Samson
by cuore ridente
Summary: Koushirou has been harboring a crush on Taichi for years and years. One night, Taichi finally looks at Koushirou in a different way, and words are exchanged, leading to events neither had ever thought possible. Taishirou, now rated M.
1. My Sweetest Downfall :Koushirou's POV:

_Samson_

* * *

*Edited up to Chapter 11 as of 3/6/13.

Warnings: Shonen-ai, foul language, lime, lemon.

Notes: Inspired by the song "Samson" by Regina Spektor. Following along with the lyrics will help the effect of the story (look at the chapter titles as it progresses). Also take note of when the point-of-view (POV) changes. Thoughts during dialogue are in _italics_. I will be using Japanese names as well as the canon universe of the Japanese originals of Digimon Adventure 01 and 02. I appreciate constructive criticism.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or "Samson" by Regina Spektor.

* * *

_My Sweetest Downfall_

* * *

He is graceful, yet he is like a bullet, sweeping past the opponent at an unmatchable speed in a whirlwind of strictly brown. It is impossible to pry my eyes away, for this certainly isn't unlike any other opportune moment that I have to gaze upon him, which, fortunately for me, is frequent. Even above him, many strides away, I can sense his charming confidence, for it radiates throughout the entire stadium. This is terrific for those who are supporting him and unpleasant for those who are not. The unmistakable mess of brown hair emerges from the blur, brown eyes focused on the target, brown skin like a quick flash in the blaring afternoon sun...

_He shoots... He scores._

I hear a snap of a camera to my left as the soccer ball flies into the net, sailing behind the goalkeeper's futilely outstretched arm. It tucks itself into the goal neatly with a _swishing_ sound. Hikari-san begins to cheer, "Yeah, onii-chan, that was awesome!"

The brown boy hears her, and he lifts his attention our way. And he smiles.

His smile is the epitome of satisfaction.

Everything about him is the epitome of my yearnings.

Perhaps that sounds a bit strange, coming from me. But there's more to me than what people know and see (or what they're able to see when they seize the rare chance to peer behind the back of my computer screen). There's a hidden part of me, and still, I've had trouble allowing it to reveal its face. I mean, it's always _been_ there and I've always been aware of its existence, but I've just never really felt ready to confront it. Finally, I am.

But it hasn't been all that easy to execute.

Emotions are fickle things, which is exasperating for someone like myself who simply wants the clear-cut answers and explanations. I seek perfection, applicable theory, and, finally, answers. Therefore, my curiosity is overwhelming, grasping at every piece of information that could potentially benefit me, and so I inevitably let myself become entangled in these complicated spider webs. In this instance, there wasn't much choice, anyway. Keeping with the insect theme here (Tentomon would appreciate this), there hasn't been a remedy invented that cures the tickling feeling that people often call "butterflies."

I've changed a lot since that discussion with my parents at the convention center. I'll never forget it, either; then again, that's not something one would easily forget. I'll admit that before that conversation, when I secretly knew about my adoption, I felt like I had to be the perfect son for my parents. I mean, they adopted_ me_ after all. I only had to live up to their expectations.

Even though after that conversation I realized that being perfect isn't what they've wanted, I suppose that since I've lived the majority of my life that way, it's become instinct.

Which leads me back to my original point.

I don't believe that the quintessential "perfect son" holds a secret, burning desire for another male. I mean, I suppose I'm comfortable with it, seeing that the boy whom I desire is unquestionably a perfect match for me in my eyes. It's just my parents and everyone else...

I know they'd understand. They really would. They'd accept me and support me, they really, really would. But that instinct with which I grew up... I'm in its chokehold. And it's quite difficult to speak and think about forming words when in a chokehold.

So here I sit, my forearms on my knees, the brown boy's sister cheering to my left, my mouth closed shut and locked despite long-concealed words begging for release. While I have to put all of my focus on preventing myself from letting those words escape, my eyes never leave him. Even if I attempted such a thing, I wouldn't be able to break my gaze.

Yagami Taichi-san is captivating when he plays soccer...or when he's doing anything else, for that matter.


	2. First Love

_First Love_

* * *

I suppose that sometimes I can seem like a colorless, emotionless, antisocial, asexual robot. That hasn't exactly been my goal, although I understand it, since it's rare for me to show any kind of soft emotion. If I ever do, I usually can't help it, like at the convention center and saying goodbye to Tentomon when I was under the impression that I would never see him again. I believe that sometimes I have my eyes to thank for that; ebony eyes are a bit of an obstacle when it comes to showing emotion. But I'd say that my eyebrows are pretty expressive; my mother has commented about them anyway.

In fact, she had brought up that subject when I had been in deep thought—thinking about Taichi-san, coincidentally enough. She had said to me, "You're thinking about something very serious, aren't you, Koushirou?"

I had looked up, my thoughts of him broken because of the interruption, and replied, "Yes, okaa-san, very much so... How did you know?"

She had smiled at me in her usual loving manner and answered, "This may sound kind of strange, but because of your eyebrows. Your eyebrows always seem to dictate what you are thinking." Her smile became wider. "I usually see them furrowed when you're really focused on something on your computer, but now you just seemed to be contemplating something. Am I right?"

Okaa-san never failed to surprise me with her insight. I gave her a smile, but I still wasn't ready to tell her that what I was contemplating was whether or not I truly had feelings for Taichi-san. "I'm impressed, okaa-san, you're right."

She seemed kind of disappointed because I didn't elaborate, but she has always respected my privacy, and I appreciate her for that. Besides, that was shortly after we had defeated the Dark Masters and Apokarimon, and it was the first time in a long time that I actually had the opportunity to sit down and reflect on everything that had happened.

I almost felt kind of guilty that my thoughts somehow kept on tracing back to Taichi-san. I believed that I should have been mourning for all of the Digimon friends that were lost, thinking about how much I missed Tentomon, or how glad I was that the two worlds were safe. There was no doubt that I did reflect on all of those things, but Taichi-san always stuck out in my mind.

I had first met Taichi-san back when I was in the same soccer club as he and Sora-san. Between the first time I had seen him dribble down the field and score a goal to the soccer game I just described, nothing has changed. I watch him with the same focus and captivation.

During our Digital World adventures, I had the opportunity to see a bad side to him since we were together almost twenty-four hours a day. He could be a rash, silly, and even somewhat dull kind of boy. Usually, I would consider him to be someone who was not worth my time. My logic seemed to tell me that anyway; I still felt slightly strange whenever I was talking to him or when he happened to be walking in the right kind of light. I didn't really know why, either, which of course, annoyed me to a great extent since I don't like being faced with a mystery that I am unable to solve. Still, I knew that we had much more important things to discover and accomplish, so I put it in the back of my mind, and that feeling soon became part of a simple routine to which I grew accustomed.

At times, he was a wonderful companion as well as a friend and was always ready to brighten up the mood when the group was feeling downtrodden. Other times, he was like a snarling, rabid dog, usually when he wasn't getting his way. This initially appalled me, but usually, all of his decisions were because of a gut-feeling, and this gut-feeling was almost always correct, which is probably why he had a sense of arrogance to him.

Despite my need to be perfect, I always felt as though I was nowhere _near_ perfect, and that everyone who surrounded me was superior to me, which is probably why I picked-up the habit of calling most of my acquaintances, even my close friends, "-san." When I discovered that I had a natural talent for not only academics but technology as well, I dove right into that world and mastered it. In the Digital World, I noticed that I wasn't the oldest, the strongest, or the bravest— but I _was_ the smartest. I tried to utilize this to my advantage, especially since I was not only curious about the Digital World, but I felt as though my research could benefit the rest of the group. I looked for acceptance and praise, hoping that my theories and discoveries would put me in a positive light. Unfortunately, sometimes I became so wrapped-up in my curiosity that I would ignore the other Chosen Children, and it took a bit of time before I realized how rude it was.

Hiding behind my computer for all of those years didn't exactly benefit my social skills, or my lack thereof. While I made a few friends over the Internet and emailed them often, I still didn't have any _real_ friends. I was too shy. The whole reason I decided to choose the soccer club to fill my physical education requirement was because it looked as though it would be easy to avoid talking to anyone. It was a sport focused more on teamwork than individual achievement, and I wouldn't have to be in the spotlight if I didn't want to be.

I was terrible at soccer, as expected, so I wasn't exactly someone that the other players wanted to include in their conversations and fun anyway. Luckily, Taichi-san and Sora-san were extremely amicable and extended their friendship to me. In fact, they were the only reason that I decided to go to that summer camp. Good thing, too, otherwise I don't think I would have gotten to the Digital World. Or perhaps there would have been a search for both the seventh and eighth children when Vamdemon came to the real world.

But I digress.

After our Digimon adventures, the Chosen Children were extremely close for a couple of weeks afterwards, but since we did have our own personal lives to attend to, we began to drift. However, Taichi-san and I remained close, although we were both very distant about our inner thoughts. For example, during Diablomon's first attack, it took awhile for me to finally force out of him why he and Sora-san weren't speaking to one another.

And I think the insane, inexplicable jealousy I experienced, knowing how much he cared for Sora-san, was what finally caught my attention.

Being wrapped-up in my computer world was the reason why I never noticed it before. The fact...that I was a homosexual. It took an excruciatingly long time for me to finally admit that to myself. Like I said before, I enjoy analyzing everything with logic, so when it came to love and other related topics, I was in very mystifying territory.

And if I wasn't mystified enough, I had to figure out why I was feeling jealous of Sora-san and why I seemed to care so much for Taichi-san.

Surprisingly, I found that I didn't have a problem evaluating why I was attracted to him, once I thought about it. It was simple: He was everything I lacked, and everything I wanted to be. He was bold, spirited, likeable, cheering, not afraid to speak his mind, and willing to do anything in the name of what is right. I felt like I could come out of my... "technology cave" when I was around him and "loosen up." As frustrating as he could be sometimes, for the majority of the time, I was happy around him.

But there was the fact that he was a _boy_, nonetheless.


	3. A Hidden Truth

_A Hidden Truth_

* * *

My penchant for analyzing everything magnified exponentially when I began searching to discover who I was. The blood that ran through me wasn't that of the Izumis, so who was I? My sexuality became only a puzzle piece of that. But I always have to chuckle to myself, because while I didn't realize the reason why I loved figuring out the world around me right away, as I demonstrated in the Digital World, _Tentomon_ did. He understood me innately, as though he was a reflection of myself that was able to respond to me, coach me, inspire me, understand me. My experiences in the Digital World have great personal significance for me in the sense that they finally allowed me to truly examine myself. Discovering that my crest, Knowledge, was the idea that I embodied awakened me suddenly—and sometimes harshly—to an unexpected potential that I never knew I had. So, with this enlightenment and boosted confidence, I found it difficult to mold and twist my brain into discerning why on earth I would ever fall for another boy.

Because of course, it seemed to make sense that everyone should fit into a simple formula: Male plus female equals offspring, to be mathematical and slightly detached about it. It's the key to the survival of the human race, so shouldn't every human be a variable of that expression? Male plus male or female plus female, well, does _not_ equal offspring. It doesn't work. And that's why I was so confused and in-denial.

The years passed, and soon, it became absolutely impossible to ignore that problem any longer. It began to hurt my grades slightly, and while they were by no means anywhere near terrible, they were not up to the personal standards that I had set for myself.

So I reassessed the problem.

There was no doubt in my mind at that point that I had a crush on Taichi-san. He was the first— and only—person that I had ever liked, so it was hard to determine whether or not I was simply bisexual or fully homosexual.

I took advantage of the opportunities I had to find out, such as when Taichi-san and Yamato-san would comment on a certain passer-by girl that they found attractive. While they would ogle over her beauty, I gained no satisfaction out of it; I simply went along and agreed with them. (That took enough confidence; they went out of their _minds_ the first time I verbally expressed any kind of interest, despite the fact that I had only remarked, "She's okay, I guess.")

However, whenever an attractive _male_ passer-by would catch my eye, then I could relate to what they were thinking whenever they saw one of those girls. It was that and, yes, okay, I'll admit it, venturing onto a few pornographic websites (don't even get me _started_ on how long it took my brain to make my fingers type _that_ into the search engine) that made me finally realize my sexuality.

And it was okay for me, because I had liked Taichi-san long enough to accept the mysteriousness of it. It was simply the fact that I wasn't perfect, that there was a problem that I couldn't solve—that simple male plus female equals offspring equation—that was a thorn in my side.

Nevertheless, once I learned to accept myself, my grades did improve. And my curiosity still quietly roared strong.

The Digimon adventures changed me in other ways as well. I started emerging more and more out of my shell and began to make friends by joining the Computer Club and such. The years passed, and I was happy to be involved in Digimon affairs once again when the new generation of Chosen Children came around. I thoroughly enjoyed being a mentor to those kids, and despite the fact that I didn't get many chances to aid them in the Digital World, I aided them with my fingertips at the keyboard, my mind at the ready; after all, it was what I did best.

Yet still, I was naturally introverted—and still am, for that matter—especially when it came to feelings. That's why everyone went crazy when they found out I was writing a love letter that one time. It wasn't like I was planning on sending it to Taichi-san; I just wanted to write it. (As Yamato-san pointed out, I didn't exactly have a printer at the time.) And in the end, I couldn't even bear to tell _Tentomon_ who it was... I had only looked away and whispered it to myself, everyone too distracted to hear me. But it was so embarrassing and even frightening to reveal that side of me when hardly anyone had ever seen it before, especially since I knew they were going to make a big fuss over it.

So I've hidden this little secret of mine. Alright, so perhaps it's a rather colossal secret that would shake-up any stream of whisperings. In fact, now that I think about it, this is probably the main reason why I've never revealed it, because I most certainly am not ready to face the mix of questions, criticism, and even ostracism.

However, if I were to one day, somehow, by some crazy stroke of luck, capture Taichi-san's heart, I'd go for it, no matter what anyone else thought or believed. But, as far as I'm concerned, Taichi-san is one of the most heterosexual people I know, and I have no intention of getting my hopes up.

I've put up a sort of exterior. It's not like I pretend to be heterosexual; at least, not often (because if I made any sort of comment related to love and crushes, the other Children would gawk at me in disbelief). I simply don't say anything at all. I believe that approaching _me_ about that kind of subject is awkward for any person anyway. I feel as though my secret is completely safe.

I still haven't told a soul, not even Tentomon, and I've been comfortable tucking it away in my heart.

I remember the day that Sora-san turned down Taichi-san for Yamato-san. I'll admit that I was secretly doing a dance inside my heart, knowing that I wouldn't have to bear watching them get together, but I felt sorrow for him as well. He was hurt because he had to watch Sora-san love somebody else, and I understood the feeling. Luckily, I didn't have to hear a rant about it (it did always hurt a little when Taichi-san rambled on about Sora-san) because he took it surprisingly well. I think it was what made him finally begin to realize that he and Sora-san were not meant to be; he needed the rejection in order for him to finally concede. Additionally, I believe he purged his frustration and disappointment through the battle later that night. And I suppose, well, he had grown up a bit.

I can't really tell if his crush faded or not. He's stopped talking to me about Sora-san, but occasionally I'll catch him gazing longingly at her when she's with Yamato-san. I've always figured that it's eventually going to diminish, but I do continually have to remind myself that Taichi-san is never going to return the enduring feelings I've held for him. Well, I give it a 99.9 percent chance, just to have a _morsel_ of optimism.

Even though I've finally grown taller and my voice has become somewhat deeper, I'm quite confident that most of the Chosen Children know me to be the same old Koushirou—the computer nerd that always has the theories. And I like it that way. I feel as though I don't need to trouble them with any of my emotional dilemmas (which are restricted to my homosexuality and my crush on Taichi-san anyway), especially with Miyako-kun's ever-changing boy-of-the-week (although I believe she has a thorough and consistent crush on Ichijouji-kun now) and Daisuke-kun's unwavering, yet unrequited, crush on Hikari-san.

It's rare that this exterior is broken, although when it is—by Taichi-san and only by Taichi-san—it usually ends in me frantically turning around to hide my embarrassment.

And today just happens to be one of those days.


	4. Flight

_Flight_

* * *

I've been watching long enough to know that the game is almost over (I can't seem to have the power to flick my eyes briefly over to the scoreboard). Taichi-san's team is winning, and he's scored three of their five goals with sharp precision. The two opposing teams run to center field once more, and the enemy begins with the ball in its possession. Taichi-san easily steals it, and just as it seems as though he's preparing for another breakaway to score, the final buzzer sounds.

Hikari-san jumps up in excitement at the team's victory, and Taichi-san shoots her the "V" sign. I give him a smile and an approving nod, and he repays it with a wide grin, resulting in my stomach performing a small somersault. He dashes to his excited teammates, who are gathering to acknowledge the other team for its attempt. Hikari-san snaps more pictures while I force myself to turn my attention to my belongings, gather them up, and start heading down to the field to congratulate Taichi-san.

By the time I reach the ground, Taichi-san is eagerly running towards Hikari-san and me. He has a white hand towel draped around his neck, a few grass stains on his uniform, his soccer bag looped lazily over his shoulder, and small beads of sweat adorning his tangled, jungle-like hair.

And I know that Taichi-san is happiest in these kinds of moments.

"If I had a few more seconds, I could've bagged another one!" he shouts to us as we approach him, we extremely calm compared to his effervescent aura.

"I'm sure, onii-chan, I'm sure," Hikari-san replies jokingly, knowing full well that he probably could have.

"Regardless, that last shot was very well-executed," I hear myself say subconsciously. I feel as though I'm going to blush at first, but my logic quickly reminds me that he could easily take it as a friendly compliment.

"Thanks, Koushirou!" Taichi-san beams again. "Hey, maybe I could go home real quick and change, and then we can all go out for lunch! That sound good?"

"Sounds like a plan," I reply, happy to be able to spend time with Taichi-san but relieved that I would be able to do so without the stench of sweat and grime to distract me.

"Did you forget?" Hikari-san asks, placing her camera around her neck, "I have plans to get together with Miyako-san to go shopping."

"Oh, that's right," Taichi-san replies apologetically, scratching the back of his head. "Well, then I guess it's just you and me, huh, Koushirou?"

Despite my intuition to give a big grin, I resort to a calculated smile. "That appears to be the situation."

"Hmm...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to maybe invite someone else along as well. I haven't seen Yamato in awhile. You know, him being so busy with his band." He turns to me. "Why don't we call him up?"

My heart falters a bit, but he's right. "I haven't seen Yamato-san lately either. That sounds like an excellent idea to me."

"Great! Why don't you call him while I get changed?"

"Alright then."

Hikari-san takes a step forward. "I'll come with you, onii-chan, I have to go home to get some money anyway."

"Okay then. Hey, maybe we could all go to Miyako-chan's so me, Koushirou, and maybe Yamato can pick up a couple things and chow-down in the park. That sound okay to you, Koushirou?"

"It's fine with me, and it makes perfect sense considering Hikari-san is headed to the same destination."

Hikari-san turns to me. "Koushirou-san, do you want to come with us, or would you rather meet us there?"

"It's okay, I'll meet you there." The last time I had been around Taichi-san while he was showering and changing had not ended very well. "See you soon!"

"Okay, see you!" The Yagamis begin to head towards their apartment while I stick my hands in my pockets and turn towards Miyako-kun's store.

It's not too far away from the soccer field, so I arrive there shortly afterwards. Knowing that I'll have to wait for a little while, I begin wandering the aisles searching for a suitable lunch.

"Izumi-senpai!"

I look behind my shoulder, knowing it could only be Miyako-kun.

"Hi, Miyako-kun, nice to see you."

"Nice to see you, too, Izumi-senpai! Can I help you find something?"

"I'm just looking for some rice and noodles to eat for lunch. Taichi-san and Hikari-san are going back to their apartment right now and—"

The girl's wide grin devolves into a small frown as she interrupts, "Hikari-chan? I hope she hasn't forgotten our shopping trip! We've had it planned-out for two weeks!"

I chuckle. "You didn't let me finish. Don't worry, she simply found it convenient to go home with Taichi-san after his soccer game because he needed to change and she needed to get some money. He's meeting me here to pick up a few things for lunch. Oh! That reminds me. I'm supposed to call Yamato-san to invite him along. Hopefully he's not too busy." I reach into my pocket and pull out my cell phone.

"Oh, Yamato-san! I haven't seen him in a really long time. How's he doing?"

I shrug as I search through my contact list. "I don't even know myself. He's been so busy with his band lately that it's been awhile since I've seen him."

"Ah, I understand why. They've been getting really popular!"

"Yes, they have," I agree as I call Yamato-san and put my cell phone to my ear. "Excuse me, Miyako-kun."

"Oh, sure, I'll be up front!"

I hear Yamato-san's phone ring as she giddily walks away. It rings several times before I decide, _Well, I guess he's not going to pick up._ Just when I expect his voicemail to sound in my ear: "_Moshi-moshi?_"

"Yamato-san! I'm so glad I caught you. It's Koushirou."

"Koushirou! Oh wow, it's been awhile since we've talked!"

"Yeah, it has! Well, Taichi-san had the idea that perhaps he, you, and I could have lunch in the park. We're meeting at Miyako-kun's store, which is, in fact, where I am standing at the moment. Think you could join us?"

"You're lucky you called me today; we're taking a well-deserved break from band practice. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Great! See you then!"

As I hang up, another part of me can't help but feel disappointed. Sure, I hang out with Taichi-san frequently enough, but I like being able to snatch any chance I have with him alone.

I quickly pick out some rice and noodles and bring them over to Miyako-kun at the cash register.

"So? Is he coming?"

"Yes, he is! Apparently his band doesn't have practice today, so he can come."

"Bingo! Lucky!"

I can't help but laugh at Miyako-kun's catchphrase. "Indeed. So now I just need to wait for Taichi-san to come as well."

"Mmm...yummy!"

It feels like my whole body has frozen solid, except for the warmth that's invading my cheeks. _I hope her flavor-of-the-week hasn't changed and she was referring to Taichi-san..._

"Wh-what?"

"Huh? Oh!" She holds up the noodles I've set on the counter. "You picked out my favorite noodles!"

"Ohhh..." I feel the heat the leave my face and my body thaw.

"Wait...did you think I meant...?" She begins to laugh. "Oh, no! You thought I was talking about Taichi-san, didn't you? Haha, it did kind of sound like it, didn't it?"

"What about me?"

I swear I can feel my intestines tie themselves into several knots as I hear that voice. My head whirls to my left as Taichi-san and Hikari-san walk in, he with damp hair and fresh clothes on and she with a small purse. He looks much improved since the soccer game, and it's impossible to miss the scent of his shampoo since he has so much hair. I admit that it's taking a bit of effort to resist him...

"Oh, hi, Taichi-san!" Miyako-kun greets him cheerfully. "Izumi-senpai was telling me about how you were meeting him here, and I happened to comment on how delicious these noodles were at the same time. It sounded like I was saying _you_ were delicious."

Taichi-san laughs and gives another one of his grins. "Well, I have been told that once or twice..."

"In his dreams," Hikari-san chimes in from behind.

"I can hear you, you know," Taichi-san grumbles.

"But you know it's true. Hi, Miyako-san, ready to head over to the mall?"

"You bet! Just as soon as Izumi-senpai pays for his lunch?"

I've been so focused on Taichi-san's entrance that I've almost forgotten. "Oh! Sorry, Miyako-kun, here you go." I get out my wallet, pay, and take my change.

"Alright, Hikari-chan, just let me get out of my apron and I'll be right there!" She disappears behind a door.

"So Koushirou, is Yamato coming?"

I nod. "Yes, he is. He should be here any minute."

"Awesome!" He gives me a thumbs-up and turns to the door where Miyako-kun has exited. "Hey, Miyako-chan! Don't leave until Yamato and I have picked out our lunch!"

"Don't worry, one of my sisters should be down here any minute!" She reappears without her apron and with her own small purse. "Let's go, Hikari-chan!"

She walks out from behind the counter and the two girls head towards the door. "See you later onii-chan, Koushirou-san!" Hikari-san calls back.

"Bye Izumi-senpai! Hope to see you soon!"

After they've left, Taichi-san makes a noise that sounds like a snort. He elbows me in the side teasingly and in a jocular voice remarks, "Miyako-chan didn't even say goodbye to me. Her attention was all on you. Think maybe she likes you?"

"I doubt that," I reply, never able to look at him whenever that kind of subject comes up, or when he's elbowing me in the side, for that matter. "I'm pretty sure she still likes Ichijouji-kun. However, I don't doubt the fact that she had a crush on me when we first met. Actually... I believe she practically worshipped me." I'm not lying, either. She had completely _fawned _over me, unable to contain her praise for my computer-related intellect.

"I believe it. She _would_."

"You're telling me."

"But now that I think about it, you guys would actually make a pretty good match."

_If only you knew, Taichi-san. _"You think so?" I still haven't been able to look at him in the eye the entire conversation.

"Sure. Why? Do you like her?"

"Koushirou liking somebody? Now _that's_ a new one."

Taichi-san and I turn around simultaneously to find Yamato-san at the door, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised in slight amusement. He looks the same since I've last seen him, except he's doused in exhaustion, with dark circles under his eyes, and his voice is much quieter (I assume he's resting it).

"Yamato!" Taichi-san runs over and gives him a friendly slap on the back. "How've you been!? It's been forever!"

"Yeah, I know, my band's been really busy, and it seems as though everywhere I go, there are at least five girls asking me for autographs. Luckily, I only bumped into two on the way here."

"Well, none of them can be as bad as Jun was."

"Don't even remind me."

Fortunately for Yamato-san, Jun has spent the past three years dealing with other guys besides him. She first stalked one of Jou-san's brothers, Shuu-san, and she _actually_ won his heart (to the amazement of us all). They dated for a little while, but Shuu-san eventually came to his senses and ended their relationship. Jun then resorted to stalking a various amount of other unlucky victims.

Yamato-san looks at me with a spark of mischief in his eye. "So what's this about Koushirou having a crush?"

I feel my cheeks go red, so I turn away.

"Well, it's obvious he likes _somebody_," Yamato-san continues, sounding extremely interested.

_Great_, I think to myself bitterly, _now they're going to pry. How did I get myself into this? I'm usually so deft at avoiding it!_

"I think it's Miyako-chan," Taichi-san declares, though I'm rather certain he's just teasing me.

"My sister?" We all whirl around to find one Miyako-kun's sisters, Momoe-san, standing behind the counter and tying on an apron. It seems as though everyone is intruding my conversations at the wrong moment today... "That's a new one. I've never heard of any guy liking my si—Koushirou-san!? _You_ like my _sister?_"

"No!" I begin waving my hands in front of me frantically. "Not at all! Well, I mean, of course I like her very much as a friend, but nothing more!"

The three of them all have very suspicious looks on their faces, and I can't help but feel timid and nervous.

"Would you _stop that!?_"

"Alright, alright, jeez, Koushirou," Taichi-san chuckles, sounding slightly amused, "no need to get so worked-up about it. Now I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving."

"Yeah, same here," Yamato-san agrees, "Dad hasn't gone out for groceries for a few days. In fact, while I'm here, I might as well get some now—"

"Aww, come on, Yamato, you can do that afterwards! Let's just go have lunch."

"I'm going to have to agree with Taichi-san on this one, because I had no breakfast." I had stayed up late working on a computer program and slept-in too long to grab anything before the soccer game.

"Alright, let's find something to eat then, Taichi," Yamato replies, noting the bag of food I'm already holding.

As they begin searching through the aisles, I lean against the counter and set my belongings and food down on the floor next to me. I can see Taichi-san's hair from over the shelves, making me smile. He's so energetic, so lively, so happy, so beautiful (yes, I did just say beautiful) that I can't help but feel cheery around him.

"So Koushirou-san," Momoe-san says to me in a hushed, gossipy tone, "do you _really_ like Miyako? If you do, I won't tell her."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I was being truthful; I don't."

"Alright, well, then who _do_ you like?"

With complete composure and an honest straight face, I reply, "I don't believe I am acquainted with you well-enough to entrust you with that kind of information."

"Jeez, no need to be so formal about it." She looks at me as though I'm peculiar, like most people my age do when I speak in that incredibly formal manner. "Well, whether you're lying or not about liking my sister, I might as well tell you that she likes that Ichijouji Ken boy anyway." She gives an amused "ha!" "How she thinks she's going to woo _him_, I have no idea."

I smile. "I figured she did. And I'd say that Ichijouji-kun really enjoys her company."

Considering that there's no sign of disappointment on my face, it seems like she decides to believe me. "Really? Well, _he's_ never _lived_ with her."

I can't help but laugh. "I'm sure that could change a person's perspective on someone, couldn't it?"

Momoe-san giggles and responds, "Yeah! My mom said that when she and my dad started living together, his cooking was so bad that she was ready to walk out on him! No wonder he decided to open up a convenient store right downstairs, huh?"

I laugh again. "Sounds logical enough."

"Hope you two weren't _flirting_ too much while we were gone," Yamato-san's voice echoes from behind me.

I roll my eyes as I turn to face him and retort, "First you accuse me of harboring a crush on Miyako-kun, now you think I'm flirting with Momoe-san, who is already dating Jou-san anyway. You change your mind awfully fast, Yamato-san."

Yamato-san laughs. "Don't worry, I know that you're far from a ladies' man."

_How observant of him,_ I note, a bit amused because he doesn't know the truth, nor do I want him to know it anytime soon.

"Aww, but he's growing up, can't you see?" Taichi-san pipes in, carrying a huge pile of assorted food. He sets everything down on the counter and ruffles my hair playfully, making me flush slightly at the contact. "Aww, see, he's blushing!"

_Great, he noticed._

Momoe-san looks kind of disgusted at the amount of food Taichi-san has placed before her. "You're going to eat _all_ of that?"

"Sure! Why not?"

The Inoue sister makes a face.

"You've never seen Taichi eat," Yamato-san says, grinning. "He's a pig."

"Guilty as charged," Taichi-san responds as Momoe-san begins scanning all of the items.

When both Taichi-san and Yamato-san have paid for their purchases, we head towards the park, Taichi-san munching on a rice ball on the way there.

"So tell us, Koushirou, who _do_ you have a crush on? Come on, fess up."

I've been hoping that they would forget about the subject. "I won't waste my time being in-denial, so I'll admit that I do like someone; however, I'm still not going to tell you who it is."

"Aww, come on, Koushirou," Taichi-san eggs on, "we're your best friends, you can tell us!"

_And that's precisely the reason why I _can't_ tell you._ "I'd prefer to keep it to myself, thanks."

Taichi-san begins to open his mouth to inquire further once again, but Yamato-san interjects, "It's his business, Taichi, he doesn't have to tell us if he doesn't want to... Although, I admit that I'd be pretty interested in knowing."

That's Yamato-san, who knows from first-hand experience that it's not pleasant when people tried to invade personal lives.

"Remember, Taichi?" he continues, "I didn't tell you that I had a crush on Sora-chan."

"Only because I would've kicked your ass if had I found out! The only reason I _didn't_ kick your ass when you guys got together is because she liked you back!" I study his face. He doesn't seem resentful about it all; perhaps he's finally over her.

Yamato-san seems to find this comical. "This is true...wait a minute."

The two boys look at me with terrifyingly serious expressions on their faces. I don't understand why at first, but then I realize, "You don't think that I like _Sora-san_, do you!?"

No response seems to indicate that the answer is yes.

"Please don't take offense, Yamato-san, but I don't like Sora-san that way, nor could I ever imagine us being more than friends!" _I could never imagine being more than friends with _any_ girl,_ I add in my mind.

"None taken, Koushirou, don't worry," Yamato-san laughs. "It's fine."

"Yeah, well, I'm still curious," Taichi-san continues, examining me for the slightest hint. Unfortunately, his looking at me for so long makes me feel nervous, so I turn away. However, that's when I spot a couple of benches under a few trees, for the park is up ahead.

"Hey look," I begin, flawlessly changing the subject, "we can sit over there."

"That's looks like a good spot," Yamato-san agrees.

We approach the benches and sit down, unwrapping our lunches, taking apart our chopsticks, and beginning to eat. Taichi-san is almost finished his meal by the time I'm halfway through mine, which makes me smile because Taichi-san's huge appetite is a part of his contagious personality. I'm not very hungry, anyway; all of this love-talk has made me slightly anxious.

When we've finished, I offer to throw away the trash. They stuff their wrappers and such into their plastic bags, and I go searching for a waste disposal can.

It takes a little while (which peeves me because I believe that there should be more trash cans in a park), but I eventually find one and begin to head back. As I near my two friends, they seem to be in deep conversation, and that's when I hear Yamato-san say, "Maybe he's gay."

My eyes widen, and I dodge behind a tree not too far away in order to hear the rest of the conversation.

"Koushirou? Gay? Nah," Taichi-san replies, dismissing the idea as though it's absurd. "I can't imagine him liking guys. …Although I have to admit that I can't imagine him liking girls either…"

"That thought has _seriously_ never crossed your mind?" Yamato-san looks kind of surprised.

"Well...maybe once...or twice. But only because he'd never mentioned liking any girls or commented that any girls were hot. But that's not _Koushirou _anyway."

I have to admit that I'm slightly annoyed that my friends are talking about me behind my back, but I'm achingly curious to find out what they're thinking, especially Taichi-san.

"I know what you mean, but I'm not the only one who's suspected it. Sora-chan has mentioned it. Mimi-chan did, too, in an email she sent me. I think she worded it something like..." He then begins to imitate Mimi-san's voice (very well, I might add). "'Has Koushirou-kun gotten a girlfriend yet, or has he finally come out of the closet?'"

My initial reaction to that is anger, but I can't help but sigh. Sometimes Mimi-san doesn't realize that her "jokes" are occasionally extremely virulent.

"That sounds kind of mean to me."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't say anything, though; you know how Mimi-chan is. But you get my point."

_Wow...am I _really_ that obvious?_

"I always figured he was asexual and left it at that," Taichi-san comments. "I mean, not like it's important anyway. If he's into guys, so what?"

My heart flutters at that. I've always known that Taichi-san is an extremely accepting person, but how would he _really_ react to me if he knew the truth? Especially if I told him how I felt about him?

"I'm not saying that it's _not_ okay; I'm just making an observation," Yamato-san replies as though he's been accused.

"Do you think we should ask him about it?" Taichi-san suggests this in a slightly softer voice.

My intestines knot-up again. I don't know how easy it would be to conceal the truth!

"Taichi, are you _crazy?_ Do you know how insulted he would be if we asked him that and he wasn't?"

"But he's a reasonable guy! I think he'll understand why we asked."

"That doesn't mean he won't feel insulted by it!"

I don't want to wait around any longer to find out what they're going to decide; I'm not about to take any chances. I stealthily move backwards and begin walking on the path again, taking out my cell phone and looking at it as I walk so it looks as though I've received a text message.

"There you are, Koushirou!" Taichi-san exclaims as he spots me.

"Yeah, sorry I took so long. They need to have more trash cans around here."

"Now, now, Koushirou, no need to cover-up the fact that you were flirting with some hot babes," Yamato-san jokes, glancing at Taichi-san, who also grins.

"Ha-ha, very funny," I reply sarcastically. "I hate to leave on such short notice, but my mom just texted me and asked if I could do a couple of errands for her. I'm really sorry."

"Your mom texts you?" Taichi-san asks incredulously, which doesn't surprise me because his mother knows absolutely nothing about technology.

"Yeah, it took me forever to teach her how to do it, but she ended up finding it easier than calling me." That's not even a lie.

"That's alright, Koushirou, it was great to see you." Yamato-san stands up and extends his hand. I take it and we shake, giving each other warm smiles.

"We should do this again really soon," I suggest. I turn in the direction of my apartment building and begin walking, waving back at my two friends. "See you guys later!"

"Bye, Koushirou!"

They wave back happily, blissfully unaware that I'm actually fleeing from them, fleeing from a truth that I have no intention of revealing any time soon.

And it's better that way.


	5. First Meeting

_First Meeting_

* * *

I think it would be impossible for me to ever forget the first time I met Taichi-san. I may have only been ten, but even at sixteen, the details are as vivid as ever.

(Wow. Six years. It just now occurred to me that I've known Taichi-san for six long years.)

I remember clutching a water bottle as I slammed the gym locker door shut. I watched as condensation took place, the small, cold droplets of water running down the back of my unsteady hand. I was pouting; I had been looking forward to relaxing at home after having taken a multitude of tests, but I had completely forgotten that after-school clubs started that day.

"You'll have fun, Koushirou, I know you will," okaa-san had said soothingly when I had called to remind her. "It's fun to try new things."

Trying new things? I much preferred trying new things on my handsome new Pineapple laptop.

But before I knew it, I was standing on the soccer field, the sounds of childish laughter and the kicking of soccer balls surrounding me. It smelled like freshly-cut grass and spray paint; the white boundary lines looked new.

I then became aware of how utterly _frightened _I was. I had barely any acquaintances at all (although I was still stubborn with admitting that to my concerned parents), and I was nowhere near proficient at mingling with people I didn't know. I could feel my knees begin to shake and my grip tighten around my water bottle. The soccer uniform felt strange, the brand new cleats on my feet foreign. _Well, _I had thought to myself, _I'll just try not to talk to anyone at all. _ So I began trudging towards a man with a clipboard and—ironically—a baseball cap, who looked as though he might be the teacher in charge of the club.

As I approached him, he sensed my presence and looked up, smiling at me.

"Hello there, what's your name?"

At least he seemed kind. "Izumi Koushirou," I squeaked, looking down at my shiny black cleats which were already covered with grass.

"Hmm..." I heard him ponder as he flipped over a page on his clipboard and scanned down, what I assumed, was a list of names. He smiled and made a mark on the page, probably acknowledging that I was present. "Welcome, Izumi! You may call me Shimizu-sensei. Have you ever played soccer before?"

I shook my head no. I felt almost ashamed of it.

Shimizu-sensei laughed a little. "Don't worry about it! You're not the only one, I promise you that. I'm sure you'll pick-up on it as easily as others have in the past."

_Easy for you to say,_ I remember thinking to myself bitterly.

"So why don't you go over there and kick the ball around with the others while we wait for the rest of the group to come, okay?" He smiled at me reassuringly.

I nodded, bowed, and replied, "Thank you very much, Shimizu-sensei." I then turned around and started walking towards the other kids, holding my water bottle against my chest as though it was a security blanket.

"What a polite kid; he's the nicest one so far," I heard him mumble thoughtfully to himself. It wasn't the first time I had heard something like that, though I still wondered why some people believed that I was worthy of such a compliment.

I became focused on making sure that I didn't trip over my shoelaces and fall flat on my face; that would've been an unfavorable way to begin my first day at the soccer club. I carefully and strategically placed one foot in front of the other until a boy's shouts cut through my trance.

I looked up.

A boy who looked one, possibly two years older than myself was running towards the goal from center field, dribbling the ball with skillful control and complete focus. The other kids stopped to watch as his huge mess of brown hair almost seemed to trail behind him as he whizzed by in a _whoosh._ The sun shone brightly over his skin, and he wore this wide, toothy grin as he lifted his foot and struck the ball, making it soar effortlessly into the net.

He turned around to meet a fanfare of cheers.

And I met his brown, radiant eyes.

That was the first time I had ever felt that tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach.

So perhaps that sounded somewhat cliché, but that's exactly what the moment was. The fact that it was like something straight out of a cheesy romance novel is the reason why I can never forget it; I never would have expected that something like that would happen to me. Well, that and the fact that I became almost a worshipper of the boy. I think at first it was mostly because I idolized him (especially since everyone crowded around him after that amazing shot), but I look back on it now and definitely spot some physical attraction in that mix of feelings as well.

After the excitement surrounding the boy had died down, Shimizu-sensei called over the whole team to have a brief introductory meeting. I don't remember anything he said, but I remember being captivated by the boy who had made the goal. He stood in the circle of the other young children, arms crossed with a cool expression; he seemed completely relaxed and in his natural habitat. I was so spellbound by him that it took me a few seconds to realize that Shimizu-sensei had ended the meeting and was instructing us to begin some passing drills.

I had three problems with this request. First, I had never kicked a soccer ball in my life. Second, I was being forced to interact with people, and I knew no one to ask to perform the drill with me. Third, I couldn't stop staring at the boy.

As I began slowly walking towards center field, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find a girl also slightly older than me with short, brown hair and kind, caramel eyes. I was surprised at first; this was supposed to be a _boys'_ soccer club. But that's when I realized that if she was playing on it, then she must be extremely good.

"Hi there!" she exclaimed, trying to sound perky to hide her obvious nervousness. "It looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't really know anyone. Am I right?"

I nodded again, also happy to know that I wasn't alone.

"Well, now we do know another person!" She held out her hand. "My name is Takenouchi Sora. What's yours?"

Shakily, I opened my mouth. "Izumi Koushirou. Nice to meet you, Takenouchi-senpai." I reached out my hand and shook hers.

She laughed. "You can call me Sora!" Then she broke into a grin. "So Koushirou, do you want to be my partner for the drill?"

"Okay, but..." I looked down at my feet and admitted sheepishly, "I've never played soccer before."

"Oh! Don't worry!" Sora-san assured me, "I won't laugh, if that's what you're thinking! I've been playing soccer for two years, I'll help you!"

For the first time that day, I gave a friendly smile. "Thank you, Sora-san."

"Now come on! Let's go!"

She ran over to a bag of soccer balls and brought one out, then telling me to stand on the boundary line where other kids were lined-up. She took a few steps back and set the ball in front of her feet.

"Okay, Koushirou, watch me." She took her foot and tapped the ball with the side of her cleat, resulting in the ball rolling towards me and stopping right in front of me. It didn't look so hard. "Now you try!"

I started to feel nervous again. I stared at the ball. It was a standard white and black-checkered ball, nothing special, with a few dirt and grass stains tainting it. I glared at it as though it was my enemy, swung my foot back, and launched it high into the air...

...it then almost hitting the boy I had been staring at earlier, who was three pairs away.

I brought my hand to my mouth as I gave a small gasp, then flushing slightly and looking away as he took notice of the ball that had landed inches in front of him.

I could feel his eyes on me once again, heard his voice calling, "Hold on a sec!" to his partner, and winced as his quickened footsteps neared closer and closer.

"Hey there, is this your ball?"

I couldn't even bear to look at him as I shook my head up and down.

"Hey, hey, there's no reason to be embarrassed. I did the exact same thing when I first tried to kick the ball."

_Great, he can tell that I'm a beginner,_ I lamented to myself.

"But don't worry, just practice, and you'll be great!" He grinned again. "What's your name?"

"Izumi Koushirou," I replied almost monotonously for the third time that day.

"Nice ta meet ya, Koushirou. I'm Yagami Taichi."

Yagami Taichi. Yagami-senpai. Taichi-san. _Taichi-san, Taichi-san, Taichi-sa—_

"Alright, now, time to play some soccer! And I'm here to help ya!" He set the ball down and put his hand on my shoulder, making me flinch in surprise. "Aww, come on, don't be shy!"

I gathered up what little courage existed within me and brought myself to look at him. He had on that same toothy grin again, and his brow already wore a thin coat of sweat. There seemed to be some kind of fire buried beneath his dark brown eyes...something burning...for something, I didn't know what. All I knew is that I wished to be just like Taichi-san.

"Okay, so you have to make sure that your foot is facing the same direction that you want the ball to go. And you don't kick your foot up like you must have, that's when the ball goes into the air like that." He demonstrated by positioning his foot and motioned for me to do the same. I obeyed. "There, that's good, now try."

I thought I was going to kick it well, but for some reason, it curved to the left instead.

"No, no, not like that..." he trailed off.

I looked up at him, feeling terrible for having failed, but that's when I noticed that the fire in his eyes had extinguished. He seemed to be somewhere else in his mind, thinking about something distressing, and somehow, I had caused it, making me feel even worse. It wasn't until the Digital World that I discovered that he must have been thinking about the day when Hikari-san had to go to the hospital after he attempted to get her to play soccer with him while she was sick.

I panicked and timidly squeaked, "Are...are you okay?"

"Huh?" He seemed to snap out of his daze and looked down at me. "Oh, I'm sorry, I must've just... Ah, I don't know, it's not important!" He ran over to get the ball. I glanced up at Sora-san, who was standing there with her arms crossed, but she seemed to be watching Taichi-san with the same fascination that I had. I didn't blame her.

"Okay, it probably went to the left like that 'cause you curved your leg a bit to the left when you kicked it," he was telling me. I was too busy gaping at how much hair he had. It didn't look as though he combed it, yet somehow...it worked for him. I could never get away with that.

"You also don't have to kick it so hard," he explained, "so here, watch me, I'm going to pass it to..." He stopped. He was staring.

I followed his eyes and found myself looking at Sora-san, who had noticed us and was going slightly pink.

Then Taichi-san formed a big, wide grin. "Oi!" he called over to her. "What's your name?"

She blinked a couple of times in surprise. "I'm Takenouchi Sora...we were in the same class in first grade, weren't we?"

"Really?" He seemed to think for a bit. "Oh yeah... That name does sound familiar! Well, cool."

I could tell that he was interested in her. I wasn't very familiar with what made a girl pretty, but I had a feeling that he thought she was.

"She must be good if she's here..." I could hear him musing to himself, his gaze never wavering. Then he called back to her, "I'm going to pass the ball to you to show Koushirou here how it's done! 'Kay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Okay."

He passed to her—very accurately. It made me nervous because there wasn't any chance that I was going to pass it better than he. Sora-san kicked it back, and Taichi-san stopped it with the bottom of his foot. He backed away and held out his arm in an inviting manner. "Alright, now you can try again."

I stepped up in front of the ball and tried to copy how Taichi-san had kicked it. I brought my foot back and swung it forward in a straight, sweeping motion. It still curved a little to the left, but it reached Sora-san, and she only had to take a small step to reach it.

Taichi-san gave me a thumbs-up. "You're getting it!"

And from that moment on, Taichi-san, Sora-san, and I were an inseparable trio during the soccer club. I would improve a little bit every practice, but I was still nowhere near Taichi-san and Sora-san's league. That didn't bother me, though; I didn't expect to magically become a soccer star. Even more so, I found myself surprisingly grateful to finally have friends, even if half the time they were giggling and maybe even flirting with each other occasionally. (At the time I didn't realize that the nagging feeling in my stomach was a small patch of jealousy.) Still, I never worked-up enough guts to invite them over or anything, especially since I didn't know how I would entertain them. I didn't think they would appreciate watching me write computer programs. Nonetheless, after several practices, I wasn't staring at the dirt caked on my shoes half the time. I would talk and, on occasion, laugh.

When we started scrimmaging, Shimizu-sensei would usually put me somewhere on defense for a short while, but I mostly sat on the bench. I certainly didn't mind, though; I liked being able to watch my friends excel, especially Taichi-san, who was hard _not_ to watch.

My parents attended every single scrimmage they could and would always cheer me on, even if an opponent would easily pass me, which was usually the case unless they happened to be on a lesser skill level than myself...or if luck was on my side.

They would see me talking with Taichi-san and Sora-san and suggest inviting them over. I'd always say no. They'd ask why and I would simply shrug, not going into any further detail. It wasn't that I _didn't_ want to become better friends with them; I suppose I was simply afraid that, for some reason, they weren't going to like the Koushirou outside of the soccer club. I didn't know why I believed that, but that was my fear.

Both Taichi-san and Sora-san would invite me over to play, but I would always concoct some ridiculous excuse. It was pathetic, now that I look back on it. After soccer club ended, we exchanged phone numbers, but rarely called one another. The fact that Taichi-san and Sora-san _did_ have other good friends didn't help the situation. I didn't hear from either of them for awhile until Taichi-san left a message about some summer camp. When I heard that both he and Sora-san were going, I decided to attend, even though I knew that I would probably be on my computer most of the time. I figured that my two friends would make it easier to acquire more friends.

And of course, that summer camp led us to our Digital World adventures and a bigger transformation of Izumi Koushirou than I could've ever imagined.


	6. Samson's Return :Taichi's POV:

_Samson's Return_

_**(Two weeks later)**_

* * *

_God, who am I?_

I collapse in a heap on an extremely uncomfortable old futon as I'm thinking that. It's the same futon of Koushirou's that I've been using every time I sleep over at his apartment. Although, _this_ sleepover had definitely been a little bit different than usual.

Yeah, ha. Just a _little_.

Earlier today, I was checking out a bunch of cheerleaders, trying to look under their skirts and wishing that their uniforms were a bit more low-cut. Yet just a couple hours ago, I was fucking my best friend. My best _guy_ friend. Something doesn't sound right here.

Goddamn it, it sounds so weird. It's not _me_. But the thing is... I liked it. No, scratch that, I _really_ liked it. It was…pretty awesome. Maybe even amazing.

But...I'm a guy. And I say that because, well, aren't all guys supposed to be really horny or something? I mean, if I closed my eyes and pretended that I was screwing a girl...it wouldn't really matter, right? Same general feeling, right?

Yeah, but then I'll open my eyes afterwards and see Koushirou. And not like I know what it feels like to screw a girl, anyway.

But, it was great. Being with…with _Koushirou_ was great. And I can't stop thinking about it!

I roll over to face my best friend, having to look up because I'm on the floor and he's on his bed. His eyes are closed; I guess he must be sleeping. I don't blame him. Hell, I'm just as exhausted. But there is _no way_ I'm going to be able to sleep.

I feel my cheeks get hot... Those dang _hickeys_ on his neck. I still feel really bad about that.

But when I kissed him on his neck, he was enjoying it so much...and I couldn't get enough of hearing him moan like that...

Ugh, this is so fucked-up.

I'm _not_ gay, I'm _not_. I can't be, not like Koushirou (which I'm still finding hard to believe, despite our recent acts). The thought of a hot girl could _definitely_ still do it for me, but for some reason...Koushirou is even better. And the last time I checked, I'm not supposed to be thinking about my male best friend that way.

Is it _because_ we had sex? Well, now probably, yeah. But it's just that...I was feeling that way before we even touched each other. But it's like...I couldn't have just turned gay _overnight_.

I guess...I guess for the first time in my life, I actually used some _logic_. I mean, I don't think I was doing it _consciously_, but maybe my brain was trying to tell me something. Because now, when I think about it, Koushirou _is_ really good for me. And I feel almost stupid for not realizing it until tonight. I mean, not like it should have ever really crossed my mind, but maybe now that we've placed the prospect on the table, it just makes sense.

Now, I know that I can be kind of rash. I've been better about it lately, but I'll admit it, and I don't understand why some people talk about it behind my back like it's this big secret or something. Being rash can be a really great feeling sometimes, but other times...not so much. Like the first time SkullGreymon appeared, that was really bad...

I look at Koushirou, and he's the exact opposite. Although, sometimes I think it's a little unnatural, him being able to control himself so well. (He didn't seem to be able to control himself tonight, though..._agh_, I _have_ to stop thinking about it!) But as we've gotten closer over the years, like after the Digital World and stuff, he almost kind of...radiates that control. And I think it's rubbed off on me. I'm not as headstrong and aggressive as I used to be. And I think that's a good thing.

Koushirou's so _chill_, and I was a fireball. Now...I'm more like a bunch of candle flames. I mean, I've still got my energy and confidence, but I'm not as wild. And I guess I should give most of the credit to this little thing called "growing up," but I have to give some of it to Koushirou, too.

He calms me down and really makes me look at life through a clear lens, which has helped me time and time again, even with stupid, melodramatic things. We can laugh and talk and play video games without any worries, and I can relax around him because he's, well..._Koushirou_. It's hard to explain, I guess.

And sometimes, I can get him to lighten up a bit, to go out and have fun, like convince him to help throw a party for the other Chosen Children or go to the beach. If I didn't, he'd be sitting on his ass all night doing who-knows-what on his computer. And as much as I like the laid-back Koushirou, it's really great to see him let go once in awhile.

Other times, I have to remind him that not everything is logical or like a math problem. Like how I kept on liking Sora even though she and Yamato were going out. We'd get into these really deep conversations, and even though he'd never admit it, he always had this look, like he was really, really thinking about something. …I guess he was thinking about why he liked me, now that I look back on it. Wow. Now I feel pretty terrible about that…

Anyway. We balance each other out. We complete each other. It's almost like…no. I mean… I guess I could say that we're like "soul mates" or something corny like that, but no… I have to think straight here…

But like I said... Even though I _know_ it doesn't have to be logical, my conscience keeps telling me that I'm not supposed to look at him that way. So that's why this is so frustrating.

And I keep thinking about the fact that he told me he loves me...that he has ever since he _saw_ me. I mean, I've known Koushirou for a long, _long_ time, and to think that he's had a crush on me for _all_ these years...it's a bit mind-blowing. And it makes me feel stupid. Blind.

Or maybe he was just really, really good at hiding it. Yeah. I'm going with that. One less thing to feel stupid about.

Shit, I've been staring at him for a long time. He looks so peaceful...like he's achieved nirvana or something. Well, okay, I mean, that'd make sense considering he just screwed the guy he's been crushing on for like, what, six years? Damn. He's lucky.

Although it's kind of weird, since it's _me_ he loves and all. And I don't think he was jumping the gun on saying that he loves me, either. I could see it in his eyes. And if I could see emotion in _his_ eyes, well, that's some pretty damn strong emotion right there.

Man, now I feel really, _really_ bad. Who am I kidding? Koushirou didn't screw me or fuck me or whatever other slang word there is out there to call it.

He made love to me.

He really did. And who am I to be as heartless as I am, calling it anything else? I would've never expected Koushirou to be like that. When I liked Sora, I had nowhere _near_ that amount of feelings for her. And that's why this is so overwhelming.

Now I feel even worse. Why did _I _do it? There was _no way_ I deserved to do that with him when he's loved me for six years and I only realized that I had feelings for him _tonight _(or last night, considering it's almost 5 in the morning). That just doesn't make sense. It's like..._not fair_. He had to wait six fucking years to do that (well, maybe it was a good thing in that case; not too many ten-year-olds get that kind of action, last time I checked). I had to wait barely a few hours. Not only that, but the last thing I want to do is believe that I did it out of lust.

Which I guess brings me back to the whole "guys are horny" deal. But Koushirou... Sorry for the irony of this, but it's a little weird to use "Koushirou" and "horny" in the same sentence. He just... It's_ impossible _for him to get like that. Right?

Well, I guess he was a _little_ if he had the initiative to be with me…

Wow, I never thought that I'd lose my virginity to a guy, especially _Koushirou_. Does it even _count_ as losing my virginity? Hmm... I guess, because I mean, for people like Koushirou who are completely homosexual..._they_ definitely lose their virginity. I mean, they can't be left out.

(So does that make me bi? Bi-curious? It's not like I did it out of curiosity... I did it because I _wanted_ to. Shit, I'm so confused.)

So I guess so. I'm seventeen; it's about time, I'd say. I mean, I never planned on losing it to some chick off the street, but I never needed it to be with anyone really special. Now, I'd only be with Koushirou, and I can't even imagine doing it with anyone else, not even Sora. I mean, just yesterday I was thinking about how I'd do her if I had the chance...like if she broke-up with Yamato or something (which probably won't happen anytime soon anyway). It's like I've had an epiphany.

Did he maybe unlock another part of me that has been hidden all my life? Koushirou's good with that kind of mysterious stuff.

I mean... He's just so goddamn _different! _Different, in a good way, than all of the other girls I've liked or thought were attractive. I'm still amazed that I never realized how great he was for me, how beautiful he is... Really. And I never thought I'd say that. Ever.

I look back at him again, finally noticing every single wonderful little detail about him. Creamy skin contrasted by his fire-hair; tiny, wispy eyelashes that made his dark pupils seem larger; his curvy, expressive eyebrows; thin, intelligent smile; and a dash of almost unnoticeable freckles on his nose and cheeks.

How did I _not_ notice these things before? They stick out at me all at once now.

I prop up my head up with my arm; it's impossible to sleep, just like I thought it would be. I watch his chest move up and down with his breathing...it's smooth and deep, not sharp and quick like before...

I can't think about before. I'll end up getting riled-up again, and I really don't want that to happen.

I wonder if he's dreaming about me... That seems weird. It's like, it's not weird when I'm dreaming about someone, but when I hear that someone dreamed about me... I don't know. I guess... I've never seen myself like other people see me, so it's strange and unfamiliar. But I'm damn curious to know how other people _do_ see me.

Which I guess is probably the reason why I still can't believe Koushirou loves me.

Wow. Someone loves _me_. It _is_ weird, trying to convince myself that. Because it's like...all my life (well, beginning in elementary school anyway), I've been wondering how I can get someone to like me. Like, what is it about me that makes me attractive? Who would love _me?_ And I think that a lot of people would find it strange that _Koushirou_ would. Hell, I did.

But it works.


	7. Bouquet of Brown

_Flight_

* * *

I've been watching long enough to know that the game is almost over (I can't seem to have the power to flick my eyes briefly over to the scoreboard). Taichi-san's team is winning, and he's scored three of their five goals with sharp precision. The two opposing teams run to center field once more, and the enemy begins with the ball in its possession. Taichi-san easily steals it, and just as it seems as though he's preparing for another breakaway to score, the final buzzer sounds.

Hikari-san jumps up in excitement at the team's victory, and Taichi-san shoots her the "V" sign. I give him a smile and an approving nod, and he repays it with a wide grin, resulting in my stomach performing a small somersault. He dashes to his excited teammates, who are gathering to acknowledge the other team for its attempt. Hikari-san snaps more pictures while I force myself to turn my attention to my belongings, gather them up, and start heading down to the field to congratulate Taichi-san.

By the time I reach the ground, Taichi-san is eagerly running towards Hikari-san and me. He has a white hand towel draped around his neck, a few grass stains on his uniform, his soccer bag looped lazily over his shoulder, and small beads of sweat adorning his tangled, jungle-like hair.

And I know that Taichi-san is happiest in these kinds of moments.

"If I had a few more seconds, I could've bagged another one!" he shouts to us as we approach him, we extremely calm compared to his effervescent aura.

"I'm sure, onii-chan, I'm sure," Hikari-san replies jokingly, knowing full well that he probably could have.

"Regardless, that last shot was very well-executed," I hear myself say subconsciously. I feel as though I'm going to blush at first, but my logic quickly reminds me that he could easily take it as a friendly compliment.

"Thanks, Koushirou!" Taichi-san beams again. "Hey, maybe I could go home real quick and change, and then we can all go out for lunch! That sound good?"

"Sounds like a plan," I reply, happy to be able to spend time with Taichi-san but relieved that I would be able to do so without the stench of sweat and grime to distract me.

"Did you forget?" Hikari-san asks, placing her camera around her neck, "I have plans to get together with Miyako-san to go shopping."

"Oh, that's right," Taichi-san replies apologetically, scratching the back of his head. "Well, then I guess it's just you and me, huh, Koushirou?"

Despite my intuition to give a big grin, I resort to a calculated smile. "That appears to be the situation."

"Hmm...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to maybe invite someone else along as well. I haven't seen Yamato in awhile. You know, him being so busy with his band." He turns to me. "Why don't we call him up?"

My heart falters a bit, but he's right. "I haven't seen Yamato-san lately either. That sounds like an excellent idea to me."

"Great! Why don't you call him while I get changed?"

"Alright then."

Hikari-san takes a step forward. "I'll come with you, onii-chan, I have to go home to get some money anyway."

"Okay then. Hey, maybe we could all go to Miyako-chan's so me, Koushirou, and maybe Yamato can pick up a couple things and chow-down in the park. That sound okay to you, Koushirou?"

"It's fine with me, and it makes perfect sense considering Hikari-san is headed to the same destination."

Hikari-san turns to me. "Koushirou-san, do you want to come with us, or would you rather meet us there?"

"It's okay, I'll meet you there." The last time I had been around Taichi-san while he was showering and changing had not ended very well. "See you soon!"

"Okay, see you!" The Yagamis begin to head towards their apartment while I stick my hands in my pockets and turn towards Miyako-kun's store.

It's not too far away from the soccer field, so I arrive there shortly afterwards. Knowing that I'll have to wait for a little while, I begin wandering the aisles searching for a suitable lunch.

"Izumi-senpai!"

I look behind my shoulder, knowing it could only be Miyako-kun.

"Hi, Miyako-kun, nice to see you."

"Nice to see you, too, Izumi-senpai! Can I help you find something?"

"I'm just looking for some rice and noodles to eat for lunch. Taichi-san and Hikari-san are going back to their apartment right now and—"

The girl's wide grin devolves into a small frown as she interrupts, "Hikari-chan? I hope she hasn't forgotten our shopping trip! We've had it planned-out for two weeks!"

I chuckle. "You didn't let me finish. Don't worry, she simply found it convenient to go home with Taichi-san after his soccer game because he needed to change and she needed to get some money. He's meeting me here to pick up a few things for lunch. Oh! That reminds me. I'm supposed to call Yamato-san to invite him along. Hopefully he's not too busy." I reach into my pocket and pull out my cell phone.

"Oh, Yamato-san! I haven't seen him in a really long time. How's he doing?"

I shrug as I search through my contact list. "I don't even know myself. He's been so busy with his band lately that it's been awhile since I've seen him."

"Ah, I understand why. They've been getting really popular!"

"Yes, they have," I agree as I call Yamato-san and put my cell phone to my ear. "Excuse me, Miyako-kun."

"Oh, sure, I'll be up front!"

I hear Yamato-san's phone ring as she giddily walks away. It rings several times before I decide, _Well, I guess he's not going to pick up._ Just when I expect his voicemail to sound in my ear: "_Moshi-moshi?_"

"Yamato-san! I'm so glad I caught you. It's Koushirou."

"Koushirou! Oh wow, it's been awhile since we've talked!"

"Yeah, it has! Well, Taichi-san had the idea that perhaps he, you, and I could have lunch in the park. We're meeting at Miyako-kun's store, which is, in fact, where I am standing at the moment. Think you could join us?"

"You're lucky you called me today; we're taking a well-deserved break from band practice. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Great! See you then!"

As I hang up, another part of me can't help but feel disappointed. Sure, I hang out with Taichi-san frequently enough, but I like being able to snatch any chance I have with him alone.

I quickly pick out some rice and noodles and bring them over to Miyako-kun at the cash register.

"So? Is he coming?"

"Yes, he is! Apparently his band doesn't have practice today, so he can come."

"Bingo! Lucky!"

I can't help but laugh at Miyako-kun's catchphrase. "Indeed. So now I just need to wait for Taichi-san to come as well."

"Mmm...yummy!"

It feels like my whole body has frozen solid, except for the warmth that's invading my cheeks. _I hope her flavor-of-the-week hasn't changed and she was referring to Taichi-san..._

"Wh-what?"

"Huh? Oh!" She holds up the noodles I've set on the counter. "You picked out my favorite noodles!"

"Ohhh..." I feel the heat the leave my face and my body thaw.

"Wait...did you think I meant...?" She begins to laugh. "Oh, no! You thought I was talking about Taichi-san, didn't you? Haha, it did kind of sound like it, didn't it?"

"What about me?"

I swear I can feel my intestines tie themselves into several knots as I hear that voice. My head whirls to my left as Taichi-san and Hikari-san walk in, he with damp hair and fresh clothes on and she with a small purse. He looks much improved since the soccer game, and it's impossible to miss the scent of his shampoo since he has so much hair. I admit that it's taking a bit of effort to resist him...

"Oh, hi, Taichi-san!" Miyako-kun greets him cheerfully. "Izumi-senpai was telling me about how you were meeting him here, and I happened to comment on how delicious these noodles were at the same time. It sounded like I was saying _you_ were delicious."

Taichi-san laughs and gives another one of his grins. "Well, I have been told that once or twice..."

"In his dreams," Hikari-san chimes in from behind.

"I can hear you, you know," Taichi-san grumbles.

"But you know it's true. Hi, Miyako-san, ready to head over to the mall?"

"You bet! Just as soon as Izumi-senpai pays for his lunch?"

I've been so focused on Taichi-san's entrance that I've almost forgotten. "Oh! Sorry, Miyako-kun, here you go." I get out my wallet, pay, and take my change.

"Alright, Hikari-chan, just let me get out of my apron and I'll be right there!" She disappears behind a door.

"So Koushirou, is Yamato coming?"

I nod. "Yes, he is. He should be here any minute."

"Awesome!" He gives me a thumbs-up and turns to the door where Miyako-kun has exited. "Hey, Miyako-chan! Don't leave until Yamato and I have picked out our lunch!"

"Don't worry, one of my sisters should be down here any minute!" She reappears without her apron and with her own small purse. "Let's go, Hikari-chan!"

She walks out from behind the counter and the two girls head towards the door. "See you later onii-chan, Koushirou-san!" Hikari-san calls back.

"Bye Izumi-senpai! Hope to see you soon!"

After they've left, Taichi-san makes a noise that sounds like a snort. He elbows me in the side teasingly and in a jocular voice remarks, "Miyako-chan didn't even say goodbye to me. Her attention was all on you. Think maybe she likes you?"

"I doubt that," I reply, never able to look at him whenever that kind of subject comes up, or when he's elbowing me in the side, for that matter. "I'm pretty sure she still likes Ichijouji-kun. However, I don't doubt the fact that she had a crush on me when we first met. Actually... I believe she practically worshipped me." I'm not lying, either. She had completely _fawned _over me, unable to contain her praise for my computer-related intellect.

"I believe it. She _would_."

"You're telling me."

"But now that I think about it, you guys would actually make a pretty good match."

_If only you knew, Taichi-san. _"You think so?" I still haven't been able to look at him in the eye the entire conversation.

"Sure. Why? Do you like her?"

"Koushirou liking somebody? Now _that's_ a new one."

Taichi-san and I turn around simultaneously to find Yamato-san at the door, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised in slight amusement. He looks the same since I've last seen him, except he's doused in exhaustion, with dark circles under his eyes, and his voice is much quieter (I assume he's resting it).

"Yamato!" Taichi-san runs over and gives him a friendly slap on the back. "How've you been!? It's been forever!"

"Yeah, I know, my band's been really busy, and it seems as though everywhere I go, there are at least five girls asking me for autographs. Luckily, I only bumped into two on the way here."

"Well, none of them can be as bad as Jun was."

"Don't even remind me."

Fortunately for Yamato-san, Jun has spent the past three years dealing with other guys besides him. She first stalked one of Jou-san's brothers, Shuu-san, and she _actually_ won his heart (to the amazement of us all). They dated for a little while, but Shuu-san eventually came to his senses and ended their relationship. Jun then resorted to stalking a various amount of other unlucky victims.

Yamato-san looks at me with a spark of mischief in his eye. "So what's this about Koushirou having a crush?"

I feel my cheeks go red, so I turn away.

"Well, it's obvious he likes _somebody_," Yamato-san continues, sounding extremely interested.

_Great_, I think to myself bitterly, _now they're going to pry. How did I get myself into this? I'm usually so deft at avoiding it!_

"I think it's Miyako-chan," Taichi-san declares, though I'm rather certain he's just teasing me.

"My sister?" We all whirl around to find one Miyako-kun's sisters, Momoe-san, standing behind the counter and tying on an apron. It seems as though everyone is intruding my conversations at the wrong moment today... "That's a new one. I've never heard of any guy liking my si—Koushirou-san!? _You_ like my _sister?_"

"No!" I begin waving my hands in front of me frantically. "Not at all! Well, I mean, of course I like her very much as a friend, but nothing more!"

The three of them all have very suspicious looks on their faces, and I can't help but feel timid and nervous.

"Would you _stop that!?_"

"Alright, alright, jeez, Koushirou," Taichi-san chuckles, sounding slightly amused, "no need to get so worked-up about it. Now I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving."

"Yeah, same here," Yamato-san agrees, "Dad hasn't gone out for groceries for a few days. In fact, while I'm here, I might as well get some now—"

"Aww, come on, Yamato, you can do that afterwards! Let's just go have lunch."

"I'm going to have to agree with Taichi-san on this one, because I had no breakfast." I had stayed up late working on a computer program and slept-in too long to grab anything before the soccer game.

"Alright, let's find something to eat then, Taichi," Yamato replies, noting the bag of food I'm already holding.

As they begin searching through the aisles, I lean against the counter and set my belongings and food down on the floor next to me. I can see Taichi-san's hair from over the shelves, making me smile. He's so energetic, so lively, so happy, so beautiful (yes, I did just say beautiful) that I can't help but feel cheery around him.

"So Koushirou-san," Momoe-san says to me in a hushed, gossipy tone, "do you _really_ like Miyako? If you do, I won't tell her."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I was being truthful; I don't."

"Alright, well, then who _do_ you like?"

With complete composure and an honest straight face, I reply, "I don't believe I am acquainted with you well-enough to entrust you with that kind of information."

"Jeez, no need to be so formal about it." She looks at me as though I'm peculiar, like most people my age do when I speak in that incredibly formal manner. "Well, whether you're lying or not about liking my sister, I might as well tell you that she likes that Ichijouji Ken boy anyway." She gives an amused "ha!" "How she thinks she's going to woo _him_, I have no idea."

I smile. "I figured she did. And I'd say that Ichijouji-kun really enjoys her company."

Considering that there's no sign of disappointment on my face, it seems like she decides to believe me. "Really? Well, _he's_ never _lived_ with her."

I can't help but laugh. "I'm sure that could change a person's perspective on someone, couldn't it?"

Momoe-san giggles and responds, "Yeah! My mom said that when she and my dad started living together, his cooking was so bad that she was ready to walk out on him! No wonder he decided to open up a convenient store right downstairs, huh?"

I laugh again. "Sounds logical enough."

"Hope you two weren't _flirting_ too much while we were gone," Yamato-san's voice echoes from behind me.

I roll my eyes as I turn to face him and retort, "First you accuse me of harboring a crush on Miyako-kun, now you think I'm flirting with Momoe-san, who is already dating Jou-san anyway. You change your mind awfully fast, Yamato-san."

Yamato-san laughs. "Don't worry, I know that you're far from a ladies' man."

_How observant of him,_ I note, a bit amused because he doesn't know the truth, nor do I want him to know it anytime soon.

"Aww, but he's growing up, can't you see?" Taichi-san pipes in, carrying a huge pile of assorted food. He sets everything down on the counter and ruffles my hair playfully, making me flush slightly at the contact. "Aww, see, he's blushing!"

_Great, he noticed._

Momoe-san looks kind of disgusted at the amount of food Taichi-san has placed before her. "You're going to eat _all_ of that?"

"Sure! Why not?"

The Inoue sister makes a face.

"You've never seen Taichi eat," Yamato-san says, grinning. "He's a pig."

"Guilty as charged," Taichi-san responds as Momoe-san begins scanning all of the items.

When both Taichi-san and Yamato-san have paid for their purchases, we head towards the park, Taichi-san munching on a rice ball on the way there.

"So tell us, Koushirou, who _do_ you have a crush on? Come on, fess up."

I've been hoping that they would forget about the subject. "I won't waste my time being in-denial, so I'll admit that I do like someone; however, I'm still not going to tell you who it is."

"Aww, come on, Koushirou," Taichi-san eggs on, "we're your best friends, you can tell us!"

_And that's precisely the reason why I _can't_ tell you._ "I'd prefer to keep it to myself, thanks."

Taichi-san begins to open his mouth to inquire further once again, but Yamato-san interjects, "It's his business, Taichi, he doesn't have to tell us if he doesn't want to... Although, I admit that I'd be pretty interested in knowing."

That's Yamato-san, who knows from first-hand experience that it's not pleasant when people tried to invade personal lives.

"Remember, Taichi?" he continues, "I didn't tell you that I had a crush on Sora-chan."

"Only because I would've kicked your ass if had I found out! The only reason I _didn't_ kick your ass when you guys got together is because she liked you back!" I study his face. He doesn't seem resentful about it all; perhaps he's finally over her.

Yamato-san seems to find this comical. "This is true...wait a minute."

The two boys look at me with terrifyingly serious expressions on their faces. I don't understand why at first, but then I realize, "You don't think that I like _Sora-san_, do you!?"

No response seems to indicate that the answer is yes.

"Please don't take offense, Yamato-san, but I don't like Sora-san that way, nor could I ever imagine us being more than friends!" _I could never imagine being more than friends with _any_ girl,_ I add in my mind.

"None taken, Koushirou, don't worry," Yamato-san laughs. "It's fine."

"Yeah, well, I'm still curious," Taichi-san continues, examining me for the slightest hint. Unfortunately, his looking at me for so long makes me feel nervous, so I turn away. However, that's when I spot a couple of benches under a few trees, for the park is up ahead.

"Hey look," I begin, flawlessly changing the subject, "we can sit over there."

"That's looks like a good spot," Yamato-san agrees.

We approach the benches and sit down, unwrapping our lunches, taking apart our chopsticks, and beginning to eat. Taichi-san is almost finished his meal by the time I'm halfway through mine, which makes me smile because Taichi-san's huge appetite is a part of his contagious personality. I'm not very hungry, anyway; all of this love-talk has made me slightly anxious.

When we've finished, I offer to throw away the trash. They stuff their wrappers and such into their plastic bags, and I go searching for a waste disposal can.

It takes a little while (which peeves me because I believe that there should be more trash cans in a park), but I eventually find one and begin to head back. As I near my two friends, they seem to be in deep conversation, and that's when I hear Yamato-san say, "Maybe he's gay."

My eyes widen, and I dodge behind a tree not too far away in order to hear the rest of the conversation.

"Koushirou? Gay? Nah," Taichi-san replies, dismissing the idea as though it's absurd. "I can't imagine him liking guys. …Although I have to admit that I can't imagine him liking girls either…"

"That thought has _seriously_ never crossed your mind?" Yamato-san looks kind of surprised.

"Well...maybe once...or twice. But only because he'd never mentioned liking any girls or commented that any girls were hot. But that's not _Koushirou _anyway."

I have to admit that I'm slightly annoyed that my friends are talking about me behind my back, but I'm achingly curious to find out what they're thinking, especially Taichi-san.

"I know what you mean, but I'm not the only one who's suspected it. Sora-chan has mentioned it. Mimi-chan did, too, in an email she sent me. I think she worded it something like..." He then begins to imitate Mimi-san's voice (very well, I might add). "'Has Koushirou-kun gotten a girlfriend yet, or has he finally come out of the closet?'"

My initial reaction to that is anger, but I can't help but sigh. Sometimes Mimi-san doesn't realize that her "jokes" are occasionally extremely virulent.

"That sounds kind of mean to me."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't say anything, though; you know how Mimi-chan is. But you get my point."

_Wow...am I _really_ that obvious?_

"I always figured he was asexual and left it at that," Taichi-san comments. "I mean, not like it's important anyway. If he's into guys, so what?"

My heart flutters at that. I've always known that Taichi-san is an extremely accepting person, but how would he _really_ react to me if he knew the truth? Especially if I told him how I felt about him?

"I'm not saying that it's _not_ okay; I'm just making an observation," Yamato-san replies as though he's been accused.

"Do you think we should ask him about it?" Taichi-san suggests this in a slightly softer voice.

My intestines knot-up again. I don't know how easy it would be to conceal the truth!

"Taichi, are you _crazy?_ Do you know how insulted he would be if we asked him that and he wasn't?"

"But he's a reasonable guy! I think he'll understand why we asked."

"That doesn't mean he won't feel insulted by it!"

I don't want to wait around any longer to find out what they're going to decide; I'm not about to take any chances. I stealthily move backwards and begin walking on the path again, taking out my cell phone and looking at it as I walk so it looks as though I've received a text message.

"There you are, Koushirou!" Taichi-san exclaims as he spots me.

"Yeah, sorry I took so long. They need to have more trash cans around here."

"Now, now, Koushirou, no need to cover-up the fact that you were flirting with some hot babes," Yamato-san jokes, glancing at Taichi-san, who also grins.

"Ha-ha, very funny," I reply sarcastically. "I hate to leave on such short notice, but my mom just texted me and asked if I could do a couple of errands for her. I'm really sorry."

"Your mom texts you?" Taichi-san asks incredulously, which doesn't surprise me because his mother knows absolutely nothing about technology.

"Yeah, it took me forever to teach her how to do it, but she ended up finding it easier than calling me." That's not even a lie.

"That's alright, Koushirou, it was great to see you." Yamato-san stands up and extends his hand. I take it and we shake, giving each other warm smiles.

"We should do this again really soon," I suggest. I turn in the direction of my apartment building and begin walking, waving back at my two friends. "See you guys later!"

"Bye, Koushirou!"

They wave back happily, blissfully unaware that I'm actually fleeing from them, fleeing from a truth that I have no intention of revealing any time soon.

And it's better that way.


	8. Bedtime Snack

_Bedtime Snack_

* * *

I'm hungry.

I can't help but smile to myself sheepishly as my stomach rumbles. _Well, that's one aspect of myself that I won't be letting go..._

I glance over at Koushirou once more. He still seems to be sleeping soundly. I wish I could fall asleep as fast and as easily as he can. I'm surprised that this whole thing isn't keeping him up as well.

I slowly and cautiously get up from my futon. I don't want to wake him. It would almost be like a sin to do that.

I creak open his bedroom door and peek into the hallway. The sun is really starting to rise now, and I should really be getting to sleep. But my hunger is greater than my exhaustion.

I slide into his kitchen and open up the refrigerator, surveying what's in stock, even though nothing has changed from yesterday. More leftover rice, curry, eggs... Maybe I'll make some eggs. Make some for Koushirou. He'd probably appreciate it. Making love late into the night can work up an appetite...

I bang my fist against the unopened freezer door as this thought crosses my mind. I wish I knew how to control myself like Koushirou does.

But I don't feel like making eggs anyway. I _am_ too tired to bother with that, plus Koushirou probably isn't going to wake up for awhile. And no one likes cold eggs.

There's some fruit... A couple of apples. Nah, I don't feel like being healthy.

Then I see a loaf of bread. And for some reason, I feel like eating a slice.

I grab the end of its plastic wrap and shut the refrigerator door behind me. I unravel the twisty-tie and take out a slice of bread. Resting my elbows on the counter, I take a bite and watch light pour in through the windows and begin to brighten up the room.

I stand there mesmerized as I chew, thinking about Koushirou sleeping in the other room. I wonder when he's going to wake up. I could use some company. Everyone I know must be sleeping, unless Hikari is pulling another all-nighter by talking online with her friends (which she has done several times over). I have a soccer game later today, and I'm sure she and Koushirou will come watch me dominate again. Maybe Koushirou, Yamato, and I could go out for lunch afterwards like we did a couple of weeks ago. That would be cool. Hmm... This bread could use some butter...

I stop.

I just slept with a guy, which _completely_ goes against the rules of being straight, and I'm thinking about _bread?_

_YAGAMI TAICHI,_ my mind screams at me, _YOU JUST SLEPT WITH A GUY! HAS THAT NOT GOTTEN THROUGH THAT THICK HEAD OF YOURS?_

_Why_ is the magnitude of this just hitting me _now?_ This is _huge!_ This is...how could...oh my god...

What could Koushirou have been thinking when I told him that I wanted to? Shock? Disbelief? Complete and utter happiness? I can't even imagine... I... Oh god...

And I thought I was living a normal life. Ha! Not anymore. I used to be this normal guy, one of the billions of other normal people living in this world. I ate, slept, barely passed my classes, and played soccer. I was just another average person. Even saying that I'm a Chosen Child doesn't even count as being special anymore because so many people are getting Digimon. But this... Now I'm anything _but _normal!

And now I realize how much this is going to change my life... If I really want to be with Koushirou, it's going to be hard to keep it a secret. And I'm not good at keeping secrets anyway. (A lot of my friends have found this out the hard way...) I'm going to have to tell my mom, my dad, my sister, my friends...

How are they going to react?

Oh, no _wonder_ Koushirou never said anything! Homosexuality isn't exactly..._encouraged_. God, I wish... Why me? I don't want to deal with this, but I want to be with Koushirou!

Now I wish I was normal again. At least normal people don't have to face this kind of stuff. I mean, yeah, they have their everyday problems and it can get kind of old and boring after awhile, but at least they're not facing shit like this!

God, why me... Why me... Why, why, why...

Wait, I've felt this way before.

...In the Digital World.

I remember when I first got to the Digital World, I was looking around, seeing all of these crazy creatures, and wondering why I couldn't have just stayed and finished my nap in the tree at camp. Why me? Why did _I_ have to get dragged into this mess of evil, angel-killing, blood-sucking, bowling ball-like, Elvis-impersonating Digimon? Why not some other kid? I was just fine the way I was, thank you very much!

But at the end of it all... I was so thankful. I was so glad that I got to experience that... Unlock the true Courage inside of me, discover myself, strengthen myself... Gain new friendships, even if one was with a fire-breathing, orange dinosaur. And he's probably the best friend I've ever had...best Digimon friend anyway.

I can't imagine life without Digimon. Had I never been a Chosen Child...I don't even want to _know_ where I would be now.

So in the end...a bit of the unordinary ended-up being the best thing that ever happened to me. Me and the rest of the Chosen Children all around the world.

My bread slice is half-eaten. I stare at the bite-marks.

There are over 7 billion people in the world, 13 million in Tokyo alone. How many of them are guys like me, standing in their kitchens, eating a slice or bread after making love to their male lover, right now?

I _can't_ be the only one.

I'm not alone. I wasn't alone during the Digital World adventures, and I'm not alone now. I've got Koushirou with me, and I know that he and I are going to experience something that will end up being for the better in the end, no matter how strange and unpredictable it seems right now. I'd say that fighting Apokarimon was a lot more difficult than getting a few disgusted stares will be. And who cares, anyway? Koushirou loves me, and I _know_ that I will grow to love him.

And isn't that what life is all about? I've heard a million corny love songs about it anyway.

I finish eating the bread and decide that I'm not hungry anymore. The light is getting stronger now. I put the twisty-tie back onto the plastic and return the bread to the refrigerator.

And I re-enter Koushirou's room with renewed confidence...and renewed exhaustion.


	9. Samson's Second Return

_Samson's Second Return_

* * *

For the second time that morning, I crawl into the blankets on my futon. My body is finally convinced that yes, I actually _do_ need to sleep. However, it's still not convinced that it _is_ physically possible to be in the same room as Koushirou and _not_ look at him.

I turn around so I'm on my side, facing him again. Still sound asleep. As I watch him breathe, I can't help but think about how fast all of this went... Even just thinking about it makes me dizzy and confused. How did this happen?

Well, we had decided to hang out after school because Koushirou's parents were going on a vacation for a couple of days. Koushirou said that they trusted him to be responsible, blah, blah, blah. I tried to convince him to have a party, but he was so persistent about not having one that it was pointless to keep trying. He agreed that if some of the Chosen Children guys wanted to come over and hang out, then it would be okay, as long as we cleaned-up everything afterwards and tried not to break anything. Well, it was better than nothing.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?), Yamato had a band rehearsal as usual, Jou was studying (go figure), Iori had kendo practice, Daisuke was grounded, Ken was out with his family, and Takeru said that he was busy...which I later discovered was because he was hanging out with my sister. Hikari said that it wasn't a date, but I'm onto them...

Anyways, so it ended up being just Koushirou and me, which neither of us minded. (Well, now I _know_ he didn't mind.) We just hung out, went to that new arcade, grabbed something to eat, and headed down to the beach. We were out a _lot_ later than our parents would've wanted us to be, but we took advantage of Koushirou's parents not being home and my parents thinking I was over his house and not out wandering.

I hadn't had that much fun in a _long_ time, and sitting on the beach with the full moon in the sky was really relaxing. Then suddenly, I decided that we should go into the water, which isn't allowed. Koushirou was really hesitant at first, but since no one was around, he decided to do it.

We splashed each other for awhile and such, and once we were done laughing, I couldn't help but look at Koushirou...

And _that's_ when I felt weird.

He was looking back at me, hair and clothes dripping, a blissful smile, and happy eyes. And the full moon was right behind him... And just the way the moonlight was bouncing off of him... I can't explain it. It was like...like...here was this person who I knew so well, who I appreciated so much and confided in, who I really, really admired and cared for...and he was the most beautiful I'd ever seen him.

And I kept _staring_ at him like that, because the way he looked...it was impossible to look away. And I felt like I did around Sora, except it was so much stronger. It was as though at that moment...at that moment...

I guess...I almost want to say that I've _always _had feelings like that for Koushirou, but I never _recognized_ them until that moment. It had to take a moment like that to kind of slap me in the face and make me realize it. I realized how much I trusted him, admired him, how I'd do anything for him... I mean, he was a guy, so really, no wonder I never noticed it. I didn't think that I, Yagami Taichi, was able to like a guy that way. I guess he had to be presented to me as beautiful in order for me to see it.

And so I got scared...for obvious reasons.

He noticed. He kept looking at me with this concerned expression and asking me if I was okay. I'd always say that I was, but he knew I was lying. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. (Haha, 'cause Koushirou's a genius...okay, anyway.)

I guess he must've..._sensed_ what I was feeling. Because when we got to his house, that's when we started talking... And he finally admitted that something had been bothering _him_, too...which led to him confessing his feelings for me...coming out to me...and it was like...

_Whoa._

Everything was happening _way_ too fast. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't control what was happening...

Which probably was the reason I asked if I could kiss him...

I mean, I _had_ to see if these feelings for him were genuine! I've kissed other girls before... They were girls that showed-up to parties I've gone to, like parties my soccer teammates hold. It was nothing special. Kissing is nice, no doubt about it, but it never _meant_ anything to me.

So if kissing Koushirou felt weird, because I was kissing my best friend... Like, if it _felt_ like a test, then I would know that whatever I thought I was feeling for him wasn't real. But if it felt like...like the way it did, then I would have other thoughts.

And yeah. It just felt...right.

And _that's _when I saw a whole other side of Koushirou that I didn't know existed. But I'm not going to get into that...like I said before, just thinking about it would be bad.

So then I asked him to cut my hair and all. God, twenty-four hours ago, I would've _never_ thought that I would be lying here, de-virginized to a guy, almost all of my hair sitting on Koushirou's desk. And it's finally all hitting me in this exhilarating rush.

After everything that's happened... I _know_ I like Koushirou. Yeah, _that_ kind of like. Not love yet; I'm not _that_ rash, contrary to popular belief.

And I've decided that if anyone thinks otherwise, or if anyone gives a damn about it, they're going to be hearing from me. Oh yes, they're going to be hearing it _loud and clear_.

I'm not afraid of what my family and the other Chosen Children will say. In fact, I _know_ they'll accept me. Well, actually, I think my parents will be kind of shocked at first, but they won't kick me out or disown me or anything... My dad will probably take it harder than my mom, maybe go out and get drunk or something to take his mind off of it... He does that sometimes, although not as much as he used to. Hell, he came home drunk the night we all first saw Digimon at Hikarigaoka*. But my mom...she'll support me. And I _know_ Hikari will support me, too.

I wonder what the other Chosen Children will think... I think they'll all be pretty shocked, naturally, although like Yamato was saying a couple weeks ago, the idea of Koushirou being gay has been considered too many times for anyone to be _really_ surprised. But me? I'm sure _no one_ would have _ever_ thought that I'd like a guy...even just a _little_.

Yamato will probably be the most surprised. He and I have gone searching for hot chicks way too many times to count. But he'll probably shrug and say something like, "Do whatever the hell you want, Taichi." I imagine that Jou and Takeru will probably have a similar attitude. Sora will probably be confused because of the obvious crush I had on her, but she'll probably be relieved that she and Yamato can be together in peace...well, if she defines peace as being envied by pretty much every girl in Tokyo. Mimi-chan will probably flip out and be like, "AWWW! YOU AND KOUSHIROU-KUN ARE _SOOOOOO _CUTE!" or something really, really annoying like that. Miyako-chan will probably have a similar reaction. Iori...I have _no_ idea about that kid. None whatsoever. And Ken will probably simply wish us luck. As for Daisuke...I wonder what he's going to think when he finds out that his role model is gay (or bi, or whatever). Watch him go gay because I did...haha... Nah, he probably would've when he first met me (or at least pretended to, anyway), but he's starting to really take on his own personality.

But everyone else... I don't know. But I don't care. And I have a feeling that once they understand what it is to be as loved as I am, and to know that it's possible to return it... It's this amazing, inexplicable feeling that anyone should be able to experience. No matter their sexuality.

I know I'm going to be entering this strange, new, unfamiliar stage of my life now, and I'm ready to face it, Koushirou by my side. Just like in the Digital World, we'll evolve into this great and powerful force that can take on any opposing challenges. Courage isn't useful without the Knowledge on how to use it, and Knowledge is worthless unless there's Courage to put it good use!

...Alright, that's enough thinking. I'm ready to sleep.

* * *

_*Hikarigaoka is Highton View Terrace in the Japanese version._


	10. Forgotten :Koushirou's POV:

_Forgotten_

_**(The day before)**_

* * *

_In all of my years of schooling, I've never come across any extensive history on homosexuality. Homosexuals aren't really mentioned. They're kind of just skipped over._

I don't pay attention in history class. That's probably the last thing that one might expect from me, but I have absolutely no reason to listen to the old, hobbling man who attempts to teach. He limps from one side of the blackboard to the other, writing notes and reading monotonously from the textbook, the chapter being one that I had read two months before out of boredom and impatience. Sometimes it bothers me that Japan doesn't let students skip grades, because not only would I be much better suited in the grade above me, but there'd be a chance that I'd be in the same class as some of the Chosen Children as well. Well...probably not Taichi-san's, but it would definitely be easier to pass notes to him than to text him.

_School textbook companies must simply choose to ignore a part of history, and isn't it our duty, as students, to learn history?_

I'm lucky that I'm in the very back row, so he doesn't notice as I play around with my cell phone. But even if I sat front and center, he still probably wouldn't notice. But in the back it's much less conspicuous anyway, and everyone back there is always texting as well or falling asleep. At first, I think it was slightly strange for my other classmates to see me not paying attention and texting in the back of the classroom, but a brief explanation of how I had practically memorized what he was teaching two months before quickly diminished their curiosity.

_Why should we be denied the right to learn?_

Taichi-san is very lazy with his texting, which sometimes results in an incomprehensible mush, but I always stick with typing in whole words and using correct grammar so there's no misunderstanding. Plus, I don't want to feel like I'm getting sucked into the apathetic generation, which happens to be apathetic about correct Japanese. It's slightly annoying, but it's talking to Taichi-san.

_Maybe a part of the reason why homosexuality isn't very openly-accepted in Japanese society is because it's such an unfamiliar topic. __Sure, it becomes familiar through all of the anime and manga, but that doesn't make it seem _real._ Students need to understand that it is very, very real._

History is my first class of the day; his is math. I felt kind of bad after seeing his grade in math class after we started texting all the time, so I basically teach him the content every week so he won't fail at least (I gave up on trying to help him achieve As long ago). This is the only time that I agree to talk to him during a class; all of my other ones have teachers that would actually notice if I were texting.

He's the first one to send me a message this morning. I translate the gibberish into: "Hey, what's up?"

I respond back, my fingers embarrassingly flashing like a preteen girl's since I've collected practice throughout the year. "Absolutely nothing, as usual."

"Haha, yeah. Doing anything after school?"

My heart begins to beat a bit faster as I reply, "I was planning on working on a program that I'm writing, but I assume that you want to do something."

"Yep. Hang at your house?"

"Sounds fine. My parents won't be home. They're on a much-needed vacation."

The reaction is quick and blunt: "PARTY!"

"No way, Taichi-san, my parents would kill me."

"They don't have to find out."

"They trust me; I'm not even going to dare breaking that trust."

"Aw, come on. Do you know how much it would do for your social status if it turned out amazing?"

"When have I ever cared about that?"

"I'm just trying to help you out."

"I'm a responsible kid, unlike someone I know."

"I'm responsible!"

"Right."

"Well, what if we just invited the Chosen Children?"

"My parents would still kill me if they knew that I had girls over late at night." Not like I would do anything with them, anyway.

"No fun. Fine, how about just the guys?"

I sit back in my chair as I contemplate this. I'm not usually the one to throw parties. More often than not, we have them for the Chosen Children at the Yagamis', the Motomiyas', or sometimes even the Ichijoujis' when Ichijouji-kun is feeling particularly social. My parents probably would allow it if they were there to supervise, but no Chosen Child is actually someone to worry about. Well, except Mimi-san can be a little on the crazy side when she visits, and Daisuke-kun can be a bit of a troublemaker. If I call my parents, they probably wouldn't mind if a few of those guys came over...

_I wonder how both students and parents would react if there was more history of homosexuals taught in the classroom._

"Alright, just the guys."

"Awesome! We'll ask them at lunch and after school."

"Okay. Now why don't you pay attention in class for once?"

_Actually, I don't want to think about that. And it's sad that I don't want to._

"Psht, not a chance."


	11. Sin

_Sin_

* * *

I barely notice the school bell which indicates that first period is over. The blood pounding in my ears and throbbing in my head is almost loud enough to completely conceal the routine buzzing sound.

As though I really am a robot, my hands stuff my cell phone back into my pocket and I rise, bowing with the rest of the class as our history teachers exits the room.

I can't help but give a heavy sigh as I sit back down. I scan the room, watching as the students start chattering with one another as we wait for our next teacher to arrive. Sometimes a few of the students sitting around me will invite me to some small talk, but not today. Instead, I quietly observe the room and the various faces within it, realizing that the despite the fact that I have traversed through my schooling with the majority of these students, I barely know any of them. They are just faces, and to them, I am yet just another face…another face in the wave of other faces. But that's just it! People in their cars just seem like people in their cars; it's a common sight, to see traffic. The students here are just another a part of common scene in my life—it's almost as though they are additional pieces of furniture in this classroom. But, truly, each person has a story, a history, triumphs, faults. My story is of isolation, my history was stolen away by a car accident, my triumphs are my intelligence and victories in the Digital World, and my faults are my timidity, my passivity...

My homosexuality?

I suppose, after all of these years, I still haven't figured out whether or not homosexuality is truly a sin. I've acknowledged how much I love Taichi-san, I've accepted that I like someone of the same sex, but I haven't really decided whether or not I truly believe that it's a _sin_. Sure, I'm aware that many others _would_ view it as being so (my parents? my friends?), but I don't know what _I _believe. That is a problem.

I guess it doesn't really matter, whether or not I think it's sinful, because deciding that fact isn't going to change my feelings about Taichi-san. I just don't like being indecisive.

The thing is, though, how could a great love like this be _sinful?_ It feels so...pure. Okay, well, maybe not so much when I have those annoying little urges to get onto some certain websites, but heterosexual people do that as well. If they can be impure at some points and pure during others, then why is it that homosexuals are always impure? That doesn't seem logical to me.

Now that I think about it, I guess the only reason I really feel as though I _have_ to make a decision is because people in my society have labeled it as sinful. I mean, if people didn't point it out so openly, then it would just be accepted as any other thing. You don't come across too many people who think that watching TV or something along those lines is sinful. Now, things like that in excess may not necessarily be _good_, but they're not _sinful_. They're just _neutral_. And being heterosexual is kind of the same thing, in a way. It's not bad, but it's not _good_ because sexual desires are looked upon as sinful; it's just one of those things that's accepted because it's _common_.

And I guess that's really the point. If something is so common, if you see it every day, it's fine. It's normal. But homosexuality is something so _unusual_ that people don't know how to handle it. It's _not_ normal; therefore, it must be sinful. It sounds like fear of the unknown to me. Personally, I believe that certain widespread normalcies are sinful, such as gormandizing oneself or being wasteful. If some common things can be acceptable, then why can't some uncommon things be acceptable as well?

If homosexuality was more prevalent that heterosexuality, then I would completely understand why there would be some concern. Heterosexuality is _necessary_ to the survival of the human race. But homosexuality is uncommon enough that there really is no need to worry about any threat towards the method of keeping humanity alive. If there is no threat, then what exactly is the problem? It's just _weird?_ Well, I think that eating the backsides of cows is weird, yet millions of people do it every day. It's not a valid excuse.

So I guess I _don't_ think it's sinful. And call me biased, but I think that rationally, it's just not. I personally don't understand why people could honestly have a good reason to think otherwise. I know that some religions call it sinful, but past the fact that it's printed in their holy books, is there really any other way to justify the opposing viewpoint?

It's good to know that Taichi-san agrees with me. It's just that...the initial shock of hearing that _he_ is the object of my desires might make him temporary _irrational_. I guess if anything, I can hope that it would only be temporary.

But that's why I'm so fearful of his reaction...

I suddenly awake from my thoughts, surprised to find that the blackboard is already filled with answers to math problems. I must've gotten up and bowed to the next teacher without even thinking about it... I shake my head fervently and think to myself, _Izumi Koushirou, no wonder so many people think that you're a robot. _I smile to myself, knowing that it's mainly because of my intellectual speech and profundity in computers that make me seem like it, but this only helps it all the more. Maybe Vademon's invasion of my mind never completely wore off. At least I know that my curiosity is intact.

The teacher, Sakamoto-sensei, begins babbling answers of the previous night's homework—something I completed several weeks before, again, out of ennui. I slump down in my seat as I stare out the window, still a bit foggy from the fresh spring rain that morning, only to blink in surprise as I see that Taichi-san is on the blacktop.

I can't help but grumble to myself. How is anyone supposed to expect me not to be "sinful" if he is there _all the time?_ Even if someone tried to "cure" me from my "ailment," they'd have quite a bit of trouble doing so considering that Taichi-san is so involved in my life. But I'd go crazy without him.

So there's really no point in trying. I'd die if I didn't have Taichi-san. Okay, perhaps that's a gross exaggeration, but I think that I honestly _would_ end up becoming asexual; all feeling would be sucked away.

I peer down from the window as I observe his physical education class doing jumping jacks to warm-up. Taichi-san's hair flawlessly dances in the wind, as though the breeze is his comb, and my fingers itch to take its place. The time ticks away as the class proceeds to participate in other various aerobic activities, such as running laps, doing push-ups, and skipping rope. My muscles ache in dread simply by watching it. Most of the class looks apathetic about all of it, but of course, Taichi-san is completely immersed, indefatigable, his focus never wavering.

Towards the end of the class, Taichi-san is still running around the perimeter of the blacktop, even though most of the students are either walking or jogging. That's when he strips off his shirt, revealing skin shining with sweat. I swallow, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in my throat, but it's impossible. I see a few girls point to Taichi-san and giggle, and the teacher starts yelling at him, but I'm forced to stay locked up, bottled up, unable to show any sort of reaction.

Of course, the rest of my body has other plans…

I sink lower in my seat, almost whimpering to plead for mercy from the blood rushing to the space between my thighs. I feel absolutely humiliated, dirty, and, yes, even sinful to be so easily affected by such a sight. It's exactly what had happened the last time I had come to his apartment after he had been playing soccer. He had randomly stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, his hair dripping wet, and it took Hikari-san's friendly, yet sudden, "Hi!" to make my body come to its senses. But at least then I had a pillow to cover myself. I have nothing of the sort that won't seem obvious in class.

I try my very best to hide the lower half of my body, and I'm lucky to be seated next to the window, because most of the class is either nodding off or trying to discern the unintelligible gibberish of Sakamoto-sensei, so they don't pay me any attention. I try crossing my legs, but that only makes me feel girly; while I may be a homosexual, "girly" is not exactly a word that would describe me.

…Right?

I try to focus on the most disgusting images I can conjure, forcing myself not to bring my gaze back to the beautiful spectacle outside. _Rotten fish...Miko's litter box...Numemon...Taichi-san..._

Needless to say, _that_ is impossible.

My eyes are back on the fireball down on the pavement. He truly is a fireball—of energy, of speed, of light, of bliss, of Courage. I rest my head on my palm, completely ignoring the _growingly_ obvious fact that my body is not planning on complying with my wishes anytime soon, no matter how hard I will it. He is a dream. I must be dreaming. He is simply perfect. Absolutely, unquestionably, undeniably—

"Izumi!"

Jumping up to my feet and practically slamming my chair into the wall behind me, I reply, "Y-Yes, Sakamoto-sensei!?" I can feel all eyes focus on me. _Oh god, _I mourn to myself, _don't tell me he noticed. _Please_ don't tell me he noticed. And they're all staring at me... _ Luckily, at that moment, I realize that I'm back to normal. I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. Being frightened out of my mind always seems to do the trick.

"Yes, Izumi, err...would you mind explaining the answer to question number 84? I believe that you would do a far better job that I would."

I sigh heavily as I turn to the appropriate page of the book to explain the simple mathematical concept; it seems like the millionth time that year. After getting all of the students to understand it in the last five minutes of class, Sakamoto-sensei scratches the back of his head sheepishly and says, "Oh, yes, I was going to say something along those lines... Haha, lines, like transversals? Haha, get it?" The students simply roll their eyes. Sakamoto-sensei coughs awkwardly and continues, "Uh, well, anyway, thank you, Izumi."

I plop back down in my seat as he relays that night's assignment, and I begin to collect my belongings. I dare to glance back outside the window one last time only to find that the class—including Taichi-san—has left.

I sigh once more. He's so amazing, yet he makes me feel so sinful. But it's a feeling that _all_ human beings experience...

..._Not_ only homosexuals.


	12. Unmentionable

_Unmentionable_

* * *

I watch the clock helplessly for the rest of the morning, my lips still curved downward, humiliated by myself. I suppose I can't help but feel slight guilty; after all, I claim that I love him as much as I do, yet I have these lustful moments. I know that it's perfectly _normal_, but... I thought that love should be purely emotional, otherwise it's simply infatuation.

But I suppose I'm not really an expert on that particular subject.

By the time lunch comes around, I'm feeling just about ready to collapse in emotional exhaustion. Maybe I _do_ think too much. My conscience finally taking control of my body, I rush to the cafeteria, ready to secure my usual spot next to Taichi-san. But my quick steps result in me being first at the table, so I decide to wait for someone else to appear.

I smile and nod at Miyako-kun, who walks over, carrying a mound of books. She collapses in physical exhaustion as she drops them next to her seat. She looks up at me tiredly. She's in one of her "moods." This will be fun.

"I hope that your morning was better than mine," is her greeting.

I chuckle to myself and reply, "Not a chance."

"You're telling me that you had more than three giant exams?" She stares at me with wide eyes.

"Miyako-kun, you're lucky that you're in the A class of your year."

"And you aren't?"

"I would hardly call it the A class."

"Yeah," Miyako-kun sighs, "easy for you to say."

I'm glad that I don't have to go into detail about my morning, for I'm not prepared with any premeditated cover stories.

Sora-san arrives, acknowledges both me and Miyako-kun, and decides to go talk to a couple of friends on her tennis team a few tables over. I fidget as my stomach rumbles, begging for food, but my conscience has lost control again; my feet will not move until my Taichi-san is here.

Suddenly, I spot the bushel of brown hair from over the crowd, and the familiar sunny grin greets me. His hair is damp, so the spikes are slightly drooping, and I can't help but stare at him in all of his splendor.

"Hey there, Koushirou, how's it going?"

"I'm fine, Taichi-san. Why is your hair wet?"

"Oh, I got so sweaty in gym class that I decided to just hop in the shower. Wouldn't want to scare off all my admiring lady fans, eh?"

I force myself to smile as I reply, "Of course not." _You wouldn't scare me off, Taichi-san. Then again, I don't happen to be female. Although sometimes, I almost wish that I were._

He gives me a rather enthusiastic slap on the back, so much so that it almost knocks the wind out of me, and exclaims, "Now I don't know about you, but I'm hungrier than a Digimon at Christmas!"

I give a genuine laugh as I reply, "Alright then, let's get some lunch."

I follow my Taichi-san into the crowd and join the formulating line for food. Taichi-san stretches and tucks his hands behind his head.

"So have you asked anyone about tonight?"

I shake my head no. "I haven't had a chance. Remember, Taichi-san, that I'm in a lower grade than you and am the only Chosen Child in my class."

"Oh yeah, I always forget." He smiles and adds, "It's stupid how you can't just skip a grade. Then you might get in a class with one of us!"

My stomach rumbles a bit more than usual with the thought of additional opportunities to see Taichi-san. "Even if there were a way to skip grades, it would probably be very similar to _juku_, so then I'd end up seeing you _less_. That's what happened with Jou-san. I'd be so busy after school and on the weekends that my social life would be obliterated."

"What social life?"

"Very funny."

I grin helplessly at him as he laughs and rustles my hair.

"Hey! Don't do that! You'll make me look like a porcupine!"

"Gee, as far as I can recall, that's exactly what you looked like when I first met you..."

"Yes, which was six years ago."

He continues to rustle my hair as he chirps, "Aww, it's Koushirou the little porcupine!"

I flush in embarrassment as he not only teases me, but runs his finger though my increasingly messy hair. I'm almost inclined to think that he's _flirting_ with me...my heart flutters at that thought...but I come to my senses and remember that it's just _Taichi-san_.

I can feel several pairs of curious eyes on us. Ever since the return from the Digital World, there has always been speculation as to why Taichi-san – a soccer star – and I – a computer geek – are such good friends. In fact, all of the Chosen Children are so different from one another that many people often question how we came together in the first place. But we always shrug and simply say that it was fate. Technically, we're not lying.

We reach the trays and fill them up with food, Taichi-san grabbing twice the amount as I do.

"Your mom must have a heart attack when she realizes just how much money you spend on food."

Taichi-san just shrugs and states, "When I become famous, I'll pay her back!"

I raise an eyebrow in amusement. "Right. I'd like to see you follow through with that."

He looks at me with his face devoid of humor. "Koushirou, don't you trust me?"

I end up stuttering, "Well...I...of course I trust you, but...I..."

Taichi-san bursts into laughter and smiles apologetically. "I was just joking, Koushirou, don't get so worked-up about it."

My face turns pink again as I look away. I'm always worried about truly insulting Taichi-san, but then I end up looking like an idiot.

"Aww, it's all good, Koushirou, I'm sorry for making you feel awkward. We'll pay for our lunch and then hopefully the other guys can all come over tonight." His voice is gentle and comforting.

I smile shyly as I look up at him. I can't help but admire how he knows when to be humorous and when to be serious.

"Alright then, Taichi-san."

Taichi-san and I walk over to the table and sit down, Miyako-kun across from us. She still hasn't gone up to get food, for she is still sulking about her morning.

"Miyako-chan, come on, cheer up!" Taichi-san exclaims, starting to bite into a roll. "It's just school, you know. A couple of tests aren't going to matter in a couple of years."

"True, Taichi-san, but you have to make sure that you perform well on _several_ tests, not only a select _few_." I emphasize this almost teasingly, for that is something Taichi-san still has to learn.

He simply grins at me and replies, "Yeah? Well, when the _Nippon Daihyō_* discovers me, _then_ we'll see."

I sigh, amused, and shake my head. "Whatever you say, Taichi-san." I turn to Miyako-kun and say, "Miyako-kun, why don't you eat something?"

"I think I've lost my appetite," she laments gloomily.

"Aww, you have to eat something, Miyako-chan, or you'll regret it later." We turn around to see a smiling Sora-san with her tray. She hands an apple to Miyako-kun. "Here."

Miyako-kun gives a little moan as she sighs and places her forehead back on the table. "No thanks."

Sora-san sighs, still smiling, sets the apple in from of Miyako-kun, and sits on the other side of Taichi-san. "How's it going?" she asks him.

"Not bad," Taichi-san replies, already into his food. I sip some milk as he goes on to say, "Party at Koushirou's tonight."

My cheeks get hot as Sora-san exclaims, "Oh, cool! Can I come?"

"Nope," Taichi-san gives a mischievous grin. "Guys only."

Sora-san frowns, and I can't help but feel guilty about having to leave her out.

"My parents already wouldn't be crazy about having a party, especially without them being there, for they're out of town," I explain. "So if they found out that girls came, too, well...that wouldn't go over well with them." _Although_, I think to myself,_ if they knew how I felt about girls, then I wouldn't exactly have that problem..._

"So...you're doing this behind your parents' backs?" she questions slowly.

"No, I'm going to call them later tonight and just tell them that I want to invite some of the Chosen Children guys over. They should be fine with that, as long as they don't make a mess..." I glance over at Taichi-san, who holds up his hands innocently. "I'm sorry, Sora-san, I truly am, but-"

"That was about as far as I could convince him," Taichi-san finishes for me.

Sora-san laughs lightheartedly. "Koushirou-kun, I think Taichi's a bad influence on you." She turns to Taichi-san and jokes, "Stop corrupting him!"

_Maybe in some ways he is. But at the same time, he is beneficial for me. _"Perhaps." My lips curve into a small smile.

"Aww, but what would he do without me?"

_Good question._

Taichi-san grins and gets me into a small headlock, messing up my hair once again. I struggle to get away, crying, "Taichi-san! Taichi-san! Stop!" He laughs as I pull away, trying to tame my unruly hair.

Sora-san smiles broadly. "Oh, you two."

I blush faintly at her comment, but Taichi-san doesn't take it the way I do and goes on to say, "Well anyway, we better start figuring out if the guys can come, eh, Koushirou?"

"Oh, right." I nod as I futilely try to smooth down my hair. "Well, I already know that Jou-san stays late after school on Fridays."

"Like a loser," sneers Miyako-kun. It looks as though she's starting to reconsider Sora-san's apple.

I sigh. Doesn't look as though her mood is going to lighten up anytime soon. "Sora-san, do you know about Yamato-san?" He isn't in our lunch period.

"Yes, he has a band rehearsal, of course. I'll tell him that you thought of him, though."

"Oh, alright then. Thank you." I look at Miyako-kun again. "Miyako-kun, do you know what Iori-kun and Takeru-kun are doing tonight?"

"I know Iori has kendo," she replies, "but I don't know about Takeru-kun."

"Well," Taichi-san interjects, "I guess that leaves him, Daisuke, and Ken."

I nod. "I haven't had a good talk with Ichijouji-kun in awhile, and you can play soccer and basketball with Takeru-kun and Daisuke-kun."

"Sounds good. Still haven't seen Yamato since after that soccer game a couple weeks ago, though. That sucks."

"The band is taking up a lot of his time." Sora-san looks rather upset about it.

"Yeah, but he deserves all of the fame he's been getting," comments Miyako-kun, looking over towards us. "His music is really good."

"Stop before you sound too much like Jun," Taichi-san jokes.

"Or any of the other millions of stalker fan girls he has..." San-san adds exasperatingly.

Miyako-kun shrugs as she goes back to pouting. "Well jeez, it's not like you guys disagree."

I start to eat, feeling Taichi-san's eyes on me. I try to ignore it for a short while, but it's making me nervous, so I swallow and meet his gaze. "Can I...help you?"

He snaps out of his trance. "Huh?"

"You..." I shift uncomfortably, and my face feels a little hot. "You...were staring...at me..."

"Oh, sorry," he apologizes. "I was just thinking about when I first met you and stuff."

"You mean when I utterly embarrassed myself at that soccer club?"

Taichi-san laughs. "Hey, if you hadn't completely sucked at soccer, I wouldn't have ever walked over!"

I smile sheepishly, glad that he still remembers. "Well, if you put it that way..."

"And that's how I met Sora, too," he adds happily, grinning at her. "Funny how things work out, huh?"

My stomach lurches again, this time in jealousy as he looks at her. It's never at rest; if he's looking at me, it goes ballistic, but if he's looking at someone else, it still goes crazy with envy. I sigh as I resume eating, trying to tune out their conversation. I notice that Miyako-kun has started eating Sora-san's apple.

"...Koushirou looks like he did back then?"

My ears perk up at the sound of my name, and that's when I notice that Taichi-san and Sora-san are starting at me. Actually, they're staring at my hair.

"It's still messed-up, isn't it?"

"Six years ago, you wouldn't have called it 'messed-up,'" Sora-san points out.

I make a face as I try to flatten it again.

"Don't!" Taichi-san suddenly cries, making the rest of the table glance towards us. "Sorry, but it's good to relive those memories."

"People are going to think I look strange," I can't help but mumble.

"But back then-"

"Well, _now_ I think they will."

They pause for a moment as they look at me. "I never thought that you cared about other people's opinions that much, Koushirou-kun," Sora-san comments.

_Does she know me at _all? "Well..." I stare at my half-eaten food. "I guess..."

"Koushirou, be whoever you want to be!" Taichi-san exclaims, striking a majestic pose. "Don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks! You're you, and we're always going to love you for that!"

_Love me, huh?_ I think to myself glumly. _If only you knew. Then what would you say?_

"Taichi's right, Koushirou-kun," Sora-san agrees.

I raise an eyebrow as I look up. "That doesn't change the fact that I absolutely abhor this hairstyle at the present time."

"Aww, well, do it for me," Taichi-san pleads playfully, reaching over and tousling my hair even more. I let his hand linger for a moment before I push him away. I pout, for I truly would like to put the past behind me, but if it's for Taichi-san...

He's gone back to chatting with Sora-san. I no longer have any appetite, so I slide my tray over to Miyako-kun, who's finished the apple. She actually gives me a small smile and thanks me as though she had never considered going without eating in the first place.

I sit there for the rest of the period as I let my world spin around me, or more or less, around Taichi-san. He talks with Sora-san for awhile but then gets drawn into conversation with a few soccer teammates who walk over. I simply continue to try flattening my hair, but without a comb, it's impossible. Instead, I decide to stare at the cracks in the table and trace then with my finger, pushing away the action ensuing outside of my brain. I rest my head in the palm of my hand lazily. I can feel Taichi-san and Sora-san look over at me every so often, and I can't help but look up at them as well, but they always simply resume conversing. They have no idea what's going through my head. I bet it's never even crossed their _minds_.

I glance towards the clock after awhile, noticing that it's nearing the end of the lunch period. Miyako-kun has finished eating my food and has decided to work on other schoolwork. I smile and shake my head as I take back my tray and walk up to the trash cans, and I get a few jealous stares from some of the girls who admire Taichi-san. I've often heard whispers about how they're not only incredulous that Taichi-san would be friendly with someone so "lowly" as me, but they also wonder why I hang around him as well. After all, wouldn't I be more interested in talking about computers with the geekier kids? My fists clench as I throw away my trash and set my tray on the top of a pile waiting to be cleaned. If only _they_ knew.

I start to head back to the table when I notice that Taichi-san and Sora-san are in deep conversation. That's when I hear my name.

I grumble to myself as I dart behind where the wall jets out temporarily, hoping they won't notice that I'm trying to eavesdrop, for their backs are facing me. I focus on their voices and tune out the background noise, trying to hear the conversation that concerns me.

"...He seems to be really down," I hear Sora-san say.

"Yeah, I noticed," Taichi-san murmurs back. "I don't know why."

"He keeps looking at us," Sora-san continues, "like he's mad or something."

"I don't think he's _mad_," Taichi-san ponders, "just...I don't know. But not mad."

"I guess," Sora-san sighs, shaking her head. "I worry about him sometimes, though. It really does seem like something's troubling him."

"I know what you mean," Taichi-san replies, nodding solemnly.

"It just seems like he's keeping something really deep down inside and isn't letting it out, even though he really should."

Taichi-san chews on this for a moment. My heart starts racing, as I can't help but be a bit nervous about where the conversation is heading. "Now that I think about it...that's exactly what it is. He always seems that have that kind of _look_ to him, but I can never figure out why. What do you think it could be?"

"I don't really know," Sora-san admits. "Maybe he's having trouble at home. Or maybe something's up with Tentomon. Or it could just be mood swings-"

"Sora, guys don't get PMS."

"Yeah, but everyone gets cranky. In fact, I can think of several instances when you-"

"Okay, okay," Taichi-san concedes quickly. "Maybe."

"Whatever it is," Sora-san continues, "I hope he talks to someone about it."

"Yeah," Taichi-san agrees, "maybe I'll try talking to him tonight. I hate seeing him all down like this."

My heart jumps a little bit in anxiety. _Great,_ I groan to myself, _better start formulating a really convincing excuse._

He then looks around. "Where is he anyway?"

"Probably went to the bathroom or something," Sora-san guesses.

It's almost humorous to me, considering that the assumptions that they've concocted are nowhere _near_ the correct answer. I'm relieved, but I can't help but think about Sora-san's words. Yes, keeping this secret inside of me for so long has been difficult, and hiding such things from Taichi-san devastates me. I suppose I'm slightly hypocritical, since I don't like Taichi-san keeping such secrets from me, yet I keep mine from him. But at the same time, it's _impossible_ to deny that if I _did_ reveal how I felt about him, it would inevitably change our friendship. And our friendship is already too wonderful for me to throw it away.

They move on to a different subject, so that's when I decide to walk out from behind the wall and rejoin them at the table.

"Sorry," I apologize, "I had to use the restroom."

"Oh, okay, we were wondering where you were," Sora-san says. Just then, the bell to dismiss us for the second half of the day rings throughout the school.

I quickly gather my belongings and head towards the door where other students are dispersing, still feeling a bit downcast. Taichi-san has barely said anything to me, and a feeling of disappointment washes over me. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder, so I turn around.

It's Taichi-san.

"Hey, Koushirou! You didn't talk much at lunch. What's up?"

"Nothing," I reply automatically, looking away. "I guess I just don't feel very talkative today."

It's a blatant lie, but Taichi-san decides not to press the matter further. "Well, alright. I'll see you after school, okay?" He looks at me with a concerned expression, and my half-empty stomach reminds me of the real reason – jealousy – making me feel guilty about hiding my feelings even more. But I know it's for the best.

"Of course," I answer back, giving him a smile. "Maybe I'll keep my hair like this for later, if you really want me to."

"Nah, if you really don't like it, you do whatever. It was nice to reminisce, you know? Well, Morioka-sensei flips a shit if anyone's late, so see you, Kou!" He waves back at me as he joins the after-lunch rush, a giant grin on his glowing face.

I can't help but blush as I gaze after him.

_He called me "Kou"..._

I stand there for a few more blissful moments before coming to my senses, shaking my head furiously.

I sigh._ It's amazing how he can make me miserable one moment, then exuberantly happy the next._

I chuckle to myself, incredulous and amused at my own bizarre, roller coaster ride of emotions.

Maybe Sora-san was partially right about the mood swings.

* * *

*The national Japanese soccer team


	13. Bittersweet

_Bittersweet_

* * *

I'm walking on air for the rest of the day, living as though I'm in a dream, waltzing though my schoolwork like it's – somehow – become a flowing kind of dance. My smile is wide, for my Taichi-san's face keeps appearing in my mind...

"_...see you, Kou!"_

I'm still...almost _high_ from that. It's not like it's a big deal or anything. I mean, otou-san has called me "Kou" once or twice. But never Taichi-san. For all I know, he could've been in such a rush that he was too hurried to even say my whole name. Or maybe he was too lazy. Or maybe it's his new nickname for me. Or maybe...a sobriquet?

All I know is that if I come up with anymore "or maybes," my head is going to explode.

I'm starting to get that fluttery feeling in my stomach. I'm excited about tonight, but I can't help but feel a bit apprehensive...

"_...maybe I'll try talking to him tonight."_

Oh, right. I need a pretext. Well, let's see, computer trouble? No, I've never been _sad_ about such a thing before. Stressed, yes, but never crestfallen. If I say family trouble, he might bring up something to okaa-san at some point – he's practically her second son. That would be embarrassing for me, and it'd only get me in a deeper predicament, having to explain why I lied to _both_ of them.

Unless I actually _did_ say mood swings...

Taichi-san isn't the kind of person to take things lightly. If he can sense that I'm making up some sort of excuse (given, that isn't often, but it happens), he won't leave me alone about it until I tell him the truth. Granted, I've never had a situation such as this, especially with a secret of such magnitude, but I know that this evening is definitely going to be troublesome unless I have a plan and execute it well.

The final bell rings before I can ponder the subject any further, and I practically jump up from my desk, gathering my books in my arms and rushing out the door to my locker.

Taichi-san is already waiting there, leaning against the locker next to mine and looking slightly impatient. My grip tightens around my books as my heart's pace quickens. I force my shaking hand to place the key into the lock, having some trouble, for my trembling doesn't help.

"Having some trouble with your _keyhole?_" Taichi-san asks matter-of-factly.

I blush bright red. "You mean that literally, I hope."

Taichi-san grins. "You have a dirtier mind than people would think."

I relax a bit as we begin to joke around, and I get my locker open.

"Got it in! And you _pulled out_ your key so quickly!" He continues the sexual innuendo, but I fight to control my red cheeks.

"But," I hear myself reply, "it did its job." Yeah, I must be crazy.

Taichi-san laughs. "True. Anyways, ready to go?"

"Almost." I toss my books into my locker except for one, which I tuck under my arm. I start to close the metal door when Taichi-san stops me, snatches the book, and throws it into my locker with my other things. I stare at him.

"What was the purpose of that?"

"Take a break, Kou, you work too hard."

I blush at his new nickname for me. "It's just for a few questions on a chemistry lab."

"Yeah, which you can totally do before class starts," he swiftly replies, dismissing it with the wave of his hand. "I need to teach you the amazing ways of the procrastinator. You'll thank me later."

"Really?" I inquire, preparing myself for Taichi-san's strange logic.

"Well, yeah!" He begins, starting to walk away. I still get the science book back from my locker and slam it shut, then locking it. I catch up to him, and he's already begun his rant.

"...I mean, don't you hate it when you go over-the-top on something and then someone who didn't work _half_ as hard as you gets the same grade?"

I nod. I'm quite familiar with that situation, but it's never really bothered me.

"Well, that straight-up pisses me off! I remember back in elementary school, we had to do a show-and-tell on our favorite thing to do. So I got dressed-up in my soccer uniform and practiced tricks for _ages_ so I wouldn't look dumb. And then I kicked ass and got a 100 percent. Then some chick just brings in some stupid doll and gets the same grade." He pauses for breath. "I never overachieved on anything _ever_ again."

I burst into laughter, unable to control myself. Oh, my _Taichi-san_.

"What!?" he exclaims, putting on a pout. "It's true!"

"It's just that you _would_, Taichi-san," I manage to gasp, calming down.

"So? Any sane person would!"

"I wouldn't place you under the category of 'sane.'" Although at this point, I wouldn't do the same for myself either.

"Gee, thanks a lot." He grins at me.

I grin back. "Anytime. But seriously, Taichi-san, why do you think that you overachieved in the first place?"

"Like I remember." He pushes open the front door of the school and we step outside. We start heading in the direction of the junior high, which isn't too far away. Ichijouji-kun will be with Daisuke-kun, for he always takes a bus straight to the Odaiba Junior High to meet him after school ends every Friday. Although, that means they probably already have plans...

And that would only leave Takeru-kun.

I look at Taichi-san and continue the conversation. "Well, you still loved soccer back then, yes?"

"Duh."

"See, it was something you were passionate about, so you automatically felt the urge to go over-the-top. It's okay to overachieve once in awhile, especially if you're passionate about the subject matter."

"Now, see, I can totally see that with you and computers and stuff, but there's just one problem..." He pauses for effect. "There's _nothing_ in school that I'm passionate about."

I laugh. "You seemed rather passionate about gym class today."

"Huh?"

My face flares up. _Way to dig a hole for yourself!_ "Well, I, um... You said that you ran so hard that you had to shower..."

"Oh," Taichi-san replies, his confusion lifted off of his face. I exhale in relief. "Well, I just felt like running."

"Sure."

"What!? Seriously, I did! You think I was trying to suck-up to crazy old lady Hayashi!?"

I start laughing again. "I'm kidding, Taichi-san, don't worry." I sigh. "It's beside the point, the point being that there's nothing wrong with overachieving."

"All I know is that I must've been fuckin' crazy back in elementary school."

I roll my eyes. "And you haven't changed much. I thought we just established this."

"Screw you, man."

"Really? You would?" I ask with a bit of hope in my voice.

Then silence.

I panic. _Oh god, I did not just say that... Please tell me I did not just say that..._

He bursts out laughing, much to my relief. "Koushirou, right here, right now."

I notice that my expectant blush darkens. "Well, if you're into that sort of thing..."

"You know me." He winks.

I manage to give a small smile. "Yes, but I never thought you to be much of an exhibitionist."

"Hey, I'd try anything once."

I peek over at him. "Really? _Anything?_" I try to sound more sarcastic than curious...or _extremely_ interested.

"Having sex in public? Well," he laughs, "if it was around a bunch of people I'd never see again, maybe. I'd probably have some trouble finding a chick who'd do it, though..."

"That's...not what I meant..." I look away again.

There's a pause, probably indicating confusion on his part. "Oh. What did you mean, then?"

"Never mind, it's not important." _How did I get myself into this?_

"No, you can tell me..." He trails off for a moment before: "_Oh._"

_Ugh, great._

"I don't know... I've never really thought about it."

_Well, at least he didn't say no..._

"What about you?"

I keep looking away, even though I can feel his eyes on me.

"I don't know either."

"Oh."

...

Well, this is awkward.

Luckily, our stiff silence doesn't last too long, for we're approaching the junior high. The bell rings and a few short seconds later, students burst out of the front doors, anxiously looking forward to the weekend.

That's when I notice Ichijouji-kun sitting on the bar of a broken bike rack.

We walk up behind him, and he still hasn't noticed us. Taichi-san gives me a mischievous grin, and I nod, smiling in understanding. He tiptoes closer to Ichijouji-kun and goes, "ROOOOOOAR!"

Not even moving a muscle, not even flinching a bit, Ichijouji-kun calmly turns around with an amused smile plastered on his face. "I could hear you, you know."

"God damn it!" Taichi-san curses. "You're not supposed to still have super-psycho powers!"

Ichijouji-kun's grin evolves into a sly one. "I don't. I just happened to hear you guys before you decided to sneak up on me."

"Aww, man!" Taichi-san laughs, though. "Why didn't you warn me, Kou?"

He seems to be using that nickname an awful lot... Why so suddenly? "Eh, I just wanted to let you have your fun."

"Screw-" He stops. "You suck, man."

"Still implies a sexual innuendo, but I suppose it's better than what you were going to say."

"Is it sad that I couldn't think of any insult that _didn't_ have one and _not_ sound lame?"

"'You're ignominious.'"

"...I think I'll stick with, 'You suck.'"

We all laugh as Daisuke-kun comes bounding down the front steps, followed closely by Takeru-kun and Iori-kun.

"Hey! Taichi-senpai! Koushirou! What's up?"

"Not much," Taichi-san replies, giving Daisuke-kun a nod.

"I don't believe you," Takeru-kun comments, sounding serious, but his smile suggests otherwise.

"Oh, come on, is _everyone_ against me today or something!? It's the typical answer, give me a break!"

Everyone laughs again before I give the real answer to Daisuke-kun's question. "Actually, Daisuke-kun, we were going to invite all of the Chosen guys to a party at my house, and we heard that you, Ichijouji-kun, and Takeru-kun were the only ones who might be able to come."

"Yeah, I have kendo," Iori-kun acknowledges.

"Aww, man! I'm friggin' grounded!" Daisuke-kun laments, pouting.

"Man, that sucks," Taichi-san agrees. "But wait a minute, if you're grounded, why is Ken here?"

"We're going to take the long way back to my house." Daisuke-kun grins. "It's a tradition, man! Can't break tradition 'cause your parents decided to be assholes!"

Ichijouji-kun smiles and adds, "I have some extended family visiting tonight anyway, so I have to be home by 5 to greet and have dinner with them."

"Oh." Both Taichi-san and I turn towards Takeru-kun. "What about you, Takeru-kun?"

"Sorry guys, I have plans, too."

"Well," Taichi-san turns to me, "looks like it's just us."

"Yeah," I reply, a little breathy.

_Just us._


	14. Claimed

_Claimed_

* * *

It wasn't always just us. It didn't even start with it being just us. Without Sora-san, there never would've been our "inseparable trio" at the soccer club. Really, it had been that way in the first place.

I think I know why Taichi-san was so drawn to her. Well, for one thing, there was no doubt that Sora-san was – and still is – an attractive girl. That, of course, was probably the main reason initially, considering I witnessed the moment that he laid eyes on her and how physically drawn he was to her. Not to mention that I had my own similar experience. This obvious factor, I think, went hand-in-hand with the fact that she was at the _boys'_ soccer club. A pretty girl who was really good at soccer? This was, without a doubt, 11-year-old Taichi-san's idea of the "perfect match."

At first, they became best friends, always sticking together, laughing together, whispering together, even after the soccer club ended. I didn't really get to truly know Taichi-san until the time spent in the Digital World, but he and Sora-san? They began those adventures already having a kind of companionship. It was no wonder, really; Taichi-san has always been enthusiastic about things he's passionate about. The items under that category throughout the time that I've known him have been playing soccer, protecting Hikari-san, being with best friends, saving the world, and Sora-san. Of course, saving the world has quite more magnitude (okay, that's an understatement), but the fact that he placed Sora-san on the same level... That says a lot. I'm not criticizing this, for I'd be nothing more than a hypocrite if I did, but it's simply proof of how much he really cared about her. I don't know if that still holds true today (to be honest, I really doubt it...at least, I hope that's the case), but of course, once I realized my feelings for him, it invoked a great sense of jealousy in me. Not to mention that it didn't help my sense of inferiority. I felt – and still feel – that it was impossible for such a person such as Taichi-san to ever see something in me. With Sora-san, well, she would be the first candidate.

Although I was jealous out of my mind of Sora-san, I still greatly respected her and considered her my friend. Of course, I still do. But it's not as though I could help that underlying envy.

When I first arrived at that summer camp, I saw how she and Taichi-san's friendship had blossomed while I had isolated myself. I suppose I didn't help the situation by retreating into my computer while I was there, occasionally eyeing Taichi-san's carefree nature from afar. I guess I was being stubborn.

While in the Digital World, this friendship between Taichi-san and Sora-san continued to evolve, but this time, I came into the equation. It wasn't the time to be shy, and I refused to let my taciturnity get in the way of what was important: At first, I tried to figure out how to return home, then tried to help everyone survive, and finally helped defeat the dark enemies of the Digital and real worlds. But I digress.

Anyway, I suppose the first real wake-up call to the jealousy I was harboring was the situation involving Nanomon's kidnapping of Sora-san in the upside-down pyramid. There was no doubt that we all took this hard, but Taichi-san... He took it the worst. To watch him cry over Sora-san... It made me think to myself, _Would he cry like that over _me_?_ And really, now that I look back on it, I _wanted_ him to. I wanted to be special enough to be worth Taichi-san's tears. I wanted to be worth something to _him_. I guess, in a way, I wanted to be Sora-san.

I won't forget how rash Taichi-san was the first time going into that pyramid and then how scared he was the second. But the fact that he trusted me... That cured the jealousy a lot. I got the fulfilling feeling I had been looking for... I knew that somewhere in his heart, Taichi-san had a place for me, and even if it wasn't on the level of Sora-san's, it was a sense of _trust_. And at the time, that was sufficient.

When he disappeared for all of that time in the Digital World – only hours when he was in the real world – I couldn't help but feel a sense of hatred towards Sora-san. Taichi-san had performed those brave actions to save and protect _her_, and because of it, he had disappeared. Deep down, I knew that it wasn't Sora-san's fault, but again, that feeling of jealousy inside of me caused me to think such thoughts. And of course, naturally, I felt rather devastated at the sudden departure of Taichi-san. I tried to focus on other things to distract me, such as seeking more answers to my questions about the Digital World. Not only did I go off with Tentomon to find Gennai-san so he could answer those questions, but I was also crossing my fingers, hoping that perhaps he knew what had happened to Taichi-san.

Of course, by chance, when all of us were reunited, Sora-san was having trouble getting her crest of Love to glow. Learning about her troubled past made me not only gain a new respect for her, but it also explained a lot.

Sora-san had never really understood love. She initially began having very different interests from her mother, primarily soccer, and the fact that her mother would not accept this side of her made her feel upset and misunderstood. This probably led to some kind of defiance of her mother, which of course led into her being the tomboy that we all knew her to be. Perhaps the lack of a father figure played into it as well, for her father was always busy being a college professor, so he was rarely ever home.

Sora-san was seeking someone who understood her, so along came Taichi-san. There was no denying that they were incredibly alike in terms of interests, and well, they could both be quite stubborn and impulsive. Taichi-san was the very first person to whom Sora-san could relate, and that of course, was followed by feelings of admiration and attraction. Why of course, the very person who reflects her personality _must_ be "the one!" Taichi-san was almost like her salvation, her conviction that she was right and her mother was wrong, and she found solace and comfort in this.

So it was no wonder that I caught her stealing sideway glances at Taichi-san every so often. She always looked up to him, and the fact that she was the first to go look for Taichi-san herself, well... She cared for him a lot. I think a lot of times I felt a sort of competition with her, but of course, I never acted on it.

However, after she realized that he mother really did love her and was simply concerned for her well-being, _everything_ changed. It was a slow process, but by the time the new generation of Chosen Children came around, Sora-san was a completely different person.

First of all, she found a way to connect with her mother. She agreed to start learning about flower arrangement and started playing tennis – both of which were activities her mother enjoyed. Because she was finally able to look up to her mother, she was able to shed that pre-adolescent tomboy and evolve into gracefulness. I think the reason she got so angry at Taichi-san over that hair clip was because perhaps she thought that he was trying to tell her that she _wasn't_ being girly enough. (Taichi-san, of course, had no intention of insulting her and only meant to please her.) It was after that "incident" that Sora-san really began showing more of her feminine side.

Since she finally understood herself, she didn't need Taichi-san as support for her rebellion against her mother because she didn't believe in it anymore. And after the Digital World adventures, they kind of drifted, probably because of this very reason. Sure, they were still alike in many ways and were still friends, but they didn't have that _connection_ anymore.

Instead, my wish was fulfilled, and I took her place. Taichi-san and I became good friends, which of course made me the default person for him to rant about Sora-san. I won't forget all of those soliloquies which glorified her beauty, her personality, her kindness, her Love. And I listened, pretending it was me that he was describing, curling up in a ball on my computer chair and swiveling back and forth a little. _I am beautiful, I am likeable, I am kind, I am Love. _But words only become so repetitive before it's impossible to pretend anymore. I'd finally look up at him after so many years of this and notice that he was in his own dream world – the bliss on his face at the very thought of her. _I want that to be me... I want him to smile like that at the thought of _me_._

It was only after Sora-san rejected his invitation to Yamato-san's concert that he almost completely ceased talking about her. I think it was out of respect for both her and Yamato-san, who was still one of his closest friends. He had told me that he was planning to do it, and I had no choice but to encourage him. I didn't want to see him downtrodden, but my gut told me that any mutual feelings Sora-san may have held for him had faded away. So really, I guess.... I had ulterior motives when I told Taichi-san to "go for it." Sure, I wanted him to be happy, but...at the same time, I wanted him to myself.

Now I didn't say _for_ myself. I had accepted long before then the fact that he was as straight as an arrow. But I knew that if he and Sora-san got together, all of the attention would be on her, and I would inevitably become "the third wheel." Besides, he would probably spend the majority of our get-togethers talking even _more_ about her anyways. So yes, I admit, I did it partially for selfish reasons, for I cannot stand that uncontrollable pang of jealousy. Yet at the same time, I thought it was time for Taichi-san's wake-up call – that Sora-san was _not_ "the one."

I'll admit that I was surprised when Yamato-san and Sora-san got together. But really, after I thought about it, it made sense. Yamato-san and Sora-san are both _nurturers_. They both care immensely about the people they love, and this is immortalized in their respective crests. As they've grown older, they've grown much more alike, and while they do have their moments, they've also become much more subdued than when I first met them. Taichi-san has also never really experienced the kind of darkness that they've suffered. They helped each other through that, and I think that really helped them bond on a much deeper level than Sora-san and Taichi-san ever did. Sora-san and Taichi-san have a kind of bond that gives them a great friendship, but Sora-san and Yamato-san... They're different. I believe that their personalities match extremely well, and their lasting relationship is proof of that.

Even after all of that, his feelings still endured for awhile. Like I said, I don't know if they have to the present time. But I suppose that since I've become such good friends with Taichi-san, I've been feeling as though, well...that I deserve him more than Sora-san. Not because I'm "better" than her or anything, but... I mean, here I am, arms open wide, smile broad, completely prepared to accept his love, yet I cannot even be considered as a potential match. I know there's nothing I can do to change that, but, well, it's frustrating sometimes! I know it's selfish, I know it's out of my hands, but... I've been there for him all of these years, through everything we've ever endured. I recognized his greatness first, I admired him first, I believed in him first, I fell for him first...

Taichi-san, _I loved you first._


	15. Starlight

_Starlight_

* * *

We bid goodbye to the junior high kids and start walking towards my house, avoiding the rush of other restless and impatient adolescents. One pushes Taichi-san aside as he zooms by, and Taichi-san stares at him in disbelief for a moment before shouting, "HEY! Watch where you're going!" I smile up at him in joy. The mid-afternoon sun is blaring over our heads, and I almost feel like running, shouting, jumping into the air and soaring on the light breeze.

A night alone with Taichi-san!

These aren't rare or anything, but... I can't help but almost celebrate when I can have Taichi-san to myself!

"I feel..." I hear myself start to say, although I don't recall commanding my mouth to say it.

"You feel what?" Taichi-san asks.

"I feel... I feel like running."

The next thing I know, I'm staring at Taichi-san's back, surrounded by the sea of people, watching him speed ahead of me. He stops at the crosswalk ahead, gives me a grin, and calls, "I thought _you_ were the one who wanted to run!"

I smile back sheepishly and sigh, for I had not at all been planning to turn this into a race. But of course, Taichi-san would.

When he sees me break into a sprint, he's off again, turning into that wave of brown I've become accustomed to seeing on the soccer field. He zooms ahead of me, and eventually, I lose sight of him amongst the typical crowd of Odaiba. It thickens quickly, and I find myself almost squeezing through groups of people, muttering "_gomen nasai_" to every which way, and enduring harsh and disapproving glares. I stop at a crosswalk whose signal is red and stand on my tiptoes, trying to stretch my neck over the crowd. But of course, that's no help. Height isn't exactly my forte.

When the light turns green, I'm off again, and luckily, I'm able to run without interruption almost the rest of the way to my apartment...until I'm panting so hard I have to lean on a wall and catch my breath. I can feel my heart beating hard; I haven't run this much in a long time. I look ahead and notice that I'm only a couple blocks away from the "finish line." Gathering my strength, I start running again, and within a few minutes, I'm in view of Taichi-san, who's leaning against the front door with a smirk on his face.

"Jeez, Koushirou," he jokes when I approach, "I've been waiting for like an hour or something."

"We haven't even been running that long," I manage to reply, panting, yet smiling at the same time.

"Well, sure seems like it," he teases, punching my shoulder lightly.

I don't answer a second time so I can catch my breath again, but I have to admit that it _had_ felt good to run.

"Now whatcha standin' around for? I'm starving, and your kitchen is begging me to invade it!"

I give a breathy laugh as I fish my house key out of my pocket. "Alright, alright. I know my parents left me some money in case I wanted anything else not in the house."

"Really?" Taichi-san responds excitedly. "Pizza?"

"We always order pizza," I point out. "How about something different for a change?" Quite frankly, I'm sick of pizza and am downright not in the mood for it. "Besides," I add as I open the door, "like I said, we have stuff in the kitchen."

"But your mom isn't here to make those kickass _gyoza_*!" Taichi-san whines. "Nothing in your house is better than that."

"Better than pizza."

"We'll see about that."

We grin at each other.

Shoes off, we head towards the kitchen, and Taichi-san immediately dives into the pantry and refrigerator. I simply sit down at the table and watch, head nested in my palms, as he goes about being Taichi-san.

I watch him swallow bite after bite of leftover sushi, a few snacks, and plain old rice. We don't have much else, I realize. No wonder my parents left me money.

"This is all you got?" he demands, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Taichi-san. I thought we had more than that."

"It's cool. We'll just get something else later. So whatcha wanna do?"

I shrug. I haven't really thought about it. I'm just happy that I'm with him. "I'm up for anything."

"I hate it when you say that." He smiles.

"Why?"

"'Cause then I'm always the one who has to pick!"

"You're complaining?"

"When I can't think of anything, yeah."

I roll my eyes in amusement.

"I could always beat your ass at video games," he suggests.

"Last time I checked, I'm usually the one who beats _yours_." I smirk.

"Yeah, well..." he pauses, searching for a comeback, "Well, that's going to change!"

I laugh. "That's what you always say. Don't you remember? I left my games at your apartment so you could practice."

"Oh _yeah_!" He then gives me a sheepish expression, trying to look innocent. "I haven't exactly gotten around to that..."

"Then how do you ever expect to beat me?"

"I've been...too busy studying..."

"_Right._"

We continue to grin at each other.

"Well," I continue, "I most certainly don't mind hanging out at your apartment if you want to."

"Alright, sure. I kind of want to get out of these clothes anyway." He looks down at his school uniform.

"Y-yeah," I agree, noting that my own don't smell that great after running. "I guess I'll change and then we can go."

"Bring the money with you."

"Sounds good."

I go into my room and open my closet doors, surveying my clothes. As I pick out a shirt and shorts, I hear footsteps behind me, and when I turn around I find Taichi-san walking over to sit at my computer.

"Uh, I'm, um, changing..."

"I know. I decided to check my email while I was waiting."

I shift uncomfortably, holding my clothes at my side.

"Oh, come on, Kou!" he teases. "We've known each other for how long? Six years? Dude, it's totally cool. Hell, don't you remember? We even bathed together once!"

He just _had_ to bring that up...

"You this uncomfortable in the locker rooms?"

"Yeah..." I squeak. Being surrounded by half-naked guys is the _last_ thing I need.

He stares at me for a minute. "You're weird."

"Thanks." I think my face is going to burn to a crisp. I can't even look at him.

He sits there for a few more moments before he gets up and leaves with a shrug. "Whatever, Kou."

I exhale sharply. Wow, I didn't even realize I've been holding my breath. I shut my door and sigh. He's going to be wondering now...

I change as fast as I can and put my wallet and keys into my shorts pocket. When I walk into the kitchen, Taichi-san is staring out the window. He looks my way when I enter and I uncontrollably look down. What is it with me and awkwardness today?

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

We get outside, I lock up, and Taichi-san says, "So I guess you don't want to run again, huh?"

"Not really." I've had my exercise for today. "Besides, your apartment isn't that far away anyway."

He nods. "Okay."

We start walking and let the sounds of the city fill the silence between us for awhile. I glance at Taichi-san every so often. He has his hands folded behind his head and looks lost in thought. It makes me nervous. He's been thinking a lot lately, ever since that day two weeks ago when we hung out with Yamato-san. Although, I have to say, I've been doing a lot of thinking myself as well. Well...not exactly _thinking_. More like worrying myself to tears. What he was discussing with Yamato-san...is he going to bring it up?

"Taichi-san..." I hear myself begin, "what are you thinking about?"

"Huh? What?" He breaks away from his trance and looks at me. "Oh. I dunno...stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well..." His hesitation doesn't help my apprehension. "Actually, I was kinda wondering what _you're_ thinking."

"What do you mean?" I ask hastily, my voice breathy.

"Well..." he starts again, "Sora and I were talking today..."

_Oh, great._ That's when I remember that I haven't thought of any kind of excuse for that yet.

"...and we've both noticed that you've seemed kind of...down lately."

I'm watching the cracks in the sidewalk rather than his face.

"Why is that, Koushirou?"

"Why were you and Sora-san talking about me behind my back?" I hear myself retort a bit more acidly than I would have liked.

"You're changing the subject."

"How would you like it if you found out that your friends were talking about you?"

"What's wrong, Koushirou?"

"Seriously, Taichi-san!"

"We're _worried_ about you!"

We stare each other down in frustration as we stop at a crosswalk.

"You don't need to worry about me," I reply, almost deadpan.

"How can't we?"

I blush a little as I look away in a huff.

The light turns green and we walk with the mob of people across the street.

"Koushirou," he continues, "ever since the last time we hung out with Yamato, you've been acting _really_ weird. Seriously, what's up?"

_Well that's just great. They've noticed. _He's_ noticed._

"Koushirou?"

"I've just been... I don't even know, really, to be honest." That's _the best I can come up with?_

He looks at me, confused.

"I guess I've been having...what do they call them? Mood swings."

"That's what Sora said."

"Well, she's usually right about people, yeah?"

"I guess..."

I know that Taichi-san doesn't want to accept such a mediocre answer. He wants something "juicy," as they say. Something shocking, something that he wouldn't normally expect from me...

Then what he really wants is the _truth_.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong? You know, maybe there's something that caused the moodiness?"

"I'm positive, Taichi-san. Come on, we're here, let's go."

We've arrived at the apartment complex and we enter into the lobby, then taking the elevator all the way up to Taichi-san's floor. He just looks at my peculiarly the whole way up while I just stand there uncomfortably, feeling his eyes on me.

When we get to the floor and reach his door, as he's searching for his keys, he states, "I'm gonna figure out what's gettin' ya, Kou. And I'm gonna know by the end of tonight. You hear me?"

"Whatever you say, Taichi-san." Way to kick-up the nerves again.

He opens the door and begins to say, "Okay, now to kick your ass in some good, old-fashioned, video ga–TAKERU!?"

The blond boy jumps at his name as we walk in, and Taichi-san stares at him in disbelief as Hikari-san, seated next to him, starts to giggle.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here? I thought you said you were busy!"

"I am..." he begins slowly, as though Taichi-san doesn't have the brain capacity to comprehend it. "I made plans with Hikari-chan."

Taichi-san blinks a few times. I simply stand there and watch the whole spectacle in amusement.

Finally, Taichi-san replies, "You touch my sister, I kill you."

Hikari-san rolls her eyes. "It's not a date, onii-chan."

"Yeah, well, just makin' sure. By the way, where were you after school? We dropped by and you weren't there."

"Making up a test," she replies as she turns back to the video game they've been playing, which I recognize to be one of mine.

"Oh, okay. Well...are you guys chillin' here?"

"That was the plan," Takeru-kun answers, not lifting his gaze from the television screen.

"And you will be fully supervised at all times?"

That's another cue for Hikari-san to roll her eyes. "We aren't going to do anything, onii-chan."

"Yeah, well, one thing might lead to another-"

"It's my time of the month, onii-chan."

"No excuse!"

The rest of us make a face.

"Okay, okay, whatever! Go be...time-of-the-month-y!" He starts walking the path to his room before he stops and adds, "Oh, and T-M-I, by the way." And with that, he stomps into his room and slams the door to change.

Hikari-san gives a long sigh. "Please excuse my brother."

I laugh. "I'm used to it."

"So no one else could come to your party, Koushirou-san?" Takeru-kun asks.

"Party?" Hikari-san inquires.

"Yeah, I was going to have a get-together for the Chosen guys, but everyone's busy except Taichi-san," I explain.

"Oh, that sucks," she replies. "I'm sorry you have to be stuck with my idiot brother."

I shrug. "Not like I mind." There a pause before I quickly add, "We hang out all the time anyway."

Nods are their only responses, for they're sucked back into the game.

_Ugh,_ I'm_ the idiot here..._

"Hey, Kou."

I turn around.

A strange kind of high-pitched sound accompanies my beet-red cheeks as my eyes grace Taichi-san – decked in only red-plaid boxers. He starts laughing hysterically as I turn my back to him in extreme embarrassment; I can even feel Hikari-san and Takeru-kun's curious eyes on me.

"Oh, _Koushirou_," Taichi-san gasps though laughter, "What is your problem?"

"Y-you _scared_ me!" I manage to spurt out. "It's not like _that_ was what I expected when I turned around!"

Takeru-kun is chuckling, but Hikari-san only has inquisitive eyebrows raised.

"Alright, alright." Taichi-san chortles. "I'll go _actually_ get dressed. You can get the video games."

"Wait," Takeru-kun interjects, "which games?"

"All of the ones that have Koushirou's initials on them," Taichi-san replies.

Takeru-kun and Hikari-san look at each other before Takeru-kun mumbles, "But those are the best ones here..."

"Well, get over it," Taichi-san snaps. "They're Koushirou's games, he gets the say."

Honestly, I don't care what happens to my video games. All I know is if Taichi-san stands out here in his current condition much longer, there are going to be some _serious_ consequences.

Luckily, he finally heads back to his room and returns only a minute later wearing a soccer jersey for some pro-team and shorts.

"Hikari, tell kaa-san and otou-san where I am." She nods, and then he turns to me. "Let's get the games and go."

"Aww..." Hikari-san whines, "but we've gotten so far..."

"Suck it _up_, Hikari! Now come on!"

"No, it's okay, Taichi-san," I practically exhale, relieved that I can actually breath again. "Why don't we check out that new arcade down the street instead?" I've wanted to take a look in there for awhile.

"I went down there with onii-chan the other day!" Takeru-kun exclaims. "It was _amazing_."

"How did you manage to survive being with Yamato in an extremely crowded public place?" Taichi-san jokes.

"...What I didn't mention is that we had to leave after ten minutes because of the increasing swarm of fan girls," Takeru-kun adds.

We all laugh. "That's great and all," Taichi-san replies, "but I'd rather play video games for free _any _day."

"We can just _look_, can't we?" I suggest. "If the games look cool enough, we can play a few. Then we can go eat-out for dinner or something."

"Well...alright then," Taichi-san agrees. "That sounds good. Let's go, then."

As quickly as we walked in, we head out, but not before Hikari-san calls to me, "Koushirou-san, you touch my brother, I kill you!"

Now both Taichi-san _and_ I go a bright red as Taichi-san shouts back, "I'm going to kill you for just _saying_ that, Hikari!"

The two friends are laughing as he slams the door. His cheeks still pink, he murmurs, "Ignore her, she's being stupid."

We go down to the street in silence, and I can't help but wonder why Hikari-san said that. Sure, she very well may have been joking, but at the same time...

I don't even want to know at this point.

It doesn't take us long to reach the arcade, and Taichi-san's mouth drops open as his eyes gaze upon the multitude of flashing lights and symphony of clanging, beeping, melodies, and shouts of victory.

"Holy _shit_! This place is fuckin' amazing!"

To be honest...I couldn't have said it better myself.

"Dude, I could spend my entire life _savings_ in this place! Come on!" He grabs my wrist and pulls me around the entire area, ogling at every arcade game that he finds worthy of his money. I admire them along with him, and before I know it, I'm watching Taichi feed several bills into the token machine and scoop out an enormous pile of faux-gold coins.

We end up at a high-tech-looking air hockey table, which gladly gobbles up three tokens. Taichi-san starts with the puck and slams it towards my goal, but I easily block it.

We slap it back and forth for awhile, each of us scoring a goal on occasion, and Taichi-san starts rambling about soccer. I listen politely as he talks, savoring the sound of his voice, yet paying attention to the game at the same time. At first, he doesn't notice when I score the winning goal and the air stops moving over the surface of the table. He pauses mid-sentence and looks up.

"Well, shit."

I laugh. "Let me guess: Rematch?"

He grins. "You're on!"

Needless to say, he focuses more this time, but in the end, I still win.

He slams the air hockey mallet down on the table with a loud _clack_ and whines, "This _sucks_...!"

"Well, it was closer than last time," I point out.

"...But I'm _totally_ gonna kick your ass at that racing game over there!" He runs off to another new-fangled machine and I shake my head in amusement as I follow.

We feed tokens upon tokens to the games, spending half of them on Dance Dance Revolution (because I've still retained my skills from when Taichi-san was trying to "train" me for a school dance), and by the time we run out, it's dusk. We walk out of the arcade satisfied, and Taichi-san stretches as we gaze upon the sunset.

"Well, now that I'm broke, let's go eat."

"Great, then _I'm_ going to end up broke, too."

"It's not even your money."

"Well, you know what I mean."

We look at each other and my heart leaps at his sunny gaze.

"So where do you want to go?" I ask.

"Coincidentally enough..." he begins mischievously, "there's a pizza place not too far from here..."

I sigh in mock exasperation. Oh, _Taichi-san_.

He laughs. "Don't worry, Kou, there's a sushi restaurant right next to it."

"But I had sushi last ni-"

"Aww, come on, Koushirou! You're ruining my flawless plans!" He beams, a bit of pleading in his eyes.

"What are you? Some pathetic excuse for a Dark Master?"

"Very funny."

I laugh and let another sigh escape my mouth. "I _suppose_ I could go for some pizza..."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" He starts heading in the direction of the pizza shop and I have no choice but to follow in his majesty.

"So you ready to tell me what's been eatin' ya?"

"I told you, Taichi-san-"

"Mood swings, _right_."

I give him a look. "I thought we were supposed to trust each other."

"See, now that's what _I_ was thinking..."

More avoiding his gaze.

"Koushirou, whatever it is, I'll be happy to help you out. Or you could always just rant to me."

_If only you knew..._

"I mean, you always listen to me when I rant my ass off, so I might as well return the favor."

"Well...I never have anything to rant about. You know me."

I try to give a smile for effect, but I can tell he's not buying it.

"Well, if you'd like good ol' Yagami Taichi's opinion-"

"Most _supreme_ opinion of the entire world," I sarcastically interject.

He pauses to pointedly ignore my statement. "I'd say tell me."

"For the last _time_, Taichi-san-"

"Oh, look, pizza!"

I stumble on my last words at the abruptness of it then chuckle to myself. Food is always a distraction for my Taichi-san.

We go inside and get in the line, which conveniently isn't too long.

"What're you gettin'?" Taichi-san asks.

"Just cheese," I reply simply.

"Psht, _boring_!" he exclaims.

"Alright, well, what are you getting?"

"Everything."

"You would."

We get to the front of the line where a skinny teenage girl with spiky hair and bleach-blonde tips enthusiastically asks, "What'll you boys have?"

"Four slices of everything pizza and a large Coke, please!" Taichi-san pipes.

"And...how about _you?_" My eyes widen as the girl gives me a little private wink, making sure Taichi-san doesn't notice.

It takes me a few moments to stutter out the words, "I, um...I'll just have one slice of cheese pizza and a small water, please."

She gives me a bright-white smile, types in the items into the cash register, and goes to get our orders from the many pizzas in the glass case next to the counter.

"You're paying, right, Koushirou?" Taichi-san asks.

"Yeah." I take out my wallet and select a few bills to pay. I'm still a little stunned, for it's the first time _anyone_ has ever openly made a _pass_ at me in public. It was just..._completely_ unexpected, not to mention especially strange and almost..._foreign_, coming from a girl.

She comes back with the pizza slices and drinks, and Taichi-san gladly takes the tray.

I pay for the meal, and when the girl takes the receipt out of the cash register, she writes something on the back and then hands it to me, giving me another wink.

Except this time, Taichi-san notices, and he double-takes with eyes _twice_ as wide as mine.

I mutter an "_arigato_" as I begin to walk away, and I can feel the girl's eyes on me...looking me up and down...

This is just _way_ too bizarre for me.

I decide to sit all the way on the other side of the restaurant, and when I collapse into a chair, Taichi-san bursts out laughing.

"Oh my _GOD!_ I _never_ thought I'd see the day when Izumi Koushirou would get _hit_ on!" He continues to laugh hysterically.

I turn dark red and look away. "It's not funny, Taichi-san."

"Oh, man, that is just... Oh, wow..." He continues to laugh.

I notice the writing on the back of the receipt and, curiosity getting the better of me, I read it:

_Hey there, Koushirou ;)_

_Call me if you're looking for a good time!_

_XO Rinako_

_3814-4151 _

There's another fit of laughter as I realize that Taichi-san has been reading it from over my shoulder. I crumple the paper into a ball and toss it on the floor, the color never leaving my face.

"Wow, _I've_ never even gotten a note like that!" He uses up the last bit of laughter he has and sighs loudly as he plops onto the chair across from me. "That's the funniest shit I've seen in a _long_ time!"

"It's not so funny to me," I murmur.

"Aww, I'm sorry, Koushirou. But really, you should call her sometime! I mean, come on, you didn't even have to try anything and you got a date! Wish I could be so lucky."

"I'm not interested," I mutter. Trust me, I'm _definitely_ not.

"Man, but seriously. You can't get more straightforward than that, can ya?"

I'm really not into having this conversation. Not one _bit_.

"Wonder what she liked about you, Koushirou. Come on, it _does_ make you wonder, huh?"

"Not really," I reply, my appetite completely gone. "I just know that I didn't see anything in _her_." Yeah. _No kidding._

Taichi-san laughs again. "Well, your loss I guess." He pauses to take a giant bite of pizza. "Now that's something I'd like to know," he muses after he swallows.

"What's that?"

"What _you_ need to see in a person in order to like them." He raises his eyebrows mischievously. "After all, you _did_ admit that you like someone."

"Taichi-san, I'm _still_ not going to tell you."

"Aww, why not? I told you about Sora."

"You didn't have to."

"But like you said, we've got the whole trust thing goin' on, remember?"

I hesitate. "I'd just rather keep that information to myself."

He chews on his pizza thoughtfully. "Well...alright then, can you answer my original question?"

"What? What I like in a person?"

"Yeah."

I sit there while I chew on this request. Well...no harm in it, I guess. I sigh and reply, "Alright then."

He relaxes in his chair, looking extremely interested. "Well, go ahead."

I prepare my words before they come out of my mouth, for I know that I have to be extremely careful not to say anything that could give me away. "Well, a good personality is imperative. I need to be able to talk to someone who can keep a good conversation with me. You know, laugh about things, discuss topics that we both enjoy talking about, things such as that."

"Well, yeah, same."

"Similar interests _are_ nice, but at the same time, I appreciate a person having different ones as well. It gives me insight into activities that I wouldn't normally indulge in, plus, I love seeing someone I care about excel at what they enjoy."

Taichi-san nods. "I understand."

"I also like being around someone who has a sense of fun, but keeps it realistic at the same time. I find it difficult to be energetic by myself, but when I'm with someone who's naturally that way, it's easier for me. And sometimes, I really need that burst of positive energy."

He nods again. "Okay."

"And I think the number-one thing is that there's a sense of trust. I just..." I hesitate. "There needs to be this bond that's strong right from the beginning. It's hard for me to trust people, but if I can trust someone...that means a lot to me."

He's stopped eating and it looks as though he's thinking really hard, pondering, wondering. Finally, he states, "I know exactly what you mean."

"Really? Well...what about you? What do you look for in a person?"

"Well...basically everything you just said. Except I need someone who has a lot of patience and can calm me down sometimes." He chuckles. "I know I can get pretty crazy." He dives back into his pizza.

I flush a bit as I nibble a little on mine. _I'm patient and calm...right?_

I just...I hope he realizes how compatible we really are for each other. In reality...he said it himself.

It's just that his sexual orientation won't recognize that.

Despite this, I end up eating anyway, just because I know that if I don't, I'll be starving later. I finish my slice as he starts on his third, and after taking a giant sip of Coke he says, "Do you think Sora matches those characteristics?"

I wince. I thought he was over her... "Why?" I almost whisper. "Do...do you still like her?"

"Well, not really, actually." Relief. "I guess I'll always be kind of attracted to her, though. I mean, for all the time I've known Sora, I've liked her. It's hard to look at her any other way."

I have to say that I can relate to those feelings. "I understand. But why are you still curious?"

"Well...I'm wondering if she and I would've worked out... Like, if she had chosen me over Yamato, would it have been worth it?"

I've known the answer to this question for a long time. "Taichi-san, honestly, I don't think so."

He looks a little hurt... Just a _little_. "Why?"

"You guys _used_ to be a lot alike," I explain, "but now she's changed. Perhaps when you were younger it might have worked-out for a time, but she's changed so much that now I think you're barely compatible. You two have chosen completely separate paths. Besides," I add, "you two are so stubborn it would be a mess."

He ponders this while he chews. "I guess... I guess I know what you mean."

I nod. "I know you'll find the right person, Taichi-san. I mean...you're a really likeable person." I flush as soon as the words leave my mouth. _So much for careful planning!_

"Aww, thanks, Kou!" He grins.

"Heh...don't mention it." I smile sheepishly.

"What would I do without you?" he continues, although I'm not quite sure if he's saying it in a more joking or serious manner.

"I-I don't know," I answer. "You tell me."

"Well...I'm not really sure, to tell you the truth," he admits.

More blushing on my part. Good thing I'm partly in a shadow. "Well...well thanks, Taichi-san. I don't know what I'd do without you, either." And honestly, I don't.

"Good to know I'm appreciated around here!" He follows that with a final laugh before he decides to focus on his last slice of pizza.

As he eats, I can't help but feel kind of...strange. With all of this talk about compatibility and crushes and compliments, and then sitting across from Taichi-san on a Friday night... It feels like... It almost feels like...

God help me, but it almost feels like a _date_.

Wow, I'm having some really unhelpful thoughts tonight.

Swallowing his last bite of pizza and draining the rest of the Coke, Taichi-san chirps, "Well, I'm finished, are you?"

"Yeah, I'm done."

"So what do you wanna do now?"

I shrug. "I dunno."

We throw our trash away and take a back exit so we don't have to pass Rinako, and when we get to the front of the building, we get a perfect view of the full moon now proudly floating in the sky. Its light is adorned by the stars, which gracefully accompany its splendor. That's when I notice that we're near the junior high, and right across from us, the quiet beach awaits.

"Let's go to the beach," Taichi-san impulsively suggests.

"Okay." I'm actually kind of eager to continue this quasi-romantic atmosphere. I mean, after all, the beach on Odaiba is considered to be the most romantic spot in Tokyo...

Hey, I can _pretend_, can't I?

Taichi-san quickly looks both ways and runs across the street, me following behind. When we reach the sand, we both stop and look up at the giant moon, mesmerized by it. I let its gentle glow warm me and the starlight fall on our heads, but the next thing I know, Taichi-san is tackling me to the ground. Instinctively, I futilely try to push him off of me in order to avoid awkwardness.

But Taichi-san isn't so good at identifying awkward moments.

He cackles as he pins me to the sand, and I squirm as I cry, "Taichi-san! Stop it!"

"Not a chance!" he cries, putting even more weight on me so I can't get away.

Our eyes meet as he calms down. With each passing moment, it just feels more and more awkward, and the butterflies in my stomach flutter faster and faster as he remains on top of me, his face inches away from mine, the moon reflected in his eyes.

When I imagine Taichi-san being on top of me, this isn't exactly the situation I put us in...

Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!

_Finally_, after what seems like a decade, Taichi-san scrambles off of me and mutters, "Sorry!" in an embarrassed way, and when I get up and brush the sand off of my body, I almost think I can spot some red among his bronze cheeks.

We stand a few feet away from each other for a bit as we savor the calm, salty breeze and the peaceful moonlight, but it doesn't take Taichi-san long to break the silence with an insane suggestion:

"Let's go swimming."

I look at him as though he's crazy. "Taichi-san, _everyone_ knows that you're not allowed to swim in Tokyo Bay. Besides, it's downright filthy anyway."

"Well, do _you_ see anyone around?"

I look around. No one. "Taichi-san..."

"Come on ya big party pooper! Let's go!" He grabs my wrist and pulls me into the water, all of our clothes still on, and the water inconveniently happens to be rather chilly.

"_Taichi-san!_"

"Aww, come on, Kou! Where's your sense of fun?"

I feel the water soaking deep into my shoe soles, and I feel rather disgusting, to put it bluntly. But Taichi-san disregards all of this and starts splashing me – right in my face.

I spit and rub my eyes as he laughs, pointing at my dripping-wet hair. Knowing that I can't pass up this opportunity, I return the favor, successfully getting some water into Taichi-san open mouth.

"_Ugh!_" he exclaims in revulsion as he spits. "That _is_ pretty disgusting."

We stand there in the water for a minute before we both burst into laughter, and then we're off into a giant splash fight. By the time we're both exhausted of sending water each other's way and dunking one another, we're panting and looking at the moon again. I end up wading deeper into the water, letting it rise up my body, spreading my arms out like wings as to take in the night. I take a deep breath and exhale. While the water smells a little funny, I feel rather relaxed. I feel happy, I feel alive, I feel... I feel beautiful.

Wow. That's the first time I've really ever felt that way.

I watch the moon and stars for a little while, and that's when I decide to see what Taichi-san is doing.

When I turn around, I find that he's _staring_...at _me_.

He's staring at me like...like...like I stare at him:

In absolute admiration.

I blush and look down for a moment, but when I look up, he's still staring, letting the water drip off his flawless body and his beautiful disaster of hair. He looks...he looks _different_. I don't know how to explain it. He looks... He looks like Taichi-san, yet somehow...he doesn't.

"Um...T-Taichi-san?"

"I..." He starts, still gazing at me.

"A-Are you okay?"

_That's_ when he finally blinks and snaps out of it.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine..." He shakes his head a little as to get back to his senses. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Um..." I look down at the gently rippling water. "D-Do you want to go?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." He turns towards the beach. "Back to your place?"

"S-Sure. We can dry off there."

"Okay."

We both make our way back onto the sand and head up to the street where a few passer-bys notice our wet condition and roll their eyes. That's the usual reaction to the few stupid people that go swimming in Tokyo Bay. This time, it just happened to be us.

We walk in complete silence, Taichi-san being abnormally quiet and downright _out of it_. I look over at him with concern and ask, "Taichi-san...are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. What are you talking about? I'm great." He doesn't look at me once.

I furrow my eyebrows. Something...something happened out there in the water. I don't know what, but I'd _really_ like to find out.

Because the last thing I need is for Taichi-san to turn into me.

* * *

*_Gyoza_ are dumplings.


	16. Faded and Renewed

_Faded and Renewed_

* * *

We drip ocean water onto the wooden-planked floor, and I flick on the bright lights which interrupt the stream of moonlight through the window. After removing our soaked shoes, we slide in our wet socks over to the sink, plopping them on the cool metal.

"We should get a hairdryer to dry these," I suggest, "and then we can wash our clothes."

Taichi-san isn't listening. His attention is on some other object in the room.

"...Is that okay with you, Taichi-san?"

"Huh?" His head snaps back to me. "Oh...sure."

I look at him for a moment longer before I reply, "Well...okay. Do you, um..." A hesitation and a light blush. "Do you want to shower?"

"Sure," was his distant answer once again.

"...Alright. I'll get you a change of clothes, and then you can shower. Okay?"

"Mhmm."

I leave him leaning against the counter, his arms crossed, his strangely wide eyes staring at the floor. I go to otou-san's closet and pick out an old T-shirt and gym shorts that he never wears, and then I go to my own closet to find clothes for myself. When I come back into the kitchen, Taichi-san has not moved from his spot. That's when I know that something is _definitely_ wrong; Taichi-san is one of the most restless people I know.

"Here you go, Taichi-san." He flinches in surprise at the sound of my voice, which breaks the heavy silence. I try to give a small smile, but instead of smiling back, he looks away, grabs the clothes, and quickly heads into the hallway bathroom.

Again, I blink a few times as I stare after him, and I couldn't be more confused. Cocking my head to the side, my analytical mind begins to scroll through possible explanations to his bizarre behavior.

But unusually enough, it doesn't seem to be working. Well, it's functioning, but it can't seem to produce any results.

Frowning, I lean on the countertop as I wonder, hearing the shower turn on. It was only after splashing in the water that his behavior changed. Is he feeling sick? Perhaps he swallowed a bit of water, and it's truly so polluted that now he has an upset stomach? The thing is, though, I believe I swallowed a bit, too, and I'm feeling fine. And when it comes to strong digestive systems, Taichi-san's is ideal. That's been proven by the multitudes of unusual, and even disgusting, foods he's eaten over the years.

So that can't be it.

My stomach flips a little, not because of the ocean water, but because of the way he was _looking_ at me... I'm tempted to say that's part of it, but my brain seems to be having trouble looping this into its analysis. I mean, the way he was looking at me... No, it can't be...

That just makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

So help me, but I'm almost willing to tread into the territory of him possibly–

I jump as I hear the bathroom door creak open. I hadn't even noticed that the shower had turned off. Taichi-san meekly walks into the kitchen with his damp clothes in a ball under his arm and a hairdryer under the other. I take the hairdryer from him, adding a kind _arigato_, but he still refuses to lift his gaze to meet mine. I'm almost slightly hurt from it. Taichi-san _always_ looks people straight in the eye, even those he dislikes. For him to avoid looking at me, his best friend... Something is just not right.

I set the hairdryer next to the sink, excuse myself, and quickly slip into the bathroom where I shower, dry myself, and get dressed as fast as I can. Back in the kitchen, I take dazed and confused Taichi-san's wet clothes along with my own and put them in the washing machine. When I've got that running, I ask him, "So, would you like the honor of blow-drying our sneakers?"

My attempt at injecting some light-heartedness into the air fails; he only shrugs and replies, "It doesn't matter."

Crestfallen, I simply reply, "Well...I guess I'll do it, then."

"That's cool." Still no shadow lifted from those brown eyes.

As I plug in the hairdryer and start working on one of my sneakers, I can't help but notice that Taichi-san seems a little bit calmer. I think he's happy that the loud sound will prevent any kind of conversation. I try to go back to brainstorming, but the noise is too distracting. Within a few minutes, he turns the TV on and flips the channel to a re-run of a recent soccer game. He cranks up the volume a lot louder than it needs to be, even with the hairdryer on, and I can't help but shake my head in disbelief.

_He _really_ doesn't want to talk, huh?_

I don't bother trying to get all of the shoes perfectly dry, but I get pretty close. By the time I'm sick of the mundane chore, Taichi-san isn't even watching the soccer game anymore. Instead, he's too busy looking at the full moon outside.

He tenses up again when I finally shut off the hairdryer. The loud noise still reverberating in my ears, I walk over to the TV and silence the clashing sounds of cheers and sports announcers. He doesn't look at me as I sit down next to him, my eyes staring at my lap.

"So...what do you want to do?" I ask slowly.

"I don't care," comes the somewhat expected reply.

I sit there as he wallows in his wide-eyed state, his body seemingly paralyzed, frozen. My brain is itching to search for more information, for I cannot stand this bitter wondering.

So I let it take over.

"Do you want to...talk?"

He tenses more, almost curling up into a ball. "Not really."

"Well...if it means anything to you, I want to." I have to admit that I wasn't expecting such bold words to come out of my mouth.

A moment passes before he finally turns away from the window and lets my eyes grace his. That's when I notice: They're glazed over.

"Taichi-san..." I begin, shocked. "What...what happened?"

He just shakes his head and crosses his arms, stealing those weary eyes away from me again.

"Taichi-san, I am _not_ going to leave you alone until you tell me what's going on," I state firmly.

"Yeah, well, do me a favor and not be hypocritical," he mumbles bitterly.

I'm taken aback. "What?"

"You haven't told me what's been bothering you," he mutters simply, "so why should I tell you?"

I sit there, dumbfounded, as I let his words soak in down to my conscience. _He's right_. The thought echoes in my head, and a piercing sense of guilt infiltrates me. That's when I realize that suddenly I'm standing in Taichi-san wet sneakers and him in mine.

The sour part of me retorts, _Well, perhaps he'll stop pestering you about uncomfortable subjects, now that he's on the receiving end._

The thing is, however, even though I'm usually in Taichi-san's current position, here I am, still trying to pry into his thoughts.

So I suppose I am being slightly hypocritical.

"You're right," I hear myself quietly admit.

"W-What?"

"You're right. I am being hypocritical."

He's silent for a moment. Then, "So you admit that there's something wrong. That something's _been_ wrong." It's not a question; it's a statement.

"...Yeah, I guess I am."

"You guess, or you _know_?" He suddenly seems distracted from his troubles and becomes more focused on mine.

I fidget as I can feel that nervous feeling invade my insides. "Yes, Taichi-san... There's been something that's been troubling me...for a very long time."

I dare myself to look up at him. He's simply slumping on the couch, staring at the empty TV screen, his arms still crossed. The tears that were welding up in his eyes are gone; they've been replaced by a hard, pensive look.

I know what this is going to lead to; I can feel it. The goosebumps on my skin are prickling with anxiety, my fingertips twitching with uncertainty.

"All I know is," I begin softly, "that you're acting the strangest I've seen you in a long time. And I want to know why. It's...really been bothering me."

He gives me this fiery look. "Now imagine that feeling times a couple of years."

Back to staring at my lap. My cheeks flare, and his glaring isn't helping.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"Taichi-san, you don't understand-"

"_Really?_" He gives an angry, fake laugh. "_Really_ now? No friggin' _shit_, Koushirou! No...friggin'..._shit_."

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

"You're...you're mad at me," I stutter stupidly.

"Wow, you're really good at pointing out the obvious tonight, aren't you?" he spits acidly.

"Taichi-san, please..."

"Please, _what_?" he demands. I can hear him standing up from the couch, but my exhausted brain won't let my head turn upwards to look at him.

"Please...try to...I just...I don't know."

Next time I type "miserable failure" into the Google search engine for a cheap thrill, I have a feeling my picture is inevitably going to pop up instead.

"Koushirou..." he reacts exasperatedly, "you have just _completely_ lost me. You've had me lost for a _damn_ long time, and, well, of all people, you should know that drives me friggin' insane!"

"I know," I whisper. "Believe me, I know."

"Then...then whatever this _thing_ is... Is it _really_ that bad?"

Finally, I gather up the courage to look up at him. "Apparently the _thing_ that's been bothering you for the past hour is just as bad."

He recoils, squeezing his eyes and fists together in recognition of the truth, and he fires back, "That's...different."

"My situation is also different, probably worse. So don't even talk, Taichi-san." I can't believe I'm saying these harsh words to him – my Taichi-san.

He scowls as he turns back to the moonlight. We don't look at each other for awhile, but finally, Taichi-san replies, "Some real trust thing we've got goin' on, huh?"

"Mmm," is my only response of agreement. I say that the person I trust most is Taichi-san, but if that were true, wouldn't I entrust him with my deepest, most carefully-guarded secret?

Yes, but only if said secret didn't involve _him_.

And that thought can't help but make me wonder if his secret happens to involve _me_.

Still, my brain seems to refuse to list that under the possibilities. But it's not as though I have any other ideas anyway.

Suddenly, he turns around and asks me, "Why won't you tell me?"

"It's just...something I'd rather keep to myself."

"So you haven't told anyone else about it?"

"Of course not."

"Why?"

"If you knew, you'd understand."

"Okay, so why don't you just tell me so I _will_ understand?"

"Because that kind of defeats the purpose, now doesn't it?"

He stares at me for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, arms _still _crossed, like he's refusing to let his guard down.

All of a sudden, out of the blue, he asks, "Remember that one time a few months ago you when I walked in on you in your room while you were on the computer?"

"Which time?"

He rolls his eyes. "And then you wouldn't let me look at your computer screen because you were doing something 'private?'"

I wince. _That_. "I try not to."

"And then after a bit of nagging you told me that you had been looking at por-"

"Yes, Taichi-san," I interrupt him, my voice tense, "I happen to remember that very well."

"Well, remember how I said that's totally cool? I mean, I have to admit that I was kind of surprised, but if it's anything like that...you can totally tell me."

"It's _not_ like that," I murmur. Well, actually, it sort of is, in a way. If he knew what _kind_ of pornography I was looking at...

He stamps his foot and shakes his head, stumped. He stares at the ceiling as he muses over what it could be, and all I can do is sit on the couch, guilt gnawing at me slowly.

For the first time in my life, I feel like he's slowly knocking down the walls I've worked so hard to build, the bricks crackling and the cement turning to dust. I don't want my friendship with Taichi-san to end tonight. It just can't.

Because then I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I can feel the tears in Taichi-san's eyes weld up in mine. Blinking hard, my voice cracking, I ask, "What would you say if I told you that you could never know...ever?"

"That we aren't really friends." He doesn't sound mad. He doesn't even sound disappointed. He just sounds...sad.

My eyes snap open and I stare up at him, and I find that he is waiting for me. "But Taichi-san, we are! You're my best friend, don't you remember? It's just... Can you respect this one wish of mine? I promise you, Taichi-san, this is the only thing that I've _ever_ kept from you. Surely you have not told me all of your secrets. Isn't that fair, then?"

His gaze sears into me. "I've never kept _anything_ from you."

"I know that's a lie." How could I forget the conversation he had with Yamato-san that day in the park?

"Prove it."

"You've talked about me behind my back."

"I _told_ you what Sora and I were talking about today, but that was just _one time_. Besides, we weren't talking _badly_ about you; like I said, we're _concerned_ about you."

I so badly want to tell him how I overheard his and Yamato-san's conversation, but that's just going to lead to a subject that I don't want to discuss.

"Fine." I decide to concede on that subject. "But what about what you're holding back from me now?"

"I just..." He plops down on the couch in a huff and sits there thinking for awhile. Then, with a broken kind of sigh, he says, "I'll make a deal with you."

"That being?"

"If you tell me what bothering you, I'll tell you what bothering me."

And we let the proposal hang in the air so heavy, yet without any gravity to weigh it down.


	17. Trademark

_Trademark_

* * *

_*Note: Read the piece like a regular poem, but then also read the bolded words from top to bottom, because that is a poem as well. The italics in that poem indicate the break from idea to idea._

_**Everything**_ used to be so simple

**In** the childhood before I first met you,

**My** Taichi-san. You turned my entire

**World** upside-down, and still, it

**Revolves** like a soccer ball, spinning

**Around** my head. When I realized that

_**You**_ were the cause, I promised that I'd

**Always** put you in the back of my mind.

**Had** I followed through, perhaps

**Your** face would not plague my thoughts,

**Brown** eyes would not make me tremble, your

**Hair** would not seem like an eagle feather

**That** soars so flawlessly in the wind. I

**Distinguished** myself from everyone else early on:

**You** went one way and I the other; I digressed

**From** the route that you thought

_**Everyone**_ was walking together. What

**Else** could make me feel more confused, isolated? You

**Cannot** even imagine. Despite this, I knew you were the perfect

**Match** for me, for no one else could ever compare. And while

_**Your**_ personality has gradually evolved, I still follow in your

**Majesty**. I have grown with you, listened to you, admired you –

**I**. Please, my Taichi-san, I

**Apologize** if I sound conceited, but I cannot help it,

**For** I will never forget all of those moments when

**I **was there for you... Don't forget, Taichi-san, I

**Am** still here for you

**Not** out of duty, but because I want to be. Am I

**Worthy** of your love? Is it possible for you

**To** try and defy attraction, make the same poles

**Walk** together instead of push away from each other?

**In** all honesty, I think I would be okay if

_**Your**_ heart prevented you from attempting such a feat, for your

**Presence** alone is enough. Even so, this feeling I have

**Overwhelms** my logic, and no one focuses on logic more than

**Me**. I do wish, however, to gather my Courage

**Like** you do and free myself from this burning

_**Fire**_ inside me – this secret I have kept locked away

**In** my heart for so long. I just hope that

**Your** friendship with me will not waver. Remember, I'll still have the same

**Soul** I had before I told you. But yes, my personality

**Has** evolved, too, because everyone changes – you have

**Calmed** and I have peeked out of my shell.

**But** my dear Taichi-san, what

**Has** not changed is how I feel about you, and

**Not** even I can comprehend how that has changed the rest of me. I've

**Extinguished** all there is to say. I should just tell

_**You**_. After all of this time, my words

**Are** ready to be released into a situation whose outcome is

**Still** uncertain. But I trust

**You** **– my **_**Taichi-san**_**...**

* * *

A/N: So, I had originally planned for this to be another analysis chapter, but...nobody really wanted that, right? To be honest, I really didn't feel like writing one, haha. But, to stay true to the planned structure of the story, I simply decided to take a creative approach. Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Brook of Sorek

_Brook of Sorek_

* * *

"I'll think about it," I finally decide after many moments of impatient silence. I'm not quite sure why I'm even _considering_ telling him, but as he nods in understanding, among the sense of accomplishment that he's holding, I can tell that he's a bit uneasy about revealing his secret, too.

He gets up from the couch and fruitlessly starts searching the cabinets for anything to eat in a sort of zombie-like state. He is shaking; that I can see but do not want to mindlessly analyze. My brain is tired, and I deserve to rest awhile. I need to almost...reboot before I can make such a weighty decision.

Six years is has been. Six years of secrets, and now, with one simple nod of the head, it will all be spilled out in some kind of rhapsody of shame. I was never able to shadow my dark eyes well-enough to cover the hurt that has slowly eaten at me for years. It's no wonder that finally, my barriers are decaying so much as to crumble helplessly and let all be exposed.

My fists are buried into the couch as though I'm grasping handfuls of sand that are slipping out of my fingers faster than I can control them. I get up while I still can, for Taichi-san's head is buried behind refrigerated bowls and cartons, and I glide off to my room for some solace and repose.

I sink into my computer chair as I turn on my desktop computer. It will be good to indulge in some other subject matter for awhile. I do not like to think that it's procrastination, for all too many a time it is, but I just need something to rescue my mind from its own brutal destruction.

I click the mouse a few times before I hear the return of the soccer fans screaming in the living room. Taichi-san must be trying to distract himself, too. I dive into the beautiful array of letters, numbers, and symbols as I continue to write a program for a current project I've been working on, working so efficiently that by the end of an hour, I cannot believe how much I've accomplished.

I sit back in my computer chair, letting it lean back so far that I can teeter back and forth a little on its wheels. I know that Taichi-san must be feeling impatient; since he's the one who made the offer, he must have already made up his mind to tell me about his secret. Still, if it took that little amount of time, it must not be as substantial as mine. Is it even a worthy trade then?

But then again, Taichi-san has never been good at keeping secrets, even his own.

That makes me wonder... Even if Taichi-san completely accepts me and disregards my feelings for him, will he be able to keep such a secret? He will be the first one to know, even before my parents. I don't want other people to know right away... It needs to be a slow process. And I definitely don't want it to be blown out of proportion. I just want it to be something quiet and almost neutral in a way. I want people to say, "Oh, Koushirou's homosexual? That's okay, cool," and then proceed with their lives. It should just be background information that everyone keeps tucked away in the back of their minds, like how everyone unconsciously recognizes that people are straight. I know that it won't be as simple as that, but I just don't want to be obnoxious about it, and I definitely do not want to seek attention from it. In other words, holding up a big sign that states, "Guess what, everybody? I'm gay!" is not my plan of action.

I think Taichi-san would understand that. But he's simply been known to let things like that slip. I suppose I've been able to say that I trust him because I haven't had any other secrets for him to keep. Well, there was that one _completely_ and _devastatingly_ embarrassing moment when he walked in on me while I happened to surfing a particular website, but surprisingly enough... I don't think he ever told anyone about that. No one has ever mentioned it to me anyway.

Then again, until a couple of weeks ago, I had no idea that there were questions regarding my sexuality. So I suppose anything's possible.

But in all seriousness, what am I truly afraid of? Rejection? Isolation? I accepted long ago that Taichi-san will not return my feelings; that's nothing new. And now that I think about it, why would any of the Chosen Children reject me? None of them are homophobic as far as I know, and apparently, it'll simply affirm some of their suspicions. From what it sounded like, coming from Taichi-san and Yamato-san, no one ever spoke of my possible homosexuality with disgust.

I guess it comes down to my parents, really... My parents think I'm such a blessing. Even when I've done some unwise things, they've comforted me and told me that it's okay. For all of this time, all I've wanted to do is be a perfect son, but honestly... I think they're just happy they _have_ a son. I mean, now that I think about it, they're some of the most accepting people I know.

As for everyone else? They already don't associate with me. That won't change.

Wow...why didn't I realize all of this sooner? Suddenly, it seems logical to confess. Out of all this mess, something logical emerges.

I stare at the program code and smile.

But I guess... I'm still scared. Of what, I don't know. I guess it's just that six years of fear don't dissipate in five minutes.

I swerve my chair to face my closed door. I notice the lock I put on it back when I first returned from the Digital World those six years ago. Turns out that I actually use it sometimes... It's not too hard to figure out for what. I can't help but shake my head; while I've hidden an abnormal secret, really, I've developed into a typical teenage boy.

But I don't only lock it for that; I usually utilize it for privacy in general. Like now. The doorknob hasn't jiggled once, though, so in a way, it's a bit unnecessary. Pointless. But I suppose it's the psychology of it – knowing that it's locked makes me feel safe and secure. Comfortable.

I get up from the chair and unlock the door. I turn the doorknob. The door creaks open. Bold.

The sounds of the soccer game are still raging loudly. I look around the corner but can only see the very left end of the couch. I slowly slip out of my room and look around the wall so I can see what my Taichi-san is doing.

He's not on the couch. Instead, he's looking at the shelves of the myriad of family photos that my mother has placed there over the years. He looks at them with complete fascination, as though he's discovering them for the first time, despite the fact that they've always been there. He pauses to look at a few of my embarrassing baby pictures and smiles. Slowly, he takes small steps so he can scan every single picture. Finally, he stops at the end, and I realize that he's looking at my favorite picture on the shelf.

It's a couple of years old, but I still remember that moment as clear as anything. It was my birthday, and the Chosen Children decided to bring over gallons of ice cream and tons of toppings to makes sundaes. It was their crazy idea, so sometimes I wonder if they did it simply because they had an excuse, not necessarily because it was my birthday.

Somehow, everyone got in a food fight that I'm pretty sure the Digimon instigated. Okaa-san, without us noticing, snapped a picture of me and Taichi-san – covered head-to-toe in ice cream and toppings, laughing hysterically, sharing a blissful glance.

He's staring at this picture now, and his hand reaches out, touches the frame, and traces its contour. His smile morphs into a thin line as he gazes at it, almost entranced. His eyes seem distant; perhaps he's re-living that moment. He closes his eyes for a second. Slow exhale. When he opens them again, I swear I can see a mournful shine in them, but before I can confirm this, he shuts them tightly again as he slams the picture face-down, his other hand curled into a fist.

He starts muttering to himself, but I can't decipher the words over the cacophony of the soccer game. Suddenly, he takes a deep breath and sighs, looking towards the television screen. He picks up the remote and shuts it off, and that's when I high-tail it back to my room, only shutting the door quietly so he won't think I've been spying on him. I don't lock it, though, for I know he's coming.

I haven't done an extensive amount of thinking about the matter, but I suppose I've made up my mind. He has a right to know, and my secret has the right to be released. Honestly, I don't know if I can hold it in much longer before I do something drastic anyway.

Not to mention that I'm _dying_ to know his secret.

Before I can think about it for another moment, he's knocking on my door.

"C-Come in."

He uncertainly opens it and looks almost...frightened as he steps inside. Apprehensive. Anxious. ...Guilty?

"So, um..." he begins, walking over slowly and sitting on my bed nervously. "What have you decided?"

Fidgeting with my fingers and heart pounding wildly, I bravely look up at him. My jaw finally cranks open after six years of being rusted shut, and my lips somehow form the words, "I'm ready to tell you everything."

* * *

A/N: Okay, I've officially stopped making you waiting. Next stop: The Confession! (So big – it deserves capital letters!)


	19. Red

_Red_

* * *

My voice is caught in my throat as he looks at me with keen interest. Where to even begin? How can I possibly start to explain this enormous secret of mine? My lips fumble as I page through my thoughts, trying to sort them out. He's still looking at me, sitting on the edge of the bed, learning forward in dire anticipation.

"Well, um..." I hear myself stutter, "I-I don't really know where to begin."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," he responds a little impatiently.

"Yeah," I breathe, closing my eyes. I need to "psyche myself out" for this. Try to convince myself that it's actually happening.

"Okay, well...you see...the reason..." A hesitation. "The reason I've been acting kind of weird lately-"

"Koushirou, it hasn't been just lately," he interrupts.

I shy back a little. I get scared again. "Well, you'll understand once I tell you."

"Then tell me already! I'm dying here!"

"I can't if you're going to interrupt me."

"Alright, alright, I'll shut up," he huffs. "Go on then." I think the feelings of excitement and anticipation are overwhelming him with irritability.

"Okay, well, anyway..." I continue cautiously, "I...well...do you remember the conversation you had with Yamato-san a couple of weeks ago?" My face is flaring and my stomach feels about to explode.

"Um, when?"

"When we got together in the park. When I went to throw our trash away."

He blinks a few times and immediately looks nervous. Almost in a whisper, he asks, "How do you know about that?"

"I...eavesdropped on your conversation," I admit. I look away in shame.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry, Koushirou!" he frantically apologizes. "I didn't mean to insult you! I mean, but, I mean, well... _Are_ you insulted?"

"You talked behind my back, so I _am_ a little hurt."

"It wasn't me who brought-up the subject! It was Yamato! Koushirou, please don't tell me you secretly hate me or something-"

To my surprise, I actually laugh a little at that.

"No, Taichi-san...far from it."

He looks confused.

Okay, so this is it. _Stay calm, Koushirou, stay calm._ But that's impossible; I'm shaking a little. Nevertheless, I take a deep breath, control my composure, and say, "Well, what you guys were talking about..." A pause. "It's...it's true."

There is silence as he stares at me in disbelief for a moment, trying to comprehend exactly what I've just said. "It's..._true_?"

"Y-Yeah..." So finally, after all of these years, I come right out and say it without any sense of humiliation, just the cold, hard truth: "I'm gay."

It takes all of the courage in the world to prevent my eyes from evading his, but I simply have to see how he responds. He gawks at me for a few silent moments again, and his mouth drops open a little.

"Are you...you are..._really?_"

I nod. Still no sign of a positive or negative reaction. Just..._shock_, I guess. My heart is practically in my throat, and I'm fidgeting like mad.

"I just..." His eyes are wide and he shakes his head. "I guess I just can't believe it..."

"Well..." I shift uncomfortably, and that's when I can't help but look away. "Apparently you _had_ considered it once or twice..."

"Well...well yeah, that's true," he admits, "but only because I was wondering why you never seemed interested in any chicks... Seriously, I didn't think about it that much. Only when it came to that." He still has this stunned, yet somewhat confused look on his face.

"O-Okay..." I swallow, and I can feel tension building up in my muscles. "So yeah...there it is. You're..." I take a breath. "You're...cool with this?"

"Yeah!" he exclaims suddenly, his voice kind of breathy. "Of course, Kou. Why wouldn't I be?"

I feel like a giant boulder has been lifted off my chest. "I-I don't know... I-I guess I was...afraid..." Suddenly, the idea seems downright ridiculous. If I had only told him about my sexuality, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Of course he would accept me; he's my best friend!

"Afraid that I wouldn't be your friend anymore?"

"I, well...yeah," I reply, ashamed. "I just...well...I didn't want to risk it, you know?"

"I mean, I guess, but..." He trails off. "I have one question," he suddenly asks.

My fists clench again. "S-Sure."

"How...how did you know...that you...that you were...gay?" He almost whispers the last few words. I can't say I wasn't expecting this question.

"I guess I just kind of, well, knew. I mean, how did you know that you were straight?"

"Well, okay, yeah, but..." He hesitates again, uncomfortable, unsure. "Was there anything that kind of..._made_ you sure?"

I flush a bit. "Well, I...liked guys. I mean, I was attracted to them. I've never felt that way towards a girl, ever, only guys." Then I mutter, "Or one guy..."

He's too lost in his thoughts to hear me. "So when you started crushing on guys you knew?"

"Well, yeah."

"Like...the butterflies and shit?"

"Yeah."

He stares at his lap with this almost...mournful look on his face. "So like...is that why you went crazy when I walked in on you looking at porn? It was..."

"Y-Yeah..." I'm blushing furiously now. "It was."

"And your awkwardness in the locker rooms..."

"Yeah, I mean, imagine changing in front of a bunch of half-naked girls. Sounds nice, but honestly, it's just awkward. For me anyway."

He nods. "But what about when we were in the baths in the Digital World?"

"I hadn't really..._recognized_ my sexuality yet, I reply. "Or perhaps, I just wouldn't admit it to myself. I was confused. I'm sure you can understand."

He nods. "Definitely." Then I hear him mutter something like, "Believe me..." but I'm pretty sure I've misheard him. He continues, "But...then...why were you so awkward around me? I mean...I've known you forever." He's still staring at his lap, and his cheeks...they're pink.

So, our conversation has led us here, and now, I have this obstacle to conquer. My face is flushed, my tendons are tight, and my hands are shaking more than ever.

I look up at him boldly, and surprisingly, he meets my eyes. We share a kind of understanding glance, a connection, but it's different. It's like nothing we've ever encountered before, and its meaning... I can't quite put my finger on it.

"It's because...you're...you're different, Taichi-san."

I think he's catching on, for a sense of disbelief and even..._fear_ have entered his wide eyes. My stomach lurches as he shakily asks, "And w-why am I different?"

Before he can even finish the question, before I can even attempt to stop the words from spilling out of my mouth, my tongue clumsily blurts the words, "I love you, Taichi-san."

...Not exactly the way I wanted to express it right away.

He doesn't say anything as I continue to watch him. I'm kind of proud of myself; I did not break our gaze the entire time. I kept it with the most sincerity that I could show him.

Instead, he's the one to break it. His eyes are wide, he's shaking his head again, and it looks as though he's really hoping he didn't hear me correctly.

"M-Me? Why...why _me_?"

"Because you're everything I want to be," I say simply.

"No..." He continues to shake his head. "No...are you kidding me? Why the hell would you want to be _me?_" His expression hasn't changed.

"I've always admired you, Taichi-san, whether I was aware of it or not." Now that I've started talking, I can't stop. Still, I'm surprised that I've been able to remain so level-headed. "Everything about you, Taichi-san... You're just..." I almost laugh a little. "You're just amazing. I can't explain it."

He's just shaking his head, shaking his head. "For...for how long?"

"Since the moment I saw you."

Suddenly, his head snaps up. "_What?_"

I blush as I finally can't help but look down. "Yeah, well...it's the truth."

I can feel his astonished eyes bore into me, and I can almost hear question after question echo in his mind.

"I...I don't know...what to say..."

"It's okay," I reply. "You don't have to say anything." Somehow, I smile and look back up again. "So...this is...okay? I mean, I know things are going to be different now, but...we're still friends, right?"

"Yeah, of course," is his somewhat distracted answer.

I give an _extremely_ relieved sigh. "Well...if it matters to you...that made me feel a lot better."

He gives me a small smile, but I can tell that his heart is not in it. "Now that wasn't so hard, now was it?"

I smile back, and for the first time, I even look at him lovingly...to his face, anyway. "Surprisingly enough, it wasn't."

We keep our gaze for a few moments, but honestly, he looks like a deer in headlights – petrified, but unable to move. Suddenly, he breaks away and scowls, punching the mattress in a burst of frustration.

I blink a few times. "Taichi-san...what's wrong?"

"I'm so damn confused!" he cries. "I can't stand this, I don't know what's going on..."

Tentatively, I get up from my computer chair and sit next to him on the bed. I put my hand on his shoulder as to comfort him, but he flinches...and blushes bright red.

"Does this...have to do with your secret?" I ask slowly.

"Fuck this," he grumbles. "I might as well just tell you."


	20. Beauty

_Beauty_

* * *

"I don't know what's going on," he says to me desperately.

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to peer around his head to see his downcast eyes.

"This, just…this whole thing!"

"I…don't know how to help you if you don't tell me what this thing is," I reply firmly, yet assuring. "Besides, you haven't fulfilled your part of the exchange, remember? So you kind of have to tell me, if I recall correctly. It would only be fair."

He straightens up and heaves a long sigh. "I know. Don't think I've forgotten."

I try to give an encouraging smile. "If I was able to tell you my secret, then surely you can tell me yours. Courage…remember?"

He looks at his lap, and his hands are lying on his knees, palms up. His fingers curl in a little, and he just stares at them as though he's completely helpless.

"Don't look like that, Taichi-san, it's not you. You're _not_ helpless. I know you aren't. You've proved that wrong your entire life."

He blushes a little again. "Stop it, Koushirou," he says dryly.

My stomach lurches in dread. "Are compliments too awkward now?" I ask, my voice expectant of a disheartening answer.

But instead, he replies, "I don't want them to be."

"Well…then let's not make it that way."

"But I can't help it!" he suddenly cries, clenching his fists as they remain on his lap.

I shrink back. "W-Why is it that way?"

"I don't know!"

Well…this is productive.

Trying to dig deeper, I inquire, "Does this…have to do with your secret?"

He's quiet again. I look up at him, eyes concerned and confused, yet hopeful with a silent plea. After a few moments, he states, "It started tonight."

"W-What?"

"This…confusion, I guess you could call it. It started tonight…out there. In the water."

So something _did_ happen out there! "What, Taichi-san?" I whisper.

"Well…" He hesitates, but scowls and seems to have to make his mouth form the words. "I was just…splashing around with you and stuff…you know…and then…" His face tightens like a fist. "When we were looking at the moon, I felt so…happy. I can't explain it. I-It…it was the happiest I've ever felt in my life."

"Taichi-san-"

"But it was like, why the fuck am I feeling so happy? How the hell can I feel happier than when we defeated Apokarimon or BelailVamdemon? I couldn't figure out what it was. And then…"

"And then what, Taichi-san?"

He turns away and mumbles, "This is gonna sound so corny…"

"It's okay. What is it?" I can barely contain my anticipation.

He takes a deep breath as his cheeks flush pink. "And then you turned around, and…"

My heart jumps into my throat. "A-And what?"

"I-I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I…_you_…I couldn't…I couldn't take my eyes off you…"

I blush furiously, and my insides are somersaulting, flying away.

"Because…I mean…_you_…and now…"

I'm shaking like crazy and I can't breathe. "W-What, Taichi-san?"

Suddenly, he turns around and lets his glazed eyes bore into me like flame.

"You were so beautiful."

_No._

No...this...this can't be happening. This _can't_ be happening!

It's not possible; it can't be... After all of this time, after all of these years, how can he suddenly look at me this way? I am not beautiful; I never was and I never will be. Even if he is feeling that way...how could he say that? How could he say that to _me_ of all people? Why are things suddenly changing for the better for me? That's never the way it works...

It's so new, so unbelievable... It's what I've hoped and prayed for these six long years, yet now that it's happening...no...it can't be!

That is only supposed to exist within my mind, my fantasies... This must be a dream, the dream that I have played over in my mind countless times through my closed eyes, my projector. I am floating, I am numb, I am swimming in ether.

Lost, trying to find my bearings, I breathily ask, "How...what...why? No..."

"I don't know why either," he says simply, ashamed. "And now that you've told me that...you know...I don't know what to think."

I blink a few times and shake my head, making sure I'm still awake. "Why now? Why so suddenly?"

"I don't know...I guess...I mean...you're really amazing, Kou. You are, whether you want to believe it or not. I guess I realized...how lost I'd be without you."

"I'd be lost without you more, Taichi-san," I whisper.

He blushes deeper as he continues, "And I guess, seeing you like that...so beautiful...it kind of just...opened my eyes." He looks as me, a mist of confusion shrouding him, yet a little bit of hope exists, too. "The thing is...I don't know...if this is real or not."

"W-What do you mean?"

"Like...these feelings came so suddenly. Am I just...crazy? Like am I just feeling weird tonight? Or..." He trails off, doubt and self-pity cloaking his eyes.

I sit there frozen with excitement, yet I keep a calm demeanor, for I know how confusing this is. "I felt the same way when I first realized my feelings, Taichi-san. But...look how I ended up." I flush a little and look away. Meekly, I continue, "I'm not saying you'll end up the same way, but... Well, who knows?"

"You hope I will, don't you?" It's not accusing; rather, it's a simple question.

"Well..." I give a little "heh." I admit sheepishly, "I can't lie... That much is obvious."

He just nods, sighing again. I want to help him so badly, guide him through this process, somehow speed up six years of soul-searching so that within a few minutes, I can plant my lips on his...

Okay, that shouldn't be the reason.

I know what this is like, and as Taichi-san would say, "it sucks." I want to encourage him that it'll be okay, that he can find his way out of this labyrinth and emerge confident, just like he always does. Well, it's not like I was exactly _confident_ when I discovered myself, but I know Taichi-san will be...

Daringly, I gently lift my hand from my lap and place it on top of his open palm. I lace my fingers through his, and we both flinch – me in surprise at my boldness, him in a bit of fear, both of us in exhilaration. He looks at me with worry, asking for help, and I squeeze his hand encouragingly.

"I'll be here to help, Taichi-san," I invite warmly.

Suddenly, he breaks our grasp, and I feel my heart tighten, but then his arm, shaky and unsure, folds around my back. He rests his hand on my left shoulder, and I blush hard, giving a bit of a surprised gasp. I look up at him, and his face is almost stolid.

"I want to see...if it feels right...being with you like this."

I nod in understand and decide to not only assist him but take advantage of the moment. I snuggle up to him and nestle my head in his side, looking up at him hopefully. He flinches and tenses up at first, but then his shoulders fall like water and his lips curve into a cool smile. Then, he tightens his grip around me and pulls me closer.

I wrap my arms around him and break into a blissful smile. He smells like my shampoo, which is so different from his, yet for some reason, the fact that he is drenched in my scent is somehow enthralling. Still, there is the faint aroma of his sweat, which has accumulated probably due to his nervousness. Somehow, it is just as sweet, and the mix of the two – my scent and his – is intoxicating.

Suddenly, I feel gently shaking fingers run through my hair, which is still damp in some spots. He simply strokes my hair like the wind, and it is like a lullaby, singing me to sleep. My eyelids are in a lazy, droopy bliss, and I give a happy sigh as butterflies dance a ballet.

Gradually, I can hear Taichi-san's breath quicken like the pitter-patter of rain – exhilarated panic. I sit up straight and his arm swiftly falls away.

"W-What's wrong?" he stutters.

"I was planning on asking you the same question," I reply rather pointedly.

He calms and looks away, and it looks as though he wants to say something, but he's holding it back.

"Taichi-san, you can tell-"

"Can I kiss you?" he suddenly blurts in a rush, whirling around to me.

My mouth drops open in shock and my whole body feels paralyzed. I blink a few times as I gape at his hopeful, desperate expression, trying to form words, trying to convince my mind that yes – he actually _did_ just ask to kiss me.

"I...w-what..._why?_"

"I need to see... I need to see...if this is real," he gasps slowly, awkwardly. "I've kissed girls before, but... I've never felt that..._spark_, you know? Like, you just feel that...connection?"

"I wouldn't know," I mumble, embarrassed. I can't help but be a bit bitter: "I've never kissed _anyone_."

"I know," Taichi-san whispers back, "but you've always heard of it. Always wondered what it was like."

"Th-That's true," I concede. "But...well...just now...what were you feeling?"

"A part of me was...so happy, Kou. Really. But...another part is still unsure. Like, this is all so sudden, and it's kind of like, whoa, what the hell is going on here?"

"I understand. It's okay," I assure him. It's no wonder; the "straight" part of him probably can't be more confused.

"So...I guess...it needs a bit more..." – he searches for the word – "convincing..." He blushes a deep red as he turns away.

"Y-Yeah..." I'm slowly losing my breath, I can feel it. "I-I guess...that would be alright then..."

"O-Okay."

We meet each other's eyes for a brief moment, look away timidly, and then meet again. My heart must be pounding out of my chest, and I've never felt more dazed in my entire life. This is too surreal; my dreams are coming true too fast. I want to savor this, sear it into my mind to take out every so often to treasure. Nesting in his arms already seems so far away, and everything is blurring like fog and haze.

I feel a kind of magnetism between us, and it's pulling us closer and closer. It's like I'm climbing up a hill only to reach the top and tumble down the other side, like a roller coaster. Except I don't think I'm strapped in.

We haven't broken our gaze. Not one flicker of the eyes, not one set cast down in embarrassment or disbelief. Taichi-san's are beginning to close now, and mine are, too, now that I notice it. His breath is hot on mine, as shallow as mine, as one with mine.

Then...our lips touch.

I suck in a sharp breath through my nose at the contact. His lips are as soft as life and as sweet as illusion. It could be a sweet, sweet illusion, but no... It's an illusion trapped in soft, gently reality.

This is my spark, my Taichi-san.

We suddenly break the kiss tenderly and I slowly open my eyes to greet Taichi-san's own half-lidded ones. Double vision makes contours fuzzy, hot breath makes the air dizzy. The room is spinning, and I feel like I'm waking up from an anesthetic dream into a swirling reality.

"So...how...was that?" I breathe.

His answer is another kiss.

My eyes shoot open like static and I see Taichi-san's eyelids gently closed in a kind of bliss I don't recognize. It's fresh, new, unadulterated. It seeps into me and washes me over, soaking me through, flooding my blood, my skin, my own damp eyes.

I press back and pull him close with sudden desire, and he gladly accepts it, his shoulders falling in a relaxed, relieved sigh.

There's this feeling that stirs deep inside my stomach, something moving and shaking. It vibrates through my bones and makes my body shiver, but it's not a chill. It's strange, yet somehow, it makes the kiss have all the more magnitude.

His kiss turns fierce and aggressive, as though something inside him has snapped and it's impossible for him to hold back. I'm not prepared for such a burst of energy, and it overwhelms me like the tide as I momentarily break the kiss and fall back on my bed, helpless. He follows me, grabs my shirt in two fistfuls, and lightly moans as he plants his lips on mine once more. I can barely catch my breath, or at least, the little of it that is left. It is simply endless – an infinite ring of unexpected emotion that keeps me wondering with blank expectation. It's so unbelievable that I cannot even begin to fathom it.

When I creak open my eyes for a moment, I realize that I'm kissing air, with Taichi-san's love-stricken, yet amused smile hanging over me. I un-pucker my lips and look away, elated and breathless.

"So...does that answer your question?" he asks in a teasing tone.

At this point, I can't even remember what the question was.

"You...I..." I catch my breath and shake my head, unable to speak.

"I don't know what came over me," he tells me in an undistinguishable tone. I get worried; is he making excuses for these actions? But then, "But I do know that I've never been so sure about anything in my life."

"Th-That being...?"

"This." And he kisses my cheek lightly. "I had no idea that for all of these years, we've developed so much...chemistry. It..."

"Coalesces?" I lightly finish.

He stares at me blankly, but then he laughs. "Sure, I'll go with that."

There seems to be a cloudy mist in my peripheral vision. This is all happening way too fast. Minutes ago, I was worried that he'd reject me. Now he's coating me in electrifying sweet kisses.

"I feel like something's been...unlocked from inside me," he continues, "a part of me I never knew before." He looks at me hard. "Maybe...it's saying...that I can love you, too, Koushirou."

I stare at him in disbelief as these melodic words grace my eardrums. Too many good things are bombarding me all at once! "L-Love me?"

"Yeah."

My mouth releases a breathy laugh – of joy, of relief, of anticipation. I throw my arms around him and kiss him so deeply, let my dreams control my actions, let all of me melt into him.

_Love me... Love me... Love me..._

* * *

A/N: Just to let you know, the next chapter _will_ be lemon and rated M – so yes, the overall rating of the story will go up. If you don't want to read the chapter, that's okay. You won't really miss anything too plot-worthy, considering you already know what happens. So just a heads-up. _Molte grazie_ for reading!


	21. Leviticus

_Leviticus_

* * *

The first touch is like a sweet elixir, awakening every nerve in my body and spoon-feeding it life. I can feel my heart patter against my chest with the same rhythm of my shaking, and it feels like all of my blood has turned to water.

And it is only his fingertips against slightly exposed flesh. As my arms wrap around his neck and pull him closer, he holds both sides of me like morning coffee. Only calloused skin graces the very surface of my waist, but it's enough to make my breath quicken, short and hollow. He tries to kiss me in between them, but I only breathe hot breath onto his parted lips, and then I see them curve into a smile. He starts a path of kisses down my neck, and his fingers trace down the contours of me as though he is sketching me all over again.

I dig my hands into the mess of brown and comb through it, just like I've always wished to do. While it's coarse in all of its random splendor, there's something silky about it as well. Surprisingly, I can run my fingers through it at ease, and I hear him give something of a relaxed once, I am the wind.

He kisses my jaw line fiercely and starts coating my neck in little pecks, intensifying with every passing minute – or perhaps it's seconds; I'm not terribly sure. I can't help but try and slow down time, for I must savor every touch and mull it over in my head, wrap my mind around it and muse a little. I can feel my imagination run wild as I can hear something of a growl erupt in his throat, and suddenly he's biting at my skin in voraciousness.

I think my breath is gone. I think it left a long time ago, probably when I said I'd tell him everything. Everything, huh? Has everything truly been exposed and come to the surface? Is light suddenly blaring in my face, stinging my eyes with its glory?

Then why am I not breathing? Why are my eyes still cool?

I wince a little when he bites too hard, and suddenly his eyes are hot on mine. A trail of sorry winds its way out, and suddenly he stops to stare.

"Oh, _shit._"

Well, if that didn't ruin the moment.

"What is it?" My voice is much more hushed and breathy than I expected.

"Your...your neck..." The trail ends awkwardly.

My eyes flash open, and that's when I can feel them tingle. "What's wrong?"

He turns away like a ghost. "Go see for yourself." He peels himself away from me, and my body begins to scream in protest; every particle, every fiber, every molecule immediately hungers once more for the satiation of their yearning.

It takes a moment for my brain to force my muscles to move, but I get up from the bed and mosey over to the bathroom. I can hear my inner desires crying, sobbing from the tease, but my Taichi-san had stopped anyway... And what was this of which he was speaking? I reach the mirror and look up.

_Oh._

I lift my head up and gingerly brush my fingers over the purple blotches that speckle my neck. Although I know that this is going to spell out trouble for the next day, for some reason my stomach does not tense up in dread. My entire being is as calm as the ocean; every one of my movements flows flawlessly like a dance. The edges of the mirror are still coated in soft steam, and as I look at my reflection, I am almost certain that I am in a reverie.

The blotches are no matter to me. My only concern is the man in the other room.

I pivot to return to him, but suddenly something pulls at me from the inside. I shudder as a thought roars through my entire body, a vibration that shakes the tips of my fingers, my toes, my lips. I shut my eyes, and when I open them again, I'm facing the medicine cabinet.

My cheeks glow slightly at my wandering mind. Well, perhaps it is not wandering; it knows exactly where it's going. I watch my hand reach out for the handle in a fog, and the next thing I know, I'm gripping a condom packet – one of the ones given to us during a sex education course at school.

I shake my head and purse my lips. My Taichi-san cannot possible be thinking this. Besides, it is too fast... I am wanting something that should not be in my reach for a long while. This desire... I've never felt anything like it, and I cannot help but feel that reminiscent pang of guilt deep in my gut. Yet somehow, I cannot bring myself to put the packet back on its place on the shelf. It is simply an impossible task.

I close the cabinet door. _Just in case. _My optimism is reaching wondrous heights tonight.

I stick it deep in my pocket and return to my room, where my Taichi-san is lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a brooding look on his face. He doesn't heed me any glance as I enter and sit on the edge of the bed, fidgeting with my fingers, clumsy and dazed.

And he still doesn't say anything.

"They're...not so bad..." I tell him encouragingly as I pry open my lips. "In fact," I continue, a thought dawning on me, "I actually have an old turtleneck that I can wear tomorrow to hide them."

"Okay." His eyes close, but then he turns to me and smiles. His eyes are half-lidded, but he still has somewhat of that Taichi-san smirk on his lips. "You don't even have the decency to kiss me back?"

I frown for a moment but then warm when I realize to what he is referring. "I-I'm sorry, my Taichi-san, I just..."

"I'm yours now?" He rolls over and cradles his head in his palm. "Or are you referring to me as royalty?"

My eyes widen at the slip of the tongue. My fists clench and I turn away hastily in embarrassment. "I-I didn't mean...! It was... I just..."

I can hear the bed creak slightly as he sits up. His hand is cool on my hot face as he turns my head to face his stolid expression.

"I hope it's the former," he says, "because the latter will never be true. Never compared to you."

"T-Taichi-san, I-"

He cuts me off with a sharp kiss, curving both hands around my face, and I grab at him hungrily. He slowly pulls me back down, and that's when I realize how eager he actually _is_. He actually...he actually _wants_ to kiss me like this! He wants to cradle me in his arms and treat _me_ like a king... Hold me until the morning when the sunlight pours onto my smiling face... He wants to _love_ me.

"_I can love you, too, Koushirou."_

His lips are so soft, and they quiver like raindrops...or perhaps that's what my lips are doing, I can't really tell. I can feel his hands glide down me again, and I shiver in bliss, placing my hands gently on top of his, trying to conceive the reality that is washing me clean and repainting my dreams.

Suddenly, my hot skin prickles at cool air, and he is running his hands over my stomach, my chest, my waistline. I tense up at first, every muscle fluttering at the touch, but then I relax and let out a long, calm sigh, hushed but deep. His chocolate eyes peer into me, and I do not dare to blink. Our gaze doesn't break as he moves back up to kiss me once more, and I flinch again as his bare skin touches mine, melts with mine. His shirt hikes up as I run my hands over his back, letting just my fingertips circle around the closeness...oh, the closeness, the static, the attraction.

His hair disappears for a moment as he sheds off the fabric and throws it to the floor, and I feel my senses widen as he gives me a renewed look...different and terrifyingly captivating. My fingers press into his skin, as though they are grabbing it, and I can't imagine ever letting go. This is too exhilarating, too dream-like, too miraculous to break away.

I can feel desire pull me taut suddenly and expectantly. I don't want him to think I'm too eager, yet at the same time, I hope he's feeling the same. I'm silently praying that he doesn't notice, but before I can screen him for signs, I can feel him tug at me, and all of a sudden I'm on top of him and my shirt is flying over my head.

I look at him incredulously as it vanishes, and I am met with only that simple, wonderful smile. No, now it is a grin. And now it is on mine.

"Mmm..._Koushirou_..." he whispers into the kiss.

I can feel myself twitch and tighten again. I am like I was before – too breathy and exhilarated to kiss anymore. I break away with a gasp and the hot air forms the word, "T-Taichi-san..."

His eyes are closed meditatively. "What is it?"

"I..." A strand of his hair is wrapped around my finger. "This is...it's...well..."

He opens those wide eyes.

I blush and flick my eyes away. "It's..._fast_. I mean...you're...okay with this? You just...discovered this...emotion...hours ago. I-If you think we should...stop...I-I will."

To my surprise, he gives a little laugh. "Stop? How could I stop?" His hand touches my cheek and flows down. "Does it seem as though I want to? You certainly don't."

A harder flush. So he has noticed. He must have. "A-And what makes you say that?"

"Considering all of the lovely little noises you're making."

My head shoots up, my eyes wide in the biggest surprise, my mouth half-open. "_What!?_"

He blinks at me. "You mean...you haven't even _noticed_?"

"I...well..." I feel like my whole body is numb. "I...I suppose I haven't..."

I'm prepared for him to laugh at me, but luckily he only gives an amused chuckle behind closed lips. "Koushirou, you're weird. But," he pauses, "you're _mine_."

"I'm..." We draw together in unison this time, and that when I finally notice that I instinctively and uncontrollably murmur a soft hum of satisfaction and need. But I see no reason to control it... Is it any surprise that I cannot suppress my desire? But by the sound of his tone, it seems as though Taichi-san actually..._likes_ it when I do that.

I explore him; every bit of him that I can find mustn't go untouched. Every sense has been awakened, and while it all seems fuzzy, everything has never felt so clear, so _real_. I press a kiss on his stomach, admiring the ebb and flow of his quickened breathing, the curving, gentle lines of his strength and beauty. My palms are sweating and my pulse is rushing blood, and I tense up, trying to restrain myself. I trace kisses on his flesh, and the heat rising from him seeps into me. My hands wander aimlessly, and with one miscalculation of my travels, I gasp...for I discover that he is in the same state as I.

I pull my hand away quickly, but he grabs it and directs my gaze to him. He looks at me, hard and serious, then softens and places my hand there again.

I look up at him, and I know I must look frightened. His face doesn't change as his other hand traces my face again. Then he nods and lays his head back on the pillow as though this request is nothing unusual, as though I am nowhere near petrified of it, as though I have truly filled the role of sleeping beside him.

I'm breathing so hard now I feel faint. This is unbelievable, inconceivable... Am I really unveiling him, fumbling with a few tiny movements to have my eyes grace upon utter beauty? I am shaking like the chains of a playground swing, my fingers creaking like its rusty hinges.

Then I jump off.

Smooth like curve of a warm mug, like a slightly familiar quilt, a dream reincarnated as a perfect reality. I feel him radiate a sense of longing and eagerness – a venture, a path he never thought he would travel. And here am I, traveling down this excitement, shadows parting for my invading fingers, my breath exiting my lungs in quick puffs. For so long I've dreamt of this, and all I want is to make him happy...make _him_ feel like a king, an emperor so worthy of my worship rituals.

My lips dance all over him, and I can hear him gasp in bliss, a soft purr dribbling from his throat. I've never felt yearning take over me like this before; I'm twitching in need, in relief, in satisfaction. Intensifying, my whole body stiffens, tightening my grip on him but loosening my grip on control.

I'm sipping him so smoothly, skimming the froth with the very tip of my tongue and savoring its richness. I feel like I'm almost drunk off his body, his heat, everything about him that ever drew me to him in the first place. Voracious and fiery I glorify him, refusing to let any inch of him escape my touch and taste.

I never want to stop. All I want is to be here for the rest of my life with my Taichi-san in my hands, watching him grip the sheets with fingers bursting, his head tilting back every so often. I want to focus on nothing else, just this passion and urgency.

"K-Koushirou..."

Just when I feel as though I might be getting close, he takes his pointer finger and touches under my chin, making me look up. His eyes are half-lidded, and my insides knot a million times at the way he is looking at me... He leads my lips back to his, except this time, he is gentle. He slowly wraps his arms around me, his fingers as light as butterfly wings, his kiss as soft as air. I somehow shiver in this immense heat, and as I let my chest touch his sweat-coated skin, I feel him pressed against me, and he shudders, too.

He runs across my flesh, slowly and tenderly, and I simply kiss him with everything I have, lacing my fingers through his hair in an intricate grip, trying to ignore that feeling...that thought that is making my entire body scream with a certainly unachievable request. My own tautness is begging for contact – any sort of contact from Taichi-san, but no, this isn't about me... This is about _him_.

Then I feel his touch tracing the edge of my pants, and my mind goes numb. It's as though my longing is washing away all thought processes and taking me over whole. He dips down below and I gasp, trembling, my eyes mechanically closing.

Now it is impossible to hold back any sound that escapes from my throat as he coils around me. I nest my head in the nook of his neck and shoulder, and my hands grasp his arms as I feel millions of sparks go off with every bit of me that he graces.

"Taichi-san! T-Taichi-san..."

As his touch bathes me in ecstasy, his other hand proceeds to peel my covering away from me, and as he slides it down my legs, he suddenly stops.

And that's when I feel the packet press against me.

My heart stops as he reaches inside the pocket and slowly brings it out. I can't look at him; I'm too embarrassed. Why did I take it out of the cabinet? _Why _didn't I leave it there? Why did I let my hormones control my actions?

He's quiet...that _can't_ be a good sign. I want to disappear forever, hide in the corner behind my bed and never come out. I start to move away, but he stops me. With fearful eyes, I dare to look at him.

He has that serious look again. My eyes flick away and then glance at him once more.

Then quietly he asks, "...Do you really want to?"

It's not angry nor is it mocking. It sounds like a mixture of surprise and hope...that I'll say yes, beg for him to take me, to become one with me, to love me...

"I-It's too fast!" I blurt out. "I-I mean, I'm sure you don't want to. I mean it's silly, isn't it? Absolutely ridiculous-"

"You want to," he interrupts simply, holding up the container.

"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, ashamed and glum, "I-I don't even know why I got it. Just…can we pretend that it was never there?" I can feel the mood slip away slowly, as though I'm trying to grasp dissipating mist. I've never felt more humiliated in my life.

There's a pause, silence suspended in the air. Then my Taichi-san says, "You still haven't answered my question."

"Remind me again?" I squeak.

"If you truly do want to."

I know what the answer is. I've been feeling it deep inside my gut; it's been pulling at me from below, sighing with the wind in aching yet doubt. My mind, my body, _everything_ is screaming the truth, yet I know that one more slip of the tongue could obliterate this entire night…it could wake me up so I could feel the stickiness of such preposterous fantasies.

Suddenly, his touch graces me again and I can feel his tongue tangling with mine. How long have I been laying there with no spoken words? All thoughts disintegrate as I close my eyes once more and press into him, memorizing every move, every touch, every sound. He kisses me, deep and fervent, and he fumbles with me, making me gasp and cry as he trails around me, awakening my voice and connecting it to my thoughts.

"Taichi-san, Taichi-san…!"

Everything is suddenly spinning around me so fast, capturing me in a whirlwind and hugging me tight. I can feel him pressed against me with so little separating us, and everything inside me cries and begs for the closest that I could ever get to him…that he could ever get to me…

I thrust all of my coverings away from me vigorously and slide down him, sleek and electrifying. I rumble against him, and he pauses for a moment, recognizing and adjusting to this unforeseen territory. But I could never pause, not even for a moment, for I have _never_ felt so alive.

"Yes…" A voice crawls out from my mouth. "Taichi-san…I want…_need_ you…"

Then he bursts to life and grabs a hold of me, tangling his hands through my hair and holding on as he kisses me more ferociously than ever, grinding against me in lustful drives. Without warning, he lets go, a wave of fresh air hits me, and I breathe for the first time in forever. I open my eyes to see him clutching the packet, tearing it and taking out its contents. Then a thought grips me: What if he doesn't know what to do? What if I have to explain to him-?

He answers me as his lips are back on mine and I can feel tiny, glossy fingers searching me. I try to relax, but that is simply impossible; _everything_ about me couldn't be more rigid. My legs unclasp and I unfold myself, and then suddenly, I wince as he finds me.

Panicking, I frantically think to myself, _Dear god…if _that_ pains me,_ _then how…?_

"A-Are you alright?" My Taichi-san's voice is breathy with a touch of fright…at this, at its magnitude, at all of it.

"Yes…" I reply instantly, the bite of pain starting to recede.

"Y-You sure?"

"Of course, my Taichi-san." My eyes are lightly closed, and I can feel my lips curve into a meditative smile.

Then I feel more of him and the brief twinge again, but I can feel him moving… This is..._aah_, _more_. His lips are on mine again, and I push against him, hungry and impatient. He and I are radiating attraction, for it is so thick that I can feel it in heavy, sensual vibrations. I am absolutely pleading for more of him, for as much of him as I can get, and I wrap my arms around his back and wrench him closer.

"_Please_, Taichi-san, _please_…"

He is gone, and I hear him shuffle around as I can only imagine that he is readying himself for the moment that I cannot even begin to fathom is approaching. I'm quivering so badly that there is no possible way I could ever relax, not to mention my own manifestation of wanting is become somewhat of a nuisance.

I open my eyes to see him poised above me, shaking yet…eager? He lays his slick hands on my shoulders to arrange himself, and then he straightens out like a snake, letting me view his lustrous masculinity…so beautiful and right.

He hovers close to me, inches away from my face, and I have never felt so nervous, yet so keen. He bores into my eyes like soft thunder, and I can't help but notice that they are glazed over with so much lust, so much carnal desire…

But can I truly say that I expected anything more?

Then suddenly, I feel him touch me. I know he is hesitating, for he casts his eyes down and purses his lips.

I can't take this. "Do it, Taichi-san…please…" I plaster him with kisses to coax him. I don't care that he doesn't love me yet. If this will help him along the way, then I'm willing to do it. And this…how could I not want this? I want it, I want it so badly…

He brings his gaze back to me and nods, and it takes all of my willpower not to cry out as he urges for admittance, pushing against me gradually. And then I feel him within, and it aches as he widens me, my eyes squeezing shut and slowly filling with tiny tears. I peek open my eyes and see that his are lightly closed, his neck dropped slightly and his mouth half-open, his breath raspy and fast. His eyelids flutter, his eyelashes flashing, and I can see his eyes roll back into his head in rapture as he persuades inside further and further.

The pain is unimportant. Just seeing my Taichi-san like this, knowing that I am the source of this indescribable pleasure…I feel so close.

Suddenly, he collapses onto me and digs his hands under me, hugging me near. He has stopped moving, and that's when I realize that it is impossible for him to get any closer. No one has ever gotten this close to Taichi-san, and I… _I_ am the first and only one.

_Nothing_ can match this closeness. I am complete, I am fulfilled, I am perfect. This is the closest both of us could ever get to someone, and its magnitude makes me quake with elation, shudder in tremors of Paradise.

And now, it's no longer lust. It's no longer sinful, taboo, or simply for the sake of satisfaction. I can sense it, breathe it, _live_ it.

This is _love_.

In a burst of energy, he draws out and dives again, and while that pale throbbing lingers in the background, it's okay. Again and again and again and…this is more than okay… This is _fantastic_… He is stroking me now at the same time, but it's more than that… It's this bit of pleasure that creeps up my spine as he reaches me… This…this… I am building, mounting, arching as I feel… I… _Aah_...

I sink into the sheets of white as I let go, slowly float down from my pinnacle like a feather. It only took seconds, and as the bliss starts to subside, I feel it again as he moves within me in sharp, quick peaks. I moan and he grunts with every thrust… I say his name… He says mine… And suddenly he is quickening his pace, his breath forming, "Kou…Koushi…Koushirou…"

Faster and faster, my mind grows blanker, as though a white light is blinding me, the _tap_, _tap_, _tap_ ringing in my ears. And then, he stops, and I am warm.

He gives an animalistic kind of grumble. He stays there for a moment, and I can only hear his breath, short and erratic. When he slowly pulls away, I expect everything to beg for him again, but no. Strangely enough, I feel...satisfied. Content. Heavenly.

He collapses beside me, chest heaving up and down with mine, his breath in rhythm with mine. I lie there in a happy mess and disarray, and finally I open my eyes to look over at him. He opens his eyes, too, and he has this expression that makes every nerve ignite.

He looks like he loves me. And I know he doesn't yet, but...he will. Right?

I feel like I've been sedated. Every inch of me is numb, but I like it. My lips curve into a smile as I give him my own enamored grin, and then I curl up next to him, nuzzling into his soft skin.

"I love you, Taichi-san."

I can almost feel him beam, his arm curves around me, and we lie there.

Me and my Taichi-san.


	22. Logically Absurd

_Logically Absurd_

* * *

I think I'm on a carousel of sorts. I'm standing on the platform, the metal creaking under my feet, the surroundings blurred as the machine spins. I feel dizzy; I grab onto a golden metal column and lean on it for support, my eyes darting all around me, trying to recognize any children.

But their faces are just as blurry as the world revolving around me, and I blink in confusion. The wind whips at me slowly and desert-like, for it is warm and envelops me in reassurance.

I place my hand on the center cylinder base and use it as my balance as I circumvent the ride, glancing at the pastel-colored reigns and baubles of the horses – some manes white, others black. When I think I've walked in a complete circle, I realize that I don't recognize any of the horses. I keep walking, yet they keep changing, and suddenly I feel lost – how is that possible on a carousel?

Then suddenly, I look up, and I see…myself. Except it's me when I was a young child; actually, around the age I met Taichi-san. I smile as I watch; my eyes are glowing, my mouth open wide in laughter, my hair just as ridiculously styled as I remember it.

There's a horse right next to my younger self, and it's empty, beckoning me to ride it. I slowly advance towards it and then hoist myself onto it; luckily the horses aren't moving up and down too fast. I smile, for it has been a long time, and then I glance at myself in one the mirrors on the center cylinder.

And finally, I look as happy as my younger self.

* * *

Warmth is all I feel, drowsiness my entire being. I do not want to open my eyes; I am too comfortable. I feel something move against me, and that's when I realize…

_Taichi-san._

I open my eyes and look to my side without moving my head. I am nuzzled against him, his skin sharing heat with mine, and his arms are wrapped around me like water. His gentle breathing soothes me, his quiet heartbeat rumbles throughout me. I cannot even bear to think of moving, for that would be like emerging from a cocoon prematurely – and now that I think about it, this is kind of like the cocoons of blanket that my father used to make as he tucked me in at night when I was a child. And here I am once more, unwilling to break its encasing (Taichi-san must have thrown over the covers after I dozed off) to greet the cold. I am safe.

He stirs. I already feel tiny streams of chill flow past me, and I shiver. He yawns and stretches, and the warmth in which I had been indulging is beyond repair; but it is my Taichi-san's way.

"Mornin'," he greets as he looks towards me, his smile calm.

"Hey." It comes as a puff of air. I look past him and notice the time on my digital clock. "Well, not quite."

"Hmm?" His expression doesn't change.

"It's 2:30 AM."

"What!?" He frantically turns around and looks at the time. "Whoa…holy shit."

"Yeah…" I roll on my back. "Do you just want to go back to sleep?"

"I don't think I could at this point. Besides…" He snuggles up to me again. "I don't want to."

Blood still manages to find its way to my cheeks. "S-Same." I turn to him and place my head on his chest. Exhale.

We lie there for awhile, my mind blank for the first time in a long time – years, it seems. I focus on our rhythms, meditating in a way, and after awhile, I think we are simultaneous.

"In case you're wondering," he says suddenly, "you were really good."

I bury my head into him, which probably burns his skin. "Th-Thanks. Y-"

"I mean it." He takes his pointer finger and tucks it under my chin, bringing up my eyes to look at him. "I've never…felt that kind of emotion before."

"Same…" I hear myself reply. His words… I have never heard such words spoken to me. This happiness, this bliss, this elation… It is like nothing I have ever experienced and it shakes me to my very core, my very frame…

"Oh, oh…why are you crying?"

"I just…" I wipe a tear from my cheek. "This is…I am…" I almost laugh a little. "I'm just so happy."

His shoulders fall in relief and he kisses my forehead. "So am I, Koushirou."

I throw my arms around him and hug him so tightly, my emotion overflowing in a way I never knew. The tears flow down my cheeks in happy streams, and I grab onto him, my thoughts fleeting. I am soaring; there is no other way to describe it, and the bottled feelings of all these years…they release. And I am so relieved they are in tears of joy, for I was sure that they would be of despair.

He strokes my hair and makes little humming sounds, pacifying me and bringing me back to my Buddha state. And we lie there again, his arms around me, protecting me, his calloused hands a feather touch.

"I feel…" he begins, echoing my bursting feelings from the day before.

"You feel what?" I ask, mirroring his response.

"I feel… I feel like I'm transforming."

"What do you mean?" I look up at him to find his eyes fixed and frozen, his face hard and stolid.

"I'm like a different person," he says. "Completely. But a part of me still feels...unfinished."

I simply blink at him, every part of me relaxed. He looks down at me and suddenly asks me to perform an unfathomable act:

"Will you cut my hair?"


	23. Scissors

_Scissors_

_

* * *

_

I stare at him, my eyes wide and hollow, my mouth open a little, a tight knot of tension suddenly forming in my stomach. "I...you..._what?_"

"I told you, I want you to cut my hair." I have never seen him so sure of something.

"But...but _why?_" I cannot believe what I am hearing.

"Transformation," he begins, a kind of mysticism entering him. "I will look like a completely new person, won't I?"

"Well...well yes, you-"

"I want my outside to reflect my inside," he states, gazing at me again. "I want everyone to see that I've changed...and that I'm serious about it."

"W-Wait a minute!" I exclaim, tension infiltrating every muscle of my body. I push away from him in shock and fear. "You...you want to _tell_ people about this!? I thought... I thought..."

His expressions quickly morphs into his own regretful surprise. "Oh... I didn't realize...that you wanted to keep it a secret."

"Taichi-san," I start, my voice growing a little harsh, "it took me _years_ to tell _anyone_ about my sexuality! You're the first and only person I've ever told! You _really_ think I want the world to find out so fast!? I don't even know _how_ I'm going to tell my parents! Do you know how you'll tell yours? Tell your friends? Well?"

He just looks at me, kind of hurt. I'm almost tempted to cover my mouth, pretend those words never managed to escape me. I feel ashamed, and I turn away, shivering.

But then he says, "I just feel... I don't know... I mean, why should we have to hide this?"

I lie there as his words seep into me. I suppose... I suppose he's right. I mean, it's what I was thinking and realizing after I confessed to him – who cares? I know my parents will be fine with it (although it's certainly true that I need to figure out exactly _how_ to tell them), and our friends would definitely accept both of us.

In fact, now that I think about it, _Taichi-san_ is the one who should be worried! His friends on the soccer team...gosh, what will _they_ say? I'm shocked he's so willing...perhaps he has not put this into perspective.

"Our families...the Chosen...that's okay," I finally concede. He starts to interject in adamant agreement, but I turn around and stop him. "But your friends on the soccer team and the rest of the school... You're okay with them knowing?"

His mouth closes and a look of realization strikes him. "Oh..." So he hadn't thought of them. "I..." _He_ concedes. "You have a point."

I nod. "I trust our families and the Chosen to keep a secret...to an extent." I hesitate. "You don't think that Daisuke-kun would accidentally-?"

"What bothers me, though," he interrupts with a pensive look, "is that we _still_ have to keep it secret. I don't want that." He looks up. "I want everyone to know how amazing you are. How amazing _I_ think you are."

I flush in embarrassment, flattered beyond words. "T-Taichi-san..." And I can't help it: "I love you."

He slowly exhales. "I know."

"I..." I gather myself. "The idea still seems...frightening, in a way. This change of mindset...it's so new and shocking to me. It's a little hard to comprehend...and accept."

"I understand," he says, cupping his hand around my face. "I'd be okay with waiting a week or so."

I break into a relaxed smile. "Okay."

"But," he says, smiling a little, "I still want you to cut my hair."

I sigh in amusement, shaking my head. "Then what are you going to tell everyone when they ask you why you did it?"

"My impulsive nature." He grins. "Technically, I wouldn't be lying."

I have to laugh. Well, that's one thing he certainly won't be shedding! Not like I want him to – it's a part of my Taichi-san. But that's why this request is so astonishing: This is his _hair_ – his trademark, his...his _pride._ He can't bear to even have it _trimmed._ And...and what if I mess up? _Badly?_ He would never forgive me...and I would never forgive myself.

But he wants it... I can see the pleading in his eyes. Those eyes... _His_ eyes...

"Alright," I say at last, relishing in his delighted reaction, those happy eyes.

Without warning, he kisses me hard, my lips trembling as they grace his, so sweet and addicting. When he pulls away, he is grinning, and he jests, "I can't get enough of your reaction to that."

Not wanting to get caught-up in this temptation again, I fold back the covers, cold invading my bones, and climb over him; he just chuckles. But _that's_ when I realize the state I'm in, the state he's in, the state of the bed. I feel spoiled, dirty, sticky, and the smells – oh, the smells! Anyone could guess the circumstances when walking into my room just by the smells. After I cut his hair, we _must_ clean up the room. And ourselves, of course.

I can sense Taichi-san eyes wandering me, and I quickly grab my boxers from the end of the bed to cover myself. Genesis suddenly takes over.

"I'll...I'll be right back," I tell him, slipping through the door.

The lights are still on throughout the entire apartment, and I walk to the kitchen to look for scissors. There are a few drawers with other such related items in them, and after a few minutes of searching, I come across them. Then I head back, shutting the lights off on my way out.

Taichi-san is waiting for me. He's sitting up in bed, lost in thought, running his hand through his hair. I can't help but wonder if he's having second thoughts. After all, like I said, it's his _hair_.

"Hey." I get his attention and he looks up. He stares at the scissors like they're a murder weapon of some sort. "Are you…are you ready?"

He takes a deep breath and nods once – sure and confident. "Yeah."

"Well, um…" I shift uncomfortably. The scissors feel heavy in my hand. "G-Get some clothes on and m-meet me in the bathroom." I pause. Then I try to say in the in the most monotone of a voice, "And...you might want to make sure you dispose of the condom properly..." I turn around and head there, for the last thing I need is to watch.

I can hear him chuckle as I walk away. "That might be a good idea..."

I flip on the bathroom lights and stare at myself in the mirror. I am simply a _mess_; I can't even begin to explain. My hair, my body… No, I can't even describe it.

I'm gawking at myself as Taichi-san walks in, he also only donning boxers. He comes up behind me and kisses the top of my head, and I see red scurry across my cheeks. He smiles in the mirror and places his hand on my shoulder. He is reassuring, and we are both happy.

I turn to him and see that he's brought a chair from the kitchen. I step aside and let him place it in front of the vanity, the mirror eager to reflect the transformation above it. He sits down and heaves a sigh as he looks at himself in the mirror.

"Well…go ahead."

I walk behind him, the scissors at my side. But I have to set them down. I need… I need… I need to run my fingers through his hair, savor it one last time…the last time of the few opportunities I've had. My eyes close and I sigh, relaxed as the strands grace my skin.

But after awhile, Taichi-san quips, "If you don't stop getting off by stroking my hair, I'm gonna have to cut my hair myself just to stop you."

I turn scarlet as my hands retreat immediately. "I-I'm sorry! I just… I… I…" Suddenly, a thought comes over me: "Why me?"

"Hmm?" He frowns in the mirror.

"Why…why do you want _me_ to do this? I mean… I could mess-up really easily. Why couldn't you just go to a barber tomorrow?"

He lightly chuckles. "Because it's symbolic, don't you see?" He turns around to look at me. "It's _you_ that caused me to change. And besides, I couldn't bear for anyone else to do it." His smile widens. "And I trust you."

"Th-Thanks." It still doesn't help my nervousness. I can't help but shake at this sudden undertaking. Yet still, he takes the scissors from the countertop and hands them to me. I take them with my trembling hands and grab a fistful of his hair.

"Ready?"

I can feel him tense up. "Ready."

A deep breath.

_Snip._

I gape at the chunk of hair that is suddenly in my hand, and I'm almost tempted to cry. Instead of dropping it on the floor, I place it on the counter instead. It would be like sacrilege to do otherwise.

I take another snip and place another bunch on the counter. _Snip. Snip. Snip._ Taichi-san's eyes are closed; he cannot watch. Before I know it, his hair is no longer tall, and there is a pile of long, tangled locks on the countertop.

As I look in the mirror, I cannot believe what I am seeing. He looks...bare. No. This is not my Taichi-san; my Taichi-san! I want to cry; I cannot stand this. Where is the Taichi-san...the Taichi-san I fell in love with!? This is a stranger, an intruder, not him...

What have I done?


	24. Extraordinary Evolution

_Extraordinary Evolution_

* * *

"What's wrong?" So he has brought himself to open his eyes. I glance up at the mirror. My eyes are glossy, and the expression on his face is clearly one of worry. He seems to be taking this new portrait of himself all in one blow – and he is handling it calmly, surprisingly enough.

But how could I tell him what I am feeling? He wanted this so much... He _believed_ in this so much. I understand his rationale, and in a way, I like it. I want Taichi-san to love me. But...will it be the Taichi-san I love? I do not know... I do not want him to change _that _drastically.

I want to keep him. I need this memory – the memory of the Taichi-san for whom I fell so hard. This memory...

So I only request: "Can I keep your hair?"

He immediately furrows his eyebrows and looks confused. "Why the hell would you want to do that?"

"I just...do. It'll...it'll be like a memoir. Please?"

"Uh...sure?" He doesn't understand. But that's okay. This is my own selfish need.

His haircut is not yet finished. I have only cut it short without paying too much attention to detail. This next step will not be so bad.

I have him lean into the sink and douse his hair in water so it will be easier to cut. I then take the strands with my pointer and middle fingers and line up the ends, cutting to make the various lengths even. I do it ever so carefully, trying to stay calm and soothing as I toil through this. It seems to be working; his eyes are no longer shut in dread, but in serenity. His shoulders fall and he exhales slowly. Well, I never meant for him to be _this_ relaxed.

I do not know how long it takes, but it is a long time, for I am so picky. How could I not be?

I cannot bring myself to cut away all of him; I have to leave some sort of his personality in his hair. I leave the bangs longer and still spiked; they stick up effortlessly as they dry.

When I finally convince myself that it can't get any better, I step back, actually rather proud of my handiwork. He looks so much older I can't even believe it. I barely recognize him in the mirror, although his bangs _definitely_ hint that he is still my Taichi-san. The rest of it is short, but not short enough to be considered a buzz cut of any sort. All in all, I am surprisingly pleased.

His eyes are still closed; is he asleep? I wouldn't be surprised, considering the time. (What time is it anyway?) I'm shocked _I_ stayed alert this whole time!

I tap him on the shoulder. "Um...Taichi-san?"

He lifts his droopy eyes. "Are you finished?"

"Y-Yes. Umm..." I shift back and forth from one foot to the other shyly. "Is it... Did I do okay?"

He looks up, stops for a moment, but then smiles. "It's perfect."

"Oh! Um...thank you!" I blush in humility. "I'm glad."

He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head in disbelief. "This is _so weird!_"

"I can imagine." I smile.

"I like how you kept the bangs." He proceeds to spike them up a little more.

"Me, too," I whisper.

"Jeez..." He turns around and grins. "I never knew you had such creativity and skill when it comes to cutting hair!"

"Ah...! Heh," I stutter sheepishly as I search for one of okaa-san's elastic hair ties. "I didn't even know it myself."

I find one in a drawer and collect the hair I placed on the countertop. But as I'm about to wrap the elastic tie around it, Taichi-san suddenly takes it from me. He turns around to prevent me from seeing what he is doing, and I frown in confusion.

But then he turns around, gets down on one knee, and holds the hair out to me. The elastic is tied around the very ends of the hair, as though it is a bouquet. A bouquet of memories, a bouquet of years, a bouquet of brown.

"For you, my love!"

I know he is only joking with me, but I blush anyway and take it meekly. He still doesn't understand.

"_Domo arigatou gozaimasu!_"*

He laughs and shakes his head again. "Is it really that precious to you? You're something else." I clutch the hair close to me, but he looks away, a sly smile spreading over his face. "Now..."

"Now...what?" I ask.

He grins. "Time to clean all of the potential children off our bodies!"

Never more red, never more embarrassed, and – somehow – never more amused, I cry, "You just _had_ to put _that_ way!"

* * *

*The most formal way to say "thank you" in Japanese. It is said with profound respect, and one of the instances to use it is after receiving a gift of great value (literally or sentimentally).

A/N: Okay, so originally, the two chapters I just posted were actually all one chapter, but when I went to look over what I was supposed to write next, I realized that I had accidentally written what was supposed to be chapter 24 as a part of chapter 23. So I decided to just take what I had already written and make it into that chapter. Hey, works for me, despite the fact that it's short. But ah, well. I'm still calling this a triple post. 'Cause I can.

Love you guys!


	25. Shower of Kisses

_Shower of Kisses_

* * *

I let him wash first; after all, he _is _still a guest. He beckons me to join him at first, but that would lead to other unrelated activities. And that would sort of defeat the purpose of showering, wouldn't it?

The sound of the water running fills the apartment, and I can almost feel the hot water drenching me… Oh, that will be so relaxing! I cannot wait.

I walk back to the room and survey the damage. _Sigh._ We have our work cut out for us. I start by taking our clothes off of the bed and floor and drape them over the computer chair. Well, it's a start.

I can't help but wonder what my Taichi-san is thinking, feeling. I hope that _he_ is not having regrets. Me? …I don't know yet.

Really – Taichi-san cannot possibly change so drastically overnight. That is impossible for anyone, I think. What am I expecting? That perhaps it will change him into a completely different person? Someone unrecognizable? (In terms of personality, anyway.) Perhaps I will change his attitude, his perspective… I mean, obviously _something_ will change with these new-found feelings for me. (I still blush in excitement at the thought!) But can a person really transform so suddenly?

This change…it is no doubt significant and monumental. But cutting his hair…him feeling this for me…does that truly change his personality?

No. At least, I do not think so.

He's been in the shower for awhile… The water's sound is like a river's. I'd think he would take a shorter one since he has much less hair to wash. But I suppose he is savoring the heat, as will I.

I look down at my bed. Hmm…it's been awhile since I've washed my comforter. I suppose it's time to clean it anyway.

But at the same time…I almost don't want to. The smell is almost putrid, yes, but…it has the traces, the presence of my Taichi-san. To sleep in that every night…

I shiver. No. I am delusional. There is _no_ way that is sanitary… I get too wrapped-up in him sometimes and discard all logic. I throw the comforter on the ground.

I continue by pulling off the covers from my bed and throwing them on top of the comforter, making a pile on the floor.

_Ah…_it has leaked onto the mattress…

"Oh…my bad."

I turned around and find glorious Taichi-san standing behind me, dripping wet and a towel around his waist. His hair is mattered to his head, and it is so strange!

"Well, it's my fault as well," I remind him, my cheeks warming a little. I stare at his torso, tiny droplets gliding down his abdomen, so strong and beautiful…reminiscent of how he looked during that one embarrassing dilemma I had a few years ago. Yet it still amazes me how a few faint lines can awaken my senses as much as they do.

"True." He winks. "It'll dry clear, actually. Don't worry about it; your mom won't notice, if that's what you're worried about."

"Ah…okay," I reply, not able to resist chuckling to myself, realizing why Taichi-san would know such information. I, personally, am not so careless. "Well, I'm going to throw all of this in the wash and then get in the shower. Can you put new sheets on for me?"

"Of course." He leans down and kisses my forehead. "So…should I get dressed?" He grins mischievously.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, Taichi-san. Your clothes are right there." I point to the computer chair.

"Aw, that's no fun!" He punches my shoulder.

"Come on, Taichi-san."

"I know, I know."

I scoop up the blankets into my arms and walk over to the laundry room. Our wet clothes from earlier have been clean for awhile, so I switch them over to the dryer. I set-up the washing machine again for the blankets, and then I quickly go back to the room to grab my clothes so I can change in the bathroom after I shower.

"I still say it's no fun," Taichi-san teases, finally fully-clothed. I almost feel relieved because of it.

I take my clothes and shake my head as I quickly retreat from the room. "You know that is stepping into dangerous territory."

"Well, we've always escaped dangerous territory generally untouched…" Taichi-san continues, his voice still not devoid of the teasing tone.

"I would hardly describe us as 'untouched'…or our Digimon partners 'untouched.'" I raise an eyebrow as I stand in the doorway.

"Aw, come on, Kou, play along!" He winks at me again, and I can feel his eyes on me, just like mine were on him.

I swallow. "I'm going to shower now." And I head towards the bathroom before he can say anything more.

The mirror is completely foggy, and the air is humid, as though there are tiny droplets floating through the air…the same droplets that coated Taichi-san skin. I pull down my boxers and stare at myself in the mirror, the image distorted because of the steam. Did Taichi-san truly think I was beautiful? Is this his idea of beauty – my naked body, which I see every day and is nothing unusual to me? What is it about it that makes it that way?

But then I think about what makes Taichi-san so beautiful, and I suppose that is also hard to describe.

I step into the shower, slide the curtain shut, and turn it on. I take a deep breath and sigh happily as the water cloaks me in warmth. I simply stand there for a few long minutes, savoring the feeling of every molecule of mine prickling peacefully with heat, buoyant thoughts of Taichi-san omnipresent in my mind.

Suddenly, I remember that carnal look in his eye, and I remember thinking: _Of course he doesn't love me yet. How could he love me so soon, after all of these years of looking at me as a friend?_ Yet at the same time, the act…the act was of so much love, _made_ of so much love, that it was impossible of being devoid of it.

And now, as I think about it, I've always thought that if I have lustful thoughts or fantasies about Taichi-san, it cannot be pure love. But after this…how could I have ever believed that in the first place? How could anyone think of such a thing? Yes, I understand how it could potentially bring very terrible consequences in some cases, and it can be abused to the point that it has no meaning, but this…this is different.

This is an act that has been so hated, so detested in the public eye, yet there are few who live long lives and do not partake in it. Marriage is not marriage without consummation. Then why is it so sinful? And why is _this_ love – the love between me and Taichi-san – an _especially_ sinful one? I have already decided that it is ridiculous.

I suppose what is most important is that I have finally understood the act. Of course Taichi-san was mostly lustful; it is the nature of hormones and he was only discovering himself…discovering _me_. And me… I was discovering him in a way I only ashamedly dreamed of, and now, I am not ashamed. I am…amazed – no – _in awe_ at the power of it. And while I have my own carnal desires, it will never be solely to fulfill those; it will _always_ be for my Taichi-san.

"Hey, Kou? You okay in there?"

I burst from my thoughts. How long have I just been standing here, thinking?

"Um, almost done, Taichi-san!" I call back.

I hastily wash my hair and body, dry myself in a rush, brush my teeth, and throw on my clothes, which are still clean.

"There's an extra toothbrush you can use," I tell him as I walk back into my room.

"Already used it. You know I _always_ have to use it every time I sleepover 'cause I always forget mine." He winks at me.

"Ah, yes. _Always._" I smile at him as I walk over to my closet.

"I was thinking…" Taichi-san begins. "Do you think Hikari will be suspicious that I never called to say I was sleeping over? I mean, I've done that impulsively before without getting my stuff or anything, but I've always called."

I shrug as I pull out a blanket. "I doubt that would be the _first_ thing to come to her mind, at least. She probably thought that we just fell asleep or something." I start dragging out the futon – the same one he always sleeps on when he stays over.

"Aw, Kou! You're kidding, right? I'm not allowed to snuggle with you?" He walks over and nuzzles against me like a cat.

I blush and reply, "Taichi-san, I don't want to get caught-up again. Then we'll have to do this exact routine all over again."

He just sighs and shakes his head. "You confuse me to no end. You say that you've loved me for six years, then when I _finally_ realize that I care for you that way, too, you push me away." He raises an eyebrow. "What gives?"

"Well…I don't want our relationship to turn too physical…" I admit. While I will gladly perform that ritual over and over again, I know that a relationship whose base is built on that will not be a good one.

"I know. I don't either. But…" He pauses. "Who knows when we'll have an opportunity like this again?"

"I'm sure there will be, Taichi-san, don't worry. Besides, what if my parents decide to come home early for whatever reason? That would be a pretty awful way for them to find out about us…"

"You have a point there." He sighs again and shrugs. "Well, I _do_ have a soccer game, and if I'm in the same bed with you, I _probably_ won't be able to sleep. Too distracted." He winks at me.

I roll my eyes. "Very funny, Taichi-san. Well, why don't you check your cell phone to see if anyone called you? I'll set this up. I put it on the counter in the laundry room."

"Oh, shoot, does it still work?" he asks frantically. "And does yours?"

"Yes, both of them are fine." I raise my eyebrow at him. "But my wallet was another story. Think things through next time you impulsively decide to go swimming in Tokyo Bay."

"Hey," he says defensively, "if we hadn't gone swimming, _none_ of this would've happened. Or it at least wouldn't have happened for another few years. Or maybe even _ever-!_"

"Alright, Taichi-san," I laugh, "you've made your point."

He grins at me as he goes out into the hall, and I place the futon parallel to my bed, setting out a pillow and blanket for him as well. He comes back with both of our phones, and he's listening to his.

"We both have a few missed calls," he tells me. "Hikari left two on each of ours, and I saw that your parents called."

"Probably to check up on me," I reply. "I'll call them when it's a decent hour." What time _is_ it anyway…?

The red symbols flash _5:19 AM._ Well, I can't say that I'm _too_ surprised.

Then I notice my chemistry book lying on my desk, and know that there is no possibility that I will_ ever_ be able to bring myself to pick it up and look at it this weekend. And I chuckle, because in the end, it was almost like leaving it in my locker, like Taichi-san said to do in the first place.

"Taichi-san-"

"Hold on, it's Hikari." He was listening to a voicemail. After a few moments, he shut his phone. "Just as you thought. She said she figured we fell asleep and that she wants me to call in the morning. Oh, and that Takeru is coming to my soccer game." He rolls his eyes.

"What's wrong with Takeru-kun?" I ask. "Is there anyone else you would _prefer_ Hikari-san to date?"

"I don't want her dating at all!" he exclaims.

"Well, I know they aren't," I comment calmly, "but if you _had_ to choose?"

He chews on this for a moment before sighing. "I know it's probably inevitable that they'll end up getting together. And it's not Takeru that bothers me. It's just…" A pause. "She's my little sister, you know?"

I nod. "I understand. Well, personally, if you want my opinion, I think that they suit each other very nicely."

"Apparently Mimi-chan keeps asking Hikari in her emails if they've finally gotten together yet." He rolls his eyes again. "While it may be inevitable, she doesn't need to _push_ for it."

"Well…what do you think Hikari-san will say when she finds out about _us?_" I whisper.

He pauses again. Then, "I don't know, honestly. I think she'll be surprised, but happy for us. I mean, it's my sister for Pete's sake."

I can't help but grin as a thought comes over me. "Well…she _did_ say that she was going to kill me if I touched you…"

Taichi-san laughs. "Oh, trust me. _That_ won't be happening." He gives me another wink.

I laugh, too. "No, but seriously, I think that's how most of the Chosen Children will react." He nods in agreement. "I…I still can't help but feel nervous, though."

"Hey. Don't think I'm totally insensitive to your anxiety. But…" He gives me a reassuring smile. "It'll be okay."

And I nod. "I know."

We gaze at each for a few moments, and suddenly, he kisses me. And I kiss back, tender and loving. But then he curves his hand around my head, and suddenly, I feel the heat, the attraction, the vibrations all over again. He kisses me deeply and fiercely, and I return it just as ferociously, deeper and deeper... _God_, it's incredible, how it sucks me back into it so quickly, and how easily I surrender... _Mmm_...

But I pull back. No. We cannot get caught-up again.

I don't have to say anything. He just looks at me, drops his hands, and knows. Then he smiles.

"Bedtime?"

I chuckle. "It will be about time."

So we both slip into our own separate dwellings, tiredness begging to take our eyes. And though my skin may not be touching Taichi-san's...I am happy.

So we face one another, fixing on one another, savoring each other's eyes, until mine begin to flutter...

And I drift into sleep...into dreams...into memories of my Taichi-san and me from ages past...

Do I say good morning or good night?

* * *

A/N: In the "Samson" timeline, the next four chapters overlap with those in Taichi's POV. Originally, I was planning on having Koushirou be awake and thinking back on everything that happened. However, as I looked ahead while writing this chapter, I came to realize that I was going to _dread_ writing them, and I didn't think the readers would enjoy that either. So I basically fit everything I really wanted to say in this chapter.

The next four chapters are going to be four of Koushirou's dreams. They are real memories from his and Taichi's friendship that stick out in his mind. All of them have already been mentioned, if not briefly.

I want to liven-up and change-up the story a bit. So in a way, I'm giving you four one-shots, and most of them will be humorous, but significant.

Hope you enjoy!


	26. The First Dream

_Dream #1: Of Awkward Moments and Convenient Surprises_

* * *

"Hey! Koushirou!"

It must've been about fifth grade. Or was it sixth grade? Yes, it was sixth grade, that's right. How could I forget?

It was almost the end of the school year, and we were approaching summer break. The junior high computer club had invited me to a couple of meetings because they had heard such great things about me. They were very interested in having me join the club when I would go to the school the next year. That day, I happened to be hanging out in the computer lab with a few members of the club when Taichi-san approached the door.

"Are you coming?"

I turned around to find him filthy – covered head-to-toe in dirt. I could see a trail of dust from the soccer field behind him. And that was only one of the many reasons I was not going to continue with the soccer club in junior high. Taichi-san was in the most advanced league anyway – something that was out of my reach.

I smiled. "Yes, Taichi-san. Hold on."

"Wait, Izumi-kun," said a boy from further down the row of computers. I've forgotten his name. "I thought you were going to help me?" He got up from his chair and walked over.

"Oh…right. I'm sorry, it'll have to wait until another time."

"You're ditching me to hang out with some stupid jock?" he hissed.

I frowned, trying to contain my fury. "He's _not_ stupid, and I already had plans with him. It would be rude to suddenly abandon them. I will show you next ti-"

"Koushirou! What's the hold up?" My Taichi-san was getting impatient.

"Coming!" I shot one last glare at the boy, gathered my things, and followed Taichi-san into the hall.

That was one of the reasons I wasn't really _friends_ with any of the computer club members. A lot of times, they believed that they were "intellectually superior" – Great Men of sorts. I used to think that way on occasion, but not anymore. Not after spending so much time with the Chosen Children. _They_ were the extraordinary.

"What did that guy say to you?" Taichi-san asked. "You seemed pretty pissed-off."

"Nothing," I mumbled, not wanting to upset him. "He just wasn't respecting the fact that I had plans."

"Oh. What a douchebag," Taichi-san commented rather bluntly.

I chuckled. "You could probably call him that. So did you try out the game last night?"

"Yeah!" he responded enthusiastically. "It's awesome!"

"Great!" I nodded happily. Taichi-san had saved-up all of his money to buy the hottest new video game of that year (again, the name escapes me), and he had promised that I would be the first friend to try it out.

He started going on about it while I listened, savoring the sound of his voice as I often did. We arrived at his apartment within moments, it seemed, and before I knew it, I was sitting on his couch, watching him set-up the game system.

"Taichi?" called Taichi-san's mother from another room. "Is that you?"

"Yeah!" he called back as he switched on the game.

There was a pause before she replied, "I don't want you playing that game all night!"

"I won't!" But he winked at me, and I smiled knowingly.

"I can't stay the entire night anyway," I told him. "I have homework."

"It should be a crime for teachers to give us homework so close to summer," he commented, shaking his head as he set-up the game options.

We played for awhile, Taichi-san becoming frustrated because I was winning, when suddenly Taichi-san's mother walked in.

"_Taichi!_" she cried, putting her hands on her hips. "You are _filthy!_ How could you sit on the couch looking like that?"

He just looked at her and slid down onto the floor.

"Nice try, Yagami Taichi," She frowned. "You march your butt into the shower right now."

"Aww, but ­_kaa-san_," Taichi-san whined, "Koushirou's here and we're in the middle of a level and-"

"Oh, hi, Koushirou-kun!" she suddenly perked up. Then she switched back to her stern expression. I chuckled to myself. Well, at least I knew from where Taichi-san had gotten _that_ trait.

"It doesn't take long to get a shower, Taichi. Do it, or you won't be playing that game at all."

"_Fine, fine!_" He rolled his eyes, paused the game, and got up. "Don't do anything until I get back," he told me.

I nodded. "I won't."

Taichi-san's mother made sure he went into the bathroom and turned on the shower before she was satisfied and walked back into the kitchen.

"Hungry, Koushirou-kun?" she asked. I would have never guessed that she had been angry by her kind tone.

"No, thank you," I declined politely.

"Aw, well, I could at least insist on some Oolong tea!"

I smiled. "Alright then." She knew it was my favorite.

As I sipped my tea, she asked me how school was, and I would answer politely, "Yes, it's going well. No, it's not that difficult. Yes, I worry about Taichi-san's grades, too."

Then she excused herself to go to do some laundry, and I just sat there, drinking my tea and listening to the video game music looping over and over in the background.

Suddenly, I heard Taichi-san's voice: "Hey, Koushirou, do you know where my mom is?"

"Yeah, I think she's in the laundry-_ahhh...!?_"

My mouth dropped-half open and my eyes went wide as I saw the spectacle in front of me.

Taichi-san. Dripping wet. In only a towel.

I could've died.

Small drops of water were slowly traveling down the side of his face, and his eyes were gleaming with brightness. The water ran down his neck, onto his shoulders, and then to his abdomen, and that's when I noticed how fit he was – his abdominal muscles, his strength, his beauty...

Thank goodness he was too busy looking for his mother.

"_Kaa-san!_" he called, turning back around into the hallway. "Where are you?"

"Here, Taichi!" she called from the laundry room.

My eyes involuntarily followed him as he disappeared out my sight, and then I turned around and shook my head furiously, trying to get the image out of my head. But it was all I could see, all I could think about. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought about the water droplets running on things _underneath_ the towel, and, well...

I grabbed a pillow to cover myself just in case he would walk out again.

I tried so hard to push it out of my mind, make my blood run normally, make my heart stop pounding so wildly. But it was so difficult, so difficult...

"Hi!"

"_Ahh!_" I jumped from my seat and scrambled as I snapped out of my trance. "Oh...! Hi, Hikari-san..."

She looked at me peculiarly for a moment and then giggled. "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh...no, it's quite alright..." I told her, my voice breathy. Then I noticed that the pillow wasn't necessary anymore. And I sighed in relief, thankful. "I was just spacing out."

"Ah, okay!" she replied, perky and happy. "Onii-chan kicked me out 'cause he's getting dressed."

_Didn't need to be reminded..._ "Oh...okay," I answered quietly.

She smiled and went to the refrigerator to grab a snack. I was silently grateful that she and Taichi-san shared a room, for if Hikari-san had not surprised me at that moment, I could have very possibly been in a bad situation.

"Sorry about that, Koushirou," I heard Taichi-san say as he walked back into the room. "You didn't press anything did you?"

"N-No," I stuttered, moving the pillow away from my lap. "Just as you said."

"Cool." He picked up the controller and started playing again.

"What did you need your mom for?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Oh. Just telling her that we ran out of shampoo. I always forget to tell her, and then when I go to take a shower the next day, I'm screwed." He laughed a bit.

"Ah, I see." I stared at the screen, unable to focus, simply petrified by the situation in which he had been completely innocent. _I_ was the guilty one.

But if only there had been a little more shampoo in that bottle, that striking, beautiful image of my Taichi-san would not have plagued my thoughts and fantasies for the months to come.


	27. The Second Dream

_Dream #2: Of Birthday Nights and Ice Cream Fights_

* * *

Chocolate Chocolate Chip – my favorite. Always has been, ever since I was a kid. Okaa-san used to take me to an ice cream shop a few blocks away on really hot summer days. It was my innocent childhood indulgence, in a way, but it had been awhile since I had savored such a delicacy.

After all, it _was_ winter.

That's why I had looked at Taichi-san rather strangely when he had suggested an ice cream party for my birthday; it was in December. I had looked at him as though he were crazy and commented, "You _would_ come up with an idea like that."

"It wasn't just me!" he hastily defended. "It was a lot of people!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Since when are so many people interested in my birthday?"

"Aw, come on, Koushirou." He nudged me playfully. "I know you don't think we appreciate you, but we do, really."

"Right." I tried my best not to roll my eyes. "But what's so special about turning fourteen?"

"It doesn't have to be a milestone birthday to celebrate!" He grinned.

"Sounds to me like this is just an _excuse_ to celebrate," I retorted rather bitterly. "Or to eat an abundant amount of ice cream."

"What's wrong with that?" he asked innocently.

I sighed and smiled as I shook my head. "You all are hopeless."

"Hey, come on, everyone's been working really hard lately in the Digital World. You don't realize that?"

"I never said everyone wasn't working hard," I replied. "But this would basically be more about 'taking a break' than my birthday?"

"No!" he cried. "Of course not. I was just telling you the reason why it should be an ice cream party. Come on, don't tell me you don't like ice cream!"

"Well, yeah, I like ice cream..." I glanced up at the falling flurries around us. I was definitely craving hot chocolate more than ice cream. But I looked back at my Taichi-san.

"Come on," he pleaded with me. "We'll get everyone to come. Maybe we can even get Mimi-chan to come," he teased.

I sighed again, somewhat peeved. He was in the middle of his period of thinking I had a crush on Mimi-san for whatever reason. But regardless, I couldn't ignore Taichi-san's bright eyes.

"Alright then."

"Sweet!" he exclaimed, grinning wide. "It'll be awesome, Koushirou, I promise."

And that's how on the Saturday before my birthday, I ended up setting out plastic bowls and spoons on our kitchen table. Then I waited for my Taichi-san and the others to arrive.

Surprisingly enough, everyone was coming, even Ichijouji-kun, who was finally feeling more accepted into the group. We hadn't known if Mimi-san was going to come until that day, but luckily, a gate was open in America. (And of course, Taichi-san would not leave me alone about it when I told him, much to my annoyance.)

Okaa-san was absolutely ecstatic, and she begged me to finally teach her how to use the digital camera, just for the occasion. I had never had a real birthday party before. When I was younger, I didn't have the friends, and even after I met the Chosen Children, the idea never crossed my mind.

But when I thought about it, I realized that presents _would_ be nice…

The doorbell rang, and embarrassingly enough, okaa-san got to it before I did.

"Taichi-kun! How wonderful to see you!"

My heart jumped a little as I turned around to watch him walk through the door, a giant tub of ice cream under his arm and a small gift (I think it was a gift card to an electronics store; go figure) in his other hand. "Hi, Izumi-san," he greeted, slipping off his shoes.

"Hello, Izumi-san," I heard Hikari-san say from behind, holding Tailmon in her arms.

"Hi, guys." I smiled as they both walked over. "You can put your ice cream in the freezer until everyone gets here. And you can put the gift on the table in the living room."

"Okay," replied Taichi-san, first going over to the freezer.

"Will Tentomon be here?" Hikari-san asked, letting Tailmon jump down from her arms. We were lucky that my parents knew all about the Digimon and were comfortable with letting the younger kids bring their partners.

"No, unfortunately," I responded. "Although I did invite him, he insisted that he needed to continue his job of finding where the rest of the Holy Stones are."

Hikari-san nodded, turning somewhat solemn. "We went to look for another one this morning, but no luck. BlackWarGreymon was nowhere to be found, either."

"Ah," I acknowledged. "What about Archnemon and Mummymon?"

Both Hikari-san and Tailmon shook their heads. "No, we didn't see them, either," Tailmon replied.

"Aw, come on, guys!" Taichi-san exclaimed as he walked over. "I thought this was so we could take a break from all of that?"

Hikari-san sighed as she turned around. "I know, onii-chan, but the subject came up."

"Inevitably," I had to admit. It was what brought the Chosen Children together anyway.

"Well, when everyone gets here, I'm gonna make a rule: No talking about the Digital World!" he declared.

The three of us just looked at him in amusement. "Since when are you allowed to make rules in my house?" I had to ask.

"Eh, well…" He smiled sheepishly. "Then I _suggest_ that you make that rule."

I rolled my eyes. "Now see, it sounds like a good rule in theory, but it would be pretty hard to enforce."

"Besides, onii-chan," Hikari-san piped in, "this is about celebrating Koushirou-san's birthday more than anything else."

"I know," Taichi-san swiftly replied. "I just want to make sure he and everyone else aren't distracted from that fact." He turned to smile at me. "So Chocolate Chocolate Chip, huh?"

"Oh, of _course!_" okaa-san interjected. "It's _always_ been his favorite, ever since I can remember! Whenever he'd get it, he'd always eat it so fast that it would get all over his face!"

I winced as I flushed bright red in embarrassment; Taichi-san and Hikari-san were laughing.

"Oh…I'm sorry, Koushirou, did I embarrass you?" She looked at me with sincere worry.

But I just smiled and brushed it off. "It's okay, okaa-san."

Several other Chosen Children came within the next few minutes, and once everyone arrived, we all greeted Mimi-san as she came in through a gate from the Digital World.

Taichi-san had nudged me teasingly. "I bet she wore that shirt for you," he whispered to me, grinning.

I looked over at her and whispered back, "I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out, Taichi-san."

"Just doin' you a favor then!" He started snickering, but I just rolled my eyes and started back towards the kitchen.

Mimi-san _would_ wear a low-cut shirt in the middle of winter.

"Hey! Koushirou!" I heard Daisuke-kun call from behind me. "Can we eat the ice cream now?"

I smiled as I turned back around. "I was just going to set-up everything now."

"Alright!" Then he turned back to my room to scream, "HEY EVERYONE! ICE CREAM!"

"Wait, no-!" But it was too late. All of the Digimon immediately rushed past me, managed to open the freezer door, and knocked all of the ice cream cartons onto the floor. By the time everyone had gotten into the kitchen, they had opened up one of them and were licking it clean.

"No! My Chocolate Raspberry Truffle!" Jou-san lamented. "I was looking forward to that…"

"Poromon!" Miyako-kun scolded, scooping him up. "I can't believe you guys just did that. How rude!"

Poromon just looked sad and regretful, as did the rest of the Digimon. "Sorry, Miyako-san, we got carried away…"

But Miyako-kun's anger quickly disappeared. "It's okay, I guess." She turned back around to the rest of us. "Although, I can't say we didn't expect anything else."

We all chuckled a bit.

"Well, it made a great picture!" okaa-san exclaimed, holding up the camera with a smile.

"Oh, I wanna see!" Patamon exclaimed, the rest of the Digimon following him so they could see the pictures, too.

"Well, while they're preoccupied with that," Sora-san began, "why don't we set-up the ice cream for the rest of us?"

With everyone helping, we got the ice cream and the toppings set-up within a matter of minutes, and of course, Daisuke-kun and Chibimon began to fight for first in line.

"Hey, guys?" Yamato-san interrupted as they were tearing at each other's hair. "Why don't we let Koushirou go first? After all, it _is_ his birthday."

They blinked a few times as they looked over at him, then they separated immediately, looking apologetic. "Sorry, Koushirou!" Daisuke-kun said. "Happy birthday!"

I smiled and went a little red, knowing everyone's eyes were on me. "Thank you, Daisuke-kun."

"Then you get to pick who's second!" Daisuke-kun chirped.

_Oh, great._

A harder blush. It was becoming increasingly harder to hide it, too. _Taichi-san…_ was, of course, my first thought. But I didn't want to look suspicious! Well, wait, _would_ anyone find it suspicious? I mean, we were friends. It would be fine! But still, who knew? I didn't want to risk anything…

"Uh…I…"

"He wants to pick Mimi-chan!" Taichi-san suddenly cried, pushing Mimi-san behind me.

_Great. Thanks, Taichi-san._

But she didn't even say anything. She just kind of turned around and looked at Taichi-san as though he was crazy. (And now that I think about it, maybe she suspected my sexuality all the way back then, because it wasn't too long beforehand when she was convinced that I _did_ like her.)

"Then...free-for-all for the rest of us!" And Daisuke-kun jumped to third in line, making Chibimon pout as he stole fourth.

I just smiled and shook my head in amusement as I took a bowl and spoon and went over to my flavor. Three heaping scoops of Chocolate Chocolate Chip – that's all I needed. No toppings, nothing. I went over to sit on one of the chairs we had set out and prayed that Taichi-san would come over and sit next to me.

But once he was finished getting ice cream, he waited for Sora-san, and my heart sank.

_Oh, lighten up, Koushirou,_ I remember thinking to myself. _Sora-san is his friend, too..._

I sat there, watching everyone else get their ice cream. Okaa-san called over to me at some point, telling me that she was going to pick up something and would be back soon. I nodded, barely acknowledging her, for I was too busy wishing that Taichi-san would at least invite me over to join the conversation.

But he didn't. Instead, Jou-san came over to sit next to me, and he eagerly gobbled up his ice cream.

"So how old are you turning?" he asked, swallowing a mouthful.

"Fourteen," I told him, stealing another glance towards Taichi-san, who was laughing with Sora-san.

"Wow, seriously?" Jou-san was legitimately surprised. "That young? I always forget, since you're smarter than all of us combined..."

"Well, look at Ichijouji-kun," I pointed out, trying to change the subject. Flattery was always awkward for me.

"Ah, that's true. Well, you know what I mean, though." He took another bit of ice cream. "I heard he's been really helpful in the Digital World."

"Yeah..." I wasn't really listening. I was too distracted by Taichi-san's flirting with Sora-san.

_I thought I advised him to back off a bit..._

"Do you think the original Chosen Children will Jogress evolve? I mean, since Taichi and Yamato got to and all..."

Taichi-san was getting a little too close to Sora-san for my liking...

"No, I don't think so..."

Then, he put his hand on her shoulder.

And that was it for me.

"Excuse me, Jou-san..."

I got up and started heading over. But to look as inconspicuous as possible, I decided to make my way over slowly. So I walked over to Miyako-kun who was contemplating which ice cream flavor to get as seconds.

"Decisions, decisions," I commented as I approached her.

She looked up at and me and giggled. "So true! What do you suggest, Izumi-senpai?"

"I'd suggest Chocolate Chocolate Chip. It's my favorite."

"Bingo! Sounds good! After all, I like my ice cream black…like my men."

"Uh…" I didn't exactly know how to reply to that.

But Miyako-kun just burst out laughing. "Just kidding! I heard someone say something like that last night on TV." But she still decided to take a scoop of the flavor.

"Um...sure..." _Awkward?_ I chose to just stop delaying and walk over to Taichi-san, who was still laughing, but Sora-san looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Taichi-san, can I talk to you for a minute?"

They both looked over at me. "Sure, Koushirou." I motioned him to walk over to the living room, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sora-san walk over to Mimi-san.

"What's up, Koushirou?"

I looked him straight in the eye. "You seemed to be getting a little comfortable with Sora-san, didn't you?"

"What, jealous?" Taichi-san teased.

It always took a few moments to remind myself that he was simply joking when he said things like that. A small blush still present on my face: "You know what I mean, Taichi-san."

"I know." He gave a woeful sigh as he looked back at her. "It's like, I remembered what you said when I started talking to her, but it was like...I couldn't help it." He looked rather remorseful as he turned back to me. "I'm starting to think I'm a lost cause, Koushirou."

"You're not." I was so sick and tired of this conversation. "How about not even approaching her in the first place? I understand that you wouldn't want to end your friendship with her, but you could at least try for a little while."

"Yeah, I know... But like I said, it's really hard." His expression read: "Help me, Koushirou!" But the problem was that every time I tried to give him advice about Sora-san, he _rarely_ ever followed it. Not to mention that I had my own intentions when it came to the topic. But he didn't know that. He thought I was his unbiased voice of reason.

I just gave an exasperated sigh. "Well, what do you think you should do?"

"I dunno..." I saw him glance over at her, so I followed suite. She and Mimi-san were talking amicably. I looked back at him. "I mean... You're probably going to kill me for this, but you know what I was thinking?"

"Hmm?"

"That maybe I'd ask her to Yamato's concert next week... Don't give me that look, just hear me out. Look, for all the time I've liked her, we've just been friends. But I figure that if we're in a situation that makes us seem like _more_ than friends, I can see how I feel. See if it feels right, you know? For all I know, maybe I'll realize that we _are_ better off as friends. But if it's right...well, I'll figure it out."

I was immediately about to ask, "What if she says no?" But I stopped myself. My gut instinct? She _was_ going to say no. I knew she didn't look at Taichi-san the same way anymore. But that was just it: If she said no, would Taichi-san finally come to his senses? I knew it would be cruel to lead Taichi-san willingly into disappointment like that, but... I knew it was necessary. After all, he was constantly wondering about what to do concerning his feelings, and this would be a solution.

Even if I had to mislead him.

"Go ahead then."

"...Really? I mean, wow, I'm surprised you agree with me!"

I simply shrugged. "It doesn't hurt to try if you think it'll work."

"Well, I guess I will, then!"

"HEY!"

We both looked around to find Patamon trying to wipe ice cream off his belly. Across the room was Chibimon, his paw over his mouth, shocked as he stared at him.

"What happened!?" I exclaimed as we ran over.

"Chibimon was jumping on the ice cream scoop to get ice cream out, but it kind of flung across the room..." Takeru-kun explained to us, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Hey! What was that for!?"

We looked back – and _Chibimon_ was covered in ice cream. Patamon had ice cream scoop in his tiny hands and a smirk on his face.

"That's not nice!" And back went another scoop of ice cream, except this time Patamon ducked, and it hit Upamon in the face.

But he simply licked it all up. "Yummy, da'gya!" he exclaimed happily.

Patamon flung another scoop of ice cream anyway, and that's when Daisuke-kun and Takeru-kun decided to step in.

"Alright, Patamon, that's eno-"

Unfortunately for Takeru-kun, he had decided to walk over just as Chibimon had launched some more ice cream. It was dripping all over his face.

"Sorry, Takeru!" Daisuke-kun called back. "He didn't mean to hit you."

We all looked back at Takeru-kun.

And suddenly, he put on a mischievous smirk.

_Splat!_

"What the hell was that for!?" Daisuke-kun cried as he frantically tried to get the ice cream out of his hair. "That was totally unnecessary!"

But Takeru-kun just laughed as Patamon decided to throw back more ice cream, and Upamon decided to join in, too. Tailmon joined their team as well, while Minomon and Poromon went over to Chibimon and Daisuke-kun's side.

"Wait, guys-!" But nothing I could say was able to stop the then-inevitable ice cream fight.

"Hey, watch where you're throwing!" Yamato-san cried as a scoop of ice cream narrowly missed his hair.

"Oh! My shirt! It was brand new, too!" Mimi-san cried as ice cream soiled her shirt.

"Aw, come on, Mimi-chan, lighten up!" Sora-san laughed as she placed some of her ice cream on a spoon and catapulted it towards Hikari-san.

"Hey! Why me?" But Hikari-san wasn't actually mad; instead, she decided to retaliate.

"Guys! You're going to make my house a mess! My mom is gonna kill me!" But my voice was too quiet over the laughter. I just stood there, mortified, as everyone – even Taichi-san – decided to join this ice cream battle. I gaped at the ice cream on the walls, the cabinets, the stove, and even some on the carpet in the living room.

Then I heard the front door open.

"Koushirou! I'm-! ...Oh, my..."

Everyone looked over to okaa-san, and there almost seemed to be a unison hum of a guilty, "Uh..." But Chibimon, of course, paid no mind to it. Instead, he decided to walk over innocently and ask what was in the box she was holding.

"What's that?" he inquired, pulling at her skirt and pointing at the box.

"Huh? Oh..." She looked down at him. "It's an ice cream cake for Koushirou."

There was silence. A few Chosen Children looked back at me. Then they looked at each other.

Then they grinned, sly, borderline evil looks on their faces. And they nodded.

"Um...guys...?"

But they were too busy taking the ice cream cake from okaa-san.

"What are you doing...?"

When they all turned back around, they all had a handful of ice cream cake in their hands.

"Oh, no..."

And before I knew it, I was _covered_, and I mean _covered_, in chocolate ice cream cake. While I was trying to get it out of my eyes, they were throwing every possible dessert item they could at me, coating me in ice cream, sprinkles, whipped cream, and even a few cherries.

"Here, Chocolate Chocolate Chip is his favorite! Cover him in that!"

_Thanks a lot, Taichi-san._

By the time I was able to finally open my eyes without any stinging, everyone was in absolute _hysterics_, back to throwing ice cream at each other, and okaa-san – _okaa-san_ – was having the time of her life taking pictures.

"Well, looks like _you_ turned into the cake!" Taichi-san exclaimed, running over to me. "So I thought the candles needed to be relocated..."

"Taichi-san!" But he was already busy sticking candles everywhere he could, laughing as he did so.

I gave up trying to fight it. When he was finished with his work, I simply commented, monotone, "I hope you're not planning on lighting those candles."

"Nah, don't worry, they're symbolic enough." He laughed. "Unless you really do want to blow out the candles."

"I'll pretend." I smiled. "I can still make a wish without doing so."

"Haha, true!" He grinned. "What would you wish for?"

My smile grew wider, knowing my immediate thoughts. "I thought the rule was that if I told you, it won't come true."

He just laughed. "I was just hoping you'd tell me!"

Then a thought struck me. "But there is _one_ wish I could tell you..."

He seemed extremely interested. "And that would be?"

My smile evolved into a grin. Then I raised my voice so everyone could hear. "I wish everyone would throw everything in their hands right now at Taichi-san!"

And everyone heard me. And of course, everyone did so.

"You suck, Koushirou!" he cried as he licked some hot fudge off of his fingers.

I just laughed. "It's called karma, Taichi-san."

"I thought it was called caramel?" He gave me a goofy grin as he held up his arm, which was covered in caramel sauce.

I just sighed in amusement. "Lame, Taichi-san."

"Yeah, I know."

But we just looked at each other and laughed.

"Hey! When do we get to eat the cake?" I heard Minomon ask.

"We threw all the cake at Koushirou!" Tailmon responded.

"Oh..." Minomon sounded kind of disappointed.

"Then we can just eat Koushirou!" Chibimon cried.

"No!" Taichi-san cried, suddenly grabbing my wrist. "He's _my_ delicious Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Ice Cream Cake, Koushirou Sundae!" Taichi-san exclaimed, grabbing a whole container of chocolate sprinkles from the floor and pouring it on my head. "With extra sprinkles, please!" And he winked at me.

I blushed _bright_ red. In fact, my face was so hot I thought it was going to melt the glob of ice cream stuck to my cheek.

But Taichi-san was just laughing. And everyone else was laughing, too. And then, I was laughing.

And then okaa-san took a picture.

_Snap!_


	28. The Third Dream

_Dream #3: Of Slow Dancing and Dance Dance Revolution_

* * *

The first day of school had never been one of my strong points. It was one of those days that I looked forward to during the summer, but when I was actually sitting at a new desk, surrounded by the same classmates I always had but never talked to, glancing up at the clock every five minutes, I couldn't help but wish it was summer again.

What was even worse was the ritual bedlam of students clamoring around the large bulletin boards to see which class they would be in that year. I always started at the B class list – just so I wouldn't get my hopes up – but inevitably I would find myself towards the top of the A class. Not the _very_ top; I had to save myself that embarrassment. But high up there.

The beginning of ninth grade was just that. I had walked to my new school – the high school – feeling more nervous than usual because it was a completely new setting. I could have probably attended a rather prestigious, private high school like Jou-san, but I didn't think it was necessary. I knew that I would most likely do very well on any college entrance exam.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. The people in the junior high computer club ensured me that I would be welcomed by the club up there, plus I also had the older Chosen Children to help me. But still, it was a nagging feeling I couldn't shake.

I could see the crowd long before I had even set foot on the school's campus. But I didn't head to my grade's bulletin boards first. I was too curious to see what class Taichi-san had. Sure, I wanted to know because it was _Taichi-san_, but the year before, I had helped him study for exams an awful lot.

I scanned for his name, and being unusually optimistic, decided to start in the C class. He wasn't there, but Yamato-san was. Then I looked in the D class. My heart was pounding as I didn't see his name. _I know how badly he didn't want to be in the E class again..._ But yes! There it was, the second-to-last name on the list. I beamed. Sure, he wasn't at the top, but he was in!

"Koushirou-kun! What are you doing over here?"

I turned around to find Sora-san approaching, pushing her way by the other students. I smiled and replied, "I was just curious to see the classes of everyone else."

"Oh! Have you found my name?" she asked.

I shook my head no. "No, but Yamato-san is in the C class and Taichi-san is in the D class."

"Aw, Yamato-kun didn't get into the B class?" Sora-san asked sadly. "He had been really hoping for that. I helped him study a lot last year."

"I remember that, Sora-san. I'm sorry," I responded, nodding.

"I'm usually in the B class, and it would have been really great if we could've been in the same class." She paused as she looked up at me. "But wait, Taichi went up a class? That's great!"

"Yeah!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. "He studied so hard last year, and I'm glad it _did_ pay-off somewhat."

She nodded in agreement. "Definitely! Well, I'm going to go look for my name, if you don't mind."

"Of course, go right ahead. Hopefully I'll see you later!"

"See you, Koushirou-kun!" And she disappeared into the mob of students.

Suddenly, from behind me, I heard a female, high-pitched voice I didn't recognize stutter, "H-Hi, Taichi-senpai!"

I glanced over and found a girl, most likely a ninth grader like myself, blushing and giggling as Taichi-san and Yamato-san started pushing their way to the front.

"Hey, what's up?" Taichi-san responded coolly, not paying her too much attention. But I couldn't help but narrow my eyes at her.

Yamato-san had worse luck, though. His band was entering the height of its popularity, and he didn't walk by any student in the school without going unnoticed. That day was no exception, but he passed by all of his admiring fans without a word.

Taichi-san's eyes found me, and I couldn't help but blush a bit. He had been at an overnight soccer camp for the last couple of weeks, so I hadn't seen him in awhile. It was good for my eyes to grace his majesty again.

"Koushirou! Good to see you, man!" he greeted me with a slap on the back. "How was the end of your summer?"

"Rather uneventful, to be honest," I admitted, my stomach going crazy at our closeness. "How was your soccer camp?"

"It was awesome! They had this coach come in who had helped train the Japanese soccer team for the World Cup a few years ago, and he was amazing!"

"And that's all he talked about on the way here," Yamato-san put in.

"Oh, shut up, Yamato, all _you_ talk about is your band and Sora!"

"That's not true!"

"Hey, come on, guys." I tried to calm them down. While they were good friends, they still had the tendency to get into fruitless arguments. "No need to begin the first day of school on a bad foot."

Their shoulders fell and they nodded. "Yeah, alright," Taichi-san said.

"Well, I already looked at the class lists, and Taichi-san, you're-"

"No! Don't ruin the suspense!" Taichi-san exclaimed, suddenly remembering. "I wanna see for myself!"

"Yeah, for me, too!" Yamato agreed.

But I couldn't help but sigh – half in disbelief, half in amusement – as they both immediately went up to the A class list. But I decided to not say anything; they'd figure it out for themselves.

They weren't so _terribly_ disappointed when they didn't see their names, but their faces just looked more and more crestfallen as they went down the lists. Yamato-san sighed when he saw his name on the C class list.

"Man, I was really hoping I'd be with Sora this year," he lamented.

"Aw, it's okay, Yamato-kun," Sora-san said, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "You'll do well in whatever class you're in!" I could almost _feel_ the glares from the surrounding fangirls.

Yamato-san smiled as he turned around and hugged her. "Thanks. I saw you're in the B class again."

"Yeah!" Sora-san replied enthusiastically. "I'm kind of happy I didn't get in the A class. All of those people always seem like they're overloaded with work."

I was going to make a comment about how that was completely ridiculous, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

I turned to find Taichi-san again, and I saw him looking at the D class list, looking disgruntled. But then his eyes found his name, and he whooped for joy.

"Koushirou! Did you see!? I did it!" He ran over to me, grabbed me, and spun me around in the midst of his excitement. I was caught off-guard and proceeded to turn a bright shade of red. "I can't believe it! I'm _actually_ not in the E class this year!"

"Th-That's great, Taichi-san!" I replied, breathless, feeling all of the stares on us and hearing the chorus of giggles.

Yamato-san laughed. "That's odd, I could've _sworn_ you'd get into the F class..."

"Oh, shut up, Yamato!"

But he and Sora-san continued to chuckle.

Taichi-san turned back to me and said, "I really owe you one. If you want me to do anything for you, just name it!"

A million inappropriate things ran through my mind.

But instead I said, "Don't worry, Taichi-san, you don't have to do anything. Just the satisfaction of knowing that our work paid-off is enough."

"Aww, you're too much, Koushirou-kun!" Sora-san complemented.

"No way, Koushirou. I'm gonna thank you _somehow_, you hear me?"

I sighed in amusement. "Whatever you say, Taichi-san."

"Oh yeah, Koushirou, what class did you get in?" Yamato-san asked.

"Psht, why would you even ask that? Of course he got in the A class!" Taichi-san exclaimed.

I flushed a little as I replied, "Um...I actually haven't checked yet."

"WHAT!?" was the unison response from all three of my friends.

"Then go check right now!" Taichi-san cried, pushing me towards the ninth grade bulletin boards.

I nodded and walked over, continuing my tradition by starting with the B class. No "Izumi Koushirou." Then I looked at the A class. And once again, there I was, underneath the same four names as the past three years.

"So, did you get into the A class, Koushirou-kun?" Sora asked me as I walked back to them.

I nodded shyly. "Yeah."

"See, what'd I tell ya?" Taichi-san immediately commented, punching my shoulder. "Wouldn't expect anything less!"

I blushed a little. "Thanks, Taichi-san."

"Well, we better get to our classes," Sora-san said, looking at the time.

"Yeah, we probably should. See you guys later," Yamato-san said. And they both walked away, hand-in-hand, towards the tenth grade classes.

I started to feel nervous again. I glanced all around me, not recognizing anyone, starting to the dread the following hours to come.

"Hey, don't sweat it, Koushirou."

I looked up at my Taichi-san. He smiled. "You'll be fine. I'm sure of it. Do you want to hang out after school? We can go to the arcade at the mall or something."

My stomach flipped at the thought, and I smiled, happy that I would be able to look forward to something. "That sounds great, Taichi-san."

~*~

High school wasn't as bad as I expected. The computer club did indeed welcome me with the utmost respect and excitement, and I couldn't help but flush when some of the upperclassmen called me "Izumi-senpai." I had been hoping that the classes would be a bit more challenging, but I was, once again, disappointed and proceeded to work ahead in almost all of them.

I was feeling somewhat optimistic and content...that is, until Taichi-san waved the poster in front of my face.

"This is how I'm gonna repay you, Koushirou!" he had said excitedly.

I raised an eyebrow at the poster. "Back-to-school dance...how is that repaying me?"

"I'm gonna teach you how to dance, _duh!_"

I blinked at the poster in disbelief. "Um, thanks for the offer, Taichi-san, but-"

"No way. I am _not_ taking 'no' for an answer." He put down his arm and revealed his face, and that's when I realized that he was completely serious.

"T-Taichi-san, why-?"

"'Cause then you'll actually have fun at the dance, and you won't be so shy to ask a chick to dance with you!" He beamed, giving me one of his flawless grins, confident in his idea.

I shook my head in disbelief. _Oh, my Taichi-san._ "And what if I have no interest in going to the dance in the first place?"

"Trust me, I'm doing you a favor. You need to loosen up once in awhile!"

I knew he had good intentions, but I couldn't help but remember the last time he had convinced me to go to a school dance. I had just ended up sitting against the wall, disgusted by the way kids dance in our present day. And if I recalled correctly, Taichi-san hadn't been such a great dancer himself...nor had he scored a date. (At least, he hadn't scored anyone he _actually_ would be willing to take; being the soccer team's star player had given him plenty of options.)

But then I couldn't help but think...if he wanted to teach me how to dance, that meant I could spend more time with him...

"Alright, then."

"Aw, come on, Koushirou! Don't you-?" He stopped, and his expression morphed into one of disbelief. "Did...did you actually just _agree_ to this?"

I nodded and shrugged. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

"Yes!" Taichi-san cheered, throwing a fist of victory into the air.

"But I'd still rather go to the arcade for right now," I said. I didn't want to sacrifice doing something I actually enjoyed for dancing lessons.

"Okay, that's totally cool." He grinned at me again. "I'm up for some ass-whooping."

"I'm shocked, considering that _I'm _the expert in that particular field."

"Psht, not this time!"

I laughed. "You say that every time..."

~*~

The sun was starting to teeter on the horizon when we both had decided to take a break from arcade games and rest our fingers. We didn't know how much money we had spent on game tokens, and we weren't about to check. We simply sat on a bench, sipping some soda, watching as the lights flashed around us.

"So," I decided to say, "was I right about the ass-whooping?"

Taichi-san gasped in mockery. "_Izumi Koushirou_ cursing? Someone pinch me; am I dreaming?"

I rolled my eyes, but not without a faint blush. "Avoiding the subject, I see."

"Yeah, well, I let you win 'cause you helped me move up a class."

"_Right._"

We both just grinned, because we knew how untrue it was.

"So will you be ready for your dance training tomorrow?" Taichi-san asked, the grin still plastered on his face.

But I just sighed. "I suppose."

"Hey, now, no reason to get all down. It'll be awesome."

"I'm just wondering, though... How are you actually going to teach me, Taichi-san? I mean..." I blushed harder at the thought. "I've seen the way a lot of kids dance..." And Taichi-san wasn't innocent of it, either.

"Oh, no, grinding is as lame as hell," Taichi-san replied immediately. "And I knew you wouldn't be up for it. I'm gonna teach you how to dance on your own so you can impress all the ladies!"

I raised an eyebrow again. "Because _you're_ such a _premier danseur?_"

"Huh?"

I paused, smiling. "_You're_ such a great dancer?"

"Have you seen me dance? Hell yeah, I am!"

I decided not to comment on that.

"Aw, come on, I promise I won't embarrass you or anything..." Suddenly, he trailed off.

I looked at him. "What is it?"

Then suddenly, he grinned – that all-too-familiar grin. "I'VE GOT IT!"

I jumped in my seat as he ran from his, and I watched in extreme curiosity until he stopped at one of the games.

Dance Dance Revolution.

"Taichi-san, that's not going to teach me how to dance," I called as I began to walk over, shaking my head in amusement. "It doesn't actually teach you dance moves."

"I know, but it's a good start, don't you think?" We both looked at the current player, who was easily defeating an extremely difficult level. The sweat on his brow was starting to stream down his face.

"I don't know about this, Taichi-san..."

"Aww, come on, I'll do it with you! Here, hold on a minute."

He quickly ran over to the machine to get more tokens while I just stood there, watching the player. I looked at his feet, which were almost like blurs, and shook my head.

"Here, I just got a crapload more tokens." He jingled them in his hand.

The player finished the level and, acknowledging us, stepped off and walked away.

"Come on, get on!" Taichi-san encouraged me as he stepped onto the player one space. "I've done this a couple times, it's not that hard."

I hesitated as I watched him put in the tokens and select the multiplayer option. Then I stepped onto the player two platform.

"That's the spirit! You know how to play, right?"

"Trust me, Taichi-san, it's pretty self-explanatory." _Ah, I didn't mean to say it like that..._

"Well, good, then. Any particular song requests?"

I looked at the screen and glanced at the song names. "You really think I'd recognize any of these songs?" _Why am I being so bitter today?_

"Skeptical, I see. Well, I'll just pick a random one, then. You're on the 'beginner' level, right?"

"I sure hope so." Luckily, I was.

"Alright, let's do this!" Taichi-san exclaimed, almost reminiscent of going into a battle in the Digital World.

The first song was easy enough. Since I, surprisingly, had a sense of rhythm, it wasn't difficult to just tap whichever button was necessary when the corresponding arrow reached the top of the screen. In fact, I felt that it was so easy that when the screen for the next song came up, I decided to go up to the next level.

Taichi-san was surprised. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, focused on the screen. "Of course."

He chuckled. "_Someone's_ getting into it."

"No, I just found that level to be too easy." I looked over at him and smirked. "I got an _A_, and you got a _C_, which actually astounds me because I couldn't imagine_ anyone_ doing poorly on that level unless they had an extreme lack of rhythm."

Taichi-san looked insulted at first, but then he appropriately decided to take that as a challenge. "Give me one more song, then I'll be able to move on."

"Fine." I turned back to the screen and waited as he chose the next song.

I only got a _B_ that time, but I felt as though it wouldn't be hard to master that level.

Turns out I was right. By the time Taichi-san's mother called, demanding that he come home, I was doing rather well on the level after that, Taichi-san not far behind me.

"How long were we playing that?" Taichi-san asked as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Not sure," I admitted, almost feeling as though I was back in the Digital World, for I wasn't used to being that out-of-breath and sweaty. "I'd say probably two hours."

"Dang. Thank goodness that was money my parents gave me."

I looked over at him. "All of that was your _parents' money?_"

"Yeah." He looked back at me as though it was no big deal. "What about it?"

"It's just..." I hesitated, fidgeting a bit. Then I murmured, "I don't want you spending your parents' money on me."

"Hey, don't worry about it!" Taichi-san said enthusiastically. "I had fun playing it, too! I mean, they _did_ give me the money to spend it, and what else am I gonna spend it on?"

"I dunno, isn't there a cool video game you've really wanted or something?"

"Not really. Nothing good has come out..." He trailed off, and suddenly, he got that _look_ again.

I sighed. "What is it now, Taichi-san?"

But without a word, he grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the video game store.

~*~

For the next two weeks, I went over to Taichi-san's apartment after school when possible, practicing Dance Dance Revolution using his new mats and game. Even Hikari-san got into it, but neither of them could ever beat me, though Taichi-san would get close.

"Why do you have to be kickass at, like, _every_ video game you play?" Taichi-san would lament after several futile rounds of trying to defeat me.

At first, I had been skeptical as to how good I could get within those two weeks, but by the night before the dance, I was able to play some of the songs on the highest level. I knew that it wasn't going to make me a better dancer, but I had to admit...it was fun. Especially since I was spending time with Taichi-san.

"You know, Taichi-san," I pointed out to him that night while we were taking a break, "that you haven't taught me a single real dance move, right?"

"Psht, you and I _both_ know that this is a lot more fun," he said before taking a long swig of water. "Besides, I have plans."

"Oh? And those plans are?"

"I'm gonna get the TV that's in the gym storage closet – you know, the one we use for the lame workout videos and stuff? – and hook it up to my game system. I'll bring everything, and then everyone will be _amazed_ at our DDR skills!" He beamed.

My stomach churned at the thought of a large amount of people watching me. "You...you sure you won't get in trouble?"

"Psht, nah, why would I?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Well, I admit that if I _am_ going to attend this function, I'd rather play Dance Dance Revolution than embarrass myself _actually_ trying to dance."

"Now wait just one second. You don't think you're getting away with not _actually_ dancing, are you?" He gave me a sly smile.

Well, this can't be good. "Oh?"

"Yeah." He put down his glass of water and grinned at me. "I _at_ _least_ have to teach you how to slow dance."

I _immediately_ blushed a bright red. "You're...you're kidding, right?"

"Of course not."

I was starting to shake in nervousness. This was_ not_ going to end well. "A-And how are you going to go about doing this? H-Hikari-san isn't here, and-"

"You'll just dance with me! Oh, come on, don't look so mortified, it'll be fine!"

But how could I _not_ be mortified? "B-But Taichi-san, I'm so much shorter than you, and it'll just be awkward!"

"Aw, come on, we're both comfortable enough with our own straightness to be cool with this."

_YEAH, OKAY._

"Besides, it's really not that hard. I just wanna make sure you don't _completely_ screw-up the first time you do it. Now come on."

He headed towards his room, but I could only stand there, frozen, perspiring not from the game, but from the fear. I didn't know _what_ could potentially result from this! What if I did something impulsive and stupid?

And then, a completely unfathomable idea struck me: What if he's so eager to do this because...?

No. Of course not. I accepted long ago that such a thing would never happen.

But...the idea of slow dancing with Taichi-san...

At least I could pretend.

So I followed him into his room.

He was in the closet rummaging through some CDs, and some of which clearly hadn't been touched in years. "I know Hikari has some of that slow crap in here somewhere..." he was muttering to himself, and I blushed again. He was actually going to get music and everything?

"Ah, here we go!"

He emerged with a CD in his hand; I didn't recognize the artist. He walked over to his stereo and popped it in, and then he studied the CD case for a moment, trying to pick a song.

Attempting to lighten up the mood, I joked, "You're actually familiar with the songs on that CD?"

"Hey, now, there was a period of time when Hikari would play this thing _constantly!_ Luckily that's long over with. There's a song on here I remember that would be good... Ah, here we go!"

He set down the CD case and turned it to that song, and suddenly the sound of violins, a piano, and some wind instruments filled the room.

"Don't be shy, Koushirou. That's the first thing! When you ask a girl to dance with you, you have to be confident."

"Wait a minute, Taichi-san," I interrupted. "There _isn't_ a girl I want to ask."

"Mhmm, that's what they all say." So he thought that I had a crush on a girl again. Well, maybe it was better that way. I could always come up with excuses not to ask anyone; it's not like he could _force_ me.

"Okay, so the guy puts his arms on the girl's shoulders. No wait, that's not right...you put your hands on her waist!" He paused and looked at me. "Right?"

"I thought _you_ were supposed to be teaching _me_," I teased him.

"Yeah, you put your hands on her waist." He took a step towards me. "So go ahead."

I swallowed. Then, hands shaking, I reached out and placed my hands very lightly around Taichi-san's waist, my arms fully extended.

"Aw, don't be so junior high!" He suddenly took hold of my shoulders and pulled me closer. I about lost my breath, and my cheeks were incredibly and uncontrollably hot.

"There. So the girl puts her hands on your shoulders." He did so. "Now, all you have to do is listen to the music and kind of sway back and forth to the beat."

So that's what we did, and it couldn't have been stranger, nor more nerve-wracking. I was so afraid he would feel how hard and how fast my heart was beating – that's how petrified I was. I tried my hardest to savor the moment, for I doubted that another one would come along, but I was too anxious, too breathless.

Then suddenly he said, "Hey...can we switch roles for a bit?"

My heart almost jumped out of its chest. "O-Okay..."

My hands shifted to his shoulders, and then I felt his hands curl around my waist. Ten billion questions ran through my mind.

_Why is he doing this?_

_Is he practicing, too?_

_What if he's pretending...like I'm pretending...?_

Then he pulled me closer, and my head inexplicably rested on his chest. And for a few moments – I savored him.

Then the song ended, and he pulled away.

I looked up at him, my face red, my breath gone, my heart not beating. "T-Taichi-san...?"

"Did I lead okay?"

"Y-Yes, Taichi-san, but why-?"

"Do you think Sora would've liked it?"

Then everything came crashing down.

I felt like crying. _Of course it's for Sora-san! It's _always _for Sora-san! How could you think it was for _you_, stupid Koushirou! _I wanted to scream at him, scream as loud as I could for teasing me like that, but instead: "I-I don't know. I wouldn't advise asking her, though."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "I was just wondering."

"A-Are you going to ask anyone else?" I at least wanted to prepare myself for that jealousy.

"I don't know yet. We'll see." He walked over to the stereo and turned it off. "Want to go practice DDR one last time?"

"N-No, that's okay. I think I'll retire for the night."

"Ah, okay."

I went back into the living room, gathered up my things, slipped on my shoes, and started heading out the door.

"Meet me here at 19 o' clock, alright?" said Taichi-san.

"Sounds good. See you tomorrow."

And with that, still shaking, I left.

~*~

I decided to dress in a nice, but short-sleeved, shirt and one of my only pairs of jeans. The last time I had been dragged to a dance, Taichi-san had sent me marching back to my apartment to change out of my khakis (which were apparently "too nice" for a school dance) into jeans. I wasn't going to make that mistake this time.

I rang the doorbell, and Hikari-san was the one to open it.

"You look great, Koushirou-san!" she exclaimed as she saw me. "Onii-chan is getting all of the video game stuff together."

"Thanks, Hikari-san." I walked past her, took off my shoes, and met Taichi-san in the living room, where I found him trying to stuff the mats and video game system all into one backpack.

"That can't be good for the mats," I comment.

"Ugh, forget it," he huffed, sitting back in frustration.

"A gym bag might be more convenient?" I suggest.

"Ah! Good idea!" He quickly jumped up from his spot and ran towards his room, and I just watched him, shaking my head.

_He lacks such common sense sometimes..._

And he further proved that by dumping all of his soccer gear into the middle of the living room to make space for the video game equipment.

His mom was in the kitchen, and she looked over disapprovingly. "You know you're cleaning that up when you get back, right, Yagami Taichi?"

"Yeah, yeah," came Taichi-san's half-hearted response as he put the stuff in the bag and zipped it up. "Looks like that's everything! Ready to go, Koushirou?"

I nodded. "I'm ready."

"Good luck, you guys!" Hikari-san piped as we started walking towards the door.

"Taichi, you better be careful with that stuff!" his mom called.

"Don't worry," I called back, "I'll make sure he will."

"See ya!" Taichi-san waved back to them, quickly slipping on his opening the door. And I followed suit.

He rambled on about how excited he was on the way there, although when he started making conjectures as to who was going to ask whom to dance, I just listened. I didn't know the majority of the names anyway.

When we arrived at the school lobby, we handed in our tickets, Taichi-san getting a bit of a suspicious look from the chaperone.

"Don't worry! I'm just dropping off my soccer stuff while I'm at it!" Taichi-san said, most likely answering the question that was running through the chaperone's head. The chaperone nodded and waved us on.

"I'm going to go find the TV. You go on ahead and find Yamato and Sora." And before I could acknowledge his statement, he was off.

They hadn't opened the doors to the gym yet, where the dancing would be taking place, so I found Yamato-san by the snacks in an adjacent hallway. Sora-san was already there with him. He was chatting with some of his other friends, but Sora-san didn't seem to be partaking in their conversation. She spotted me as I walked over and smiled.

"Hey, Koushirou-kun!"

"Hi, Sora-san," I greeted her.

"Where's Taichi? Don't tell me he copped out on the 'big surprise' you guys had planned!"

"No," I assured her, feeling some of Taichi-san's slyness slip onto my lips. "He's just setting it up."

"'Setting it up,' huh? Well, now I'm _definitely_ curious." She returned my smile. "No laptop involved? That's surprising."

I laughed. "No, not this time. In fact, you might think it's a bit out-of-character for me."

"Really now? Why's that?"

"Ah, well, if Taichi-san hadn't convinced me, it wouldn't be an activity in which I would usually participate."

It was Sora-san's turn to laugh. "What kind of bribe did he offer you?"

"None, actually," I admitted.

"Wow, I'm surprised you gave in so easily." She raised an eyebrow.

I blushed a little. "It's not _completely_ ridiculous, I can assure you," I said nervously.

"Well, of course it's not. You're smarter than that, Mr. A Class," she teased. She glanced towards Yamato-san. "Now if only my date will start paying attention to me..." she mused out loud.

I had to laugh. "I know he will, Sora-san."

She giggled. "I know he will, too." And with a wink, she walked back over to Yamato-san.

I stood there and sighed, hoping Taichi-san would get there soon. I knew I was going to be stuck standing alone until he did. But luckily only a few minutes later, he reappeared rolling the TV against a wall which had an outlet.

I ran over to him to set-up the system as quickly as possible. Luckily, it didn't take too long to figure everything out, and within minutes we had the game up and running.

A curious crowd had already started to form, and Sora-san was leading Yamato-san over. There were murmurs of excitement when the Dance Dance Revolution screen came up, and one student walked over to us.

"Dude! I didn't hear there was going to be DDR here! Can I play?"

"Uh...maybe later?" I didn't know what to say. We had forgotten to consider that other students may have wanted to play as well.

"Koushirou, just tell them no," Taichi-san muttered to me.

"No, it's okay, Taichi-san. Maybe some people can play while we take a break. I'm not playing DDR for two and a half hours straight without resting."

"Alright, alright." He set-up versus mode. "Ready?" My Taichi-san grinned at me, the TV screen casting a light onto his face.

I smiled back and nodded. I was actually…excited. I could feel my stomach churn in a sort of pleasant anxiety, like before a big fight in the Digital World. However, those fights were necessary, yet not exactly desired. This was different. I had something to prove.

Taichi-san went to the songs and scrolled down to our best song.

"You sure you want to start with that?" I asked him. "Maybe we should save it for later, like a finale or something."

"Nah, we should give 'em a good show while we have their attention." Taichi-san grinned again. "Besides, if we do it at the end, we might be too tired to do our best."

"You have a point." I set it to the hardest level, as did he. He wasn't as great as I was on that level, but he still performed well.

"Dude, are you guys _seriously_ telling me that you're as good as those crazy kids at the mall?" Yamato-san called to us, incredulous, yet mocking at the same time. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

"Aw, come on, Yamato-kun," Sora-san said. "That's not an easy thing to accomplish."

"My point exactly." Yamato-san was rolling his eyes when I looked back at him. "What inspired you to do _this?_"

"I'll explain later," Taichi-san snapped, flashing Yamato a mischievous grin. "Just shut up and watch."

And he selected the song.

~*~

I was catching my breath as I wiped sweat off my brow, watching Taichi-san compete against a fellow soccer teammate. I had no idea how long it had been, nor had I been aware of anything that was going on in the gym. Taichi-san and I had just been focused on the game, taking breaks every so often. We played against other people, too, and almost always came out victorious.

We had a pretty consistent crowd. Of course, many people had gone back into the gym to dance themselves. But Taichi-san was good at riling them up, and he would often bow and encourage me to do so as well. I'd give a little timid head bob, but no more. I mostly shrunk back, muttering thank yous.

"Dude, get off the mat, Yagami," one kid suddenly yelled. "The other kid is better than you."

"I know," Taichi-san replied, somewhat stern, not keeping his eyes off the screen. "And his name isn't 'other kid.' It's Izumi Koushirou."

I was thankful for my flushed cheeks to hide my true blush.

"Alright, I'm exhausted," Taichi-san announced as he finished the round, again the winner. Yamato-san and Sora-san had just emerged from the gym and were watching. "So what'd ya think?"

"That you're insane." Yamato-san shook his head. "But that's nothing new."

"Hey!"

"But I have to say," he began as he turned towards me, "that I had _no idea_ Koushirou could move like that."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just laughed sheepishly in flattery. Sora-san giggled at this, and I flushed red again in embarrassment.

"Psht, you're surprised?" Taichi-san responded. "I was telling him the other day that he has to stop being so good at like, every video game on the planet."

Yamato-san laughed. "Then I can't say I'm surprised."

"You guys wanna try?" he asked them, motioning towards the game.

"Nah, that's okay," Yamato-san replied. "The dance is gonna end in like fifteen minutes anyway."

"Whoa, seriously!?" Taichi-san's mouth dropped open in shock. "Koushirou, what time is it?"

"Let me check." I went over to Taichi-san's gym bag to search for my cell phone. I looked at the time and my eyes widened.

_He wasn't kidding…_

"21:44, Taichi-san."

"_Wow._" Taichi-san wiped his own sweat-coated forehead on the sleeve of his shirt. "That went by _fast_."

"Yeah." I looked at the snack vendors and saw that they were starting to clean up, and everyone had walked away from the game, probably to dance one more time before they headed home.

"Well, we're probably gonna head out soon," Yamato-san said.

"Yeah," agreed Sora-san, nodding.

"Alright, go ahead then. Just remember to use protection." Taichi-san started laughing.

Yamato-san and Sora-san both rolled their eyes, but they still turned red. "Well, see ya," said Yamato-san.

"Bye, guys!" echoed Sora-san, and she took his arm and walked with him around the corner.

"Well…I'd say that was pretty successful," I commented after they had gone.

"They loved us!" He slapped me on the back happily. "What'd I tell ya!?"

I smiled as I looked up at him. "I had fun, Taichi-san."

"Same here. Now I don't know about you, but I _really_ need a drink." He turned towards the snack vendors. "Hey! Make sure no one takes this stuff!" He pointed to the game and they nodded in acknowledgement.

We walked over to a water fountain and he took a long sip. "_Ah!_ I needed that."

I took my turn as well, and when I straightened back up, I saw that he was lost in thought.

"Taichi-san?"

"I just realized something…"

"Hmm?"

Then suddenly, he turned to me and gave that sly smile once more. "We missed all of the slow songs."

_Thank Kami-sama!_ "Ah…yes, I suppose we did."

"Too bad you didn't get to ask anyone to dance with you. That means I slow danced with you for nothing!"

I blushed as I thought of it. "Well, that wasn't necessarily my fault. I _told_ you I wasn't planning on asking anyone."

Taichi-san just shook his head. "Come on, there had to be _someone_."

"Sorry to disappoint you." I was playing along more than anything. "And before you ask, no. I don't like Mimi-san."

Taichi-san burst into laughter. "I figured that out awhile ago."

"Took you look enough!" I huffed in frustration.

"You guys would have been a weird-ass couple anyway."

"_You're_ telling _me_ this?"

He laughed again. "Sorry about that, man. Now that I think about it, you liking Mimi-chan would be pretty weird."

"Again: _You're_ telling _me_ this?"

"Yeah, guess you're right." He just chuckled. I was just thankful he was finally over that.

"So what about you, Taichi-san? Were you planning on asking anyone?" I had to ask.

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Oh, why not?"

"No one to ask."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

He paused for a moment, and we just exhaled slowly, finally realizing that our heart rates were back to normal.

"We should pack up."

"Yeah."

We headed back to the game and shut everything down, then placing it into Taichi-san's bag. Taichi-san went to put the TV away while I waited.

I decided to look around the corner to the hallway where people were leaving. Not too many were, but I did spot Sora-san and Yamato-san, who just seemed to be enjoying themselves by talking before going their separate ways. I smiled, although I couldn't help but sigh as I pictured Taichi-san and I standing in their places. But I didn't feel like getting caught-up in my fruitless dreams.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah." I turned around to Taichi-san. "Are you?"

"Yeah…" Then suddenly, I caught him staring at something. I frowned in confusion at first, but when I followed his eyes, that was when I realized…

He was staring at Sora-san.

And before I could even begin to get annoyed, he said, "Let's go."

I blinked a few times. Maybe he truly _did_ still have feelings for Sora-san. He hadn't discussed them with me at all for a very long time, but after the slow dance incident and this… I didn't know. I didn't _want_ to think about it.

Besides, he had spent his whole night with me, not Sora-san.

And that's when it hit me: I had spent the whole dance with _Taichi-san_. Sure, maybe we hadn't gone…_together_, but…

I looked over at him and he was swinging the gym bag over his shoulder.

I could feel the heat rising to my face. All night, it had been me and Taichi-san. It had gone by so fast, like a blur, and it had been just me and him, laughing and grinning at each other as we impressed the crowd. And nervousness? After we had started playing, I had barely thought about everyone else except when Taichi-san decided to encourage them to cheer. I had just thought about how great it was that Taichi-san and I had _bonded_ over something.

But this whole slow dancing business... If only, right? Maybe that night had not included that, but it almost felt...ephemerally romantic, in a strange kind of way. But it was too late even to _pretend_ it was a date…

Well…

"Hey…Taichi-san?"

"Yeah?" He looked at me.

Trying to contain my nerves as much as possible, I managed to stutter, "I-I think this is the last song… Do you want to try _actual_ dancing?" It took all the power in the world not to add "with me?"

He broke into a smile and replied, "Definitely!"

So there we both ended up, in the middle of the dance floor, failing miserably at dancing, but just laughing, laughing, laughing.

And all I could do was be thankful for our friendship.

* * *

A/N: I _promise_ you that this will be the most crack-filled chapter of the entire story, haha. Basically, it was a one-shot plotbunny that turned into this. And I think it turned out alright.

And I admit it: Reviews make me happy. Let it be known. Haha. e He


	29. The Fourth Dream

_Dream #4: Of Sideway Glances and "Checking Out Some Hot Babes"_

* * *

It was one of those days when the clouds could no longer hold back the rain. Perhaps the clouds felt obliged to keep the ground dry, for no day of Golden Week could be wasted indoors. But every so often, they ceased to hold the water back, and the rain would come down in large droplets, landing on the hot pavement with puffs of steam.

Perfect weather for scouring for "hot babes" in Taichi-san's eyes.

"Don't you get it, Koushirou?" Taichi-san asked me over the phone. "I just checked the weather forecast today, and apparently there's a chance of showers. Think about it: Most chicks, looking outside, will have no fucking clue that it's going to rain and are just gonna dress like they always do. But then, _bam!_ It starts raining. And then we'll have ourselves a show."

I sighed as I finally saw his logic. "Taichi-san, I don't feel comfortable-"

"You _always_ don't," he bemoaned to me, sounding frustrated. "Look, Yamato's coming, too, and-"

"Yamato-san?" I frowned. "Sora-san is okay with him doing such a thing?"

"No. But he has no idea that's what we're actually gonna do when we get together." I could imagine him grinning.

I just sighed again. "I still don't understand why you want me to come, Taichi-san."

"Dude, you're one of my best friends, duh."

"Yeah, but every time I come with you and we end up doing this, you always end up throwing taunts in my face."

"Just tryin' to rile you up, you know? When you actually do wanna ask out a girl, you're never going to because you'll be too shy to admit it. If you just get it over with now, it won't be as bad."

"There's a flaw in your logic, though," I pointed out. "I wouldn't ask anyone out _anyway_ because then you would _never_ stop taunting me."

"Hey, not true!"

I paused to let him know that I didn't believe him for a second. Not even a _nano-_second.

"Alright, maybe for the first couple of days, but I'd get over it!"

I just chuckled to myself, shaking my head. It was funny, considering the only person I would ever ask out was _him_. Of course, that was never going to happen.

"Come on, man. Just come to chill with me and Yamato, if nothing else."

I heaved another, final sigh. "Fine. But it's for that reason _only_, okay?"

"Sure, sure." I knew he wasn't going to ditch his original plans, but these kinds of outings, while awkward, usually did produce some rather amusing conversations.

"Should I bring an umbrella?" I asked. "My dad has one of those giant golf umbrellas-"

"Dude, it's like, crazy hot outside," he interrupted. "By the time it starts raining, we'll probably appreciate it."

He had a point, although I really wasn't looking forward to it too much. Besides, most people used umbrellas in this kind of hot weather anyway just to give themselves some shade from the sun. Or to use as fashion statements.

"Alright. Where should I meet you?"

"Yamato wants to meet at Aqua City in the Plaza in an hour. He has some 'errands to run' or something like that. Then we can just wander around and stuff."

"Okay."

"See ya!"

I snapped my phone shut and swiveled my chair to face my closet. _Well,_ I thought to myself, _I better pick something I don't mind getting wet…_

~*~

I hoped that most girls were smart enough to take an umbrella, for I could practically _feel_ the moisture in the air. It was so heavy with humidity that I felt sluggish the moment I stepped outside. But then I realized that Taichi-san was right: It was going to be one of those rains when no one minded getting wet.

I wandered over to Aqua City slowly, for I had left the apartment earlier than necessary, mixed-up in my anticipation – as usual. A lot of people were out, especially children, who crowded an ice cream shop on my route.

As I walked, letting the humidity coat me in miniscule drops of water, I watched the world practically spinning around me – the children laughing, the passers-by walking, the Tokyo Eye rotating. Even though the sun was light on my skin, the air felt so very heavy. Each limb of mine felt like a barbell, and I dragged myself along, trying my best to savor Golden Week as I did every year. But all of those distractions – the heat, the noise – left it almost impossible to look for Taichi-san.

"Koushirou! Is that you?"

I slowly turned my head to find Yamato-san running behind me, panting as he reached me. "Jeez, man, I called your name like four times."

"Oh! I'm sorry, Yamato-san. I suppose I was spacing out."

"It's alright." He brushed it off easily. "So what are you doing here?"

"I'm meeting Taichi-san…" I started slowly. "Didn't you know?"

"Way for Taichi to tell me," he scoffed, shaking his head. "Well, it's cool that you're joining us. Going to Aqua Plaza?"

I nodded. "Yes." Then I looked down and noticed the small bag he was holding. "What's that?"

"Huh? Oh…" He gave me a small, but embarrassed smile as held it up. "A gift for Sora… It's our anniversary in about a week."

"Oh! Congratulations!" I offered, smiling broadly at him. "May I ask what it is? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Ah, well… I kind of want to keep it private, if you don't mind."

"No! Of course not." I nodded at him again. "I completely understand."

"Thanks." He reached in his pocket and took a peek at his cell phone. "Well, we better get going unless we want Taichi bitching us out for like an hour."

I laughed. "Something tells me that _he_ is the one most likely to be late."

"Good point. Well, standing around in this heat isn't doing us any good anyway, so let's go."

"Yeah."

We continued walking towards the ride, and I let the rest of the world become a blur. My mind was as blank as steam as I simply let my feet move, and only did the mugginess part when I spotted Taichi-san leaning against a wall in Aqua Plaza.

"'Bout time!" he called as he spotted us, coming away from the wall and walking towards us.

Yamato-san sighed as he gave me a "I-told-you-so" look and then greeted Taichi-san. "What, how long have you been waiting? Two minutes, _max_?"

"More like three." He grinned as he slapped him on the back as he often did, and then he nodded at me as well. I was glad to see that he didn't follow through on the second part of Yamato-san prediction. "So you guys ready?"

"Ready for what?" Yamato-san asked, suddenly suspicious. "I thought we were just hanging out, although I was going to suggest that we go inside-"

"For checking out some hot babes, _duh_!" Taichi-san exclaimed.

Yamato-san immediately frowned, and I noticed that his grip on the bag tightened. "Taichi…you have _got_ to be fucking kidding me."

"Why would I kid you? Come on, Yamato, you've been a taken man for too long. You need to at least _turn_ your attention to other chicks once in awhile." Taichi-san turned to me. "And Koushirou needs to turn his attention to chicks, _period_."

I winced. Although it was actually a good thing he didn't know how much that stung.

"Taichi, maybe I don't _want_ to," Yamato bit back icily. "Look, you and Koushirou can go have fun or something, but if that's what you're planning on doing, forget it." He proceeded to turn around about-face and start walking.

But Taichi-san was quick to stop him. "Dude, what's your problem? No reason to get all Sora-bitchy on me." If he was looking to calm Yamato-san down, that was _definitely_ not the right words to say, for he was only met with another – harsher – glare. "I do still want to hang out, you know. Here, Koushirou and I can scour for hot babes, and you can just tag along. We'll only bring it up if we see one, that's all. Come on."

Yamato-san hesitated before he decided to look at me. I just shrugged, and his eyes seemed to reflect understanding. I think he knew that I definitely wasn't interested in Taichi-san's strange male ritual, although it took him long enough, because only a couple years before, _he_ was the other one begging me to tag along.

Then, he exhaled loudly. "_Fine_. But can we _please_ go inside somewhere? I'm dying out here."

"Hell no! It's gonna rain later, and that way we can see all of the hot babes get drenched!"

"Taichi, you're sick. _Seriously._" Yamato-san huffed again. "If we stay out here much longer, we're going to end up dying of heatstroke, and then neither one of us will ever get to see a hot babe ever again."

"Not so, Yamato! Why do you think they call it 'heaven'?" Taichi-san put on a huge grin.

Groans from both Yamato-san and myself. "_Taichi._"

"Just grab some water or something. Jeez, wuss. We've been through worse heat in the Digital World."

"Yeah, but then we didn't have the _option_ of going inside to air conditioning." Yamato-san headed over to a stall that was selling water and got in a rather long line. I followed him, but I couldn't help but frown at the incredibly expensive price. They were taking advantage of our thirst.

"Maybe I'll get a small umbrella, too…" Yamato-san pondered out loud.

"Are you crazy? That's the gayest thing ever," Taichi-san bit back. I winced again. He didn't say it very often, but I _hated_ when he used that word in that way. "You're gonna drive all of the chicks away."

Yamato-san blinked a couple times coolly. "You seem to be forgetting that I'm – literally – a chick magnet. And no, it is not a blessing by any means." He seemed to remember something, and then he reached into his back pocket to whip out a pair of sunglasses, which he promptly set on his face.

"I hate to tell you, Yamato-san, but your hair is unmistakable," I told him.

"Yeah, I know, but it's something." Yamato-san just sighed.

We each bought an overpriced bottle of water (and – to prove my point – waited for Yamato-san to sign an autograph for the vendor) and started walking among the rest of the stalls, making general conversation. Apparently, only a very select few girls that Taichi-san found attractive happened to be outside that day.

"Perhaps it is the prettiest girls that are the smartest," I had to comment, raising an eyebrow in amusement. "They're all staying inside like sane people should."

"Technically you just called yourself insane," Taichi-san shot back with a smirk, looking at me directly for the first time that day. The sudden chills felt nice. "You're open to leave anytime you'd like. But that gives me full rights to call you a loser for at least a week."

"Hmm…heatstroke or immature taunting from Taichi-san…?" I pretended to ponder out loud. Yamato-san sniggered a bit.

"Fine, does 'douchebag' better suit your tastes?"

I sighed. "_Taichi-san_."

"Oh? Not good enough? How about assfuck?"

"_Taichi-san!_"

The heat in my cheeks was _not_ appreciated as I stopped and turned to him in real anger.

Taichi-san's smile swiftly morphed into seriousness and he put his hands up in defense. "Whoa, okay, Koushirou, sorry. I was just joking around."

I exhaled briskly and started walking again. "It's alright."

Not like I was going to ditch Taichi-san anyway.

~*~

"So, Yamato, what's in the bag anyway?"

Taichi-san had finally given in and we were seated in a booth at an ice cream parlor. Taichi-san had finished his cone rather quickly, but Yamato-san and I were savoring the coldness before Taichi-san would inevitably invite us to go back outside into the sauna-like weather.

Yamato-san winced noticeably. "None of your fucking business."

"Uptight about it? Must be something personal, then."

"Exactly, Taichi. Lay off."

"Psht, you know that only makes me all the more curious about it." He was sitting on the other side on the booth, so he leaned over to try and peek inside.

Yamato-san, of course, swiftly snatched it away. "Did you not hear me the first time? _Lay off._"

"Aw, come on, man. I'm sure Koushirou's curious about it, too."

"I did inquire about it, but I was considerate enough not to press him about it," I stately coolly, yet with a smile.

"Koushirou, you're too nice," was Taichi-san immediate response. I just sighed. "Unless it's like sex toys or something, what's so embarrassing about it?"

Yamato-san choked on his ice cream, slammed him bowl down, and practically shouted, "It is _not_ a sex toy!"

Silence. And that's when all three of us realized that the entire store was staring at us.

We didn't have to even look at each other to know that was our cue to leave.

"Aha…sorry about that!" Yamato-san awkwardly apologized to everyone.

"We'll just be going now!" Taichi-san pitched in nervously as we all started heading towards the door.

"_Moushiwake arimasen…_*" I stared bowing as I walked backwards out of the store, my cheeks a bright red. But it wasn't long for Taichi-san to grab the collar of my shirt and quickly drag me out of there.

We scurried around the corner, stiff with the awkwardness. But then we all just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"_Wow_, nice _going_, Yamato," Taichi-san teased after we had calmed down.

"Well, if you hadn't been so interested in my purchase, that would have never happened," Yamato-san replied simply with a definite hint of his own teasing in his tone.

"Psht, maybe if you would just take anger management classes…"

"I don't need anger management!"

"Yeah, okay…"

But it was clear to see that their fighting wasn't actually serious.

"Well, in any case," Yamato-san went on, "let's just hope that the tabloids don't take wind of it… They'll think it actually _was_ a sex toy in my bag."

"So it's not?" Taichi-san grinned widely.

Yamato-san sighed, shaking his head no. "No, Taichi. It's not. I can assure you that on Gabumon's life."

"Ah, well, in that case…" Taichi-san kept his grin. "There's no harm in telling us then."

Another sigh from Yamato-san. "Look, Taichi, you _are_ going to find out sooner or later, so chill, alright?"

Taichi-san frowned in confusion, blinking several times. I decided not to say anything. Besides, like Yamato-san said, we would figure it out later.

"Well, since you're on your man period and all," Taichi-san finally said, "then you're _definitely_ up for some sight-seeing, I can tell you that."

It took Yamato-san a moment or two to realize that Taichi-san was referring back to the "hot babes." "Taichi…I'm not even going to respond to that."

"Yamato, _come on_. Doesn't Sora swoon over that one American actor with Mimi-chan all the time? It's just look, not touch. If anything..." He suddenly got a rather sly grin on his face. "We should try to pick-up someone for Koushirou." And he winked at him.

I sighed in hopelessness, not looking at Taichi-san. "Why am I always unable to give my consent on this?"

"Because you never would," he swiftly replied, rustling my hair playfully.

_Sunburn. Yeah, sunburn._

It was Yamato-san's turn to sigh…except, it was to concede. Then, he smiled.

"I can't say that I don't support Koushirou finally getting a girlfriend." He looked at me with a peculiar smirk. It made me kind of nervous.

"Yamato-san, I thought _you_ were at least on my side!" I joked.

"Eh, well, technically I am on your side in this matter." That was more like the Yamato-san I knew before he got together with Sora-san.

"That's the spirit, Yamato!" Taichi-san proceeded to slap me on the back. "So what tickles your fancy, Koushirou, huh? Blondes? Brunettes? Redheads to make cute little redhead babies with?"

I flushed red again. "I-I like brown hair," I involuntarily whispered.

"Okay, that narrows it down pretty well…" He turned away from me and started scanning the surrounding area.

"Someone like that?"

Yamato-san was pointing to a rather petite, brown-haired girl. However, she had a very large…chest area.

I cringed in disgust. _Such_ a turn-off, even more so than most girls already were. "_Absolutely not_."

"Okay. So a chick with small boobs." Yamato-san turned and grinned at me. "Although I'm not too sure why…"

"Sora-san doesn't have a particularly large chest size," I pointed out.

"Way to admit that you stare at your friend's girlfriend's boobs," Taichi-san said to me, smiling with an eyebrow raised.

I just sighed again. "For the record, Yamato-san, that isn't exactly an activity in which I partake."

"Don't worry about it." He didn't seem too concerned. He was too busy looking around anyway.

"What about her?"

Taichi-san had picked another rather short girl. Well, I suppose they were trying to find a girl who would be shorter than me, and unfortunately, even though I've grown, I'm still rather short for my age. The girl had short, curly brown hair and a…manageable chest size, but her fake tan was so distracting that I couldn't help but think of an orange peel when I looked at her.

"Ew, bad tan," Yamato-san replied for me.

"Yes, my thoughts exactly…" I echoed. I really _hoped_ that wasn't Taichi-san idea of an attractive girl. Actually, thinking about it, I couldn't understand how he could pick a girl like that when he had been so in love with a girl as wholesome as Sora-san.

They continued to scour the street, and I supposed, while they were at it, I might as well look around. Nothing else better to do.

All of the girls were like blurs to me. They were so uninteresting that no matter how hard I tried, there was nothing I could do to truly focus on them. Instead, I decided to flicker my eyes over to Taichi-san every so often, which was much more entertaining.

But suddenly, my eyes wandered to a boy, probably around my age, who was leaning against a wall, letting the slight breeze of sea air run though his dark brown – almost black – tangled locks. His eyes were fierce and golden, and he looked so serene that when his eyes caught mine for a split second – I blushed.

It was the first time I had blushed at anyone besides Taichi-san.

I was afraid to look back, but I was even more afraid to let Taichi-san and Yamato-san know that someone had caught my attention. But when I finally did muster up the courage, he was gone.

Dazed, I shook my head a little and turned back to Taichi-san, focused on his task. The way the wind caught his hair and bounced off his skin, and the way he was so intently narrowing his eyes slightly… Suddenly, I couldn't even picture the boy I had just seen.

"Hey Koushirou…what about her?"

I looked up to follow Yamato-san pointed finger. She was dark brown-haired and laughing, with a pastel-colored skirt to match her paler complexion. She seemed lighthearted and happy-go-lucky, and she had a softness that was almost relaxing to watch. She actually seemed…rather nice.

Then I saw the boy I had spotted earlier walk up to her and begin to scold her. She looked incredibly sorry, but they were fine within a few moments. When I looked closer, I noticed that she had the same golden eyes as the boy. And that's when I realized that they were probably siblings.

The only reason I found her nice-looking was because she looked like the boy.

"She's okay, I guess," I decided to admit.

Taichi-san and Yamato-san whirled around, both of their mouths dropped open in shock. I blinked a couple times in confusion and backed away at the sight. "Um…"

Then, Taichi-san burst out laughing and pointed at Yamato-san. "You officially owe me 10,000 yen*, right here, right now!"

Yamato-san gave a sigh of defeat. "Never thought I would see the day, but I supposed you're right."

Taichi-san jumped up, punching his fist at the sky in victory. "_Yes!_ I _told_ you he wasn't a lost cause, Yamato! What'd I tell you, huh? Huh?"

"Oh, shut up, Taichi. Besides, I spent all of the money I had on me today, so I'll have to pay you later."

I just stood there blinking. "What's…going on?"

"We had a bet going," Taichi-san finally explained to me, his smile permanently plastered on his face. "Yamato said that he never thought you would actually admit you thought a girl was hot, but _I_ believed in you, man." He slapped me on the back – a little too hard for my liking.

I wanted to point out that I didn't exactly say the girl was "hot" – just "okay" – but I _really_ didn't feel like arguing. Besides, I was too busy trying to control my anger instead.

While Taichi-san continued to tease Yamato-san, I stood there, my fists clenched in fury. A _bet_? About something like _this_? I couldn't even comprehend it! But past my anger was the fear. Why did Yamato-san believe something like that? Was he getting suspicious? Was he starting to suspect...?

And Taichi-san... My heart sank. Taichi-san "believed in me." He believed that I was straight. Straight. Heterosexual. His mind had never wavered from the idea, and even though that's for what I had been striving all of these years, for some reason, I couldn't help but feel...disappointed. I believed that if Taichi-san ever found out the truth, he really _would_ be overwhelmed with shock.

And because he believed that so fervently, I would never have a chance...

_Come on, now,_ I remember thinking to myself. _When did you ever have a chance in the first place? How does this change things? It doesn't. It's the same as before: You will never have a chance with Taichi-san._

I was almost inclined to run to the good-looking boy I saw earlier.

And if things couldn't get any worse, it started to rain. No, it started to _pour._ Hard.

"Whoo-hoo! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Taichi-san laughed as he spread his arms wide and stretched his head back, taking in the rain.

I simply stood there, letting the rain drench me, as everyone else besides us began to scramble and run for shelter.

"Where's the hot babe you like?" Taichi-san asked, me, smiling as he looked over at me.

"Huh?" I looked up at him, feeling meek. He was a beautiful mess. "I don't know," I replied quietly, even though I hadn't glanced away from him for a second to affirm that. He kept our gaze for a few more moments before he turned away to laugh at Yamato-san, who was trying his best to keep his bag dry.

I was glued to my spot, and even though the humidity had lifted because of the rain, I felt as though a permanent mugginess was sewing itself inside me. I could have stayed there and become a permanent statue, but Taichi-san grabbed my hand and led me to follow after the crowd, saying something about how we had to "attend our own private wet t-shirt contest."

My mood didn't lift for the rest of Golden Week, and it certainly didn't help when Yamato-san decided to present his gift – a promise ring – to Sora-san in front of all of the Chosen Children on the last night of the vacation. And, of course, I happened to be sitting next to Taichi-san, who _would not_ stop talking to me about it for the rest of the night.

He wasn't angry, nor jealous, nor disappointed. It had been two years since Yamato-san and Sora-san had gotten together; the promise ring was appropriate. He just couldn't believe how serious the two had really gotten. In reality, he was actually rather _excited_ for them.

But there I was, moping around in my own self-pity instead of trying to be happy for them. All I could think about was Taichi-san presenting a beautiful ring like that to me. _Ha. If only_, I thought. It was silly and stupid, and I felt so ridiculous for even _fantasizing_ about it. But to look at the happiness of Yamato-san and Sora-san...I wanted that for myself. And I believed that as long as I would love Taichi-san, that sort of happiness would never come to me.

But I knew that the happiness I could treasure was the way I stirred whenever Taichi-san laughed, whenever he looked at me.

~*~

That was almost four months ago. Summer vacation is in a week or so. Ever since then, days with weather like that have always put me in a bad mood.

Even as I wake up, I can sense the humidity in the air.

But as I blink a few times and look up into the brown eyes of Taichi-san – who has been waiting for me – I don't feel dread, discomfort, or despair.

I feel the happiness I have been searching for.

* * *

_* Very formal: "I'm really sorry."  
*A little over 100 US dollars._

A/N: Gah, I'm sorry about the wait. I've been busy as all hell lately! Things will definitely pick-up once the school year is over. (Except for two weeks in June when I'm vacationing with my family...yeah, I travel a lot, haha.) For (almost) the rest of the story, the chapters will be in Taichi's POV. The chapters will be long (yay!), action-filled (yay!), and DRAMA-TASTIC! (YAY!) So everyone should be looking forward to that!

Have a great end-of-the-school year! I know I will – I'm graduating high school!


	30. Columns :Taichi's POV:

_Columns_

* * *

"Koushirou... Oy, Koushirou... Wake up already!"

Jeez, he's a heavy sleeper...

"Koushirou!" I nudge him a little. "Come on!"

He makes a little noise, and then he _finally_ stirs.

Then his eyes flutter open, and he looks up at me.

"Taichi-san...?" He blinks a couple times, but then he smiles.

"Hey, 'bout time you woke up!" I grin. I can't help it. He looks too angelic for words. "I don't think you've ever slept in later than me."

He chuckles to himself a little as he stretches. "You're right. But I did sleep really well. Did you?"

I shrugged. "I have to admit that your futon isn't the most comfortable thing in the world..."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" He truly looks crazy apologetic, too. He's too nice, this kid. "I would've gotten more blankets or more pillows to make you more comfortable! Please, next time, if you want-"

"Koushirou, it's okay!" I have to laugh. "Too nice" is an understatement. "Seriously. I'm wide awake and fully capable of kicking ass at my soccer game today, so don't worry."

He relaxes a little more at that. "Well, I'm glad." He pauses. "Do I smell...eggs?"

"Yup!" I give a wider grin this time. "Since I couldn't fall back asleep after I woke up, I decided to make breakfast!"

"Taichi-san..." He smiles sheepishly. "You didn't have to do that..."

"Hey, what else was I gonna do?" I stand up and exhale loudly. "You weren't budging anytime soon, and I was starving!"

He laughs and gets out of bed. "Well, I suppose when you're hungry, nothing can stop you."

"Got that right! Now come on!"

"Wait!" I look back, and suddenly he's panic-stricken. He whirls around to the clock, and then his shoulders fall. "Good."

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted to make sure that we weren't going to be late for your game."

"No, we're fine." I glance over at the clock myself. 11:02. "We still have an hour."

"But don't you have to get your stuff?" He starts walking over towards me.

"I'm gonna call Hikari and tell her to bring my bag to the field with her. I'll just change when I get there." This field is right next to the school, so there are locker rooms.

"Oh, okay." Koushirou smiles as he approaches me. "So you ate already?"

"Yep! I'll just wait around for you to finish."

He nods, and then I hear his stomach rumble. His hands immediately move there, and he flushes a little. "Ah, I suppose I'm kind of hungry, too..."

"Then what are you waiting for? Come on, come on, eat already! Before it gets cold!" I push him along until we get to the table, and he sits down obediently. I sit across from him.

That way I can stare at him the entire time.

He smiles lovingly at me after he looks down at his plate. My stomach jerks a little, and I can't help but look away. That is _definitely_ going to take some getting used-to.

"You even remembered the _ponzu_.*"

"How could I forget such a weird-ass thing for eggs?" I laugh as I look back at him. I feel like I'm almost transported back to that conversation during the early days in the Digital World, when we found that refrigerator full of eggs. "At least soy sauce is normal."

He rolls his eyes. "To each their own, Taichi-san."

"_Obviously._" I grin, hoping he knows what I'm referring to.

The blush on his cheeks tells me he does. "Well... _Itadakimasu!*_"

I just watch him eat for awhile, but then the thought crosses my mind... He's been planning to go to my soccer game all week (in fact, there aren't many games that he _hasn't_ attended this year...go figure, I guess), but with those hickeys and the fact that he'll have to wear a _turtleneck_... Is that really the best idea? I mean, personally, I think he should just come and be all chill about it. Like, we'll explain it if anyone asks...although maybe we'd leave out the sex part...but then that'll be it.

The thing is, I know he wouldn't do that at this point.

"Hey, Koushirou?"

He acknowledges me with a nod, 'cause his mouth is full.

"Um...do you still want to come to my game today? I mean, I'll totally understand if you don't want to..."

He frowns in confusion as he swallows. "Why wouldn't I want to come to your game, Taichi-san?"

"Well...you know..." I look away and point to my own neck.

"Oh!" He turns a little red and his hand flies to his neck. "I'd almost forgotten!"

"Yeah, well... I'm sure it's going to be really hot, and wearing a turtleneck would kind of suck, so..."

"No, it's okay." He smiles at me again, and I have to say, while I love it, it's a little inconvenient. That's how off-guard it gets me. "I want to come. Don't worry, I'll come up with a plausible excuse."

Well, if he wants to risk it, I guess that's okay with me. Whether we tell or not is really up to him at this point. "Alright then."

He starts on his last portion of the eggs, so I decide it's a good time to call Hikari.

"Well, while you finish up, I'll call Hikari." He nods, and I get up from the table to start walking back to his room.

I grab my phone off his desk (right next to my bundle of hair..._jeez_, it's still weird!) and dial Hikari's number.

"It's about time you called," is the first thing she says...in a very non-Hikari fashion, I may add.

"Well, _so-rry_, okaa-san. Please don't take away my video games for a week," I retort.

She just sighs. "When will you ever grow up?"

"When I feel like it."

"Right. So what happened?"

"I fell asleep after playing video games all night and forgot to call. Is that such a crime?"

There was a pause. "I thought all of Koushirou-san's video game were here."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Not _all_ of them. Just the good ones. We watched a movie first then were too lazy to get them from you and Takeru. _Speaking_ of which-"

"He left right after dinner."

"Well, good."

I am such a fucking hypocrite.

"_Anyway_," Hikari presses on, "you better get over here to get your soccer stuff-"

"Actually...that's kind of why I was calling..." I can't help but grin innocently even though she can't see me.

She sighs again. "You want me to bring your stuff, don't you?"

"Pwetty pwease?"

I can image her rolling her eyes in amusement. "I'll meet you by the locker rooms. Is Koushirou-san coming?"

My stomach flips at his name. "Yeah."

"Alright. Takeru-kun is still coming, too. See you there."

"Bye."

As I snap my phone shut, I can't help but shake my head. This _better_ not be what my conversations are going to be like for the rest of the day.

"Is everything set-up?"

Koushirou walks into the room, and I turn around to look at him. I've _never_ seen him so relaxed...well, besides last night, anyway...but I still don't want to risk anything by thinking about that! He's just looking at me with that same smile...this _enlightened_ smile... I wish I could return it, but I _really_ don't feel enlightened right now. It's like, okay, I've discovered this hidden part of myself and explored it..._literally_...but I don't _understand_ it yet. For Koushirou...he's fully understood it for so long, and now he's been able to act on it... And he'll get to keep acting on it... I think...

Man, I have no idea.

Actually, we haven't even officially stated if we want to be "going out"... I feel like it's been "understood," in a way...the way we've been talking. But...

I'm just not sure. But do I want to bring it up now? Do I want to ruin that enlightened smile of his?

No. Not really.

"Yeah, it's all good," I reply. "She's going to meet us at the locker rooms."

He nods and then smiles wider. "I wonder she's going to think of your hair."

"Oh man!" I laugh a bit. "I was wondering last night if she's even going to _recognize _me! Wouldn't that be hilarious if she didn't?"

"Definitely." His smile turns into a grin. "That will certainly be interesting to see."

"Got that right."

"So..." Suddenly, his voice becomes quieter again and he looks down at the floor. "Um...maybe I should get your clothes out of the dryer now?"

"Ah...yeah, okay."

He goes back out of the room, and I decide to see if I can clean up the kitchen or something, but when I go in there I see that he's already taken care of everything. I shake my head. Still, always the incredibly polite one. I _have_ always adored that about him, even if it's a little irritating at times...

"Ah, there you are." I turn around to see Koushirou walking in. "Here."

He tosses me my clothes and I catch them. But then, suddenly, I can't move. Then I realize that despite last night – no, _because_ of last night – I understand the feeling Koushirou gets every time he steps into a locker room. Screw the fact that it's him; it _is_ awkward.

"I guess I'll change in the bathroom..."

"Okay..."

I glance up at him again, and I see that the sun rays are directly on his neck.

"And, um... I'm really sorry about...the hickeys again..."

"Ah, right..."

"Yeah....I'll go change now..."

I start to walk towards the bathroom, but then he says, "T-Taichi-san?"

"Yeah?"

He blushes really hard and then says, "You...you don't have to apologize." Then he bites his lower lip nervously as he rushes off to his room.

He _likes_ it when I do that!

I have this really satisfied and sly smile on my face as I step into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Figuring out his weak spots – his _fetishes_? Oh, _man_! That is _so_ freaking satisfying!

I start to change, but then I wonder... The reason it's so satisfying...is it because it's _Koushirou_? I mean, here's a kid I've known for...six years (wow, already?), and he's been one of my best friends for at least half that. And for all that time, the only personal thing I've been able to weed out of him is that he's adopted, which isn't even that big of a deal anyway. (Although I have to say, he got _deep_ with that topic...my head still spins thinking about it.) He's an incredibly private person, and the fact that I could unlock him and figure out such personal stuff about him..._sexual_ stuff about him..._man!_

And that's when I think... Is it that satisfaction that gets me off?

I'm changed, and I walk over to look at myself in the mirror.

_Whoa_... I'm still not used to that.... Is that really _me_ in the mirror? So _weird_.

All of that symbolic crap I was muttering late in the night... I guess I wasn't kidding.

No matter my motivations, no matter my thoughts, which are probably overanalyzing everything anyway, I slept with a guy. I slept with Izumi Koushirou.

And that has to mean something more.

I decide to forget thinking about it so much and just get to my game. I brush my teeth, splash some water on my face, and come back into the hallway. Koushirou's door is open, so I go over there.

He's putting away the futon and my hair on the desk is gone. I don't feel like asking where he put it. When he turns around, I see that he's wearing a rather thick orange turtleneck, and even though I haven't been outside yet, I already feel sorry for him.

"Here's your cell phone, Taichi-san."

"Thanks." I take it from him then look at the clock. "We should probably go. You ready?"

"Yes, just let me brush my teeth."

"Alright, I'll wait by the door."

I walk over to the door and put on my shoes, and it's not long before he's locked-up and we're walking towards the soccer field.

_Damn_, it's hot.

I feel so bad for Koushirou, it's not even funny. He's already sweating like hell.

"Are you okay? I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts and I'm _dying_."

"I'm fine, Taichi-san." But he says that so incredibly straight-forward and in such a monotone voice that I can't really believe him.

But I know that no matter how many times I'd insist that he go back home, he wouldn't. I just hope he doesn't get heatstroke or something... And I hope he came up with a really, _really_ good excuse as to why he's wearing that turtleneck.

We walk mostly in silence on the way there, and about halfway, I suddenly get this longing to hold his hand. I _want_ to act like we're together and to show everyone that; that feeling really hasn't changed from last night...or technically this morning. I mean, I can't say that I'm not harboring _some_ feelings of hesitation, but overall, I really don't see the big deal.

So I decide to test what he's feeling and slowly lace my fingers through his.

I can feel him flinch, but we still don't look at each other. He doesn't move for a few seconds, which makes me feel a sense of triumph, but then, he does pull away.

I look down at him, a little hurt, but he avoids my gaze and shakes his head. I try to make sure he doesn't hear me sigh. I guess he still feels awkward.

We get the soccer field and immediately head to the locker rooms. As I get closer, I not only spot Hikari and Takeru, but I smile as I see that Yamato's decided to come, too. Sweet.

I run ahead, and my sister is frowning as I approach them.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Err, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for my onii..." Then, her mouth drops open. "_Onii-chan!?_"

I grin. _Sa-tis-fac-tion_. "_Yes?_"

Yamato and Takeru are just as shocked.

"Taichi!?"

"Taichi-san!?"

I begin to laugh as I glance back at Koushirou. He's still looking pretty uncomfortable, although I can't tell if it's from the heat or if he's reconsidering coming to the game. Or both.

"What the hell did you _do_?" are the first words out of Yamato's mouth.

"You look so much..." Takeru starts.

"More _mature_," Hikari finishes.

"I was going to go for 'not so much like a stubborn asshole,' but that works, too," Yamato says.

"Fuck you," I say to Yamato. He laughs as I turn to Hikari. "Thank you. I'd have to say that's what I was going for." Err...right.

"Yeah, but..._why?_" Takeru asks, still dumbfounded.

"My impulsive nature." I grin. Seriously, I'm _not_ lying!

The three of them just blink for a moment.

"Who did it?" asks Hikari.

"Just a barber shop in the mall. While Koushirou and I were walking around, I just saw it and decided, 'Ah, what the hell, it's time!'"

More silence.

"Koushirou, what the fuck did you drug him with?" That's Yamato of course.

I can't tell if Koushirou's cheeks are red from embarrassment or the heat. "Um..."

"And speaking of drugs, are you _on_ them? Why the hell are you wearing a sweater in the middle of July?"

"Ah, well, I woke up with a bit of a fever, so I was cold." He sounds...kind of convincing?

But considering that it's Koushirou, I highly doubt that they'll suspect him of having done anything dirty.

"Oh, well, I hope you feel better, Koushirou-san." Always my sister to be the one who says something really nice. "I hope you wore something underneath in case you get hot."

"Ah, I didn't... But it's okay, Hikari-san. Thank you. I mean, if I wasn't feeling better, I wouldn't be here." He gives an awkward smile, which kind of makes me hope that he'll save his Buddha smile only for me.

"That's good. Well, here's your stuff, onii-chan." Hikari hands me my sports bag. "We'll go find a seat in the stands."

I nod. "Alright. See you!"

"Good luck!" they all call back as I run into the locker room.

I'm one of the last ones to the field, so I change quickly without a thought and get out there. My teammates have similar reactions to my haircut, and I can't help but enjoy the attention. But after the comments of surprise as well as the compliments – including one from my coach, Shimizu-sensei, who is actually the teacher who directed the soccer club where Koushirou, Sora, and I met – we all gather to discuss strategy for today's game.

It doesn't take too long. We've played the opposing team before and they weren't too much of a challenge. I get riled-up more as I stretch and shoot a couple of goals. Despite my lack of sleep, I'm pumped, and Koushirou's encouraging smile from the stands can't help but fuel that feeling.

"Go, Taichi-san!"

"Kick some ass, Yagami!"

"You can do it, onii-chan!"

Oh yeah. And the cheers from my friends and family, too.

I give them a sheepish smile and a thumbs-up as I get in position for kick-off.

The whistle blows.

And I'm off.

~*~

"Dude, Yagami-senpai, that was an _amazing_ goal!"

"You were awesome today, Yagami-senpai!"

"Keep it up, man!"

"Aww, guys..." I can't help but feel flattered, but hey, they're right.

I know that sounds really cocky and all, but seriously, I haven't played that well in a really long time. Maybe ever. I was all _over_ that game with tons of goals and assists. And I'm thoroughly convinced that it's because of Koushirou.

All I want to do is scoop him up into my arms and kiss him when he runs ahead of the others to congratulate me. Not only that, but it looks like he's really suffering in that turtleneck. Still, I resist, and he gives me an incredibly wide smile and says, "You were spectacular, Taichi-san. As you always are."

"K-Koushirou..." I don't even know how to react to that. This emotion..._damn_ it's overwhelming.

The other three catch up. "_Dude!_" Yamato calls. "I must've picked the right game to attend! Unless you're going to tell me that you always play like that, which I'm going to find hard to believe, considering it was borderline evil-Ichijouji-skills."

I laugh. "Nah, I'll admit that you just picked the right game. I was just _on_ it today! By the way, why'd you come? You don't have band practice or something?"

He shakes his head. "Our drummer has to take care of his sick brother while his parents are out, so when I called Takeru to ask what he was doing, I decided to tag along."

I nod. "Cool. Well, glad you could come."

"What inspired you to work so hard today?" Hikari asks almost in a...teasing kind of tone. I have no idea why she'd even be on to us, but she can be weird sometimes... Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

"You know, I didn't even have to _try_ very hard," I tell her. "I kind of...just had a good day."

"It does happen to all of us." Takeru begins to smirk that rather annoying smirk. Maybe it's just annoying to me because he likes my sister. "Just hope that you have another day like this when you play a team that's actually impressive to rape."

I roll my eyes as the others laugh, except Koushirou of course.

"Eh, well, they were decent enough," I say.

"Hey, Yagami-senpai!"

I turn around to find a teammate of mine running up to me.

"Yeah?"

"We're thinking about all going out to lunch to celebrate the victory – and your lunch is on us!"

"Sounds great!" I turn back to everyone. "You guys wanna come?"

"Sure!" Hikari replies. The guys nod. Koushirou looks rather relieved, 'cause I bet he'd kill for some air conditioning right about now.

"Alright, well, I'll change and stuff, and then we'll go."

"'Kay."

I follow my other teammates into the locker rooms, a few more of them complimenting me on the way in. I'm on a high, carefree as anything... That is, until I'm standing in front of my open locker.

I freeze. This is _completely_ out of nowhere... I hadn't even thought of this beforehand, and now that I'm standing here....

I glance behind my shoulder for a minute, quickly looking back when I see a couple guys behind me changing. I've _never_ felt awkward in locker rooms. _Ever_. But now suddenly I'm afraid...afraid of getting turned-on or something. But that's the thing! I don't know if I'm gay or even _bi_! But I don't want to risk anything! And seeing other guys'...you know...does that count as "cheating?" Are we even "dating?" Goddamn it, I'm so confused!

I want to change in the stalls and skip the shower, but I know I'll get questions (plus I smell pretty bad), so I know I have to grin and bear it.

Damn... Koushirou's gone through this crap practically all his life... This _sucks_.

I quickly undress and wrap my towel around my waist before making my way to the showers. I look left and right before I put my towel on a hook and walk over to a showerhead, staring at the floor. I turn on the water and let the hot water hit me.

It's an unspoken rule not to look anywhere when in locker room showers, so I focus on washing my hair...my surprisingly little amount of it.

Seriously, am I attracted to guys now or what? Or is it just Koushirou?

I scoff at myself in disgust as a kind of...test pops into my head. But I know that the wondering is going to kill me, so I decide to try it.

I lift my eyes up and do a scan around the showers before glancing down again.

_Blergh._

No difference. Just as unappetizing as always.

Not that I look on a regular basis or anything! Just when you accidentally get a glimpse when you don't want to... _You know!_

So that's just it. I have absolutely _no_ desire to look at other guys _whatsoever_. But Koushirou...damn... Ugh, I really have to watch my train of thought. Especially in here.

I finish up and go back over to my locker. As I finish drying off and dressing, a guy behind me asks, "Yagami-senpai?"

I flinch as I reply, "Y-Yeah?"

"You alright? Seems like something's bothering you."

"Huh? Oh, no, I guess I'm just tired, that's all."

"Oh. Alright, well, we'll be waiting for you outside."

"Okay, cool."

He shuts his locker and walks away, and I just stare at my locker as I hear all of the other guys walk out. When I hear the door close for the last time, announcing the exit of the last guy in the locker room, I plop down onto the bench, still staring at the rusted metal. Then, I ask myself that question again.

_God, who am I?_

I'm not gay. I'm not bi. I'm _straight_.

But I like Koushirou. _Like-like_ Koushirou. I had gay, freaking, sex with Koushirou.

Yet I'm straight.

What the fuck?

This is _so_ wrong on _so_ many levels, but it feels so _right_! I _want_ to be with Koushirou 'cause I know he's perfect for me and he's just so goddamn beautiful!

And honestly, could I ever look at him the same way after all of this?

Hell no. Of course not.

No matter how weird or fucked-up it is, I _have_ to accept it.

I'm straight. But I'm falling in love with Izumi Koushirou.

"T-Taichi-san?"

I practically jump out of my skin as I whirl around to see Koushirou standing there, looking worried.

"Um, you were taking awhile and everyone's waiting, so I thought I'd come to see if you're alright. So, um, are you coming?"

"Y-Yeah..." I heave a sigh as I turn back around. Then, I can't help but chuckle. "It's weird, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"That I'm straight but falling in love with you."

I can almost _hear_ him flinch as he takes a moment to respond. "M-Most people would find that peculiar, yes."

"I'm...finding it hard to accept."

I can hear his footsteps as he walks over to me. Then he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Remember, Taichi-san... I'll be here to help you."

Suddenly, I feel like I can't breathe. Being close to him has made my body react the same way it did when he sat next to me on the bed and leaned up against me... I feel warm and almost a magnetic kind of attraction that just drives me _insane..._

So the next thing I know, I'm kissing him.

He gives a little "mmph!" of surprise at first, but then he's kissing back. I take that as my cue to wrap my arms around him and kiss him harder, but he breathes through the kiss, "T-Taichi-san..." And with that, I lean against him more, and we crash against the lockers, making a _clang_ echo throughout the locker room.

Damn, I can't get enough of him! My heart is beating that same beat, my breath refuses to return, and I can already tell that I'm getting hard. I don't want this to lead to...that...but man, I can already tell that it's going to be hard to resist.

I kiss every inch of his pale skin, every freckle that adorns his face, the tip of his nose and the corners of his lips. I suck on his tongue and pull down the fabric to suck on his neck, and the way he grips my shirt in fistfuls and uncontrollably moans lightly makes me grow all the more intense.

"Taichi-san..." he breathes again. I open my eyes a little, and this time I _know_ he's not flushed from the heat of July. It's the heat from the friction of this.

All I can think about his kissing him, and so I do, because not only do I never want to stop, I don't think I _can_ stop.

"_Yagami!_"

And suddenly, I'm like a deer in headlights as I'm staring at my mortified soccer coach, whose mouth is open and finger is pointing straight at me and Koushirou.

Fuck my life.

* * *

*_Ponzu_ is a tart, citrus-based sauce that Koushirou mentioned was his favorite thing to put on eggs in the original version of Digimon Adventure, episode 7. Soy sauce was Taichi's.  
*The Japanese way to say, "Let's eat!"

Hey, I'm back from my trip! I wrote this and lots more on the backs of daily Sudoku puzzles 'cause I didn't bring enough paper... Haha. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!


	31. Unshakeable

_Unshakeable_

* * *

"What the...? You are...? What are you doing...? I-Izumi...?"

"Petrified" would kind of be an understatement to describe Shimizu-sensei right now. Me? Sounds about right. Times one billion.

For Koushirou, it's about one zillion. As I turn around to look at him with my typical, "Oh shit, we're fucked now" face, I can't help but stop. He is so incredibly mortified, so clearly humiliated, that I'm afraid he's just going to spontaneously combust or something. I won't be surprised if he runs away, but honestly...he's like a statue right now.

I turn back to Shimizu-sensei and take a step forward. Well, I suppose it's time to stay true to my word. "What does it _look_ like we're doing, Shimizu-sensei?"

He looks kind of shocked that I'm talking back to him – more so than usual. Then, he just looks away and mutters, "I didn't know you were that way, Yagami."

I clench my fists. "I'm _not_ that '_wa_y'," I growl.

"Then what the hell was that just now!?"

"I like him, so I kiss him."

"Yet you're not a fruit? What are you, in some sort of denial?"

I take another step forward. No, actually, it's more like a stomp. "You better watch what you say!"

"And _you_ better watch what you're doing when you're in a public place! If you want to go kissing boys but deny that you're gay, do it on someone else's soccer team!"

My mouth drops open. I can't even _believe_ what I'm hearing! "You wouldn't!"

"No, I won't. That is, if you promise to break it off with him and never mention this to anyone."

I hear Koushirou whisper, "No..." But it's not defiant. It's just...sad.

A literal growl escapes my mouth. I have to say that I had _no_ idea that Shimizu-sensei was this closed-minded! "How does my private life have _anything_ to do with this soccer team!?"

"This team does not need a stigma by any means. I don't need ridicule from other coaches or spectators. Not to mention that all of that will only create a distraction for you."

"_What?_ That's completely ridiculous!"

"That is my decision," he states firmly, and he looks down on us with a glare.

"You know you'd be losing your best player, right? And distraction? Please! I know several guys who are in straight relationships and are fine! And oh, did you _notice_ how well I did today? It's because of Koushirou! He's a _good_ influence on me!"

He doesn't say anything. I'm panting as I stare him down, and then I turn back to Koushirou, who is staring at the ground.

"Koushirou, what do you have to say about all of this?"

He looks up at me as though he's shocked I would even ask his opinion, and he shifts his eyes uncomfortably both ways before looking at the ground again to reply, "I...I don't want you to give up soccer..." he starts in a quiet voice, "I know you love it too much. But...forgive my selfishness, Taichi-san, but I've waited so long..."

Shimizu-sensei bursts out laughing, and I whirl around to give him a fresh glare.

"You've always been one of the nicest, politest kids I've ever met, Izumi," he says to Koushirou. Even though technically it's a compliment, it's still in a harsh, teasing kind of tone. "But I have to say that I probably would have guessed that you would swing that way, considering you practically have your tongue hanging out of your mouth when you watch Yagami's matches." He turns back to me. "But you, Yagami? No. I hadn't the slightest clue."

I can feel my anger boil stronger inside me while Koushirou's eyes go wide and then blink back tears. He just stares at the ground, fighting them, and I think he's whispering to himself, but I can't hear what he's saying. My growing fury is blocking my senses. And possibly my sense.

"Have you corrupted him somehow, Izumi?" Shimizu-sensei accuses him. "Because if that's the case, I won't allow anymore of it!"

I hear Koushirou move backwards behind me, and when I turn to look at him, his eyes are filled with fear.

Suddenly, Shimizu-sensei narrows his eyes and starts walking over, and I plan to fight him if I have to. He stretches out his hand towards Koushirou, and I prepare to throw a fist, but then all his does is pull down the collar of this turtleneck to reveal the purple blotches on his skin.

He scoffs in disgust as he lets go, turns his back to us, and walks back to his place.

"Koushirou..." I wrap my arms around his shoulders 'cause it seems as though he's been violated and humiliated a thousand times over with that look on his face.

I have _never_ felt so angry in my _life!_ The absolute _nerve_ of some people! And _Shimizu-sensei_ of all of them!

"I will absolutely _not_ let go of Koushirou!" I shout to him. "But I have every intention of staying on his team!"

And with that, I grab my gym bag and stomp out of the locker room, Koushirou following behind.

"Taichi-san, wait..."

Then sun and heat are blinding as I step outside, but my anger has already blinded me enough. It takes a couple of moments before I realize that my sister is calling me.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!"

I keep walking. She runs up beside me and tries to keep up.

"Onii-chan, everyone has been waiting for you. What's wrong? What happened?"

"I'm _fine_, Hikari, just leave me alone!" I scream.

Hikari is shocked and doesn't respond right away. "Obviously you're _not_ fine, onii-chan, please-"

"Just forget it," I snarl, quickening my pace. "I'm not going to lunch. Just go without me."

"Taichi! What the hell is going on?" Yamato catches up. "Don't avoid it! Something happened!"

"Fuck off, Yamato!" If he pries at all, _he's_ going to be the one getting punched.

"Dude...there's no need to yell at me," he fires back, still sounding surprised. "Just tell us and we'll help you-"

"Yeah, okay," I cry. "There's nothing you can do to help the fact that Shimizu-sensei is a fucking douchebag!"

"Now don't let him turn you all against me!"

I stop dead in my tracks.

Shimizu-sensei's voice.

"You want to know what was taking Yagami so long? I'll tell you what! He was too busy sucking the lips off of Izumi here in the locker room! Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, there are a bunch of hickeys underneath Izumi's sweater."

There is nothing – and I mean _nothing_ – but silence.

I slowly turn around. My sister has her hand over her mouth, Yamato looks like he's been hit with ten bricks, and Takeru looks about confused as okaa-san attempting to send a text message on a cell phone. But Koushirou...

He's been following after me, and the look on his face... _God_, it hurts just to look at it. His eyes are wide and overflowing with fear, and his mouth is parted a bit, as though he can't even believe what he is hearing or comprehend what's just happened. He just stands there. Broken.

Then he shuts his eyes, teeth, and fists and runs towards the exit.

"Koushirou!" I call to him, reaching out my hand.

"Koushirou-san!" But it's Hikari who runs after him, and seeing that, I know he'll be alright.

Besides, I have other business to take care of.

"YOU BASTARD!" I roar, dropping my bag and springing head-first for Shimizu-sensei, who couldn't have a sicker or smugger grin on his face. But suddenly, I can't move, and that's when I realize that Yamato and Takeru have grabbed both of my arms and are struggling to hold me back.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" I shriek, fighting back my own tears. "He didn't want anyone to know...he didn't want..."

"Taichi, get your head together!" Yamato screams.

"You don't want to make the situation any worse!" Takeru adds.

Then, hesitatingly, almost saying it as though it's a test, Yamato asks, "Would...would Koushirou want you to do this?"

Suddenly, I relax, 'cause I know he's right. Yamato usually knows what to say during times like this. "No...he wouldn't."

Yamato and Takeru let go, and I raise my head to my team and my coach.

"He...he didn't want anyone to know yet, but...we _are_ together. Err, I think. We...haven't really worked out the details yet, but... It doesn't matter! My personal life is completely unrelated to my soccer one, and Shimizu-sensei suggesting that I can't remain on the team because of this is just ridiculous!"

There are a lot of mixed expressions from my teammates. Some are angry, others confused, others in agreement.

One says, "I agree, Yagami-senpai."

"But dude..." says another, "you're gay?"

"Yeah, I'm cool with it and all, but I always thought you were one of the straightest people I know..."

"You can't be sure of this yet..."

"Don't go over to the dark side, Yagami!"

"Look!" I interject. "I don't fully understand this either, but...it is what it is, and anyone who can't accept it can fuck off."

There's a moment before the douchebags of the team decide to walk away. Luckily, there're only two of them.

"You are all seriously saying that you're _okay_ with this!?" Shimizu-sensei cries to everyone else. "Do you understand the _reputation_ this will give us!?"

"Shimizu-sensei," says one. "Look, personally, I think Yagami-senpai is crazy. But let's face it: He's the best player on our team, and kicking him off for something like this would be stupid. He played really well today, and I'm willing to bet it's because of his...significant other." He looks at me. My shoulders fall a little and I nod. He nods back. "Besides, I'm sure it goes against the league's policy or something."

There is a general mutter of agreement, and I feel pretty stupid for not having of thought about that obvious fact beforehand. I beam.

Shimizu-sensei looks _pissed_, but the part about the rules has made him cross his arms.

"Mori...you are right about the league's policy. I cannot argue with that. However..." He looks up at me with his harshest glare yet. I return it. "Know, Yagami, that you will never be back in my good graces."

"A small price to pay," I reply. I'm still pissed, but at least he seems to have come to his senses a little.

"Well, now that that's settled..." begins another teammate, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm _starving_."

We all chuckle, because he's the kind of guy who would say something like that.

"Are you still coming, Yagami-senpai?"

"Hell no, he's not."

Yamato has decided to answer for me.

"He is going to stay here, sit down, and give us a very, very, _very_ detailed explanation of what the hell just happened." He slaps me hard on the back. "_Aren't you_, Taichi?"

Well....I suppose they _do_ deserve an explanation. They'll find out eventually anyway, and I'm sure Koushirou is probably spilling his guts to my sister right about now. She has a way of getting people to do that. "I...guess..."

"Oh, okay."

The team doesn't move.

Yamato sighs. "As in, he's going to give _me_ and _Takeru_ the detailed explanation."

"Oh...okay..." They start to walk away, although very hesitantly. I notice that Shimizu-sensei has already left. Good.

"How the hell are you going to be able to deal with that coach from now-on?" Takeru asks me once they've all left.

"I have no idea," I reply. "But this is a good team. We're the best in the league right now. I don't want to leave."

"Well, come on over to the hot seat, Yagami," Yamato says, half-teasingly, patting a seat. Then he winces and clutches his hand. "Literally..."

Takeru laughs. "Or we could just choose a seat in the shade over there," he suggests.

"Yeah...about that..."

I try to laugh, but it's a little difficult. I can't help but feel a little nervous about what I'm about to reveal to the brothers, but I know at this point, I don't really have a choice.

We pick a row that's nicely shaded about halfway up, and I sit in the middle.

"Now spill," Yamato commands.

I take a giant breath and exhale slowly. "Well...it all started when we figured out that only Koushirou and I could hang out at this 'party' or whatever-"

"Huh?" Yamato blinks a couple times.

"They tried to organize a party at Koushirou's for the guys of the Chosen Children since his parents were out, but everyone was busy," Takeru explains. "We knew you had band practice."

"Ah." The confusion is gone. "Go on."

"Anyway, so we hung out, and we went to get his video games at my place 'cause I'd borrowed them, but Takeru and Hikari were too busy playing them..."

"You hung out with Hikari?" Yamato still has the same protective-older-brother mode that I do.

Takeru crosses his arms and sighs. "Why is it that every time we hang out, you assume it's a date? We're _friends_."

"Yeah, but one day..." Yamato pauses. "Forget it. We're getting off-topic. _Anyway_." He looks at me again.

"So...we went to that new awesome arcade instead, grabbed some dinner, and then I had the crazy idea to go swimming in Tokyo Bay..."

They both make a face.

"Yeah, it's gross, I know. But we were splashing around and stuff, and..."

I trail off. That perfect image of Koushirou at that moment is so clear in my head... My heart stops at it. I just sit there, gazing at it in my mind's eye, until Yamato has to wave his hand in front of me to bring me back to reality.

"Yoo-hoo...anyone in there?"

"Ah!" I shake my head furiously and blink a couple times. "I-I'm sorry, I..."

Both Yamato and Takeru are looking at me with a lot of concern. I look down at my hands.

"There was this moment... I don't know what it was... But Koushirou suddenly looked..._beautiful_ to me... And that's when I seemed to realize...when it seemed to _click_...that he could work as something more than a friend to me." I looked up. "Is that weird?"

"Uh, just a _little_." Yamato decides to state the obvious. "You sure you weren't just, well, having an off moment? I mean, come on, Taichi, I know you're impulsive, but _really_-"

"You didn't let me finish my story!"

"Fine, fine, go on."

"Well..." I breathe in and out again. "As you can imagine...I was feeling really confused and stuff, so I was acting weird and Koushirou noticed... Meanwhile, _he_ was acting weird, so I asked him what was up... And basically, once we got back to his place, we agreed to tell each other what was on our minds."

They're listening. Intently. It's making me more nervous.

"So..." I kind of feel _bad_ doing this. I mean, I feel like _Koushirou_ should be the one telling them, but it's kind of a crucial part of the story... At this point, I don't think he'll mind too much. Besides, like I said, I bet Hikari knows by now. So...here I go.

"Basically...he told me he's gay and that he's been too scared to tell anyone."

Takeru is taken aback a bit, but then he seems to be thinking. "Koushirou-san...gay?"

"Oh, come on, Takeru." Yamato rolls his eyes. "You can't _seriously_ be _that_ surprised about it."

Takeru does a bit of the shifty eye look. "Well..."

"Exactly." Yamato nods. "It's not _that_ much of a shock. But of course, it's totally fine."

"Of course it is." Takeru gives a quick smile. "Koushirou-san...you just don't associate feelings and stuff like that with him, that's all," he defends.

"Yeah, I know," Yamato says. "I kind of wish he would have told us, though. I mean, what was he afraid of by telling us?"

"He kind of realized that after he told me," I jump in. "But, well, I guess when there's people like Shimizu-sensei..." It kind of makes sense now.

"Yeah..." Yamato and Takeru both nod in understanding.

"Well, so after that?" Takeru asks.

I can feel the heat rising to my face. "He...he..."

"He what?"

I look over at Yamato. "The crush he wouldn't tell us about..."

It isn't too long before Yamato asks, "It's you, isn't it?"

I nod as I look away.

There's a pause as I can only imagine that both of them are pondering this.

"Well...I can see that," Yamato says finally. "I mean, he's always trusted you and respected you and all, so I can imagine that after so many years-"

"It's been that way since the moment he _saw_ me."

"_What? _You're exaggerating."

"It's a direct quote."

I look up at him again and his mouth is open. So is Takeru's. They both blink a couple of times before Yamato just breathes, "Wow..."

"So...of course...I'm like blown over hearing all this...which only makes me more confused about the thing in the water... So I tell him about it and...and..."

"And what?"

"And...well...one thing led to another..."

They both just stare at me, expecting me to go on, before I just nod slowly, hoping they'll get the message.

Then, they get it.

Their mouths slowly drop open and Yamato stutters, "Y-You didn't..."

I nod as I look down. "Yeah...we did."

Takeru just wears the same expression while Yamato rubs his face with his hands. "Taichi...you've gotten yourself into a big pile of crap, you know that?"

"Why is it crap?" I ask defensively.

"Because sex fucks with _everything_, Taichi!"

"Please, Yamato, like you know-"

"I _do!_"

Now it's my turn to be taken aback. This is news to me. He's never told that he and Sora have done it, although considering that I liked her for so long... Yeah, whatever.

"Sora and I had sex before we were really ready." He pauses and points to Takeru. "Not a _word_ to okaa-san and otou-san, you hear me?"

Takeru's face is similar to one that's just been run over by a car, but he nods slowly and obediently.

Yamato turns back to me. "It made us believe that we were really in love and that we were gonna get married and shit. And we're fine and all now, but... After awhile, we both kind of realized how powerful it is. It fucked with our emotions like hell and almost ruined us." He takes a deep breath and blows it out. "It's a great way to express love when you're ready, don't get me wrong. But at the same time, it makes you believe that you're feeling emotions that you're not. What you two did, Taichi... Whatever you're feeling right now could very well change within a day or so when the 'high' of it all goes away. And I think it's the last thing Koushirou deserves."

I stare at him, unable to believe what I've just heard. "W-Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Just because you can't keep your secrets longer than 24 hours doesn't mean that I can." AKA – "It was none of your business, douchebag."

"Alright, alright..."

"But I do have to ask, Taichi-san," says Takeru. "Does...does this mean you're bi or something?"

"Yeah, I mean, you used to go checking out hot babes with me... Why this all of a sudden?" Yamato looks just as confused.

"That's the thing... I'm still straight. I _know_ I am. But..." I look up at Yamato with confused eyes. "The feelings I had when...I was with Koushirou...I've never felt anything like it."

"Taichi, why do you think people love sex?"

"Okay, yeah, but... I guess what I'm really wondering is...is the same thing you guys are. Like, why so suddenly? Why did I just randomly decide that Koushirou – a _guy_ – is suddenly all perfect for me? It's like, _do_ I have some sort of gay side to me or what?"

They both think about this for a minute. Then Yamato replies, "I can't answer that, but maybe you can in time. Considering this is only the day after all of this happened, you can't expect to have all of the answers."

"I know," I reply, sighing. "I just wish I could have the answers _now_."

"We're all familiar with that feeling." When I look up, Yamato's holding up his Digivice with an eyebrow raised.

I have to chuckle. "I guess Koushirou will never stop being the one uncovering answers, huh?"

"I guess." Yamato pauses again. "Honestly, even if Koushirou was a girl, he would _not_ be the first person on my list as someone compatible for you. At first, anyway. I mean, I'd have to say you guys balance each other out nicely, though-"

"Yeah, exactly!" I exclaim, happy to see that he's starting to get it.

"-and you guys get along really well in general," he finishes.

"And now that I think about it, Koushirou _is_ a little feminine in a way," Takeru says before hastily adding, "Don't tell him I said that!"

"What do you mean?" Yamato asks.

"Well...you know, he's got this really pale and nice skin, he's on the shorter side, and even just the way he's built isn't typical of a guy. You know what I mean? I mean he even keeps his _fingernails_ kind of long... Stop looking at me like I'm crazy!"

"And his eyes," I add. "His goddamn eyes."

They're both looking at me now. I just shake my head.

"Takeru's kind of right in that sense. But I don't really know if that's it."

"You know, Taichi..." Yamato finally says, "Who cares?"

I look up at him. "Hmm?"

"I mean..." He hesitates. "Do you _really_ feel like you have something here?"

I nod with confidence. "I do."

"Even though you could get hurt? That _he_ could get hurt?"

"I want to try. I'm willing to risk it. And I know he is, too."

They both keep looking at me, unsure of what to say.

"You made him come to the game with that turtleneck on?"

"He wanted to come."

"This is why you cut your hair, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I had him cut it to be all symbolic and stuff..."

"You? Symbolic?"

"Shut up."

"_He_ cut it? Wow, he did a pretty good job."

"I know, right?"

Yamato stares at me hard again before saying, "Well...if you want my opinion, I say give it some more time to think it over before making a commitment. Personally, I think you'll change your mind. At the same time..." His expression softens. "For all I know, you guys could have something here. So...good luck with whatever you do."

"Yeah, ultimately, it's your choice," Takeru finishes.

I nod. "Yeah...I know."

"Onii-chan!"

We look to our left to see Hikari coming towards us, Koushirou following behind. My heart lifts to see that he looks better; my sister worked her magic on him.

"Hey..." I greet her, but I stand up to get to Koushirou. I push past everyone and meet him on the stairs.

We look at each other for a moment before we naturally fall into an embrace. I hug Koushirou close and whisper, "Remember, Koushirou, I'll be here to help you."

I can hear him chuckle to himself. "Thank you, Taichi-san."

I run my hand through his hair, but I try not to get _too_ intimate with him. I don't want to get caught-up in a public place, plus I don't want to make the others uncomfortable.

We pull away and look at the others. "Well...thank you guys," I say to Yamato and Takeru.

"No problem," Yamato replies as Takeru nods.

"Hikari-san..._arigato gozaimasu_." He bows to her.

"Of course, Koushirou-san." She smiles happily. "Just let me know a convenient time to kill you."

We all blink for a moment. "Wh-What?" stutters Koushirou.

"You touched my brother. That means I have to kill you, remember?" She winks while Takeru starts laughing.

"Ah, I apologize, Hikari-san," Koushirou responds in a playful voice. "I suppose I just couldn't help it..."

Now I'm the one blushing. Great. "Well, I think we'll take it from here," I say, changing the subject and looking back at Koushirou. "We have a lot to talk about..."

"Yes." He nods at me.

"Before you go," Yamato jumps in, "since we're all spilling secrets here, does anyone _else_ want to reveal anything they're hiding...?"

"_We're not together!_" Takeru and Hikari cry at the same time.

The rest of us laugh, and that's when Takeru's cell phone goes off.

"Oh, sorry, guys." He picks it up. "_Moshi-mosh-?_"

"OH MY GOD, TAKERU-KUN!" Miyako-chan's voice blares from the phone so loudly that Takeru has to pull it as far away from his face as he can.

"M-Miyako-san!?" Takeru replies, confused and little shell-shocked.

"DID YOU HEAR? DID YOU HEAR? TAICHI-SAN AND IZUMI-SENPAI ARE TOGETHER! AHHHH, ISN'T IT SO CUTE!?"

For the second time that day, there's an awkward, silent moment. Then Takeru simply shuts the phone and sighs. "I'm sorry, guys..."

"Wow...gossip usually doesn't spread this fast," Hikari says almost sadly.

"You'd be surprised..." Yamato mumbles bitterly.

"Are you okay?" I ask Koushirou.

I notice that he's tensed a bit, but then I see his shoulders fall. "Well..." he says quietly, "all I can say is that I hope that it doesn't stay too blown out of proportion for much longer." He looks up at all of us and says in a more confident voice, "I've always said to myself that I don't want to make a big announcement out of what I am, nor out of this. So if everyone finds out and then puts it in the back of their mind as common knowledge of sorts...I'll be happy."

We all nod. "Good luck to you two," Hikari says.

"The same," say Yamato and Takeru.

"Thanks, guys." I look at Koushirou. "Back to your place?"

"Sure." He blushes a little. "I think we still need to take the sheets out of the dryer..."

"Alright, and with that, I'm out of here." We laugh as Yamato turns on his heels and says, "Takeru, Hikari, come on. We need a good talk about the birds and the bees..."

"For the last _time_, onii-chan...!" Takeru cries as he runs after him.

Hikari just giggles and pipes, "See you!" to us and follows after them.

We just shake our heads and look at each other. Koushirou's enlightened smile is back, and it makes me feel all the more confident and ready to prove Yamato's prediction wrong.

I pick up my gym stuff, and we start walking in the direction of his apartment.

"You should take off the turtleneck now," I advise him. "I mean, putting aside the fact that the secret's out, you really look miserable."

"Actually, all of this has sort of distracted me from the heat." He keeps his smile. "I'm perfectly fine waiting until we get back."

"Alright, suit yourself. But if you faint, I might just have to embarrass you more by carrying you in my arms." I wink at him.

He blushes. "I think I'll be okay."

"Fine then." A pause. "So...what did you talk about with Hikari?"

"Hmm? Oh." His face flushes a little again. "I ended up telling her everything... She's a good listener." He shifts uncomfortably. "I hope you don't mind..."

"No, it's what I figured, actually. Hikari has the tendency to get me to spill all of my secrets, just 'cause I know she'll listen and won't tell."

Koushirou nods. "I appreciated her company."

"What did she say after you told her?"

His blush is _much_ harder now. "That she knew about my crush on you for a really long time."

I'm startled by this. "How in the hell would she have known that?"

"Taichi-san, your sister somehow ended up having thousands of Numemon to bow down to her." He raises his eyebrow at me, as though I'm missing the obvious. "She has something special about her. Her intuition is only a part of that, I think."

"Well...when you asked how she knew, what did she say?"

"Just that: Intuition. She said she could start to tell when she came with us to the Digital World to fight the Dark Masters. And that's why she was one of the few who didn't believe that I was writing that love letter to Mimi-san." He flicks his eye down, then up to me again shyly. It's too cute. "She knew it was for you, but pretended to be sick to try and change the subject."

"So it _was_ for me... I had wondered about that earlier." I smile at him and ask teasingly, "What did it say?"

"Ah..." The blush is back. "I can honestly say that I don't remember very well... I made sure it was deleted off my computer so no one could ever find it."

"Koushirou, has anyone's fingers besides yours _ever_ touched your laptop?"

He ponders this for a moment before replying, "No, I don't think so."

"Then why the hell were you so nervous about it?"

He shrugs a little. "I was paranoid, I guess... I really didn't want anyone to find out at that point."

"Well...it's all worked out now, right?" I give him a little peck on the cheek.

His face is still red as he brings his fingers up to the kiss. "Yes..." That's when I noticed that Takeru was right; his longer fingernails _do_ make his fingers seem more girly.

But I don't think he _would_ appreciate hearing that.

"I guess what I was originally asking, though," I say, "is if she gave you any advice."

"Basically, she said to ignore people like Shimizu-sensei and follow my heart. Really, besides very well-chosen encouraging words, that's all she said." He paused. "I have to say that I found it all very ironic, considering that Shimizu-sensei-"

"Was the teacher who was in the charge of the soccer club where we first met." His eyes lighten up and he nods. "I was thinking the same thing," I tell him.

"It's a shame," he says quietly.

"I know," I agree.

"But...in the future, Taichi-san...maybe we can keep our, um...personal actions to more private places?"

I have to laugh as I rustle his hair. "I'm sorry. That was completely my fault and I shouldn't have done it. But then again..." I wink at him. "You didn't exactly _fight_ my advances."

He looks down to hide his face, but honestly, he really hasn't stopped blushing this entire time. "I...guess I couldn't help it..."

"I could tell," I tease.

"But in all seriousness, Taichi-san, I think it would be to everyone's benefit that we refrain from putting on public displays of affection."

"Aw, not even holding hands? Or a hug? Or a quick kiss? Or-"

"Taichi-san."

My smile falters when I look at him and realize that he's serious. "I'm sorry...I-"

"I guess...those small things would be okay... But I'd hope that you know what I mean when I say that I don't want to do anything that others would consider obnoxious."

I nod in complete understanding. "Considering that I find it annoying when others do that, I might as well not be hypocritical about it."

"Exactly." He smiles in satisfaction.

Then the question that's been bothering me all day pops into my mind. "Um...so since we're talking about not really doing much PDA and stuff like that, are we, um..." I pause as I feel my own cheeks get hot. "...'going out?'"

"Um...do you mean 'dating,' Taichi-san?"

"Whatever you want to call it."

I look at him. I can tell that these kinds of subjects are still awkward for him. Even though he's being really shy about it, his fidgeting fingers let me know that he's anxious to talk about it, too.

"I've...been wondering the same thing." He gets the guts to look up at me. "It's like, the way we've been talking, it _seems_ as though we are, but..."

"It hasn't been officially stated," I finish.

"Right." He bites at his lower lips and looks left and right as I look at him. "So...um..."

"No, no. Let me do the honors." I stop walking and take his hands into my own, never letting my gaze waver away from him. "I can only imagine that you've dreamt of this moment, right?" His harder blush lets me know that's a yes. I smile wider. "Well...I want to make it happen."

Before I can say anything, I can't help but let Yamato's warning echo in my head.

"_Give it some more time to think it over before making a commitment...you'll change your mind..."_

But as Koushirou's shy, yet happy eyes finally meet mine, I _know_ that I have something here.

"Will you go out with me, Izumi Koushirou?"

He giggles a little, of all things, and replies, "Of course, Yagami Taichi-san."

We both beam and give each other a tight hug, and as he's pulling away, I sneak a kiss onto his lips. Oh, that lovely enlightened smile.

"So...does this mean that this is okay now?" I lace my fingers into his again.

But this time, he squeezes my hand. "I suppose it is," he replies.

We grin at each other before we start walking again, and even though I can feel a few curious eyes on us as we pass, I don't care. All I've wanted to do is show the world how much I care for Koushirou, and now that I'm doing it, I can't imagine ever hiding it again. All of these daydreams of what the future is going to be like start flashing through my head, and the absolute bliss on Koushirou's face can only fuel my own happiness.

When we get to his door, we look at each again and can't help but fall into another hug. He gives me that wonderful smile once more before his eyes break away from mine so he can find his key in his pocket.

As he unlocks the door, I can't help but tease, "So Koushirou, I'm still allowed to kick your ass in video games, right? Right?"

He doesn't answer. I blink a couple times as I look down at him. Then, I'm surprised to find his eyes wide and his body frozen.

"Right...?"

But then I look to see where he's staring, and that's when I see that the Izumis have come back from their trip early. They're sitting at the kitchen table, faces stolid, waiting.

"Koushirou...please sit down."

And all I can think about at that moment is how all of Koushirou's wishes for this situation have just gone completely opposite to plan, and that somehow, it's all my fault.

* * *

A/N: So I wrote up to when Taichi and Koushirou leave the others on my trip, and I've written the rest tonight... Curse wisdom teeth surgery... It sucks. But before you ask, yes, I'm fine and am feeling much better. Anyway, hope you liked it!


	32. In the Shadows

_In the Shadows_

_

* * *

_

_He's mine, he's mine, don't you see? Can't you see? WON'T you see? I want to be the one who can protect him, like I always have, and hold his hand and make him happy. Isn't that enough?_

His parents' faces are stern as we walk slowly into the kitchen. Koushirou can't even bear to look at them, his eyes turned downward and an ashamed blush over his cheeks. He doesn't need to be ashamed. Hell, if I knew he wouldn't kill me for doing it, I'd just scream everything that happened to them and tell them to take it or leave it. But, in being my new self, I decide to hold back.

He sits down—almost making no sound—at the table, and I slowly let my sports bag drop down from my shoulder. I start to pull out the chair to take a seat—making a screeching noise as I drag it across the floor—and everyone winces before his dad says:

"Taichi-kun…I think it would be best if we talked to Koushirou alone."

"No."

We all look at Koushirou, who still hasn't lifted his eyes.

"I…I want him to be here."

I look back up at his parents, my hand still gripping the chair. They glance at each other, and it's so hard to understand their expressions, but their eyes close and their lips loosen and his dad replies, "Then I assume you already know what we're going to discuss with you, Koushirou?"

"Yes, otou-san," Koushirou says almost mechanically.

His mom gives me a slightly nervous smile, although I know she's really attempting to be kind. As I take a seat, this makes me start to wonder: Do they actually know everything that happened? And if so, _how_ do they know? Did someone call them? And why aren't they ridiculously pissed-off at me? Shouldn't they be?

_Maybe we can cross boundaries and do all of that and just make our parents see differently. I know they were taught this when they were young, and so were we, even if they didn't really say it outright, but we knew it. And I knew it until I saw him in that changed light. Call me a romantic, because maybe that's what I am and I'm okay with that and maybe everyone should be like that anyway._

His dad takes a deep breath and says, "First of all, Koushirou, I cannot say that your mother and I are not disappointed in you. However, I think it's mostly because we're more…surprised than anything."

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Koushirou's already-curled fists tighten. Out of what—anger, anxiety, restraint—I don't know.

"We want you to know that we want to support all that you do, because we love you," his mom continues. "However, we are just a bit mystified…because we thought you knew better than this."

At that, I frown. Then I start to wonder…does she know the whole story? "Knew better than that?" I mean, unless they're the kind of people who believe that being gay is a choice and all of that bullshit—

"What do you mean, okaa-san?" Koushirou kind of has a puzzled look on his face, too.

She pauses, stiffening up again, and looks to his dad, who has his eyes closed, his arms crossed, and his lips pursed. He inhales through his nose and then declares, "Koushirou, we'd like to know who your girlfriend is."

I almost laugh out loud. No, I am almost on the ground, in _stitches_, _dying_, _absolutely positively in hysterics_…but I hold it all back, my eyes wide and on the verge of tearing up with laughter, covering it up mischievously with an unfortunately obvious fake cough.

And looking at Koushirou, I can tell that he really, _really_ wants to give himself a facepalm right now.

"Girlfri-?"

"We saw the sheets in the dryer!" His mom suddenly exclaims. "And…and the…the _thing_ in the trash…"

_Oh, fuck. I am such an idiot._

I never exactly tried to _hide_ what I threw away…

Koushirou blinks a couple of times in confusion, trying to process exactly what she just said, and he immediately looks over to me with a hastily put-on angered look. His hands fly to his hips, his eyebrows furrow, and his mouth drops open with the one word, "I-!" It's a familiar sight: I do something stupid, he chastises me for it. And oh, do I need the chastisement.

But, feeling his parents' eyes on us, he stops and wipes it all away magically—effortlessly, really, as he must be so used to doing—and goes right back to looking down at his lap shamefully.

"Koushirou, Taichi-kun didn't tell on you," his dad tries to assure him. "We were able to figure it out for ourselves."

Erm…kinda.

"We just want to know who your girlfriend is so that we can be an active part of your life…and to make sure that her parents know, too," his mom says quietly.

This is sounding kind of good and bad at the same time. On the one hand, they seem to be genuinely more concerned than mad, and that's definitely what I want to be hearing. But on the other hand, they really, really don't know the half of it…

"So who is it, Koushirou?" His dad's arm are crossed, his eyes hard. His mom's hands are folded in her lap, and she looks up at him with a mother's worry. I look at him, too, because, hell, I have no idea what to do at this point and I'm just curious as to what exactly he's going to say.

He looks up for a moment, and his eyes widen at all of our gazes searing into him. He looks back down, guarding his dignity, saving face—all I'm really doing is hoping that he'll get the Courage to take a deep breath and tell them the truth. But his eyes have to dart back and forth for a few moments before my shoulders fall at realizing that he's trying to think of a name.

"It's…it's whom you always thought it was," he says at last, almost in a whisper.

My gut jerks. _Have they actually…known?_

His dad looks confused for a moment, but then his mom's face immediately brightens with relieved joy.

"Oh, oh! Is it that wonderfully delightful Mimi-chan!"

_FACEPALM, FACEPALM, FACEPALM._

Mimi-chan! MIMI-CHAN! First of all, not only do I think that Mimi-chan has never, ever even been the _slightest_ interested in Koushirou past the point of making him uncomfortable with her flirty personality, but he would absolutely, one hundred percent, _never_ be interested in her back! Who the hell would _ever_ think that those two could be—

Oh, that's right. I did.

As I'm sitting in my little corner of the table being my stupid self, I hear his dad ask, "Mimi-chan? Who's that?"

"Oh, that darling young lady who was part of Koushirou's friends from summer camp! Don't you remember, dear? The Tachikawa family? They moved to America, but they come back and visit every so often!"

"Oh! Right! Keisuke and Satoe!" His dad now seems thrilled, too. "They're such nice people, and right, right, I remember now. They're daughter's a doll." His face sports a grin and he turns it to Koushirou. "And, from what I remember, she's not too bad-looking, either. Nice going, son!"

I wanna barf. And by the looks of it, Koushirou does, too. And honestly, it's not just at the idea of Mimi-chan in bed (despite the fact that she's hot, I bet she'd be super awkward in bed). I'm kind of mad, actually. I _hate_ how he has to be ashamed of me, _especially_ in front of his parents! They're gonna find out anyway, all of the soccer team already knows, so why waste his breath with lies? He's _gonna_ have to face them! So why not just _do _it?

"But wait, they usually email us when they're visiting." His mom's face suddenly morphs into thinking mode. "Why would they pick this weekend of all weekends to come, when we were supposed to go away? And not tell the rest of us about it?" She actually just seems genuinely hurt that they wouldn't do that.

"Um, well, sometimes Mimi-chan visits alone…" Koushirou said, his cheeks actually turning pink.

"Don't you see, dear, they picked this weekend _because_ we'd be out of town," his dad, erm, "clarifies."

"Oh!" His mom's cheeks swiftly turn a bright shade of pink. "Ah, yes, well, I suppose that would make sense…" She gives an awkward "heh."

There is silence for a moment. I feel frustratingly on the fringe of the situation, despite the fact that I should be right smack-dab in the middle of it. Or am, really, for that matter. I have zero idea where exactly Koushirou is going to go with this lie, especially since Mimi-chan is currently in America, and I don't think any Digital Gates are open right now. And even if there were, I don't really think she'd ever go along with the story that she did the deed with him, not to mention that I don't know how believable she'd be or how long they could keep it up—

"So…um…where is she now?" His mom asks. "We'd like to have this talk with her, too."

I look right back at Koushirou, feeling a little victorious, actually, at the fact that he's being out-smarted, and he winces. He's _not_ on his game today. Though I guess I can't really blame him, the softer side of me feels, he's already been through enough…

"Aah, well, you know, she wanted to go visit with her other friends. She doesn't get to see them often, and ah, well…"

"Oh, well, maybe she could come over later then?" his dad inquires.

"Ah, um, well, you see…" He's searching, he's searching… Just tell them, already… "I think she made some other plans. I, um, can't really know because, you know, she can't use her cell phone here because she's on an American plan, and it would cost her too much money, so I can't really contact her, and uh…"

If there's one thing I know about Koushirou, it's that in these kinds of situations, he's a really, really, _really_ bad liar. He gets all nervous and he starts to shake a little, and then he gives that really scared little laugh, looking all sheepish and stuff.

Not gonna lie: It's kinda cute.

At this point, I can tell that his parents have quickly gone from satisfied and excited to uncertain and suspicious. His dad's arms are crossed again and his mom is back to being timid. I've moved to the edge of my seat, teetering on the edge of control. It's been taking a lot of effort to keep my mouth sealed, but I know I have to do it…

"Koushirou, are you telling us the truth?" I think his dad is recognizing the same Koushirou mode that I am.

"Koushirou, maybe we fell for this act when you were little, but I know you." His mom looks at him with the sternest look I have ever seen on her face. "Are you lying to us?"

It's painful to look at him. He's really shaking now, and upon closer inspection, I think I see some tears forming in his eyes. His fists are clenched so hard that they must be coated in sweat, and he's even breathing kind of hard. Really, I just wanna put him out of his misery. But I know I can't, I can't…

"I-I, I don't want to lie to you, I…it's just that she, um… I don't think that…"

They both lean in a little, trying to break down his wall of lies with their piercing stares.

"P-Please, you have to believe me, I just, she, we…I-"

"_IT'S ME!_"

Silence. Wait, wait, whoa, slow down, what just happened? Rewind for a second. Okay, um… Well, looks like I'm standing up, the chair where I was sitting is now knocked over, and all three of them are staring at me like I'm freaking crazy. Koushirou is completely and utterly mortified. His parents? Definitely…bewildered, to say the least. And me? Well, hey. I just pretty much proclaimed to my boyfriend's parents I screwed their son. Booyakasha.

The phone rings. It stings my ears. No one's moving to get it. Sounds good to me. It's still ringing. For goodness' sake, go to voicemail already. Finally, silence again.

Then: "T-Taichi-kun? What?"

"It's me." I'm fully conscious now. Sometimes my rashness really knows when to step in, whether I want it to or not. "I'm Koushirou's gi-err-boyfriend."

They still gawk at me. Koushirou has put his head in his hands, and I want to go and hug and comfort him, but no. I have to deal with this for him, because he can't.

His mom just looks blown-away with surprise. His dad looks kind of gruff at first, but he clears his throat and seems to relax a little. "How…long has this been the state of things?" he asks.

"Like…literally fifteen minutes," I reply. "That it's been 'official,' anyway. Um…"

I look towards him. There are things I wanna say, but I don't know if he wants me to say them. "Koushirou?" I ask, a little meek. He turns away from me a little bit, brings his hands away from his face, and he gives me a shrug so slight that had I not been paying the closest attention, I wouldn't have noticed it.

"We only…_realized_ things last night."

I hear a gulp. A familiar kind of gulp—the kind that Hikari makes when she's about to cry and gives apologies that she doesn't even need to make; when she feels overwhelmed by feelings and guilt for really no reason at all; when she thinks that things are her fault.

And it's Koushirou making that gulp now. And then, I'm shocked by what I see: Tears.

"Oh, Koushirou!" His mother rushes out of her seat and goes to the other side of the table, throwing her arms around her son. "Koushirou, honey, please don't be ashamed. You don't have to cry. Koushirou, my sweet boy…"

It's too late, though; he's literally bawling into the sleeve of her shirt.

I'm a little unsure of what to do, and it looks as though his dad is, too. I've never been really good with this, no matter how hard I try. Hikari is always overflowing with feelings, and I've never been able to quite understand them. Hell, look at how good I am at dealing with my_ own_ feelings. It was always easy with Koushirou because his feelings always seemed so minimal. But now…to see him like this…to have seen him last night…

Where did all of this _come_ from?

"I'm sorry…" he gasps in between sobs, "I'm sorry…"

"Shh…" his mom coaxes him, "You don't have to apologize…"

"I lied to you," he manages again.

"We, um…understand why you said it was Mimi-"

"No," he bewails, "my whole life I've lied to you! I'm so sorry I never told you that I'm…I'm…you know. I'm a lie, I'm terrible, I-"

"Stop this right now, Izumi Koushirou!"

We're all tense as his mom pulls away from their embrace and holds both of his shoulders firmly, her face hard. Koushirou puts his crying on hold and looks at her in shock; I'm don't think she's had to yell at him like that very often.

But suddenly, her shoulders fall and her expression is back to its normal state. She gives a little bit of a smile and strokes his hair. "Koushirou, don't you dare think for one second that this makes us think any worse of you," she says calmly, soothingly. "I don't know how this will make you feel, but your father and I have actually discussed this possibility in the past." Koushirou noticeably tenses up. "And you need to know that we said that if it was the case, then we could still support you one hundred percent, and that we would make sure that we would look out for you in everything that goes along with it."

"Your mother's right, son," his dad says, still in his seat.

"And if anything…" She looks up at me with that same smile, and it actually catches me slightly off guard. "I'm glad it was with Taichi-kun that you've found a connection."

That makes me feel pretty awesome.

"I've loved him for so long, okaa-san," I hear him whisper.

That…still makes me feel awesome, but definitely in a strange kind of way.

But she smiles a little bit wider, pauses for a moment, and then whispers back, "I think I may have always known."

He hugs her tight, and I smile. Well, I guess that was a good decision! Of course they'd accept him! They're _Koushirou's parents._ Why wouldn't they?

I hear his dad clear his throat again, "However…"

Aw, crap, now what?

"I have to say that it was a rather…_rash_ decision, to do what you two did last night."

I'm not gonna lie. I have to admit that…

"Would you agree with me on that, dear?"

His mom finishes the hug and looks at Koushirou with a "you-know-better-than-that" kind of look. "I would have to say that I do. It's my duty as a parent to say that."

Koushirou is looking embarrassed again, and hey, I guess I am kind of, too. I guess it's just because talking about sex with your parents is awkward any day, but I mean, _this…_

No regrets, though. Definitely not.

"But um…it seems as though you boys know what you're doing…" He coughs. Yeah, I get it. "So while I can't exactly give you my full support on that decision, at least you went the educated way about doing it."

"Agreed," his mom affirms.

_So _glad he decided not to be explicit about it.

Koushirou sniffles a little bit, then seems to realize exactly what kind of state he's in and hastily wipes his tears away. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Stop apologizing," his mom insists, laughing a little bit. "It's all over now. You're still our son, and we couldn't be more lucky or blessed to have you."

I beam broadly at that, but then I feel his dad's eyes on me. When I look over, he's leaning over the table, brooding. Then he asks, "I hope you don't take offense to this, Taichi-kun, but… Are you sure your feelings are…legitimate?"

Yeah, yeah, I get it. I seem like the straightest guy in the world, I know. Don't worry, I'm still a little shaken by it, too. "I'm rather certain, sir," I reply in my most respectful Japanese. I even decide to bow. "I can promise you that I would not lie to myself so that I may respect the feelings of your son. It would be the greatest dishonor to everyone involved to do that."

I peek over at Koushirou. He blinks a couple of times in surprise. Heh. I don't think he's _ever_ seen or heard me be so polite. Heck, I'm surprised I even remembered the tenses…

I need to work on that.

I stand up straight, and his dad still seems to be a little unmoved. But then he gets up, walks over to me, and puts his hand on my shoulder with a strong pat. "All right. I'm just making sure."

"Completely understandable," I reply, confident.

"You already have earned our trust, and for that I have to say that I am grateful," he proclaims.

I can't help but puff out my chest a little bit. "I am appreciative of that, too, Izumi-san."

"Well!" his mom exclaims happily, standing up, holding Koushirou's hands. "Don't you feel better, Koushirou?"

He stands up with her, and he needs to balance himself; he's dizzy, rushed, breathless at everything that's just happened. "Yeah…" He laughs a little bit, winded. "Yeah! I…I don't know why I didn't do it sooner…"

"It's okay, Koushirou," his dad assures him, finally walking over and giving him a long-overdue hug.

And then Koushirou comes over and gives me a hug, nuzzling his face into my chest. I can feel all of his tension suddenly disappear, and overwhelmed, I hug him back. I glance up. His dad has put his arm around his mom, and they look so very happy to see us happy.

We move on from the topic. They talk about how their connecting train was cancelled and so they had to cancel their trip altogether, and so they stayed in a motel overnight and that's why they got back early. I'm barely listening through all of this, because I'm _really_ tempted to steal Koushirou away and yell, "I told you so! I told you so!" But I know that's the _last_ thing he probably wants to hear right now, so I refrain.

We stick around for a little while, and then they encourage us to go talk to my parents about it. Koushirou seems kind of uneasy at that, but definitely more comfortable than before. I nod in agreement—Hey, why not? Might as well—and they send us off with smiles and waves and "good lucks."

We walk to my apartment in a contented quietness. We hold hands. We have happy, soft smiles. Nothing can touch us right now. Nothing.

Except maybe the smell of alcohol when we walk through my apartment door.

"_TAICHI!_"

Why does everyone know? Why, why, _why_ does everyone already know?

* * *

Oh, hey there! Yeah, I know, it's been a really, really long time. I hope you can forgive me, and I hope it's been worth it. As you may have read in my profile, I've been so busy and distracted with school, friends, and my own love life that this and other stories were put on a serious hiatus. Many times, I came back to it and said, "Alright, let's just do it!" and then it didn't happen. Luckily, this time it did.

I hope you enjoy it, and I hope that I can keep this up until I can finish it within at least the next couple months.

Also, this is a rough draft; I just wanted to get it out there. I'm going to edit it soon.


	33. Wrongfully Ignored

_Wrongfully Ignored_

* * *

When I was really little, like maybe three or something, I knew there was something strange about that smell. It almost felt like someone had punched me in the nose every time the odor hit my face after it had drifted out of my dad's mouth. I remember kaa-san yelling—I can only assume what about—but it always ended with slamming doors mixed with my high-pitched toddler screams. It didn't take long before it was every night that otou-san wouldn't come back from work before it was bedtime, and that I would always wake up to the sound of them fighting.

It's funny, because if I think about it, I can remember that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach—but in the back of my mind—when I was going to bed the night Greymon fought Parrotmon. But I was too worried about the little pink monster ball sleeping below in Hikari's bed. I remember my dad coming home, chanting our names, with my mom's routine attempt at trying to keep him quiet. But at that time, that little pink monster ball had just broken our bed by evolving into a giant orange beast.

Yeah, clearly I had some _bigger_ things to worry about.

The government officially declared the events of that night to be part of a mysterious terrorist attack that had also affected the digital technology in the area. When the police found us next to the crumbled bridge, they assumed that these terrorists must have abducted us, or something along those lines; maybe for ransom, who knew. They kept asking us all of these questions, even as my hysterical parents took us into their arms, weeping with horror. Of course, innocent Hikari saw no reason but to tell the truth:

"_You see, mister, this egg came out of our computer and it hatched and we took care of it, and then it turned into this giant dinosaur and this big parrot decided to fight it, so they made a big mess, and—"_

"_Yes, yes, alright. Taichi-kun, what actually happened here? Who took your sister? Do you know what they wanted? Did you see anything?"_

Of course they didn't take her seriously. They didn't take any of the kids or even the adults who saw it seriously, even though you'd think that it'd make sense that a bunch of people reporting seeing monsters at the exact same time would probably tell you that there's a good chance it actually happened. I did a bunch of research about the whole thing a couple of years ago. Apparently they chalked it up to them coping with psychological issues after seeing a traumatic event. "Mass hysteria." You know. They said they were repressing what actually happened and that it was impossible to get it out of them. Yeah, okay.

I didn't know what to tell them. They didn't believe Hikari, so why would they believe me? I made up some bullshit story about how I had seen some masked men kidnap Hikari and go down the fire escape, so I tried to chase them, but by the time I found Hikari, they had gone. I hadn't told my parents where I was going because I didn't want them to worry. That seemed to satisfy them; at least it made them stop interrogating Hikari and making her look like an idiot. I knew she wasn't an idiot.

But it's one of those things that after you're told the same lie, when you're told what you're expected to believe, when you're force-fed the same story over and over again, that you end up thinking that it's actually true.

So I blame that for why I didn't recognize Koromon, Agumon, and Greymon. Why I didn't remember the egg coming out of our computer, or that fight in Hikarigaoka. The other Chosen Children say they faced similar situations; Takeru insisted for so long to his mom that there had been monsters, but she never believed him, and even Yamato doubted what he had seen. It was the same for all of them, unless they decided not to say anything, like in Jou's case.

But Hikari never forgot. She never let herself forget. She always knew. That's why she recognized Koromon when we slipped into the real world.

My dad blamed himself for all of this. He blamed himself for being out late and getting drunk that night, otherwise maybe he would have been there to protect us. He blamed himself for Hikari's insistence on having seen monsters; he believed that she had created a dream world for herself to deal with the fact that he had such a small presence in our lives. I know this because at night, crying replaced the yelling. I know this because he started coming home right after work to play with us. I know this because he's rarely touched any alcohol since.

Until today.

I'd recognize that smell anywhere.

* * *

Koushirou grips my hand for a moment—a reassuring squeeze—before gently letting go as we trudge into yet another confrontation. He knows about my dad's old drinking problem, and although I'm feeling incredibly uncertain and fearful right now, he seems to be the braver one this time. Maybe because he's practiced this once already, or maybe because it's my parents this time, or maybe because he feels like he needs to be strong for me.

Yeah, I guess I'd appreciate that right about now.

I remember how scary it was when I was a kid, to see my dad drunk, but it was probably so scary to me because I didn't fully understand what was going on. I've always wondered how I would have seen it had I been older.

I guess I'm about to find out.

As we turn the corner into the kitchen, my eyes immediately go to my dad's hand gripped around an empty bottle of sake. I grimace at the smell; I've never been a fan of sake. I don't even want to look at my dad's face… Where are Hikari and kaa-san? I look over to find my mom, clearly on the edge of tears, mortified, with Hikari, who is embracing her, on the couch, trying to comfort her. Kaa-san doesn't look the least bit angry—though it takes a lot for her to be _truly_ angry with me anyway—so at least there's that. Hikari…she's just being her strong-willed self, I guess. I feel like she's always the most strong-willed when something is going wrong and she can help someone.

Kaa-san sees me and meets my eyes. She seems to blink a couple of times in confusion, before her expression turns into a surprised one.

_Ah, my hair._

I keep forgetting about it.

"Taichi."

I wince and look down at the floor. Otou-san's voice is rough, like a growl. It's like he's under the influence of a Dark Gear or a Dark Ring or something. He's a completely different person. It's been awhile, but I know it's how he gets.

"Acknowledge me, Taichi!"

A pause. I'm still looking at the floor, but I can feel Koushirou looking at me.

"Otou-san."

More silence. It hurts to listen to it.

"Taichi." I hear my mother's voice. "I want you to know that I'm not angry with you, just confu—"

"Be quiet!" my father orders. And she stops talking immediately.

I hear him turn back around to me. "We received an interesting phone call," he begins.

"Yeah?" I reply, still staring at the floor.

"Yes," he says, slamming the bottle on the kitchen table. Koushirou and I both jump a little. "From a—oh what was his name?—Shimizu-san, or something?"

_Oh you have got to be kidding me!_

Does this man have anything else better to do with his time than spew his hatred everywhere!?

"He called here?" I asked. Obviously he did, otherwise my dad probably wouldn't be in the state he's in right now, but I guess I need to prepare myself for the imminent shitstorm.

"He did," otou-san confirms. "And he told me something…very strange."

"I think he might have called my apartment, too," Koushirou whispers to me.

I turn to look up at him, puzzled. "Really?" I whisper back. "What makes you say that?"

"The phone rang when we were talking to my parents," he replies, "It might have been—"

"What the _hell_ are you talking about with…with…with _him_?"

I don't want to get angry. I really, _really_ don't want to get angry.

"None of your business." I'm strangely more controlled that I expected I would be.

There's silence for a moment. Then otou-san says, "He told me that you're together with…with _him_." There's that unnecessary emphasis again. "Tell me, Taichi, is this true, or is this man spreading lies about my son?"

I finally get the Courage to look up at him.

His eyebrows are furrowed, his eyes are red, and his lips are pursed. Seems right. It appears that he's controlling himself pretty well for now, but I'm not sure how he'll be when he hears what I'm about to tell him…

"Yes. It's true."

"_YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD!_"

He starts coming around the table—to do what to me, I'm not really sure—but in the blink of an eye, Hikari and kaa-san are holding him back, and Koushirou has stepped in front of me, protecting me. They're all protecting me.

I've protected all of them at some point, but now it's their turn to do it for me.

"Dear, please _stop_," my mom pleads.

"How long have you been hiding this under our noses, huh!?" he exclaims.

"I haven't!" I shout back. "This literally happened just yesterday! I haven't been hiding anything from you!"

"He's telling the truth!" Hikari cries. "Please, otou-san, he hasn't done anything wrong!"

"Anything _wrong_?" He frees himself from my mom and sister's grips and whirls around to glare at them. They step back in fear. "Anything _wrong_? There is _everything_ wrong with this!"

I can't help but step forward a little so I can see Koushirou's face. He looks…determined, I guess would be the best way to put it. It's like he's ready to head into battle, though unlike me, he only fights if he has to. In this case, I can tell that he's not going to be the one to make the first strike, but if my dad gets out-of-hand, I can tell that he'd fight back.

"How can I have a son who behaves like this? In such an unnatural way? I won't have it! I won't! I won't have this…this _boy_…corrupt my son!"

Immediately Hikari, kaa-san, and I begin shouting.

"What are you _talking_ about!?"

"It's Koushirou-kun, dear, he isn't like that!"

"Koushirou-san is really nice, otou-san, please believe us!"

"_Enough!_" He roars, sending everyone into silence. "It's clear to me that he's already begun to corrupt you. First your hair, then blatant, disgusting displays of affection in public, and then what? AIDS?"

…What?

_What?_

Did I _seriously_ just hear him correctly? Did I _seriously_ just hear him suggest that Koushirou—_Koushirou!_—has AIDS?

…I never knew my dad was so ignorant.

I'm in such a state of shock and disbelief that I almost haven't noticed that Hikari and kaa-san are yelling again.

"_It's Koushirou-kun! _How could you even _think_ such a thing!?"

"You clearly don't know Koushirou-san at all!"

Koushirou is still quiet. I turn to look at him, and it appears that he's in the same kind of shock as I. His mouth is slightly dropped open, his eyes blinking quickly and deliberately, as if this accusation has never even crossed his mind.

I mean, it shouldn't have. Obviously.

I look over at otou-san, my anger contained in my newly-formed fists. And I say to him:

"You know, otou-san, maybe if you had ever taken the chance to talk to Koushirou, you wouldn't be feeling this way."

He stops arguing with my family and turns to me, eyes venomous. "Yeah? And why do you say that?"

"Because let's put it this way: If Koushirou were a girl, you would be so pleased that you wouldn't be able to believe it." I pause before adding, "I mean, I can't even believe I've got him…"

Koushirou turns to look at me, his expression completely changed. He looks so grateful, so happy. I can't help but return his smile.

"Onii-chan is right, otou-san," Hikari says.

"Yes, dear, Koushirou is a polite, intelligent boy," kaa-san adds. "He is always so respectful and kind whenever he is here. Don't you remember him, dear? Have you never talked to him?" My mother touches him gently on the arm.

This seems to make him stop and think for a moment. Is there hope, maybe? I, for one, personally can't believe that he's flipping out about this, considering that he barely said anything when we had to go back to the Digital World.

Although, I guess we really didn't have a choice in that matter. All of our parents knew it; the freaking _world_ depended on us. Maybe he thinks that in this case, there is a choice.

I mean…I guess technically there _is_ a choice, but at this point I don't think I could chance my decision even if I tried. It would be easier to stay with Koushirou than to be apart from him.

"Taichi-san."

I immediately give my full attention to Koushirou. "Yeah?"

"Maybe…maybe I should talk to your parents alone," he tells me. I open my mouth to protest, but he stops me. "I'm sure that once we have a conversation and I can explain everything in a calm, logical manner, that things will work out for the best."

I think about this for a moment. Maybe he's right. He's always gotten me to see things clearly, so why wouldn't it work on my parents?

"Okay," I reply, and I look back up my dad, who is still glaring. "Is that okay with you?"

He pauses for a moment. "And why can't you stay out here and explain things yourself?"

"Because Koushirou's right: He'll be able to explain it a lot better than I can."

"He's also the source of your anger right now," Hikari jumps in. "Maybe if he's not in the room, you can think with a clearer mind."

Ah, Hikari. She always knows what to say.

His shoulders drop a bit, as to concede. "I suppose."

Maybe the alcohol is starting to wear off a bit? I hope so, anyway.

"I would like to provide an explanation to you as well, Yagami-san," he says to kaa-san. He bows to both of my parents and says in his politest Japanese, "Please excuse me for any anger and confusion I may have caused."

"Don't worry about it, Koushirou-kun," my mom replies.

Otou-san sighs. "Well, he is polite, I'll give him that much."

"Here, let's sit down," kaa-san offers, and the three of them sit, my parents on the couch, Koushirou on an adjacent chair.

"Come on, onii-chan, let's go talk." Hikari takes me by the hand and leads me into our room.

* * *

I let my soccer bag fall to my side and collapse facedown on Hikari's bed.

"Long day, huh?"

"You're telling me. Why is otou-san so angry about this?"

"He doesn't know how to handle it, is my guess," she says, sighing. "I think drinking has always been his way of dealing with things outside of his control."

"But he's been good for the past several years."

"I know, but things generally have been good. If you look back, though, he's had his slip-ups. Didn't he go drinking when I was in the hospital that one time?"

I had completely forgotten about that. But how…? "You're not supposed to know about that."

"I'm not stupid, onii-chan. I could smell it on his breath when he came to visit me afterwards."

I don't know what to say. Just… "Oh."

"Also…okaa-san told me that while we were in the Digital World fighting the Dark Masters, he almost went to go drink."

I immediately turn around to look at her after hearing that. "Really!?" So it _did_ really bother him…

"Yeah, but okaa-san made him stay, and since they were in public, he agreed."

"…How do you know this?"

"Okaa-san told me one day. I told her I couldn't believe how calm they had acted about that situation, and she told me that to say that he _was_ really worried. I mean, she was, too, of course."

"Yeah, I was actually just thinking about that back in the kitchen…" I trail off.

We don't say anything for a little while. I can't help but wonder what's going on in the living room. I can hear the faintest murmur of voices, but I don't think I have the emotional energy to try and eavesdrop.

"Do you think Shimizu-sensei called Koushirou's parents, too?" Hikari asks.

"We're pretty sure he tried," I answer. "We went over there before we came here, and the phone rang while we were there. But his parents had already figured it out…"

"Really? How?"

I hesitate. "They…found stuff."

"Okay." I can tell she's not really interested in hearing the details of the "stuff." "How'd they take it?"

"It was kind of funny, actually, looking back on it." I chuckle. "They thought he was dating a girl at first."

Hikari laughs. "Really?"

"Yeah, and then he decided to say it was Mimi-chan…"

That _really_ makes Hikari crack up. "Seriously!? Wow, if Mimi-san heard about that…"

"Yeah, and then we kind of cleared things up. They were confused, but accepting in the end."

"That's kind of the way okaa-san has taken it," Hikari says. She raises an eyebrow at me. "I feel like that's the proper response to take..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know it's weird." I let myself fall back onto the bed and land with a _plop_.

She pauses for a moment before she asks, "You guys are going to stay together, aren't you? …No matter what happens?"

"I mean, yeah, I want to," I reply. "…Do you _want_ us to stay together?"

"Well…it seems as though you would be well-suited for each other," she says. "And it's not like you guys don't already spend lots of time together anyway."

I laugh. It feels good to laugh. "Yeah, I guess that's true."

"Just…don't hurt him, okay, onii-chan?" Her voice has suddenly shifted to very, very serious.

I sit up and blink at her a couple of times. "Of course I won't, Hikari. Well, not on purpose, anyway."

"I know," she replies. She fidgets a little, looking at the floor, and then she says, "It's just…well…you like attention."

"What?"

"Are you _sure_ you're not doing this just because you like the attention?"

To be honest… I hadn't really thought much about that.

But it can't be true. Not after everything that's happened.

"Hikari, I've gotten plenty of attention from a ton of girls over the years, and I've never given in to any of them."

"Well, you're right," she admits. "But that's because you liked Sora that whole time."

I sigh. "Well, yeah. But I could have had any of them if I wanted to." Hikari has strange intuition sometimes, but I think in this case, she's off the mark.

"But they didn't know you well. They knew you were good at soccer and thought you were attractive, but that's it. Koushirou _knows_ you. Maybe even better than I do. Getting attention from someone like that…that's different."

"I mean, sure it's a different _kind_ of attention, of course, but I still don't think—"

"Look, I'm not telling you what to do. I know you won't listen to me anyway. I'm just telling you to _think_, okay?"

She looks straight into my eyes. She does that sometimes, and it never fails to make me nervous. "I know, Hikari."

"Alright."

Then, it occurs to me, what Koushirou said earlier…

"Hikari?"

"Mhm?"

"Koushirou…Koushirou told me that you knew all along that he liked me. Is that true?"

She giggles a little. "Yes, it is."

"…Why the _hell_ didn't you tell me?"

She laughs again. "It wasn't my place, onii-chan. I knew that if you ever found out, it would be because he told you himself. What, do you wish I would have told you?"

"Well…" I think about this for a moment. "No…I guess it would have been pretty awkward, especially if you had been wrong."

"Exactly. And I knew you didn't return the feelings at the time. It wouldn't have been fair to put Koushirou in such an uncomfortable position without his permission."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Then, suddenly, I hear my phone ring from inside my gym bag. As I walk over to get it, I hear Hikari chuckle.

"I'm willing to bet that's going to be the first in a long, _long_ barrage of curious phone calls."

…I get the feeling that her intuition is right on that one.

* * *

A/N: If you don't remember these events from the first Digimon movie, that's probably because you haven't seen the original Japanese version! Go watch it—your mouth will drop open when you realize that, yes, Hikari and Taichi's dad was a drunkard in that movie. They edited it out in the dub for obvious reasons.

So yeah, huge hiatus anyone? I'm truly sorry about that, but between schoolwork and a general lack of motivation, the words weren't coming to me. Nothing like a good case of procrastination to get them going again!

There are actually only two more chapters plus an epilogue, so I really hope that this can be finished at least before I graduate. That's my goal, anyway.

I also hope to edit the entire rest of the story before that time.

Thanks for reading!


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